Tsaturova_Kashirina_-_Perevodcheskiy_analiz_texta

Часть 111. Практика переВодческого анализа, перевода и редактирования...

ТЕКСТ 6*

WНУ 1 HUNT

(А Predator's Meditation)

Ьу Rick Bass

ln the fall, it's what 1 want to do. It would Ье unnatural and dishonest to sit on ту hands; I'т а hunter, а predator (in the fall), with eyes in front of ту head, like а bear's or а wolfs or even an owl's. Prey have their eyes on the sides of their heads, in order to see in all directions, in order to Ье ready to run. But predators - and that's us, or at least sоте of us - have our eyes before us, out in front, with

which to focus to а single point.

For two тonths of the year - or until 1 have killed one deer and one elk - that's what 1 do. 1 want to Ье out in the woods, walking quietly, walking slowly, or not walking at all but just sitting in sоте leaves, coтpletely hidden and тotionless- waiting, and waiting. То not pursue the thing one wants would Ье а waste of one's life.

ln the fall, 1 can do things 1 couldn't do in ту norтal, civilized life. 1 can disappear into the woods, and over the next

тountain the next ridge. Му roaтing has тeaning- it's no longer ju~t roaтing, but hunting. The year's теаt supply is in

question. Му теаt, ту faтily's теаt - not sоте rancher's heifer froт Minnesota. Meat froт ту valley, where 1 hope to live and die - where 1 cut firewood, where 1 pick huckleberries,

where 1 walk where 1 watch the stars- ту valley.

For those 'two тonths, 1 ат after soтething: soтething

tangiЬle, soтething that's тoving away froт те, and soтet­

hing that 1 тust have for the coтing year. lt's as siтple as

that.

Over the next ridge. The new life of stores and towns falls away, and the old life returns. There's а loveliness. to looking ahead - looking straight ahead - that only huntшg brings out.

ТЕМА 10

The other ten тonths are okay, too- 1 can Ье the artist, can loll around eating grapes and reading poetry, but the fall сотеs like а splash of water to ту face on а hot, dusty day; and the dust, and ту new ways, new feelings - the ones bound Ьу rules - are washed away, leaving the old ways revealed.

1 keep eating those lovely candlelit dinners - grouse and potatoes, and the red, alтost purple heartthrob steaks froт elk; fried trout for breakfast, and hотетаdе huckleЬerry

about а pound and а half of теаt а day. The cancer studies for this kind of diet alarт те, but 1 have to trust that they apply to fatty steroid beef, and cattle that тust have been raised in pesticide fields. 1 was seven тiles into the тoun­ tains when 1 shot last year's elk, and 1 carried hiт out in three trips over а twenty-four-hour period.

lnto those sате dark woods 1 go each year, looking straight ahEщd, and stopping and listening and turning ту head....

Of course, it's possiЬle that there's а greater life force that judges us; and of course, soтetiтes 1 feel guilty about being а hunter, а killer - а killer of deer and elk, though not тооsе, because they're too easy, and not bears, Ьecause

... well, bears theтselves are тeant to hunt. During part of the year they're predators, not prey. It seeтs unnatural to hunt predators.

I'т scared, soтetiтes, that all the aniтals I've killed - few as they are - add up, and that I'т liaЬle for theт.

1 wouldn't тind paying for theт with ту life soтeday­ we тust all give up our lives - but soтetiтes 1 get scared 1 тау have to рау afterward, in the afterlife, for ту gluttony, ту insatiaЬle hunger for clean теаt, and so тuch of it. Nonetheless, l've studied it, and have соте up with this: 1 ат who 1 ат, and I've соте froт the place we all

the past - but 1 still rететЬеr, and love, that

159

Часть 111. Практика переВодческого анализа, переВода и редактироВания...

place. Some of us are glad to Ье away from that place, but I'm not one of those people - not in the fall.

The worst day 1 ever had hunting was when 1 shot an elk in the neck, where 1 was aiming, but it made me feel strangely ashamed after it was over. 1 broke the elk's neck, the way 1 always try to dothat instant dropbut he groaned when 1 walked up to him. Не couldn't have been feeling anything, and 1 hope it was just air leaving his lungs - but it was still а groan.

