- •Оглавление
- •От автора
- •Предисловие
- •Соль книги – Контексты
- •If they can put a man on the moon,
- •It is forbidden for a lady to eat chocolates on public transport (Stupid law of England).
- •It is unlawful to drag a dead horse down Yonge Street (Toronto) on a Sunday (Stupid law of Canada).
- •Illiterates don’t have to read this.
- •It is not legal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour
- •Irs agents never quit. They just don’t do anything too taxing anymore.
- •If sex is a pain in the ass you’re doing it wrong.
- •It is against the law to frown' at a police officer
- •It is a crime to delay or detain a homing pigeon
- •I have 75 balls and drive women crazy. I am best known as Bingo!
- •I’d give my left arm to be ambidextrous.
- •It is a crime to wear a mask in public
- •It is a crime for an owner of a pig to call him swine or 'Napoleon' (Stupid law of France).
- •If a man is caught kissing a woman in public the death penalty may be enforced (Stupid law of Greece).
- •It is illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas (Stupid law of Arkansas us).
- •Vampires are a pain in the neck.
- •In one Dutch region it is a crime to breach the dykes of a river, even though the region has no rivers (Stupid law of Holland).
- •I am too jung to see a psychologist.
- •It's a crime to set up a mousetrap without a hunting license
- •If someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your commode, you are obliged by law to allow them entry (Stupid law of Scotland).
- •If the opposite of pro is con, then what is the opposite of progress?
- •It is an offence to possess a hippopotamus
- •I looked in my wallet this morning and realized some Drunk spent all my money Last Night!
- •I bet you I could stop gambling.
- •I’ve been faithful to my girlfriend several times.
- •It is considered an offence to shower naked
- •I haven’t had sex for so long I think I’m a virgin again.
- •I avoid all relationships. A “relationship” is when you’re screwing your cousin.
- •I’ll never forget the night I got so drunk I couldn’t remember anything.
- •If a sheep is a ram, and a donkey is an ass, how come a ram in the ass is a goose?
- •It is against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp in Atlanta (Stupid law of Florida us).
- •Important discovery just in from the Psychology Department: The majority of accidents are caused accidentally.
- •It is against the law to speak English
- •It is considered an offence if a woman appears in public unless she is accompanied by a male relative or guardian.
- •It is illegal to whisper dirty things in lover's ear during sex (Stupid law of Oregon us).
- •I am an optimist. I think women are bad.
- •I wish I could drink like a man. I can take one or two. Three puts me under the table. And four puts me under the host.
- •Virginity is like a balloon – all it takes is one prick and it’s gone.
- •I was ruined twice. When I got married and when I got divorced.
- •It is illegal for a monkey to smoke cigarettes
- •It is illegal for over 16 women to occupy a house together because that constitutes a brothel ... However up to 120 men can live together without breaking the law.
- •It is illegal to utter profanities when talking about country music singer Loretta Lynn (Stupid law of Kentucky us).
- •In the event that a horse refuses to pass a car on the road, the owner must take his car apart and conceal the parts in the bushes (Stupid law of Pennsylvania us).
- •Приложение I Неофициальные названия языков, штатов, городов, стран и жителей этих стран и городов
- •Приложение II numerals and how they function
- •In modern english
- •Thousand
- •In two minds about something
- •In two shakes of a lamb's tail
- •Приложение III
- •A visit to the language zoo.
- •Goose – гусь
- •Fish – рыба
- •It’s better to be a small fish in a big pond than to be a big fish in a small pond.
- •It’s time to fish or cut bait – (дословно: или ловить рыбу, или снять с крючка наживку), «сматывать удочки» в виду отсутствия клева или бесполезности предприятия, время принимать решение.
- •Bird – птица
- •Wolf – волк
- •Butterfly – бабочка
- •Lion – лев
- •Crow – ворона
- •Duck – утка
- •Vixen – лиса (самка)
- •Rat fink.
