II. Dicsussion

Share your view with your group mates

Have you ever been in situations when you experience pressure from other people? Did you go along with what people think what you should do? Why? Please, describe this situation. Who were the people in this situation? What kind of decision did you have to make? Why did pressure from those people influence your decision?

Interesting quotations

• Character is the result of a system of stereotyped principals.

D. Hume

• The man who follows a crowd will never be followed by a crowd.

R. Donnel

• It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinions; it is easy in solitude to live after your own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.

R. Emmerson

Supplementary reading. The self and thinking

How one feels about himself affects not only the content of his thinking but the way he thinks. A person who has a positive self-concept tends to spend more time thinking about his good qualities and his success experiences, whereas a person with an essentially negative self-concept spends more time thinking of his failures in life and his inadequacies as a person.

There is also evidence that how one feels about himself is related to how effectively he thinks. People who don’t like themselves tend to have difficulties in solving problems effectively, whereas people who feel good about themselves tend to be much more effective in problem-solving.

People who feel inadequate tend to think more rigidly; they tend to think in terms of black and white or good and bad, rather than in shades of gray. People who feel good about themselves also are able to tolerate complex or ambiguous (неопределенный) situations. People who do not feel good about themselves cannot tolerate ambiguity; they have a need for an immediate answer to a problem. People who feel comfortable can bring new and unique ideas into their thoughts about a problem situation. They are much more creative and far more apt to come out with original ideas.

Thus, man’s view of himself whether accurate or not, can serve either as facilitators (стимулятор) or inhibitors (тормоз) of effective thinking. It seems, as suggested by Freud, that we must come to terms with our inner selves before we can hope to develop the thinking competences necessary for living well in a complex social and physical world. Whenever our intellectual energies are freed from our inner turmoil (беспорядок), they can be turned to the problems of living life instead of being manipulated by life.

Are you happy being you?

There are times when each and every one of us looks in the mirror and wishes that somebody completely different was staring back. But what about the rest of the time? Do our quiz and find out if you're happy being you!

1If someone criticizes you, do you usually:

a) feel very sorry for yourself?

b) listen to what they're saying before you reply?

c) start defending yourself?

2Back to that mirror. Study your full-length reflection in it and then tick which parts of you you'd change if you had half a chance:

a) nose e) teeth i) legs

b) mouth f) skin j) height

с) eyes g) tummy k) chest/bust

d) ears h) bottom l) feet

3If a member of the opposite sex asked you out, would you be:

a) surprised but pleased and flattered?

b) hardly surprised? After all, you are the best looking person!

c) absolutely amazed that they should choose you?

4What quality do you look for in a best friend?

a) A sense of humour?

b) Someone you can tell your troubles to?

c) Someone who thinks you are brilliant?

5When you are with a group of people, how would you describe yourself?

a) The leader of the pack?

b) One of the crowd?

c) The odd one out?

6If you were feeling depressed, would you:

a) talk to someone about it?

b) go and take some exercise?

c) sit around and feel miserable?

What's your score?

1. a) 0 b) 5 с) 10

2.Score one point for every letter you didn't tick.

3. a) 5 b) 10 с) 0

4. a) 5 b) 0 с) 10

5. a) 10 b) 5 с) 0

6. a) 5 b) 10 с) 0

0-20:

Come on, you can't be that bad ... no one is! You have a very low opinion of yourself and, if you don't change soon, you'll spend your whole life feeling unhappy and envious of your friends instead of having a laugh and enjoying being with them. Take another look in that mirror and smile! You and everything around you will look better immediately!

21-40:

You're realistic about yourself and realize that you can't be the centre of attention the whole time. That makes you a very good friend to have around. Don't worry about your appearance. Nobody's perfect!!

41-62:

You are self-confident and have a high regard for yourself. You also like to be at the centre of things and have lots of friends. Be careful about becoming too big-headed though. If you do, you'll regret it!