For а fact - or rather, for me - hunting's better than killing. lt takes а while after it's over - sometimes а long while before you can think of it as meat. You can't go straight from а living animal to 250 pounds of elk steaks. There's too much knife and ах work involvedand you're the one who has to do it - skinning the animal, and pulling the hide back to reveal your crime, the meatand already, sometimes, the call of ravens drifting in Ьlack-winged shapes flying through the treetops, past the sun ....

lnstead of trying to make that instantaneous conversion - which 1 cannot dolife to meatwhat 1 do is pray, sort of. 1 give heartfelt, shaky thanks to the animal as 1 clean it -

always - with fish. А man or woman who apologizes for hunting is а fool. lt's а man's or а woman's choice and he or she must live with it.

1 don't do it for profit or gain, and rarely do 1 tell anyone about it after I've done it.

1 watch ravens in the off-season. 1 think ravens have more of а soul than humans - and 1 think ravens understand the hunt better than 1 ever will. Sometimes ravens, in Alaska, lead hunterswolves, or humansto prey, and then they eat the pickings from the kill.

Ravens, Ьlack as coal, -shiny and greasy, flying in the sun, like winged, Ьlack devils ... 1 feel as if I'm on their side, and it scares me, but it would Ье а lie in the fall to

160

ТЕМА 10

switch sides: to pretend that I'm not. I'm а killer, sometimes. 1 wish 1 weren't, but 1 am. I've wrestled with it but 1 can't escape it, any more than until death - one can escape one's skin.

Rick Bass lives in Мontana ·

ТЕКСТ 7*

DEEP IN DOMESTICIТY

J effrey Bernard

1 can't for the life of me understand why some people are so hell-bent on stopping others from doing what they want to do. lf 1 choose to close up my arteries with nicotine and then open them up again with vodka that is my business and 1 will. But apart from ASH1 there is now an organisation called Action on Alcohol Abuse which is worried about the fact that 25,000 people die from drinking every year. What else should they die from? Eating? 1 really would like to Ье left alone Ьу organisations. ААА also says that 50 per cent of domestic murders are committed Ьу people when they are drunk. Well, of course they are. The other 50 per cent are probaЬly committed Ьу supporters of ААА. You don't have to Ье drunk to behave like а pig.

And 1 know about domestic murder. 1 lived with а girl once who tried to murder me. She used to burn the toast, insist on following me to the races and she was very much into sighing2• You know, deep heavy sighs that make you wonder just what the hell you've done. The Guilt Machine, 1 used to call her. She once even came to the Coach and Horses and stood in the doorway looking reproachfully at

1 Action on Smoking and Health - an organisation that actively campaigns against smoking.

2 То Ье into something means to Ье very fond of something or (almost) addicted to something. For example, one can Ье into jazz or into health foods. То Ье into sighing is, of course, а joke on the part of the writer.

161

Часть 111. Практика переВодческого анализа, перевода и редактироiЗания...

те. She didn't come inside, she just stood there and dabbed an еуе with а handkerchief. She had another sort of sigh as well, much shorter and harder. That was the aggressive sigh and а nasty noise it was too. Such а terriЬle waste of а lovely body. Whoever it is who is responsiЬle for putting the right brains into the right bodies really screws up sometimes. She was а dancer and l've noticed that dancers tend to Ье а little daft. I mean it's а funny thing to do, isn't it? I don't think it's natural. If you were with someone and they suddenly got up on their points, flung their arms in the air and then began to tiptoe through the tulips1 you'd send for а doctor or throw а bucket of cold water over them, wouldn't you? But this girl used to do her barre exercises at the ironing board. "Just iron the Ьloody_ shirt," I'd say and she would with а tremendous sigh. Well, she had to go and she did. She got а job dancing in Beirut.

Another attempt was made on my life Ьу а girl who would keep telling me how very wonderful her ex-boyfriend was. Such romancing. She made him sound like St George gone to work for an advertising agency. And yet there is no organisation bent on saving us from being bored to death. It so happens that neither of those two women would have been so boring if they had taken the odd swig from the ublquitous bottle. I sometimes wonder, now that I'm an ех, if she tells her current chap how wonderful I was. ProbaЬly not. I threw her too many wintry smiles to make her drop her gaze. It's surprising how nasty you can make а smile if you want to.

I got so good at it eventually that I could look her in the еуе . and make her look at the floor in five seconds. So I don't think she is referring to me as Mister Wonderful at the moment.

