Do men and women speak the same languages?

Do men and women understand the same things from the spoken word? Judging by the misinterpretation, misunderstanding and general mystification that can arise from a single simple sentence, there are grave reasons for doubt. In fact, I would put it even stronger. Do we even speak the same language?

First — and contrary to the general impression — men use language more. "Like everyone else, I used to believe that women were the talkative sex," says Dale Spender, a sociolinguist. "But when I analysed the results of over one hundred and forty recorded conversations between men and women, the result was quite the opposite. Whether we're talking about social gatherings or business meetings, one element never changes: in any conversation with a man, a woman who talks more than a third of the time is seen as talking too much.

Nowhere is this more obvious than on radio or TV talk shows. One host, Robert Robinson, once said, "It's difficult to find the right kind of woman to participate in my programme. Most of them can't stand up to me and so stay silent. They also find interrupting a bit tricky." On one occasion, a well-known female thinker became so cross and unhappy at being what she regarded as "shouted down" that she remained silent for the last fifteen minutes of the programme. Even those women who are perfectly capable of holding their own are notably less talkative than their male counterparts.

Another female characteristic is the belief that conversation should be a reciprocal exchange rather than an attempt to dominate the other person. According to sociologist Jennifer Coates, "When a woman in a group raises a topic, the others will encourage, sympathise or elaborate. The next female speaker may enlarge on some point, add a personal anecdote, or simply make 'Go on' interjections. But one thing she won't do is flatly contradict the previous speaker and abruptly change the subject. But men in a group with women often get bored with what they see as the slow build­up of a topic." The tried and tested method of avoiding this hazard is by doing what most women hate: interrupting.

"The effect constant interruption has on women is that they become silent," says Dr Coates. It isn't solely that men regard conversation as a contest, there is also a clash of styles. "We all think we know what a question is. But with men and women it triggers different reactions. Men think questions are requests for information, whereas women think they are part of the way in which a co-operative conversation works. If a woman asks a man a question, she's trying to keep the conversation going, while the man thinks this is a request for information, so he gives her a lecture." In social situations, this different view of the polite enquiry can often cause bad feelings. "The woman thinks, 'What is he on about? I didn't want a run-down on company accountancy,' and the man thinks, 'Why is she looking so cross? If she didn't want to know, why did she ask?' "

Although women have much greater sensitivity to what the other person is feeling, it is equally true that, in situations where power is concerned, the male cut-and-thrust style is the norm. "Male language allows them to have clear goals, stick to decisions, answer directly, says Natasha Josefowitz, author of Paths to Power. "Women say 'I think I can', where men say, 'I can'. And though the woman may be right — who knows if she can carry out a particular task until she is doing it? — what employers go for is confidence." In female conversation, this general tentativeness emerges in the use of 'soft' phrases such as 'I wonder if I might ...?', and 'Perhaps this isn't the moment to disturb you but ...' instead of the simpler expressions 'Please may I ...?' or 'Can I come in?'.

Dr Coates believes female politeness involves other factors as well. "Partly it is a recognition that other" people may not be imposed on. If I go next door, I say, 'I hope you don't mind, but could you possibly lend me a pint of milk, please?' not 'Can I have some milk?', which allows my neighbour the freedom to say 'Yes, of course' or 'I'm sorry, I haven't got one.' What it is doing is giving the other person a chance to get out of an obligation without losing face. Partly, too, it is a question of giving what Dr Coates calls 'positive face', which means reassuring others about their own value.

The reason for such discrepancies is something that frequently makes male English a rather different language from the female version of English: most men use language to conceal their feelings whereas women see it as means of revealing their emotions.

Vocabulary

the same - одинаковый, один и тот же

judging by - судя по...

misinterpretation - неверное толкование

misunderstanding - недопонимание

arise* from - возникать

single - один, единственный

grave - серьезный, веский

reason - причина, повод

doubt - сомнение

talkative - разговорчивый, болтливый

sex - пол (мужской, женский)

opposite - противоположный

gathering - собрание, встреча

obvious - очевидный

host - ведущий

interrupt - прерывать

tricky - хирый, ловкий; сложный, трудный

occasion - случай

female - женщина, женский

cross - разг.: сердитый, злой

shout down - заставить (оратора) замолчать

remain - оставаться

capable - способный

hold one's own - держаться на своем

notably - заметно

counterpart - здесь: собеседник

belief - убеждение, вера

reciprocal - взаимный

exchange - обмен

attempt - попытка

dominate - доминировать, верховодить

raise* - поднимать, затрагивать

topic - тема

encourage - поощрять

elaborate - развивать (идею, мысль)

