Changing American Families

When Americans consider families, many of them think of a "traditional family." A traditional family is one in which both parents are living together with their children. The father goes out and works and the mother stays home and rears the children. The biggest change in families in the United States is that most families today do not fit this image. Today, only 11 percent of all American families are "traditional families" in this sense.

The most common type of family now is one in which both parents work outside the home. In 1950 only 20 percent of all American families had both parents working outside the home. Today, it is 60 percent, even women with young children arc going back to work. About 42 percent of women with children younger than six years old now work outside the home.

Another big change is the increase in the number of families that are headed by only one person, usually the mother. The number of one-parent families increased by more than 100 percent between 1970 and 1983. Today an average of one out of eight children lives with only one parent. Three percent of American families are headed by a man rearing children alone.

Another change is that families in the United States are getting smaller. In the mid-1700s, there were six people in the average household. Today the average household contains between two and three people. A household is defined as any place where at least one person is living.

One recent change is that the number of marriages is rising. The number of babies born also has been climbing steadily for the past 10 years. Many experts see these trends as a sign that Americans arc returning to the values of marriage and family.

History of the American Family

To understand why these changes are happening, let us look at the history of the family in the United States. When the United States was established, more than 200 years ago, it was a big, sparsely settled country. Earlier, this land had been a colony of Great Britain. For many years the immigrants who settled in the United States were nearly all of European origin, but later people came to the United States from all over the world. Life was hard for these early families. The average marriage in colonial America lasted only 10 years because many people died young. Few people lived to be older than 60. A widow or widower often remarried many times. Even with today's high rate of divorce, many marriages last longer now than marriages did in the 1700s.

Later, Americans began settling the American West. They were looking for land to farm and for a better life. They left behind their homes, their relatives and their friends. When these settlers said good-bye to the people they loved, usually it was forever. These first settlers of the Midwest and the Great Plains of the northwestern United States were isolated; often their nearest neighbor was many miles away. Family members had to work together and to depend on each other to survive.

The family formed an important economic group. All of its members helped to bring food and money into the home. They worked on a farm, planting and harvesting, or they worked making goods to sell at a market. Few people got married as a result of love or affection alone. Most people married because they needed a family in order to make a living. When people married, often they looked for the husband or wife who could bring the most material goods into the marriage. In colonial America, men who did not marry were heavily taxed. Almost 90 percent of all population married.

Many changes came to families when the United Stales shifted from being mainly a farming nation to being an industrial nation. This happened in the late 1800s. In 1820, fewer than eight percent of Americans lived in cities. By 1900 about 40 percent of all people lived in cities. People began earning their money outside the home in factories. Instead of getting married on the basis of economic need, people could marry primarily for love.

As men and women became less dependent on their families for a livelihood, the number of divorces began to increase. Between 1900 and 1920, the divorce rate doubled; in 1900, there were four divorces for every 1,000 married couples. By 1920, there were eight divorces for every 1,000 married couples. This trend alarmed people, but divorce was not new. The first divorce in the United States occurred in 1639 and involved a man who had married two women. Still, divorce was difficult. A wife was her husband's property. If a husband abused his wife, she had few alternatives and sometimes a wife, or even a husband, would run away from a bad marriage.

The decade of the 1950s is thought to have been the most family-oriented period in American history. People praised and glorified families. Hundreds of thousands of young couples married. They married at the youngest ages in the history of the United States. "In the 1950s, by the time men and women reached 27 years old, more than two-thirds of them were married. Today fewer than half of all 27-year-olds are married. The 1950s was also a "baby boom" time, with very high birth rates. In one year alone more than 4.3 million babies were born. The average mother had more than three children; today the average mother has one or two children.

Today, some people look at the American family of the 1950s as a model or a goal for the family. Many experts, however, see the 1950s as an exceptional period. They say that the marriage and family patterns of Americans today are closer to those prevalent during the rest of American history than was the pattern of the 1950s.