- •Vulture – гриф
- •Varmint – вредное животное
- •Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed eager beavers.
- •Приложение IV-бонус! Занимательные и широко употребительные выражения повседневного английского языка, граффити, каламбуры, заголовки, опечатки, рекламные ляпы и многие другие казусы
- •Продолжение весёлого бонуса! From the Mouths of Babes
- •Losing the Human Race
- •Science Friction
- •Stop the Music!
- •Pullet Surprising Literature¹
- •Poly-Tickle Speeches
- •A Guide to Sportspeak
- •Blessed Bloopers
- •Gavel to Gabble
- •Premedicated Humor
- •Laugh Insurance
- •Signs of Trouble
- •New and used antiques Come in We are closed
- •In case of enemy attack
- •Headline Headaches
- •Study: those without insurance die more often
- •Banner Boners
- •Partial jury chosen for tyson case
- •How to combat that feeling of helplessness with illegal drugs Galley Oops!
- •Brand New Bloopers
- •Mrs. Malaprop Lives!
- •A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
- •Closed for official opening.
- •Under a Spell
- •Back to Grammar School
- •Those Dang(ling) Modifiers
- •Самые смешные граффити!
- •I like my job. It's the work I don't like.
- •It's the little things that count.
- •I lost my job, my wife and my Mercedes.
- •I sure miss that Mercedes.
- •Веселые истории, шутки, заголовки, опечатки и слоганы.
- •It’s cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
- •It hangs around after the man leaves and gives the woman a hug.
- •It’s not a big deal unless you’re not getting any.
- •It has 14 gears. Thirteen go in reverse and one forward, in case the enemy attacks from behind.
- •Men vs women jokes
- •Vive la difference
- •I need some space
- •Art and literature
- •Art and literature: batty books
- •Art and literature: World’s shortest books
- •Chat-up Lines
- •Chat-up Lines: extra cheesy
- •Dyslexia
- •Education
- •Education: absentees
- •Education: college
- •Education: dumb exam answers
- •Шутливый медицинский словарь
- •А теперь лингвистический десерт !!! language and linguistics: Etymological conundra
- •Is there another word for synonym?
- •Тематический указатель политика. Государство и власть
- •Бизнес. Экономика и финансы
- •Наука и техника. Образование
- •Сми и пиар
- •Человек
- •Литература и искусство
- •Географические названия
- •Персоналии
- •Ключевые слова "трудных" контекстов
- •Вопрос 799, 832, 881
Географические названия
Америка 34, 1298
Англия 59, 1007
Африка 275
Бейрут 1555
Белоруссия 1845-1846, 1856
Бостон 46
Бразилия 648
Брюссель 1499
Великобритания 611
Грузия 978, 1880, 1954
Делавэр 1225
Денвер 221, 336
Дубай 64
Европа 589, 1553
Израиль 1042, 1543, 1707, 1939
Индиана 1226
Индия 1843
Ирак 85, 106, 121, 169, 181, 204, 274, 323, 530, 614, 616, 618, 629, 815, 851, 897, 914, 921, 936, 1263, 1138, 1674, 1756, 1794, 1849, 1972, 2004
