Relationship Problem

Follow Steve’s algorithm to answer all the questions posed. Please write at least ONE good paragraph in response to each stage in Steve’s plan, referring to at least ONE concept from the chapter in each.

DEALING WITH WORKPLACE ABUSE

Workplace relationships and interactions always provide unanticipated challenges. But when supervisors abuse your trust in ways that are difficult to forgive, you must choose between maintaining peer friendships or preserving your own sense of honor. To consider how you might deal with such a situation, read the case study and work through the five steps that follow.

CASE STUDY

You take a job delivering pizzas to help pay for school. The restaurant has a supportive climate— workers are friendly and open. The delivery drivers in particular have a tight clique that they welcome you into, and you quickly become friends with several of them.

The only exception to the warmth of your new workplace is the manager, Cheryl. She is controlling, manipulative, and dogmatic and tries to run the restaurant “by the book.” The drivers warn you to watch out for her, telling you, “She’s really screwed people over before.” But you get along with her pretty well because of your exemplary work performance and positive attitude.

The most important workplace rule for drivers is to never leave your money pouch unattended.

The money pouch is the zippered bag into which you put all cash from sales. For safety’s sake, drivers are supposed to deposit cash after every delivery run, but when things get hectic, drivers often forget—resulting in accumulated cash in the pouches.

One night you’re on a run, but when a customer pays you, you discover you’re missing your pouch. You hadn’t deposited your money all night, and there was over $300 in it. Arriving back at the store, you tell Cheryl, and she says, “If it’s lost, company policy requires that you cover the missing money from your next paycheck!” This means you’re not going to be able to afford next month’s rent, much less food and gas! You tear your car and the restaurant apart looking for the pouch, and soon the other drivers are helping you search, offering their support and sympathies. But to no avail: after an hour, the pouch is still missing.

Sitting in despair, you begin to cry. Just then, Cheryl walks up, and with a smirk, hands you your pouch. “You left it unattended on the delivery table earlier, so I hid it, to teach you a lesson!” You’re stunned, humiliated, and furious! After months of exemplary work performance, why would she abuse you like that? Your first instinct is to quit in protest, even though you can ill afford it. But quitting would hurt the other drivers—who would have to scramble to cover your shifts—and jeopardize your friendships with them. Should you stay, but confront Cheryl? Or just suck it up and say nothing? As you’re pondering these options, Cheryl says, “So, what lessons have you learned from this experience?”

YOUR TURN

While working through the following steps, keep in mind the interpersonal communication concepts, skills, and insights you’ve learned so far in this book, especially this chapter. Also remember: there are no right answers, so think

hard about the choice you make! (P.S. Need help? Review the concepts listed below.)

Step 1: Reflect on yourself. What are your thoughts and feelings in this situation? What attributions are you making about Cheryl and her behavior? Are your attributions accurate? Why or why not?

Step 2: Reflect on your supervisor. Using perspective-taking, put yourself in Cheryl’s shoes. Consider how she is thinking and feeling. How does she likely perceive you, and your behavior, in this situation?

Step 3: Identify the optimal outcome. Think about all that has happened in this situation. Consider your feelings, those of Cheryl, and the feelings of the other drivers. Given all these factors, what’s the best, most constructive relationship outcome possible here? Be sure to consider not just what’s best for you, but what’s best for everyone else.

Step 4: Locate the roadblocks. Taking into consideration your own thoughts and feelings, those of Cheryl, and all that has happened in this situation, what’s preventing you from achieving the optimal outcome you identified in step 3?

Step 5: Chart your course. What can you say and do to overcome the roadblocks and achieve your relationship outcome?

HELPFUL CONCEPTS

Workplace cliques, 407–408

Organizational climate, 409–413

Advocacy, 419–420

Workplace abuse, 426

Skill

USING TECHNOLOGY TO SOLVE ORGANIZATIONAL PROBLEMS

This exercise helps you use technology to solve organizational problems in a supportive climate.

➊ Identify a challenge faced by your group or organization.

➋ Create an online discussion group or community related to this issue.

➌ Describe the problem in neutral terms, avoiding assignment of blame.

➍ E-mail everyone in your work unit, inviting them to post potential solutions.

➎ Encourage open and honest debate of ideas.

➏ Avoid absolutes in your own suggestions.

➐ Invite discussion participants to critically assess your proposals.

SHARPENING YOUR ADVOCACY SKILLS

This exercise helps you sharpen your advocacy skills.

➊ Think of a situation in which you might use advocacy to influence someone who has more power than you.

➋ Write down the other person’s decisionmaking and communication preferences.

➌ Create and practice saying messages that embody the principles of advocacy. As you practice, ask yourself if others would be convinced by your messages.

➍ Revisit your situation, but this time, imagine you’re talking with people who disagree with you. Generate new messages to counter their objections.

➎ Choose the messages that will best help you advocate in your organization.

RESPONDING TO WORKPLACE ABUSE

This exercise helps you respond to workplace abuse.

➊ Put yourself in the role of the abuser.

➋ List the abuser’s communication behaviors and possible motivations for them. Be specific.

➌ Plan your responses. For each behavior, what would you say or do? Remember to factor in the abuser’s motivations.

➍ Assess the effectiveness of your responses. Would your responses likely generate positive or negative outcomes? What are the organizational repercussions of your responses?