Tsaturova_Kashirina_-_Perevodcheskiy_analiz_texta

Часть 111. Практика переВодческого анализа, переВода и редактирования...

Но не стоит выносить Лукашен­ ко окончательный приговор. По крайней мере, благодаря его абсур­ дной политике удалось достигнуть

практически полной трудовой за­

нятости населения, а также уста­

новить приемлемые цены на жи­

лищно-коммунальные услуги. Да

и Россия немало способствует про­ исходящему в Белоруссии. Россия

уничтожила всякую организатор­

скую инициативу этой страны в сфере промышленности, поиск но­

вых рынков сбыта на Западе тем, что сама является своеобразной «свалкой• для низкокачественных льготных товаров из Белоруссии.

Территориально Белоруссия к России и не примыкает, но в спо­

собах ведения экономической по­

литики целиком копирует совет­

ские образцы.

БЕЛАРУСЬ•

Одной из главных причин, по­ чему Россия так настороженно от­ носится к объединению с Белорус­ сией, является большое количе­ ство экономических проблем в этой

стране. Господин Лукашенко сде­

лал все возможное, чтобы скрыть эти проблемы.

Одна из основных экономиче­ ских проблем - это проблема ин­

фляции, которая до сих пор не ре-

ТЕМА 9

шена. Похоже, что к 99 году инф­ ляция составит 200% , благодаря

небрежной кредитной политике в

Белоруссии.

Пытаясь преодолеть инфляцию,

правительство установило систему контроля над ценами, которая в

свою очередь привела к острому

дефициту товаров первой необхо­

димости.

Но вина в этом лежит не только

на Лукашенко. По крайней мере,

его неадекватная политика сохра­

нила занятость населения и достуn­

ные цены на жилье. Во многом

подобному положению способство­

вала и Россия, выступая рынком

сбыта низкокачественных товаров

и, тем самым, уменьшая мотива­ цию Белоруссии реструктуриро­

вать производство и выйти на ми­

ровой рынок. Наверняка Беларусь

никогда уже не станет частью Рос­

сии, но еще долго будет работать

по советскому образцу.

Задание З. Проанализируйте и критически оцените приведен­

ный ниже перевод. Примите во внимание роль заглавия, семан­

тику, синтактику, прагматику и стиль текста.

Редактирование перевода должно быть проведенов два эта­

па - сначала без опоры на оригинал, затем - окончательная

правка после ознакомления с оригиналом. Сделайте пометки в

соответствующей графе.

Затем проанализируйте оригинал и предложите свой вариант

перевода данного текста.

139

Часть 111. Практика переВодческого анализа, перевода и редактирования...

Пилот захватьmает самолет•

«Это первый случай воз­

душного захвата заложников

в Нью-Йорке». Именно так

прокомментировал отдел по­

лиции странное вчерашнее про­

исшествие. Раздосадованный

австралийский писатель гро­

зился снести самолетом один

из Нью-Йоркских небоскребов.

Первая угроза поступила в 10.20 утра. Именно тогда упол­

номоченное лицо полиции по­

звонило в штаб-квартиру ООН

и проинформировало главного

секретаря о сумасшедшем пи­

лоте, намеривающемся врезать­ ся самолетом в здание, где рас­

положена штаб-квартира ООН.

Сотрудники ООН были эва­

куированы, отряд по размини­

рованию и пожарные заняли

позиции на территории здания

ООН для более четкого реа­

гирования в случае катастро­

фы. Маршрут транспорта в рай­

оне зоны оцепления был из­

менен. Первая Авеню была

перекрыта для всех, кроме ре­

портеров.

Позднее, полиция внесла

изменения в отчет. Целью пи-

140

ТЕМА 9

лота, Ричарда Воудина, было не здание ООН, а издательство

<•Харкорд Брейс Иованович»,

расположенное в двух кварта­

лах от предполагаемой цели.

Видимо, Мистер Боудин ре­ шил, что его роману «Исповедь неисправимого обманщика>>, не достает внимания обще­ ственности. Именно поэтому

он захватил самолет в аэро­

порту Нью-Йорка и передал по

радио намерение уничтожить

издательство. Вскоре после по­

лудня, директор издательства

согласился переговорить с Ми­ стером Боудином при условии,

что тот приземлител в аэро­

порту Ля Гуардия. Мистер Боудин согласился, и на этом

опасность трагедии миновала.