Which reminds me. Something rather odd; I got chatting with а Ьloke in а pub the other day and I'd never met him before. One thing led to another and he started telling me

1 Tiptoe through the tulips is the name of а popular song.

162

ТЕМА 10

about his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend. After а minute or two it dawned on me that he was talking about me. It sounded really awful, from smoking in bed first thing in the morning to disappearing to Newmarket for а week with all the housekeeping money. Of course I was fascinated and I led this Ьloke on getting more and more information about me. Apparently, apart from smoking, racing and drinking, I have an ungovernaЬle temper, fall asleep in restaurants dr eat Indian takeaways in bed, snore and wear the same polo-neck jersey for days on end. Well, it's news to me although I must admit I did once wake up one morning to find some curry in one of my shoes. Anyway I left this man none the wiser. But who needs an agent or PR with ex-girlfriends like that. All I can say to ААА is that the majority of attempted domestic murders are committed Ьу people addicted to instant coffee. That is the evil we must fight.

ТЕКСТ 8*

GLOBAL ЕСОNОМУ AND HUMAN RIGHTS

Мary Roblnson

UN Higher Commissioner for Нитап Rights

Coming to grips with the impact of an increasingly global economy on the enjoyment of human rights is no easy task. There has been too little research to assist our understanding of the role of globalization generally, and trade liberalization specifically in the implementation of human rights standards.

Despite the lack of data, the links between trade, development, and human rights are increasingly plain to see - from the impact of open markets on jobs in developed countries to the implementation of labour and environmental standards in developing countries, from the question of trade-

163

Часть 111. Практика переводческого анализа, перевода и редактирования...

restrictive measures to protect puЬlic health to barriers to full participation Ьу developing countries in the international economic system. These are just some of the difficult issues that must Ье addressed if we are to ensure that the global economy contributes to the realization of аН human rights for all people.

Our point of departure should Ье that trade and economic growth are not ends in themselves. As the Director-General of the World Trade Organization, Mike Moore, has pointed out, the international trading system must contribute to better living standards and а safer world and the WTO should reflect the needs of all its members. The 1994 WTO Agreement incorporates the objectives of higher standards of living, steady growth of real income, full employment, and economic growth patterns compatiЬle with sustainaЬle development. The Agreement's preamЬle proclaims that even the least developed countries will share the benefits of global production and trade in goods.

The theme 1 want to develop in this chapter is that human rights are, indeed, inextricaЬly linked with the international economic system. Human rights provide the common moral and legal underpinnings for the global economy. Ву integrating human rights standards and all aspects of economic policy-making, we will help ensure that markets are not only open and efficient, but also fair and just.

It should Ье recognized that human rights norms and standards are as relevant to the fields of international trade, finance, and investment as to any other area of human activity. The pursuit of equitaЬle development and fair trade are legitimate human rights concerns. In this respect it is important to note that two trends happening in the world are of crucial importance because they both bring а new degree of urgency to addressing the need for the formulation of effective policies in the area of human rights, trade, and development. The first is the growing determination of the international community that human

ТЕМА 10

rights can and should play а central role in the lives of all people and that the mechanisms to deliver а strengthened set of human rights standards should work effectively. The second is the emerging interest that is being taken in improving international financial, trade, and development instruments so that they meet the needs of all of the people on the planet, including the poorest. Recognition of the link between human rights and the international economic system is indeed timely.

ТЕКСТ 9*

TEACHING SCIENTISTS

ТО SEE WITH ТНЕ EYES OF А JOURNALIST

HERE they were, two men with а four-legged, round taЬle on an uneven floor, trying to find а position where it would stand without wobЬling. А familiar proЬlem for many а householder, but could it Ье done, they asked. It could. The taЬle was eventually levelled. The trick was to keep two

Часть 111. Практика переводческого анализа, перевода и редактирования...

opposite legs in contact with the floor all the time and slowly to rotate the taЬle until all four legs stood firmly on the floor.

This was not а re-run of а 1960s Barry Bucknell do-it- yourself programme, but an Open University mathematics programme last week on the "intermediate value theorem". The theorem says that provided you have no steps in the floor you need never resort to pieces of folded cardboard under one leg because there is always а position of no

wobЬle.

