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ficulty forming and defending their own opinions and easily become dependent on
other people.
Material-oriented families. In such families, the main attention is paid to material well-being. Children here are taught to look at life pragmatically from early
childhood. The spiritual world of parents and children, as a rule, is impoverished.
This version of the parenting model can also be formed when parents are excessively
preoccupied with themselves, their work, or their own relationships.
Hostile families. They are dominated by disrespect for children, mistrust, surveillance of them, and physical punishment. As a result, children, as a rule, grow up
secretive, unfriendly, have a bad attitude towards their parents, do not get along with
each other and with their peers, do not like school and may leave the family.
Asocial families. These are, rather, not families, but a temporary shelter for
children who are not welcome here, not loved and not accepted. Parents in these families, as a rule, lead an immoral lifestyle. The influence of such parents on children
can only be extremely negative.
There is no doubt that the content and orientation of each of the presented
models of family education are formed as a result of the interaction of many factors.
It is most important for us to consider those that have a negative impact on the formation of a family educational environment. On this basis, social educators have
identified several of the most common reasons for this.
1. Pedagogical failure of parents. Raising children is one of the most difficult
areas of human activity. However, the vast majority of parents begin this very responsible task without having any pedagogical ideas about it. But since the parents
themselves were raised in the family, in kindergarten, at school, they have illusions of
awareness. About this paradox, K.D. Ushinsky wrote: “The art of education has the
peculiarity that almost everyone seems familiar and understandable, and sometimes
even easy and the more understandable and easier it seems, the less a person is familiar with it theoretically or practically.”
2. Another reason is cruel, barbaric methods of education, as a result of which
children begin to fear, hate, and despise their parents and escape from them by any
means. Here communication (if it once existed) is already replaced by complete alienation and hostility. One of the central newspapers published quite modern — for
all its incredibleness — the results of a survey of seven thousand schoolchildren from
the third to the tenth grade in fifteen cities of the country. It turned out that 60% of
parents use physical punishment. In 9%, standing in a corner on knees, peas, broken
bricks is used, in 5% — blows to the face, head and other parts of the body.
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3. The next reason is paradoxically the opposite of what was just indicated —
the creation of an idol in the family, usually in the person of an only child. Appeased,
kissed, caressed. Moody and whiny. And as a result — self-centered and shamelessly
indifferent.
One or another variant of the influence of certain factors on the formation of a
family education model is not at all a fatal dominant. If parents can psychologically
and pedagogically competently — themselves or with the help of a teacher, consultant psychologist or school social educator — understand the current situation, then
overcoming negative factors is possible, which will make it possible to transform a
flawed model into a prosperous one.
A conscious attitude towards upbringing in the family is also required from
children. This is due to the fact that it includes the gradual development of their responsibility for the family microclimate. In this regard, A.S. Makarenko quite right-
fully denied the sacrifice of parents and the “authority” of a kind of tyrannical love on
their part, when they do not demand spiritual compensation from their children for
their parental dedication. The positive position of parents is as necessary for normal
upbringing as the position of children. This is what makes it possible to form rational
relationships in the family, which positively influence the effectiveness of family education.
Types of rational educational relationships in the family
The first and main one is the reasonable organization of the family. Common
prospects, joint activities, certain household responsibilities, traditions of mutual assistance, joint decisions, common interests and hobbies serve as fertile soil for the
growth and development of sprouts of internal relationships between parents and
children.
In the collective life of a family, it is possible to most successfully create circumstances in the educational process that reinforce verbal demands. However, it
should be borne in mind that they do not always coincide with life. They often have
to be created despite life circumstances. For example, a family can partially free a
teenage girl from household chores, since the family has an able-bodied grandmother.
However, in this case, the responsibilities of the grandmother and granddaughter
should be distributed in such a way that the girl feels the need for her help and considers it absolutely obligatory for herself.
Children expect their parents to take a deep, close interest in their inner world,
taking into account their age and individual characteristics. In this regard, it should be
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taken into account that age-related characteristics are anatomical, physiological and
psychological developmental characteristics characteristic of a particular age period.
And by the individuality of children we mean the significant originality of their basic
personal properties and qualities.
A rational approach to children also requires parents to have pedagogical tact,
taking into account the life experience of their pupils, their emotional state, a subtle
and leisurely analysis of the motives of behavior and individual actions, and a sensitive, soft touch to the inner world of a person. A sense of tact should tell parents how
to hide the nakedness of direct educational influence. After all, it is well known that
children do not like to feel like an object of education. And therefore, communication, joint activities, common aspirations become the most natural process of education.
