Imagery in Translation
T
he
poem chosen as the taskfor
translation,
Поэзш
one
of the most famous works by Tutchev. Its form
places
it am the
lyrical miniatures, or so called "gnomic
poetry,"
of
wt
Tutchev
was very fond due to the nature of
his
talent and
to
education
and life experience, as well as his
close relations
with German poetic tradition.
Task for comparison: Silentium!
SILENTIUM!
Молчи, скрывайся и таи И чувства и мечты свои — Пускай в душевной глубине Встают и заходят оне Безмолвно, как звезды в ночи, — Любуйся ими — и молчи.
Как сердцу высказать себя? Другому как понять тебя? Поймет ли он, чем ты живешь? Мысль изреченная есть ложь. Взрывая, возмутишь ключи, — Питайся ими — и молчи.
Лишь жить в себе самом умей — Есть целый мир в душе твоей Таинственно-волшебных дум; .. . .
Их оглушит наружный шум, Дневные разгонят лучи, — Внимай их пенью — и молчи!..
1
Владимир Соловьев. Поэзия Ф. И. Тютчева/
В. Соловьев. Чтения о
богочеловечестве. Статьи. - СПб.: Худ.
литература, 1994.
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0 —~~
Практикум
по художественному переводу
nslation by Vladimir Nabokov:
Speak not, lie hidden and-conceal The way you dream, the things you feel. Deep in your spirit let them rise Akin to stars in crystal skies That set before the night is blurred: Delight in them — and speak no word.
How can a heart expression find? How should another know your mind? Will he discern what quickens you? A thought once uttered is untrue. Dimmed is the fountainhead when stirred: Drink at the source — and speak no word.
Live in your inner self alone. Within your soul a world has grown, The magic of veiled thoughts that might Be blinded by the outer light, Drowned in the noise of day, unheard... Take in their song — and speak no word.
nslation by Francis Cornford:
Be silent, hide yourself and let Your dreams and longings rise and set In the recesses of your heart; Your dearest treasures, held apart, Your stars, that in the deep of night Entrance your spirit with delight.
How can the heart expression find, Or one man read another's mind, Another know what you live by? A thought when spoken is a lie. And if you stir, you cloud the well. Feed on your dreams, and so be still.
Imagery in Translation
L
ive
in yourself. There is a whole
Deep world of being in your soul —
Of thought on strange enchanted thought,
And blinded by the daylight glare,
Their song would cease. Oh, hush! Oh, hear!
Translated by Irina Zheleznova:
Seal thou thy lips, to none apart
The thoughts and dreams that fill thy heart.
There they'll flare up, there sjnk and die
As do the stars up in the sky
When o'er the earth night's shadows creep...
Take joy in them — and silent keep.
No secret of the soul begot
With others canst thou share, for what
Are thoughts, once voiced, but common lies.
Churn up a stream, and silt will rise
And darken it... Drink, drink thou deep
Of waters clear — and silent keep.
Live in the world of self— thy soul Contains of magic thought a whole Bright universe... The noise of day And daylight are its foes... Easy To banish these; if joy thou'd reap, Hear thy heart's song — and silent keep!
EXERCISES FOR COMPARISON
Read more about Fyodor Tutchev and more of his poetry.
Compare this poem with other poetical works by Tutchev.
Analyse the metrical and rhythmical pattern of the poem, its stanza pattern and the rhyme scheme.
8
3
Практикум
по художественному переводу
Analyse the stylistic features of the Russian text to re construct its imagery.
Identify symbolic elements in the poem and determine their role in the general impression produced by the text.
Leo Tolstoy rated this poem among the best Russian po etry of his choice and marked it with the note «Глубина!» If you agree with him, give your own reasons.
In what way does this poem differ from the English poet ic tradition?
Translate this poem into English word for word.
Reconstruct a metrical-rhythmical basis for the English version of the text.
Choose rhymes for the English version.
Connect the translated text, the metrical basis and the rhyme scheme into one whole text.
Analyse the results, identifying the losses or extra ele ments, if any, in the translated text.
Work on polishing the style of the English version.
Compare your translation with the three English variants. Make comments.
Task for translation: Поэзия
ПОЭЗИЯ
Среди громов, среди огней, Среди клокочущих страстей, В стихийном, пламенном раздоре, Она с небес слетает к нам — Небесная — к земным сынам, С лазурной ясностью во взоре, И на бунтующее море Льет примирительный елей.