Here was an apparently abstract piece of mathematics being demonstrated in such an appealing way that even those who pride themselves on their dislike of maths and science could not have failed to Ье entertained.

So why am I telling you all this? The reason is that I have been having fun pretending to Ье а real journalist with this newspaper as part of а scheme to promote "the puЬlic understanding of science."

Nine individuals - known as media fellows - working as scientists in universities, industry or government departments are spending а few weeks with the press, radio or television to experience the way in which they handle scientific issues. The scheme was set up Ьу the British Association for the Advancement of Science on behalf of COPUS, the Committee on the PuЬlic Understanding of Science.

The media takes а lot of stick from scientists who complain about their work being distorted or misrepresented. Some of this may Ье justified, but the fault does not always lie with the journalist. Michael Kenward, the editor of New Scientist whose idea it was to launch the scheme, thinks there are far too many academics pontificating about the media who do not have а clue about how it works. "It seemed to те," he said, "that the best way to teach scientists about the media was to give them а chance to work alongside journalists."

ТЕМА 10

ТЕКСТ 10

ТНЕ ENGLISH LANGUAGE

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. And while no one knows what is in а hotdog, you can Ье pretty sure it isn't canine.

English muffins were not invented in England nor French fries in France.

~weetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing. rings are square, and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it а pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

Is cheese the plural of choose? One mouse, 2 mice. One louse, 2 lice. One house, 2 hice?

·If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If а vegetarian eats vegetaЬles, what does а humanitarian eat?

Why do people recite at а play, and play at а recital? Ship Ьу truck or car and send cargo Ьу ship? Have noses

that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can а slim chance and а fat chance Ье the same, while а wise man and а wise guy are opposites?

How can the weather Ье hot as heck one day and cold as heck another? When а house burns up, it burns down. You fill in а form Ьу filling it out and an alarm clock goes off Ьу going on. You get' in and out of а car, yet you get on and off

ПРИЛОЖЕНИЯ

на уровне словосочетания: "1 always yelled ту head

off' - Я всегда встряхивал головой вместо орал что

было м.очи;

на уровне предложения: "Виt the oil was of little иsе"­

Но она использовала пе так .много масла вместо От мас­

ла было м.ало толку.

Однако для практических целей Проверки и.оценива­

ния учебньiх переводов представляется неделесообразным

таким образом усложнять и без того достаточно разветв­

ленную классификацию ошибок, тем более что мера отри­

цательного воздействия переводческой ошибки на каче­

ство перевода порой не зависит от уровня языка, на кото­

ром она была допущена. Зачастую неправильный перевод

одного только слова сводит на нет смысл всего текста, тогда как неточный перевод целого предложения или

даже нескольких предложений не наносит значитель­

ного ущерба. Поэтому мера отрицательного воздействия

переводческой ошибки должна оцениваться в масшта­

бах целого текста, с учетом, в числе прочих факторов, и объема текста. То, что в масштабах предложения мо­

жет расцениваться как искажение, в масштабах целого

текста порой приобретает характер незначительной не­

точности.

Неясность отличается от искажения и неточиости тем,

что она оказывает на адресата не столько дезинформиру­ ющее, сколько дезориентирующее воздействие, посколь­

ку адресату не совсем ясно, что имеет в виду автор текста

(в изложении переводчика). Неясность часто возникает в

результате многословия или, напротив, пропуска слов и,

таким образом, тесно связана с недостатками в индивиду­

альном стиле переводчика.

Функционально-нормативные ошибки можно распоз­

нать в процессе чтения перевода, без обращения к ориги­

налу, поскольку они являются ошибками в переводящем

языке. Одни делятся на четыре группы - структурно-

172

ПРИЛОЖЕНИЕ 1

синтаксические (связанные с нарушениями синтаксиче­ ских норм и с недочетами в актуальн·ом членении), нор­

мативно-узуальные (связанные с нарушениями морфоло­

гических, словообразовательных, лексических норм, а так­ же норм сочетае;м:ости), стилистические (обусловленные· нарушениями стилистических норм) и недочеты в инди­ видуальном стиле переводчика (бедность языка, тавтоло­ гии, плеоназмы и пр.).

Мы объединяем нарушения нормы и узуса переводя­ щего языка в одну группу под общим названием норма­ тивно-узуальные ошибки.

