VI. Defining Friendship

1. BJ Fehr: Friendship is voluntary interpersonal relationships in which people involved like each other and enjoy each other’s company. Friendships can be short or brief, created for convenience or be based on mutual attraction.

2. Central aspects of friendship: (a) friendships are voluntary, wherein participants negotiate borders of their relationships; (b) friendships are rooted in liking: - similar interests and activities, similar self-disclosure; (c) friendships are enjoyable.

3. Differences of friendships: (a) easier to break than romantic or kin relations; (b) less likely to share affection publicly; (c) spend less time together; (b) are power balanced.

4. Friendship evolve as reference group changes: (a) young children look to their families; (b) as they grow they start shifting their attention to friends; (c) by end of school they look more for romantic partners; (d) adults go back to their families.

5. There are different cultural expectations for friendships. Individualistic cultures treat friendship networks as changeable; collectivistic cultures view friendships as enduring and lengthy.

VII. Different Types of Friendships

1. Communal friendships (William Rawlins): friendships that mostly share times and activities: (a) often get together; (b) provide encouragement and emotional support; (c) only survive when mutual; (d) can be supported via networks across distances.

2. Agentic Friendships: friendships to achieve goals in personal and professional lives: study for exams, fix cars, set up computers, etc. (a) mostly focused on helping; (b) meetings depend on availability; (c) develop no emotional interdependence; (d) do not share personal information; (e) uncomfortable with personal demands.

DISCUSSION STARTER 5: Do you have more communal or agentic friends? How do you communicate differently with the two types of friends? Which type of friend do you depend on more, day to day? Why?

C. Paul Adams defines eight types of friendship (Michael’s Sound Bite 10-1): (a) associates were people who only shared a common activity, like a hobby or a sport; (b) Useful contacts were people who shared information and advice, typically related to work or advancing ones career; (c) Favor friends were people who helped each other out in a functional manner, but not in an emotional manner; (d) Fun friends were people who socialized together, but only for fun. They didn’t provide each other with a deep level of emotional support; (e) Helpmates were a combination of favor friends and fun friends. They socialized together and helped each other out in a functional manner; (f) Comforters were like helpmates, but they also provided emotional support; (g) Confidants disclosed personal information to each other, enjoyed each other’s company, but weren’t always in a position to offer practical help, for example if they lived far away. (h) Soulmates displayed all of the elements (http://www.thinkoutsidein.com/blog/2010/04/eight-types-of-friendship/)