Иран 753, 1428, 1605, 1608, 1620, 1937, 1960
Ирландия 59, 248
Испания 1308
Каир 670
Канада 174
Каролина 1228, 1234
Кения 675, 1795
Китай 798, 1082, 1165, 1224, 1547
Конго 385
Корея 312, 746, 1955, 1977, 1996
Косово 1158
Ливан 576, 1542-1543, 1566, 1939
Ливия 879
Лондон 637-638, 641, 656, 676
Лос-Анджелес 58, 335, 1713
Малайзия 209
Марокко 663
Массачусетс 1612
Мекка 321, 488
Мексика 1062
Миссури 1211
Монако 779
Монтенегро 1563
Непал 1484
Нигерия 687, 1820
Нью-Йорк 45, 218-220, 696, 1054, 1222
Нью-Орлеан 221, 1223, 1686, 1698, 1725
Оклахома 1210, 1536
Пакистан 698, 1193, 1843
Палестина 249, 295, 397, 772
Панама 1502
Париж 647, 1343, 1415
Пекин 1410
Португалия 930-931
Рио-де-Жанейро 1736
Россия 110, 176, 552, 733, 737, 1264, 1302, 1350, 1515, 1622, 1880, 1912, 1954, 1983
Сан-Франциско 47, 1062
Сирия 1078
Судан 1721
США 205, 254, 589, 620, 1040, 1429, 1709
Трансильвания 194
Турция 460, 827, 865
Украина 157, 387, 542
Филадельфия 49
Флорида 1221
Франция 240, 318, 1007
Чикаго 44, 229
Шотландия 15, 59
ЮАР 59
Япония 728, 734, 1458, 15
Персоналии
Анан К. 787, 815
Ассад 1146
Берлускони 299, 303, 423
Блэр Т. 413, 647, 654, 897, 1483, 1575, 1732, 1866
Бонд Дж. 1318, 1324, 1614
Босс Х. 1917
Брандо М. 1268, 1902
Броснан П. 1318, 1326
Буш Дж. 50, 124, 180, 274, 296, 300, 307-309, 384, 402, 547, 555, 558-559, 573, 583, 610, 630, 635, 725, 828, 841, 850, 855, 861, 892, 900-901, 915, 918, 942, 1019, 1057, 1075-1077, 1080, 1198, 1437, 1476, 1535, 1602, 1609, 1661, 1799, 1855, 1885, 1890, 1986
Гарри 653, 657, 662
Гейтс Б. 1322, 1787, 1808
Гитлер А. 363
Горбачев М. 164
Депп Дж. 1913
Джексон М. 1125, 1346, 1351, 1462, 1468
Джонсон Л. 402, 1113, 1205
Жириновский В. 152
Зета-Джонс 103
Иствуд К. 402, 1103, 1417, 1419
Кастро Ф. 786
Кеннеди Дж. Ф. 402, 1110
Керри Дж. 840-841, 861, 993, 1022, 1279
Клинтон Б. 8, 402, 563, 880, 887, 901-903, 1003
Конан-Дойль А. 596
Кэрролл Л. 1928
Левински М. 951, 1005
Лукашенко А. 1708, 1851
Мадонна 1108, 1487
Майерс М. 1280
Меркель А. 1558
Милошевич С. 1771-1773, 1775-1776, 1818
Миног К. 212
Монро М. 1105, 1904
Мыскина 778
Нельсон 607
Озеров Н. 189
Пауэл К. 111-112, 120
Пек Г. 1135
Пикассо П. 1965
Пиночет А. 329, 2007
Пит Б. 820
Пресли Э. 203, 402, 539, 1104
Путин В. 178, 273, 345, 604, 1081, 1093, 1217, 1304, 1350, 1912
Райс К. 105, 241, 882
Рейган Р. 831, 1010, 1643
Рональдиньо 1024, 1028
Рузвельт Ф. Д. 1112
Сафин М. 35, 234, 493, 803, 980, 1012
Сахаров А. 164
Синатра Ф. 1107, 1145
Сталин И. 402
Стоун Ш. 884
Стюарт Р. 2001
Тайсон М. 271, 703, 1262
Трамп Д. 223, 228, 919, 1806, 1808-1810
Тэтчер М. 402
Ходорковский А. 179, 1495
Хусейн С. 330, 1691, 1963
Чарльз 1030, 1140, 1159
Шарапова М. 18, 61, 504, 522, 527, 585, 1002
Шарон 1313
Шварценеггер А. 1114, 1132, 1832
Шумахер А. 671
Эйзенхауэр Д. 1111
Эйнштейн А. 792
Ющенко В. 38, 238, 388, 405, 491, 935
Янукович 542