It is rational to use the pedagogical opportunities of children’s hobbies in intrafamily relationships with children. But this path also involves something else —
involving children in their own activities and hobbies. In some families there is a
rule: he must be able to do some of the objects and things a person needs for life. So,
for a father and son, an ordinary storage room becomes a carpentry or metalworking
workshop. From time to time it is converted into a darkroom. Just by looking at their
parents, you can recognize their children as future designers, tourists, athletes, amateur artists, collectors, etc.
Thus, each family can develop a diverse system of establishing and strengthening connections between parents and children — from parents to children and from
children to parents. However, a very important role in family education also belongs
to the child’s own efforts for personal development and improvement — selfeducation.
Self-education of children in the family
It should be immediately noted that the basis of self-education of children is
the principle of proactive reflection in a person’s mind of those actions and deeds
that one is going to perform, the definition of those traits and qualities that they intend to develop in themself. If such a “mental program” is formed in the child’s mind,
then it encourages them to take practical actions to implement it and creates incentives for the manifestation of volitional efforts. That is why, when children have a
need to eliminate certain shortcomings in their character or behavior, it is important
for parents to help them set a clear goal and justify the need to achieve it.
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Modern pedagogy has developed practical recommendations in this regard.
Some of them were formulated in the works of A.I. Kochetov27. In connection with
the problem under consideration, the author proposes to proceed from certain parameters for assessing the self-education of children, the main ones of which they
considers:
- the direction of self-education, i.e. the child’s motives in their own work on
personal self-improvement;
- the content of self-education, which determines the sphere of personal self-
improvement — mental, physical, aesthetic, religious, complex, etc.;
- sustainability of self-education — random, episodic or constant personal self-
improvement;
- the effectiveness of self-education — the completeness and quality of the influence of educational work on oneself on the formed or improved properties and
qualities of the child’s personality.
In order to assist their own children in solving the problems of self-education,
the appropriate pedagogical work of parents is important. A lot here depends on
how competent they are in matters of self-education technology, to what extent they
are familiar with scientific and popular literature on this issue, and how responsible
they are in fulfilling their educational responsibilities in the family. In the most gen-
eral form, the content of this work can be considered in three main areas:
- formation in children of a stable belief about the need and benefits of self-
education in personal self-improvement;
- assisting children in understanding the essence of self-education, its methods
and ways of implementation;
- providing practical assistance in developing a self-education program, peda-
gogical support in the process of its implementation.
Special studies show that for most parents, the most difficult task solved within
each of the presented areas is helping children choose the most effective methods of
self-education for them. Its solution is impossible without understanding their pedagogical essence. In this regard, we will dwell on their listing and the most general
pedagogical characteristics.
Method of self-persuasion. Its essence lies in the fact that a child, having identified their personal shortcomings on their own or with the help of their parents,
forms in their mind an internal attitude towards the need to eliminate them. At the
same time, it is not enough to limit yourself only to mental self-conviction. It be-
27
Кочетов А.И. Как заниматься самовоспитанием / А.И. Кочетов. 3-е изд. доп. и перераб. Мн.:
Вышэйш. шк., 1991. С. 187.
345
comes much more effective when the child pronounces out loud those actions that
help eliminate the deficiency.
The self-hypnosis method involves the child influencing their own psyche, suggesting to themself how they will behave or what actions they will not do. The effectiveness of self-hypnosis is determined by the fact that, having gained a foothold at
the subconscious level, it determines the child’s behavior.
Self-commitment. The main essence of this method is that the child, having set
out to overcome one or another personal defect, takes on a certain obligation. To
more firmly consolidate it in the mind, it is also advisable to pronounce it out loud.
As a result, self-commitment will encourage the child to achieve the intended goal
and contribute to the formation of appropriate personality traits.
The method of self-criticism assumes that the child, with the help of their parents or independently, objectively analyzes the results of their activities or actions,
evaluates their appropriateness and, if necessary, provides themself with conditions to
prevent their repetition.
The method of empathy (mentally transferring oneself to the position of another
person). This method is very good when it comes to developing in a child responsiveness to people and a desire for mutual assistance. Its essence lies in the fact that
in the process of self-education, one develops positive qualities in themself and overcomes negative ones, putting themself in the position of the person interacting with
them, empathizing with their feelings, and thus encouraging themself to selfimprovement.
Self-coercion. This method is used in cases where the child has determined certain rules, norms of their behavior, but does not show sufficient willpower to comply
with this rule. Therefore, this method is also applicable for developing the necessary
volitional qualities.
The effectiveness of a child’s solution to self-education tasks is usually
judged by two main criteria:
1. The presence and level of formation of social qualities and, above all, such
as responsibility, dignity, individuality, social activity, independence, firmness of
views and beliefs.