Полиция сообщает, что Ми­ стеру Боудингу будет предъяв­ лено обвиненnе в необдуманном

и других правонарушениях.

ОРИГИНАЛ

PILOT HOLDS NEW YORK HOSTAGE

"This is the first airplane hostage situation in the history of the world with New York City as the hostage."

Часть 111. Практика переВодческого анализа, перевода и редактироВания...

That was how the police departтent described yesterday's Ьizarre incident in which а dissatisfied Australian writer

threatened to crash his aircraft into а New York skyscraper. The first word of the threat сате at 10.20 а,т. when а

police departтent official telephoned the United Nations and inforтed the Secretary General that а lunatic pilot in

the area planned to fly his plane into the UN building. The UN was evacuated; ЬотЬ disposal squads and fire teaтs тoved onto the UN grounds to соре with the threatened disaster. Traffic outside the UN was rerouted and no one was allowed on First Avenue but reporters.

Then the police corrected their original report. The target of the pilot, Richard Boudin, was not the UN, but the

publishing сотраnу of Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, housed in а building two Ьlocks froт the UN. Mr. Boudin apparently

felt that his novel, Confessions of а Promiscuous Counterfeiter, was not getting enough puЬlicity, so he chartered

the plane at а New Jersey airport and radioed that he was going to destroy the publishing house.

Soon after noon the president of the publishing сотраnу agreed to talk with Mr. Boudin, if he would land at La

Guardia Airport. Mr. Boudin accepted and flew off, the crisis over.

Police said Mr. Boudin would Ье charged with reckless endangerтent and other offences.

ТЕМА 10

Практика переводческого анализа

и перевода

Для са.м.остоятелън.ого изучен.ия:

И. С. Алексеева. Профессиональный тренинг перевод­

чика. § 4.20-5. - С. 2~9-265.

Вопросы для са.м.опроверк:и:

1. Каково принципиальное отличие художественных текстов от всех прочих?

2. Каковы особенности образов автора и реципиента?

3. В чем состоит важность передачи временной дистан­

ции и местного колорита при переводе художественных

Литературного наnравления?

5.В чем суть научной критики перевода как метода обучения?

Наша заключительная тема представляет собой по су­ ти практикум. Здесь собраны интересные, сложнь;е тек­ сты, анализ и перевод которых представляет собои твор­

ческую задачу, допускающую возможность нестандартных

решений и горячих дискуссий. Условно-оптимальные ва­ рианты перевода текстов, помеченных*, приведевы в при­ ложении 2.

Часть 111. Практика переводческого анализа, перевода и редактироВания...

ТЕКСТ 1

MRS BEETON'S

ВООК OF HOUSEHOLD MANAGEMENT

Originally published in 1859-61 in monthly supplements to S. О. Beeton's

"ТНЕ ENGLISHWOMAN'S DOMESTIC MAGAZINE." First puЬlished Ьу S. О. Beeton in 1861 as one volume entitled "ТНЕ ВООК OF HOUSEHOLD MANAGEMENT"

CHAPTER I

The Mistress

1. AS WITH ТНЕ COMMANDER OF AN ARMY, or the leader of any enterprise, so is it with the mistress of а house. Her spirit will Ье seen through the whole establishment; and just in proportion as she performs her duties intelligently and thoroughly, so will her domestics follow in her path. Of all those acquirements, which more particularly belong to the feminine character, there are none which take а higher rank, in our estimation, than such as enter into а knowledge of household duties; for on these are perpetually dependent the happiness, comfort, and well-being of а family. ln this opinion we are borne out Ьу the author of "The Vicar of Wakefield," who says: "The modest virgin, the prudent wife, and the careful matron, are much more serviceaЬle in life than petticoated philosophers, Ьlustering heroines, or, virago queens. 8he who makes her husband and her children happy, who reclaims the one from vice and trains up the other to virtue, is а much greater character than ladies described in romances, whose whole occupation is to murder mankind with shafts from their quiver, or their eyes."

2. PUR8UING THI8 PICTURE, we may add, that to Ье а good housewife does not necessarily imply an abandonment of proper pleasures or amusing recreation; and we think it

ТЕМА 10

the more necessary to express this, as the performance of the duties of а mistress may, to some minds, perhaps seem to Ье incompatiЬle with the enjoyment of life. Let us, however, now proceed to describe some of those home qualities and virtues which are necessary to the proper management of а Household, and then point out the plan which may Ье the most profitaЬly pursued for the daily regulation of its affairs.