Slowly some of the values accepted during the 1950s began to change. During the 1960s and the 1970s, some women found that they wanted more from life than rearing children, and caring for household matters. Women began to see that they had choices. They could have a job or a family, or both. More women began taking jobs. According to the magazine, U.S. News and World Report, the number of families in which both husbands and wives worked grew by four million during the 1970s.

The period of the late 1970s and early 1980s has also been called the decade of the "me generation." This is a time in which people have explored new ways of living. In the 1970s many couples began living together without being married. These couples questioned why they needed a marriage license.

For about 10 years, the number of unmarried couples living together grew rapidly. Birth control also became more widely accepted. Couples were able to choose when they wanted to start a family.

Other changes also occurred. One change was an increase in divorces. In 1970, there were 47 divorces for every 1,000 married couples. By 1980, this number had grown to 114 divorces for every 1,000 married couples.

In the mid-1980s, more traditional marriage and family practices returned. Today, married couples are the fastest crowing type of household in the United Stales. Women and men are rediscovering the joys of home and family life. Even the leaders who speak out strongly for women's rights are modifying their views regarding the relative importance of career and family life for women. One leader in the women's movement, Betty Friedan, says now that American women must again emphasize the importance of the family.

Looking at the history of families in the United States helps to explain how the American family is changing. But what do these changes mean? Are they good or bad? In order to understand, let us look at what is behind these numbers.

11. Study the reasons of divorce and tips how to prevent it. Share your stories about people who lived through divorce or were on the point of divorce (lives of celebrities, for example) but saved their marriage. What were the reasons of divorce? How did they manage to stay in marriage?

The Top 10 Reasons Marriages End in Divorce

by Mary Montgomery

In life, things happen for a reason and divorce is one of those life events that just doesn’t happen by accident. In a marriage, whether it’s been a year or 20 years, problems tend to build up over time. If one or both of the spouses chooses not to share how they’re feeling, the probability of reaching a divorce at that point is very likely. Based on a survey conducted by the National Fatherhood Institute, the top reasons for divorce in the U.S. across all demographics included a lack of commitment by one or both partners, too much arguing, and infidelity. In today’s day and age, more marriages end in divorce, we’ve compiled a list of the top ten “symptoms” or reasons why divorce happens.

1. Lack of communication. This is one of the major reasons why divorce happens. Distance is created quickly if you don’t share your feelings, don’t tell your partner what’s happening, and keep your feelings to yourself. A successful relationship constantly keeps the lines of communication open.

2. Finances. Money talks and can make your life better or in some cases worse than you were. If money becomes a consistent topic of disagreement, the road to divorce is certain.

3. Feeling constrained. You may feel your marriage is holding you back from achieving goals and taking opportunities. If your partner can’t support you, then they don’t support the marriage.

4. Trust. Do you really trust your spouse? Trust is one of the leading factors in having a successful relationship and marriage. Your marriage is unlikely to survive if you don’t trust your spouse.

5. Expectations from each other. When expectations aren’t met, it can put a strain on the relationship. This leads to a personality conflict because one or the other spouse won’t bend to sacrifice their time and comfort.

6. Your spouse doesn’t understand / fulfill your needs and desires. It’s common knowledge that we all have different needs and wants. A partner who won’t acknowledge your interests and desires won’t go the distance to fulfill your needs and wants.

7. Quick change in lifestyle. Couples that can’t compromise and meet in the middle are unable to adapt to new changes and be together in harmony.

8. Insecurity. Jealousy and insecurity can lead to fights, and questioning each other’s intentions can put a dent into trust and your relationship moving forward.

9. Religious and cultural differences. Religious beliefs and cultural values can cause conflict, which affects the way you live your life and raise your children. If you aren’t committed to adapting and practicing these values, this can be an ultimate deal breaker.

10. Abuse. Lastly, if you’ve been in a situation where your partner has been abusive or controlling in any manner, discuss this rationally with your spouse. If need be, contact a trusted family, friend, or your attorney about this matter.