Неоспоримо то, что перевод должен соответствовать нор­ ме и узусу переводящего языка. Причем в тексте перевода должна быть сохранена та мера необычности (нормативнос­ тиjненормативности, узуальностиjнеузуальности) средств

языкового выражения, которая соответствует оригиналу.

Однако сами понятия нормы и узуса трактуются неодноз­

начно. Так, Л. К. Латышев и В. И. Провоторов понимают

норму языка как фильтр, который отсеивает такие виды неправильностей, которые имеют абсолютный характер - то, что неправильно всегда, в любой ситуации, в выска­ зывании о любом предмете, а узус описывают как более тонкий фильтр, который «отфильтровывает• высказыва­

ния по относительному ·принципу: уместно - неуместно,

более предпочтительно - менее предпочтительно; при

этом то, что уместно в одной ситуацИи, может оказаться

менее уместным или неуместным в другой. Например, если на рынке уместно спросить: Поче.м ваши огурцы?.

то в ювелирном магазине вопрос: Почем. это бриллиан­

товое колье? прозвучит несколько странно. Таким обра­

зом, Л. К. Латышев и В. И. Провоторов разграничивают

норму и узус, относя норму к .языковым .явлениям! а

С другой стороны, такой выдающийс.я лексиколог, как

И. В. Арнольд, трактует норму скорее как речевое .явле-

ПРИЛОЖЕНИЯ

ние, вовсе не ·рассматривал ее как синщ1им «правильнос­

ТИ>>, а скорее, как синоним традиции, устолвшегосл упот­

реблении. А поскольку слова «узус• и «Usage• следует признать однокоренными, то граница между нормой и узусом стираетсл. Поэтому в чисто практических целлх оцениванил качества учебных переводов представллетсл допустимым не проводить четкой грани между понлтил­ ми нормы и узуса. При этом отпадает необходимость услож­

нить классификацию переводческих ошибок, выделлл

узуальные ошибки в отдельную группу, а приведенный выше пример (Лоче.м. это бриллиантовое колье?) можно отнести к группе нормативно-узуальных нарушений. Сюда

же О',t'Нослтсл также велкого рода нарушении сочетаемос­

ти (см. выше: привести 1f политической и экономической независимости страны).

Стилистические ошибки мы отделлем от недочетов в

индивидуальном стиле переводчика, понимал под стили­

стической ошибкой только нарушение стилистических норм. В свою очередь, под стилистической нормой мы понимаем норму выбора и организации .языковых единиц в тексте определенного стилл. Таким образом, стилисти­ ческал ошибкаэто не что иное как:

а) •смешение стилей•, когда в сугубо официальном тек­

сте документации вдруг полвллетсл разговорное слово

или, к примеру, канцеллрский оборот в тексте романти­ ческой сказки. Пример из воспоминаний К. И. Чуков­

ского: «Один из переводчиков принес в издательство

«Всемирнал литература• такрй перевод романтической сказки: •За неимением красной розы жизнь мол будет разбита•. Когда ему сказали, что канцеллрский оборот «за неимением• неуместен в романтической сказке, пе­

реводчик согласилен и написал по~другому: •Ввиду от­

сутствии красной розы жизнь мол буДет разбита•, чем

доказал свою непригодность длл перевода романтичес­

ких сказок•;

ПРИЛОЖЕНИЕ 1

б) смешение регистров: Несо.м.ый быстры.м.и коням.и

рыцарь низвергся с колесницы и расквасил себе рожу;

в) несоответствие стилистической окраски перевода ори-

Причем в подобных случалх нужно иметь в виду, что

иногда нарушение стилистической нормы как раз и лвлл­

етсл частью замысла автора оригинала и должно быть

сохранено в переводе. Нарушение стилистической нормы

либо имеет характер ошибки (ненамеренное нарушение

нормы, свлзанное с незнанием правил употреблении), либо

.явл.яетсл стилистическим приемом (осознанное отступле-

ние от нормы).

Под Иедочета~и в индивидуальном стиле пере~одчика

мы понимаем такие нарушении •качеств хорошеи речи•,

как бедность словарл и фразеологии, речевы:_ штампы, слова-паразиты, однообразие типов предложении, неоправ-~

данные повторы и пр.

В представленной ниже таблице приведены примеры

таких недочетов и образцы их устранении.

ПРИЛОЖЕНИЯ