190 Unit 3: Brief Business Messages

Level 3: Document Critique

The following email message (an initial inquiry to a firm that designs and builds corporate websites) may contain errors in grammar, punctuation, capitalization, abbreviation, number style, vocabulary, and spelling. You will also find errors related to topics in this chapter. For example, consider the organization and relevance of material as you improve this routine request for information. As your instructor indicates, photocopy this page and correct all errors using standard proofreading marks (see Appendix C) or download the document and make the corrections in your word processing software.

To Whom it may concern.

We need a new website. One that offers all the whizzy new social media apabilities plus ful e/commerce ordering & retailing function.

I am seeing your name in the fine print of a few nice looking sights. So I wanted to get more info on you people and find out about costs, schedules, info needs from us, etc., etc., etc. What it will take to get this new thing up and running, inother words. We also need to know what you plan to do about our “visual” appearance on the website— as in—how will you design a site that screams “good values found here” without looking cheap and shoddy like some discount/retail webbsites are

My name is Gloria MacPherson, and I am in charge of Marketing and sales department here at Midwest Liquidators. I’ve been with the Company since 2003; before that I was with Costco; before that I was with Sears.

Part of my analysis of outsiders like you will depend on how fast you respond to this query, just to let you know.

Sincerely.

Gloria

References

1.Warren E. Buffett, Preface to A Plain English Handbook, U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission website, accessed 4 July 2010, www.sec.gov.

2.“How to Write Reference Letters,” National Association of Colleges and Employers website, accessed 5 July 2010, www.naceweb.org; “Five (or More) Ways You Can Be Sued for Writing (or Not Writing) Reference Letters,” Fair Employment Practices Guidelines, July 2006, 1, 3.

3.Fraser P. Seitel, The Practice of Public Relations, 9th ed. (Upper Saddle River, N.J.: Prentice Hall, 2004), 402–411;

Techniques for Communicators (Chicago: Lawrence Ragan Communication, 1995), 34, 36.

4.David Meerman Scott, The New Rules of Marketing and PR (Hoboken, N.J.: Wiley, 2007), 62.

5.PitchEngine website, accessed 10 June 2012, www

.pitchengine.com; Shel Holz, “Next-Generation Press Releases,” CW Bulletin, September 2009, www.iabc.com; Steph Gray, “Baby Steps in Social Media News Releases,” Helpful Technology blog, 15 May 2009, http://blog

.helpfultechnology.com.

6.Derek Sivers, “The Most Successful Email I Ever Wrote,” Business Insider, 6 June 2012, www.businessinsider.com.

7.Pat Cataldo, “Op-Ed: Saying ‘Thank You’ Can Open More Doors Than You Think,” Penn State University Smeal College of Business website, accessed 19 February 2008, www.smeal.psu.edu.

8.Jackie Huba, “Five Must-Haves for Thank-You Notes,” Church of the Customer Blog, 16 November 2007, www

.churchofthecustomer.com.

9.Adapted from Keith H. Hammonds, “Difference Is Power,” Fast Company, 36, 258, accessed 11 July 2000, www

.fastcompany.com; Terri Morrison, Wayne Conaway, and George A. Borden, Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands (Avon, Mass.: Adams Media Corp., 1994), 1–5.

10.Adapted from Tom Abate, “Need to Preserve Cash Generates Wave of Layoffs in Biotech Industry,” San Francisco Chronicle, 10 February 2003, accessed 18 July 2005, www.sfgate.com.

11.Adapted from Lisa DiCarlo, “IBM Gets the Message— Instantly,” Forbes.com, 7 July 2002, www.forbes.com; “IBM Introduces Breakthrough Messaging Technology for Customers and Business Partners,” M2 Presswire, 19 February

2003, www.proquest.com; “IBM and America Online Team for Instant Messaging Pilot,” M2 Presswire, 4 February 2003, www.proquest.com.

