4. Improving Your Online Self-Presentation

1. Choosing a screen-name select the one that you think best represents you; (b) remember that online self-presentation is mostly visual; (c) make sure you show warranting value; (d) conduct web searches on yourself, including photos; (e) subject your online self-presentation to the interview test (will I be comfortable sharing this information in a job interview).

DISCUSSION STARTER 6: Have you ever distorted your self-presentation online to make yourself appear more attractive and appealing? If so, was this ethical? What were the consequences—for yourself and others—of creating this online mask?

IV. Social Penetration Theory

1. Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor: your self is like an onion: peripheral layer (demographic characteristics, suitable for new acquaintances); intermediate layer (your attitudes and opinions on many things); central layer (your values, traits, fears, self-awareness, self-concept, self-esteem).

2. Interpersonal relationships penetrate to different layers of this onion. Breadth of the layer defines the number of different aspects you show at each of the levels; depth of the layer defines how deeply you allow your partner to penetrate. Penetration rates are not consistent across different people.

COMMUNICATION SCHOLAR: Irwin Altman COMMUNICATION SCHOLAR: Dalmas Taylor

C. Surface/Deep and Slow/Fast Penetration (Michael Sound Bite 2-4). Michael’s student Natalya Drozdova: Some people hasten deeper penetration by either inviting it or probing too deep with their friends. This creates a dragging momentum that may scare people away. Michael’s student Maria Sharova: Some people need life-changing events fast, others take it more slowly. Slow people frustrate faster people; faster people confuse and overwhelm slower people.

V. The Johari Window

Developed by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham, the Johari Window presents four facets of ourselves based on what we and others know about us.

1. Public area (something that we know about us and so do others);

2. Hidden area (something that we know about us but others do not);

3. Blind area (something that other know about us, while we don’t);

4. Unknown area (aspects of our selves that are unknown to everyone).

Quadrants change; most exchange is between public and hidden areas. The unknown area remains stable. Discovering the blind area changes our self-concept. We must work to find out things in the blind area to make adjustments as needed.

DISCUSSION STARTER 7: Consider your “blind area” of self. What strengths might you possess that you don’t recognize? What character flaws might exist that don’t mesh with your selfconcept? How can you capitalize on these strengths and mend your flaws so that your interpersonal communication and relationships improve?

VI. Self Disclosure

1. Charles Wheeless: Self-disclosure is revealing information about ourselves to others; can be helpful or damaging.

2. Differences in self-disclosure: (a) cultures offer various degrees of self disclosure; (b) some people within the same culture are more ready to disclose than others; (c) people disclose more readily online; (d) self-disclosure helps promote health and reduces stress; (e) women disclose more than men; both genders are more comfortable sharing with females; teenagers disclose more to mothers and best female friends.

DISCUSSION STARTER 8: Have you ever disclosed something to someone, only to have him or her use it against you? If so, what consequences did you suffer? Could you have communicated the same information differently so that it didn’t put you at risk? If so, how? If not, why not?

C. Disclosing Yourself More Effectively

1. Know yourself: say what you want to share, and feel certain about; when disclosing, remember that you affect lives and relationships of others.

2. Know your audience: say what you think can be well-perceived;

3. Don’t force others to self-disclose;

4. Don’t presume gender preferences;

5. Be sensitive to cultural differences;

6. Go slowly.