2. The level of mental development of the child, which allows them to manage
their own behavior and activities. The ability to think about one’s actions and manage
them is an essential and important sign of the personal formation of a growing and
developing person.
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The implementation of the considered theoretical principles of pedagogical
problems of family education will be more effective when these activities are coordinated with the pedagogical efforts of the school and public organizations.
Coordination of teaching activities of families,
schools and community organizations
Solving the problems of coordinating the pedagogical efforts of the leading
subjects of public education of the younger generation (family, school, municipal and
public organizations) is carried out in the following areas.
- Coordination of plans for the educational work of the school’s teaching staff,
parent committees, community councils at the place of residence, clubs, libraries, stadiums, law enforcement agencies, health care and trusteeship authorities with a clear
distribution of the functions of each of these subjects of the educational process.
- Organization, through the efforts of the school, of systematic training of parents and members of the public in the theory and practice of educational work with
children in the context of families, municipal and public organizations.
- Thorough study and joint discussion of the progress and results of educational
work, identifying the causes of detected deficiencies and implementing joint
measures to eliminate them.
The school carries out the main part of its work with parents through parent associations of various forms — committees, councils, congresses, associations, societies, etc. Each of them has its own charter (regulations, regulations), which determines the main directions of activity, rights and responsibilities of participants in educational process. The key requirement of the “family-school” complex is to ensure
parental control over all, including educational, areas of school activity.
One of the main tasks of parent associations remains the organization and implementation of universal pedagogical education. Lectures, round tables, conferences,
parent schools and many other forms of pedagogical education implemented in recent
years help those parents who want to better understand their child, correctly organize
the process of communication with them, help in solving difficult issues, and overcome a state of conflict. To this end, many committees allocate funds for the purchase of pedagogical literature for parents and support the publication and distribution of popular pedagogical newspapers and magazines.
The main burden of ensuring a real connection between family and school falls
on the shoulders of the class teacher. They organize their activities through the parent
committee, meetings, and also through teachers working in a given class. An im-
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portant part of the practical activities of the class teacher is regular personal visits to
students at home, studying their living conditions on site, agreeing and coordinating
joint measures with parents to strengthen educational interaction with children, and
prevent undesirable pedagogical effects of education. Consequently, the traditional
function of pedagogical interaction between the class teacher and the parents of students remains the educational function.
Thus, the instinct of kinship, the “voice of blood,” is intensely manifested
when parents and children are humanly close to each other, connected by ties of not
only kinship, but also spiritual closeness. This is an important prerequisite for a successful educational process in the family, penetration into the inner world of children
and successful interaction with them. At the same time, each age period creates special opportunities for strengthening and developing internal connections with children. Only if they are present, the requirements and wishes of parents become moral
criteria for their behavior for children. In this case, children arise and develop the
need to consult with their parents, mentally put themselves in their place in difficult
life situations, look up to them, and follow their instructions. This is what ensures the
effectiveness of family education.
Questions and tasks for self-testing of knowledge
1. Based on a comparative analysis of general and family education, determine
the specific features of the latter.
2. How do the existing relationships between parents and children influence the
formation and resolution of conflicts in family education?
3. Which of the typical reactions of a child can manifest themselves in an au-
thoritarian, democratic and liberal style of family education?
4. Identify and justify the relationship of methods and means of family educa-
tion with its principles and rules.
5. Assess the possibility of implementing the studied types of rational educa-
tional relationships between parents and children in models of family relationships.
Additional literature
1. Бороздина, Г.В. Психология и педагогика : учебник для бакалавров /
Г.В. Бороздина. — 2-е изд., испр. и доп. — Москва : Юрайт, 2016. — 477 с.
2. Психология и педагогика: в 2 ч. Ч. 2: педагогика : учебник для академического бакалавриата / под общей редакцией В.А. Сластенина,
В.П. Каширина. — Москва : Юрайт, 2016. — 374 с.
348
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Н.В. Бордовская, С.И. Розум. — Санкт-Петербург : Питер, 2014. — 624 с.
2. Бороздина, Г.В. Психология и педагогика : учебник для бакалавров /
Г.В. Бороздина. — 2-е изд., испр. и доп. — Москва : Юрайт, 2016. — 477 с.
3. Вигман, С.Л. Педагогика в вопросах и ответах : учебное пособие /
С.Л. Вигман. — Москва : ТК Велби, 2014. — 208 с.
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5. Кочетов, А.И. Как заниматься самовоспитанием / А.И. Кочетов. — 3-е изд.,
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