V. Maintaining Mixed Status Relationships

A. Torrance L. Albrecht: (a) develop and follow communication rules as what, when and how it is appropriate to communicate; (b) communicate consistently and reliably; (c) be punctual; (d) follow through on appointments and promises; (e) keep confidences.

DISCUSSION STARTER 6: If you directly supervised a collegial or special peer, could you evaluate his or her performance objectively? What might happen if the friend was doing unsatisfactory work and you gave him or her negative feedback? Could your relationship survive such an incident? If so, how?

VI. Workplace Abuse

A. Workplace abuse is defined as verbal or nonverbal behavior that is hostile. Workplace abuse: (a) does not have to involve physical contact; (b) usually consists of harmful communication; (c) usually goes downward.

DISCUSSION STARTER 7: Think about the most effective supervisor you know. Which aspects of this supervisor’s communication make him or her so effective? His or her openness? Skill at explaining things? Willingness to listen?

B. Attributes of Workplace Abuse (Theodore Zorn): (a) making unreasonable demands; (b) insulting people privately and publicly; (c) disparaging their ideas and feelings; (d) reminding people of their past failures; (e) taking credit for what is accomplished by someone else; (f) being overly critical about performance.

C. Coping with Workplace Abuse: (a) quit and find a new job; (b) choose to ignore it; (c) directly confront the abuser.

VII. Sexual Harassment

A. Eric Eisenberg: Two types of sexual harassment include: (a) asking for sexual favors; (b) creating a hostile climate.

B. Coping with sexual harassment: (a) avoid the harasser; (b) ignore the harassment; (c) confront the harasser.

DISCUSSION STARTER 8: Would you continue working if you didn’t need to? Why or why not? If you chose not to work, what consequences can you envision for your life? How would not having a job affect your sense of purpose? Your happiness?

Practice

I. Opening Story: Starting the Discussion

A. Michael’s Instructions: While not obligatory for reading, the opening story in each chapter sets the mood for the rest of the reading. Stephen chooses stories that relate to several concepts in the chapter and talks about these concepts in general terms.

B. Read the opening story and identify three concepts from the chapter that characterize the communication process in the situation.

C. Then: (a) think of similar examples in your life, (b) remember the actions that the hero of the story, you, and other people around you took when they faced the situation; (c) think of the ways these actions influenced everyone involved; (d) suggest the ways which your naïve knowledge of communication offered you as remedies for whatever did not work in communication in that particular instance; (e) discuss how your scientific knowledge of communication changes your perception, and list three things that you would do now if you faced a similar situation in the future

D. An essay on the opening story can be used as an extra credit opportunity. If you would like to get more points, write a six-paragraph essay answering the questions above in good paragraphs (1 opening sentence, 2-3 main idea sentences, 1 summary and transition sentence). Make note that although this assignment is long and fairly difficult, you will be given only 10 points for it. The reason for it is that the extra credit points must be extra hard to get.

STORY OF TWO FRIENDS AT WORK

When Silvia Amaro and Vivian Derr first began working at a California medical office in 1979, neither had any idea that their relationship would endure for more than a quarter century. Silvia was a Latina allergy nurse from south Texas; Vivian, a European American pediatric nurse practitioner from Pennsylvania. Silvia’s work responsibilities included assisting physicians, meeting walk-in patients, making phone assessments, and scheduling appointments.

Vivian, who was Silvia’s supervisor, did all of these tasks plus oversaw the nursing staff. Working together daily, the two quickly made a deal to manage patient visitations by splitting the workload.

Silvia and Vivian’s workplace collaboration evolved into a close friendship as the two nurses began sharing personal information with each other. As their friendship deepened, the women’s home lives and work lives became intertwined. Silvia’s youngest daughter babysat Vivian’s son. Vivian gave Silvia’s boys sports physicals so Silvia wouldn’t have to make time to bring them to a doctor.

After several years, Silvia was promoted to a management position while Vivian was recruited to work at Children’s Hospital of Orange County in California. The hospital operated a health van, which traveled throughout the community and provided health care services to underserved and uninsured residents.

When the health van’s manager resigned, Vivian recruited Silvia for the position. In a reversal of their previous workplace roles, Silvia became Vivian’s supervisor. But as Silvia describes, “It didn’t make any difference to our friendship.”

Silvia was an excellent manager, but at heart she remained an allergy nurse. When the Children’s Hospital started a second van program—a “Breathmobile” providing asthma care for uninsured children—Silvia switched to managing the Breathmobile. She persuaded Vivian to take the reins as health van manager. Today, the two women travel to schools and community clinics in the county, giving presentations to parents, teachers, and community members. Their friendship remains steadfast. As Vivian notes, “We can talk on the phone forever. It seems we always have something to run by each other. Our husbands do not understand how we could have so much to say to each other after working side by side all day.” Silvia adds, “We always joke about being ‘sisters separated at birth.’ We tell everyone that!”

The van programs that Silvia and Vivian manage are very successful and so is their enduring and intimate friendship, which has survived stress, power shifts, personal change, and time. For Silvia and Vivian, as for anyone with a close coworker friendship, the line between work and home life has been blurred. In its place, what has emerged is a union of the personal and the professional that allows these friends to meet their daily work challenges and share in each other’s private triumphs and troubles. As Vivian describes, “I could not have become the successful manager that I am without Silvia’s guidance and support. We are a team. We can work very well apart from each other, but we always come back together when it comes to big decisions. I have never felt anything but love and respect for Silvia.” Discussing their relationship separately, Silvia offers a similar sentiment: “We love and respect each other and always bounce big decisions [off] each other, knowing that we can trust what the other person says. We help each other and talk about everything without feeling like we are being judged.”