Men in the kitchen

Men, when was the last time you did any cooking? Can’t remember? I am going to preach now rather like the way the Jehovah’s Witnesses would stop you and ask, “what about God?”, what about him indeed, what about cake?

The idea of men in the kitchen isn’t new of cour­se, apparently the ancient priests of Egypt were the ones with the best nose for spices and the finest sense of good ingredients. The mediaeval monks were known for their fine taste in the culinary arts, while Norodanus the Hermit was exacting in his cake-mak­ing. It is only with the change from matriarchal to patriar­chal society that we men have had to take second place to the women in this impor­tant sphere of life. There was a time when the women went out to hunt, made weapons and strange statuettes of fer­tile men which they wor­shipped. All this changed with the Greeks though, and now we’re left with the pre­sent state of poverty in men’s knowledge of how to boil an egg, or what to do with a sprig of mint. Admittedly I have invented this entire paragraph but I think the point has been made.

It doesn’t have to be this way. We could learn. I for one have seen the light and now talk of nothing else; indeed on days off away from the office I do nothing else but sit in the kitchen pondering recipes from the battered flour-covered milk-stained cookery book. Most recently I have been working on Christ­mas cakes. The hardest part being not to eat the thing straight after cooking it but to wait, and following the tradi­tion of little old ladies in the Miss Marple mould, to liberal­ly dose the cake in sher­ry, whisky or cognac in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Only just before the day in question can you go ahead and ice the cake (putting down a layer of marzipan first). Can I wait this long? The ritual of dosing the cake is also a good excuse for a bit of self-dosing too, and you can be sure that in Britain up and down the land, right now are a tribe of old dears in their kitchens more than ever so slightly sozzled.

Will men be allowed into this ritual? They have their own of course and may argue that they don’t need to. But our outlook would be much improved if we did likewise.

What is the Russian reac­tion to the idea of men in the kitchen? I was once given a book entitled “Muzhchina na Kukhnye” and illustrated with a bizarre montage of a chick­en, two men’s heads, a typical Russian table top and a bowl of the ubiquitous smyetana

The cover said that the idea of men cooking was comical. A friend of mine related that because he cooks, his girl­friend’s friends have said that she has him well-trained! The only advice is the most appropriate, bake that cake and get out the sherry!

Philip Marriott

Moscow News 18/10/2008

Vocabulary notes

preach [prI(:)C] проповедовать, поучать, читать наставления

the Jehovah’s Witnesses [GI'hquvq 'wItnIsiz ] религиозная секта свидетелей Иеговы

priest [prI(:)st] жрец

monk [mAnk] монах

culinary ['kAlInqrI] кулинарный

matriarchal ["meItrI'Q:k(q)l] матриархальный

patriar­chal ["peItrI'Q:k(q)l] патриархальный

statuette ["stxtju'et] статуэтка

fer­tile ['fq:taIl] плодовитый

sprig – веточка

admittedly [qd'mItIdlI] по общему признанию, предположительно

make the point – доказать положение

see the light – понять, убедиться

ponder ['pOndq] обдумывать, взвешивать, размышлять

battered ['bxtqd] потрепанный, мятый

in sb’s mould – зд. типа, подобный

cognac ['kOnjxk] коньяк

marzipan ["mQ:zI'pxn] марципан

sozzled – разг. вдрызг пьяный

layer ['le(I)q] слой, пласт

tribe – племя, клан

likewise ['laIkwaIz] подобно, также

ubiquitous [ju(:)'bIkwItqs] вездесущий, повсеместный

Analyze the following words

knowledge outlook

admittedly milk-stained

apparently patriar­chal

liberal­ly reac­tion

Find the English equivalents

Заниматься приготовлением пищи; как насчет; средневековые монах; древнеегипетские жрецы; прославиться чем-л.; изысканный вкус; лишь с пе­реходом от… к; признаю; так не должно быть; совсем недавно; сразу по­с­­ле приготовления; покрыть торт глазурью; предлог для; по всей Брита­нии; более чем обычно; слегка наклюкавшийся; допускать кого-л. к священнодействия, ритуалу; поступать подобным образом; на обложке говорилось.

Comprehension questions

1. Is the idea of men in the kitchen new?

2. What examples from history does the author give to illustrate his statement?

3. Do you think his arguments are real facts?

4. What for does the author invents these facts?

5. What, do you think, prevents men from learning to cook?

6. What does the author of the article find pleasure in his spare time?

7. What does he consider the hardest part of cooking?

8. Why is the idea of men cooking considered comical in our country?

9. What is your personal opinion on the topic?

10. What advice does the author give to Russian (and evidently not only Russian) men?

11. How serious, in your opinion, is the author when he writes all this?

12. Is it really necessary for modern people to be able to cook?

13. Who usually does cooking in your family? Why?

14. Do you enjoy cooking? If yes, what makes it so enjoyable for you? If no, give your reasons why you dislike it.

***

ACTIVE VOCABULARY

adult ['xdAlt"Aq'dAlt] взрослый, со­вершеннолетний, зрелый человек

assure [q'Suq] уверять, заверять, убеждать

background ['bxkgraund] под­ноготная, происхождение, биографические данные

breakthrough ['breIk'Tru:] открытие, шаг вперед в определенной области, прорыв

case – случай, обстоятельство

collapse [kq'lxps] крушение, гибель, крах

community [kq'mju:nItI] община, сообщество

condition [kqn'dIS(q)n] состояние, положение, обстановка

consequence ['kPns(I)kwqns] след­ствие, последствие

currently ['kAr(q)ntli] в насто­ящее время

development [dI'velqpmqnt] раз­ви­тие

environment [In'vaIqr(q)nmqnt] окружение, окружающая обстановка

excellence ['eks(q)lqns] превос­ходство, высокое качество

faith [feIT] вера, доверие

finance [faI'nxns] финанси­ро­вать

foster – приемный (о семье, ро­дителях)

gain – добиваться, завоевывать

house – предоставлять жилище, дать приют, вмещать

inevitable [In'evItqbl] неизбежный, неминуемый

local ['lquk(q)l] местный

notorious (for) [nqu'tO:rIqs] поль­зующийся дурной славой, печаль­но известный

obedient [q'bI(:)djqnt] послушный, покорный

orphan ['O:f(q)n] сирота

orphanage ['O:fqnIG] приют для сирот

recognition ["rekqg'nIS(q)n] признание, одобрение

responsibility [rIs"pOnsq'bIlItI] от­­­ветственность, обязательства

root – корень, причина, источник

spread [spred] (2/3 spread) развертывать, распространять

support [sq'pO:t] поддерживать, помогать

survive [sq'vaIv] выжить, продолжить существовать

unemployment ['AnIm'plOImqnt] безработица

violent ['vaIqlqnt] насиль­ствен­ный

within [wI'DIn] в пределах, внутри

Practise aloud

adult spread violent essence assure

collapse support survive within obedient

community environment eventually inevitable anticipate

representative breakthrough excellence notorious responsibility

finance background consequence rehabilitate