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2. After all that, do you feel well enough to read on? Note the ways that illnesses can be spoken of and reported in the text below. Examination Fever

For most of the year, most of us had been allergic to work; apparently there had been a history of such allergies in the school.

Throughout the spring there had been quite a few cases of ‘Exams are stupid’, which proved highly contagious among friends.

Then in late May, one or two of us suffered a mild attack of ‘Gosh, is it really next month?’ and we seemed to give that to the others rather rapidly. You could tell how it was spreading from improved attendance at lessons.

An even more serious outbreak was that of the very infectious ‘I don’t know a thing’ two weeks before. At about the same time everyone seemed to catch “You’re no good!’ from the teachers. Then there was a bout of ‘I don’t really care’ followed by a few chronic cases of ‘My parents will kill me’. This again proved very catching; half the class was down with it in the week leading up to the exam itself, and it had reached epidemic proportions by the Friday before.

By this time, those who had been suffering from ‘It’ll be easy for me’ had made a total recovery.

That Friday there was a ‘What if I’m suffering from amnesia?’ scare, and this had developed by Monday into a touch of ‘I can’t even remember my own name’.

There were also, of course, the normal isolated cases of ‘My pen doesn’t work’ and several pupils had a sudden fit of ‘Where’s the toilet?’

Afterwards there were a couple of complaints of ‘I know I’ve failed’, but generally the worst seemed to be over. Such diseases are rarely terminal. And after all, we had a convalescence and recuperation period of six and a half weeks to follow.

3. Here, on this rather unpleasant page, are some of the best-known and least-wanted diseases and conditions, arranged according to where they strike or what causes them. However, in each group there is one that should not be there. Can you identify it?

The heart and blood vessels

poor circulation

high blood pressure

a stroke

heart attack

jaundice

cardiac arrest

heart failure

The liver

gallstones

cirrhosis of the liver

hepatitis

cancer of the liver

coronary thrombosis

The stomach and intestines

appendicitis

stomach ulcer

polio

a hernia

constipation

The blood

anaemia

pneumonia

leukaemia

a haemorrhage

a blood clot

Infectious fevers

measles

chickenpox

German measles (rubella)

smallpox

pleurisy

glandular fever

yellow fever

scarlet fever

whooping cough

influenza

leprosy

malaria

Food poisoning

typhoid

dysentery

diarrhoea and vomiting

salmonella

mumps

The joints

rheumatism

enteritis

arthritis

fibrositis

The lungs and respiratory system

diphtheria

catarrh

sinusitis

tonsilitis

laryngitis

asthma

angina

cholera

bronchitis

tuberculosis (TB)

lung cancer

The nervous system

migraine

epilepsy (epileptic fits)

Parkinson’s disease

multiple sclerosis

muscular dystrophy

Mental disorders

schizophrenia

manic depression

neurosis

paranoia

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