Improving your communication online

This exercise helps improve your attributions when communicating online.

➊ Recall a negative e-mail, IM, text message, or Web posting you received.

➋ Identify your explanation of why the person sent the message.

➌ Consider how this attribution shaped your response.

➍ List other possible causes for the person’s message.

➎ Envision how your response would have differed had you made an alternative attribution.

➏ For the next online message you perceive as negative, check your attributions carefully and make decisions that lead to more effective communication.

USING ALGEBRAIC IMPRESSIONS

This exercise strengthens your ability to use algebraic impressions.

➊ When you next make a new acquaintance, spend time observing everything you can about the person.

➋ Afterward, make a list of the traits you perceived.

➌ Scrutinize your list, considering each trait’s importance and its positivity or negativity, and then form an algebraic impression of the person.

➍ Do the same thing after subsequent interactions.

➎ Pay close attention to how any new information changes your impression.

EXPERIENCING AND EXPRESSING EMPATHY

This exercise helps you experience and express empathy.

➊ Identify a challenging interpersonal encounter.

➋ As it unfolds, consider how the other person is viewing you and the interaction.

➌ Think about the emotions he or she is feeling.

➍ Communicate perspective taking, avoiding “I know” messages.

➎ Express empathic concern, letting the person know you value his or her feelings.

➏ Disclose your own feelings.

VII. Extra Credit: Quiz

Take one of these quizzes and write a one-page reflection on your results referring to at least THREE concepts in the chapter (10 points).

Quiz 1. Test Your Self-Esteem

This quiz can help you gauge your self-esteem. For each statement, mark whether you strongly agree with the statement (SA), agree with it (A), disagree with it (DA), or strongly disagree (SD). Give yourself a 3 for each statement marked SA, 2 for A, 1 for DA, and 0 for SD, and total your score.

______ I feel that I am a person of worth, at least on an equal plane with others.

______ I have a positive attitude toward myself.

______ On the whole, I am satisfied with myself.

______ I feel that I have a number of good qualities.

______ I am able to do things as well as most other people.

Scoring: Scores of 7 and below indicate low self-esteem; scores of 8 and above represent high self-esteem

Quiz 2. Test Your Self Disclosure

Think about the person you currently consider closest to you, such as your best friend, a close family member, or your romantic partner. For each phrase below, rate your self-disclosure between 0 and 4, 0 indicating no self-disclosure to your partner and 4 denoting full self-disclosure. Add your ratings to arrive at your total score.

______ 1. My personal habits

______ 2. Things I’ve done that I feel guilty about

______ 3. Things I wouldn’t do in public

______ 4. My deepest feelings

______ 5. What I like and dislike about myself

______ 6. What is important to me in life

______ 7. What makes me the person I am

______ 8. My worst fear

______ 9. Things I’ve done that I’m proud of

______ 10. My close relationships with other people

Scoring: 0–15 - low disclosure; 16–25 - moderate disclosure; 26–40 - high disclosure.

Repeat this exercise for other people in your life, such as same-sex friends, coworkers, and casual acquaintances. Examine your pattern of scores. Do you tend to be high, moderate, or low in disclosure? Does your willingness to disclose depend on the relationship? What do your scores generally tell you about how you self-disclose?