3. EARLY RI81NG 18 ONE ОР ТНЕ МО8Т E88ENTIAL QUALITIE8 which enter into good Household Management, as it is not only the parent of health, but of innumeraЬle other advantages. lndeed, when а mistress is an early riser, it is almost certain that her house wШ Ье orderly and wellmanaged. On the contrary, if she remain in bed till а late hour, then the domestics, who, as we have before observed, invariaЬly partake somewhat of their mistress's character, will surely become sluggards. То self-indulgence all are more or less disposed, and it is not to Ье expected that servants are freer from this fault than the heads of houses. The great Lord Chatham thus gave his advice in reference to this subject: - "1 would have inscribed on the curtains of your bed, and'the walls of your chamber, 'lfyou do not rise early, you can make progress in nothing. "'

23. НAVING RI8EN EARLY, as we have already advised (see 3), and having given due attention to the bath, and made а careful toilet, it will Ье well at once to see that the children have received their proper aЬlutions, and are in every way clean and comfortaЬle. The first meal of the day, breakfast, will then Ье served, at which all the family should Ье punctually present, unless illness, or other circumstances, prevent.

24. AFTER BREAKFAST 18 OVER, it will Ье well for the mistress to make а round of the kitchen and other offices, tp see that all are in order, and that the morning's work has

Часть 111. Практика переВодческого анализа, перевода и редактироВания...

been properly performed Ьу the various domestics. The orders for the day should then Ье given, and any questions which the domestics desire to ask, respecting their several departments, should Ье answered, and any special articles they may require, handed to them from the store-closet.

In those establishments where there is а housekeeper, it will not Ье so necessary for the mistress, personally, to perform the above-named duties.

49. IN RETIRING FOR ТНЕ NIGHT, it is well to remember that early rising is almost impossiЬle, if late going to bed Ье the order, or rather disorder, of the house. The younger members of а family should go early and at regular hours to their beds, and the domestics as soon as possiЬle after а reasonaЬly appointed hour. Either the master or the mistress of а house should, after all have gone to their separate rooms, see that all is right with respect to the lights and fires below; and no servants should, on any account, Ье allowed to remain up after the heads of the house have retired.

ТЕКСТ 2

MRS BEETON'S

ВООК OF HOUSEHOLD MANAGEMENT

RED-CURRANT AND RASPBERRY TART

INGREDIENTS. - 1.5 pint of picked currants, 0.5 pint of raspberries, 3 heaped taЬlespoonfuls of moist sugar, 0.5 lb.

of short crust.

Mode. - Strip the currants from the stalks, and put them into а deep pie-dish, with а small cup placed in the midst, bottom upwards; add the raspberries and sugar; place а border of paste round the edge of the dish, cover with

146

ТЕМА 10

crust, ornament the edges, and bake from 0.5 to О.75 hour: strew some sifted sugar over before being sent to taЬle. This tart .is more generally served cold than hot.

1/ 2 to 3 / 4 hour. Average cost,

Sufficient for 5 or 6 persons. SeasonaЬle in June, July, and August.

RASPBERRIES. - There are two sorts of raspberries, the red and the white. Both the scent and flavour of this fruit are very refreshing, and the berr;y itself is exceedingly wholesome, and invaluaЬle to people of а nervous or Ьilious temperament. We are not aware, however, of its being cultivated with the same amount of care which is bestowed upon some other of the berry tribe, although it is far from improbaЬle that а more careful cultivation would not Ье repaid Ьу а consideraЬle improvement in the size and flavour of the berry; neither, as an eating fruit, is it so universally esteemed as the strawberry, with whose lusciousness and peculiarly agreeaЬle flavour it can bear no comparison. In Scotland, it is found in large quantities, growing wild, and is eagerly sought after, in the woods, Ьу children. Its juice is rich and abundant, and to many, extremely agreeaЬle.

ТЕКСТ 3

HOW ТО WRITE А BUSINESS LETTER

Some Thoughts from Мalcolm Forbes, President and Editor-in- Chief of Forbes Magazine

А good business letter can get you а job interview. · Get you off the hook.

Or get you money.