12.CES website, accessed 11 June 2012, www.cesweb.org; Darren Murph, “CES 2012 Sets All-Time Records for Attendance, Exhibitors and Claimed Floor Space,” Engadget, 13 January 2012, www.engadget.com.

13.Adapted from SolarCity website, accessed 11 June 2012, www.solarcity.com.

14.Adapted from Hot Stix Golf website, accessed 11 June 2012, www.hotstixgolf.com.

8

MyBCommLab®

ImproveYour Grade!

Over 10 million students improved their results using the Pearson MyLabs.

Visit mybcommlab.com for simulations, tutorials, and end-of- chapter problems.

Writing Negative Messages

LEARNING OBJECTIVES

After studying this chapter, you will be able to

1 Apply the three-step writing process to negative messages.

2Explain how to use the direct approach effectively when conveying negative news.

3Explain how to use the indirect approach effectively when conveying negative news and explain how to avoid ethical problems when using this approach.

4Describe successful strategies for sending negative messages on routine business matters.

5Describe successful strategies for sending negative employment-related messages.

6List the important points to consider when conveying negative organizational news.

7Describe an effective strategy for responding to negative information in a social media environment.

Media expert Matt Rhodes advises clients to establish strong relationships with their audiences

before the need to convey negative messages ever arises.

Matt Rhodes

Communicating during a serious crisis is a challenge that relatively few managers will ever face, but every manager and many employees must convey negative information from time to time. Sharing unwelcome news is never pleasant, but it must be done, and learning how to do it with tact and sensitivity will make the task easier for you as a writer and easier for the recipients of your messages, too.

As Matt Rhodes of the London-based social media agency FreshNetworks suggests, your relationship with the audience is a crucial factor in the delivery of negative messages. For example, social media tools can be effective for communicating negative news and responding to crises and complaints, but they work best when you have already established a meaningful relationship with your stakeholders.1

Using the Three-Step Writing Process for Negative Messages

Delivering negative information is rarely easy and never enjoyable, but with some helpful guidelines, you can craft messages that minimize negative reactions. When you need to deliver bad news, you have five goals: (1) to convey the bad news, (2) to gain acceptance for it, (3) to maintain as much goodwill as possible with your audience, (4) to maintain a good image for your organization, and (5) if appropriate, to reduce or eliminate the need for future correspondence on the matter. Accomplishing all five goals requires careful attention to planning, writing, and completing your message.

Step 1: Planning Negative Messages

When you need to convey negative news, you can’t avoid the fact that your audience does not want to hear what you have to say. To minimize the damage to business relationships and to encourage the acceptance of your message, plan carefully. With a clear purpose and your audience’s needs in mind, gather the information your audience will need in order to understand and accept your message.

Selecting the right medium is critical. For instance, experts advise that bad news for employees be delivered in person whenever possible, both to show respect for the employees and to give them an opportunity to ask questions. Of course, delivering bad news is never easy, and an increasing number of managers appear to be using email and other electronic media to convey negative messages to employees.2

Finally, the organization of a negative message requires particular care. One of the most critical planning decisions is choosing whether to use the direct or indirect approach (see Figure 8.1). A negative message using the direct approach opens with the bad news, proceeds to the reasons for the situation or decision, offers any additional information that may help the audience, and ends with a positive statement aimed at maintaining a good relationship with the audience. In contrast, the indirect approach opens with a buffer (see page197), then builds up the reasons behind the bad news before presenting the bad news itself.

1 LEARNING OBJECTIVE

Apply the three-step writing process to negative messages.

Five goals of negative messages:

■Give the bad news.

■Encourage its acceptance.

■Maintain reader’s goodwill.

■Maintain organization’s good image.

■Manage the volume of future correspondence on the matter.

Careful planning is necessary to avoid alienating your readers.

Choose the medium with care when preparing negative messages.

The appropriate message organization helps readers accept your negative news.

Use the direct approach when your negative answer or information will have minimal personal impact; consider the indirect approach for more serious matters.