enlarge - распространяться (о)

point - здесь: пункт

interjection - восклицание

flatly - категорически, резко

contradict - противоречтить

previous - предыдущий

abruptly - категорически, резко

avoid - избегать

hazard - здесь: риск, опасность

hate - ненавидеть, не любить

solely - единственно, только

regard - рассматривать

contest - состязание

clash - здесь: столкновение

trigger - здесь: запустить, вызвать

request - просьба, запрос

whereas - в то время как

inquiry - вопрос, наведение справок

cause - вызывать

run-down - здесь: подробный рассказ

accountancy - отчетность, бухгалтерия

sensitivity - чувствительность

equally - в ровной мере/степени

as... is concerned - что касается...

male - мужчина, мужской

clear goal - четкая цель

stick* to - придерживаться (чего-то)

carry out - выполнять, осуществлять

particular - определенный, тот или иной

confidence - доверие; уверенность

tentativeness - опробирование, эксперимент

emerge - возникать, появляться

soft - мягкий

I wonder - интересно (+ вопрос)

disturb - беспокоить

politeness - вежливость

involve - включать

recognition - признание

impose - здесь: обязывать

pint - пинта = 560 г

freedom - свобода

get* out - выйти из.., избежать

obligation - обязательство

lose* - терять, проигрывать

reassure - убеждать

value - ценность, цена

discrepancy - разногласие, противоречие

frequently - часто

conceal - скрывать, утаивать, прятать

whereas - в то время как

means - средство

reveal - открыть, обнаружить

Comprehension Check.

Ex. Answer the following questions:

1. What can be arisen from a single simple question?

2. Who uses language more - men or women?

3. What is Dale Spender's professional viewpoint on this issue?

4. What does Robert Robinson say about women's talkativeness?

5. What is another well-known female characteristic?

6. How do women feel and behave when being interrupted?

7. How do men and women react when being asked a question?

8. What is the difference between male and female language?

9. What factors does female politeness involve?

Topics to discuss.

1. Male and female reaction to questions.

2. Male and female language.

3. Male and female talkativeness.

Text 7

"The FIRM"

by John Grisham

(an abstract about learning foreign languages)

Ray and Mitch are Americans; at the described moment Ray is a prisoner,

while Mitch - his younger brother - is a lawyer, who has just graduated

from Harvard Law School.

Mitch had not been to Brushy Mountains (= prison) in three years. Three years and three months. They'd exchanged letters twice a month, every month, for eight years now.

"How's your French?" Mitch finally asked. Ray's Army test scores had revealed an amazing aptitude for languages. He had served two years as a Vietnamese interpreter. He mastered German in six months while stationed there. Spanish had taken four years, but he was forced to learn it from a dictionary in the prison library. French was his latest project.

"I'm fluent, I guess," Ray answered. "It's kinda hard to tell in here I don't get much practice. Evidently they don't teach French in the projects, so most of these brothers here re unilingual. It's undoubtedly the most beautiful language."

"Is it easy?"

"Not as easy as German. Of course, it was easier to learn German since I was living there and everybody spoke it. Did you know that fifty percent of our language comes from German through Old English?"

"No, I didn't know that."

"It's true. English and German are first cousins."

"What's next?"

"Probably Italian. It's a Romance language like French and Spanish and Portuguese. Maybe Russian. Maybe Greek. I've been reading about the Greek isles. I plan to go there soon." ......

A guard walked behind Mitch. "Three minutes," he said.

"What can I send you?" Mitch asked.

"I'd like a real favor, if you don't mind."

"Anything."

"Go to the bookstore and look for one of those cassette courses on how to speak Greek in twenty-four hours. Tha plus a Greek-to-English dictionary would be nice."

"I'll send it next week."

"How about Italian too?"

"No problem."

Vocabulary to the Text.

exchange - обменивать (ся)

finally - наконец

scores - мн.ч. очки, баллы

reveal - открывать, обнаруживать

amazing - восхитительный

aptitude (to) - склонность (к)

master - овладевать

force - принуждать, заставлять

latest - последний (по времени)

evidently - очевидно

unilingual - говорящий на одном языке

undoubtedly - несомненно

since - поскольку

Comprehension Check.

Ex. Answer the following questions:

1. Who are the main characters in this scene?

2. What is the age difference between the brothers?

3. What are their positions?

4. What aptitude does Ray have?

5. How did he know about it?

6. How many languages does he know?

7. What other languages does he plan to master?

Topics to discuss.

1. Ray and his aptitude.

2. Comparison of the languages.