Art and literature: World’s shortest books

Guide to French Hospitality

Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific

Career Opportunities for History Majors

Different Ways To Spell Bob

Everything Men Know About Women

Everything Women Know About Men

Staple Your Way to Success

The Amish Phone Directory

The Australian Book of Foreplay

The Big Book of Foreplay

The Big Book of Tasty Bile Recipes

The Book of French Military Victories

The Engineers' Guide to Fashion

The Lawyers Code of Ethics

The Ronald Reagan Memoirs

The Very Best of German Humour

Things I Can't Afford by Bill Gates

Zagat's Guide to Cities Without a Starbucks

Chat-up Lines

"Tell me about yourself – your struggles, your dreams, your phone number." Peter Arno

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

Hi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?

I'd look so good on you.

Inheriting eighty million pounds doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

I seem to have lost my number. Can I have yours?

Chat-up Lines: extra cheesy

Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten-I-see!

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Do you know CPR? Because you take my breath away.

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together

If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

Is your dad a terrorist? Because you're a bomb!

Is your name Gillette? You're the best a man can get.

You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.

Dyslexia

A dyslexic man walks into a bra..(bar)

Did you hear about the atheist dyslexic? He didn't believe there was a dog. (God)

Dyslexics have more fnu! (fun)

Dyslexics of the world, untie! (unite)

Man, to job applicant, "The spelling in your resume is very erratic. Are you sure you don't have dyslexia? "Applicant, "Have it? I can't even spell it."

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexics Association.

Why is dyslexia so hard to spell?

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa. (Satan)

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp who bought a warehouse?

Education

"And who can tell me the name of the Speaker of the house?" asks the fourth-form teacher. Billy's hand shoots up, "Mummy."

A class has been photographed and teacher is trying to persuade them to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say "There's Jennifer – she's a lawyer" or "That's Michael – he's a doctor". A small voice calls out, "And there's teacher – she's dead!"

Farther, to son, "Let me see your report card." Son, "You can't. My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

A small boy is walking slowly to school. "Hurry up! You'll be late!" shouts out his mother. "There's no rush, he replies. They're open till three-thirty.

Make little things count. Teach arithmetic to dwarves.

An English teacher says to her pupils, "There are two words I don't allow in my class. One is gross and the other is cool." From the back of the room a voice calls out, "so, what are the words?”

An English teacher spots a boy staring out of the window and calls a question, "You, boy! Give me two pronouns." The boy looks round and says, "Who? Me?"

Mother, to son: "What did you learn in school today, dear? " Son: "How to write." Mother: "And what did you write? " Son: "I don't know, they haven't taught us to read yet."

Professor, to medical student: "What happens when the human body is immersed in water? " Student: "The telephone rings."

Teacher: "Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?" Pupil: "Twelve. The second of January, the second of February...!"

Teacher to pupil: "When you yawn, you're supposed to put your hand to your mouth!" Pupil: "What? And get bitten!"

Teacher, to pupil: "Where's the English Channel?" Pupil: "I don't know, my TV doesn't pick it up."

Why did the cross-eyed teacher get sacked? He couldn't control his pupils.

"Just look at this report card!" yells the angry father. "Your friend John doesn't come home with C's and D's on his report cards!" "No," comes the reply. "But he's different. He's got smart parents!"