It's totally asinine to Ьlow your chances of getting whatever you want - with а business letter that turns people off instead of turning them on.

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Часть 111. Г1рактикf! переводческого анализа, переВода и редактироВания...

.'l'he best place to learn to write is in school. If you're still there~ pick your teacher's brains.

If not, Ьig deal. I learned to ride а motorcycle at 50 and fly balloons at 52. It's never too late to learn.

Over 10,000 business letters come across my desk every year. .

They seem to fall into three categories: stultifying if not stщ)id, mundane (most of them), and first rate (rare). Here's the approach.

"I've found that separates the winners from the losers (most of it's just good common sense) - it starts before you write your letter:

Кnow what you want

tf you don't, write it down - in one sentence. "I want to get an interview within the next two weeks. "That simple. List the major points you want to get acrossit'll keep you · on course.

If you're answering а letter, check the points that need answering and keep the letter in front of you while you write. This way you won't forget anything - that would cause another round of letters.

And for goodness' sake, answer promptly if you're going to answer at all. Don't sit on а letter - that invites the person o:ri the other end to sit on whatever you want from him.

Plunge right iil

Call him Ьу namenot "Dear Sir, Madam, or Ms". "Dear Mr: Chrisaiithopoulos" - and Ье sure to spell it right. That'll get him (thus, you) off to а good start.

(Usually, you can get his name Ьу phoning his сотраnу­ or from business directory in your nearest library~)

Tell what your letter is about in the first paragraph. One or two sentences. Don't keep your reader guessing or he might file ,your letter away - even before he finishes it.

In the tound file.

148 .

ТЕМА 10

If you're answering а letter, refer to the date it was written. So the reader won't waste time huntiiig for it.

People who read business letters are as human · as thee and me. Reading а letter shouldn't Ье а chore ,;...._ reward the ..· reader for the time he gives you. ·

Write so he'll enjoy it

Write the entire letter from hisJюinto(vtew _..::. what's in it for him? Beat him to the dra"W ~· surpris6. him ·Ьу all~~ .

wering the questions and objections ь-е- inJght have.

Веpositive - he'll Ье morereceptive .tO .what ,y_ou:have to say. Ве nice. Contrary to the ·c.нcм;;.g~nulne];y n:ice guys most often finish first or very near it~ ~:adЩlt.it•s.Цot"'easy wbl~n you've got а gripe. ТоЪе agre~aЫe:\Vblle disagreeing that's

an art. · · .· __ · .

Ве natural ~ write the.way·you talk~ Imagine him sitting in front of you - wha1Hvould you say to him? . ·

Business jargon to·o often is cold, stiff', unnatural. . .

Suppose 1 cam~ up to you and said, "I acknowledge receipt of your letter and IЪeg to thank you." You'd think, "Huh? You're putting me on."

The acid test - read your letter out loud wben you're done. You mii{ht get а shockbut you'll know fo:r' sure if it sounds natural.

Don't Ье cute or flippaтit. The reader won't take you seriously. This doesn't mean you've got to Ье dull. You prefer your letter to knock 'em dead rather than bore' em to death.

Three points to remember:

Have а $ense of humor. That's refreshing anywhere- а nice surprise in а business letter.

Ве specific. If I tell you there's а new fuel that could save gasoline, you might not believe me, but suppose 1 tell you this: "Gasohol" - 10% alcohol, 90% gasoline - works as well as straight gasoline. Since you can make alcohol from

Часть 111. Практика переВодческого анализа, перевода и редактирования...

Now you've got something to sink your teeth into.

Lеап heavier оп поипs апd verbs, lighter оп adjectives. Use the active voice iпstead of the passive. Your writing will have more guts.

Which of these is stronger?

Active voice: "1 kicked out my money manager." Or, passive voice: "Му money manager was kicked out Ьу me."

Give it the best you've got

When you don't want something enough to make the effort, making ап effort is а waste.

Make your letter back appetiziпg - or you'll strike out before you even get to bat. Туре it - on good quality stationery. Кеер it neat. And use paragraphing that makes

it easier to read.

Кеер your letter short to опе page, if possiЬle. Кеер your paragraphs short. After all who's going to benefit if your letter is quick and easy to read?

You.

For emphasis, underline important words. And sometimes indent sentences as well as paragraphs.

Like this. See how well it works? (But save it for something special.)

Make it perfect. No typos, no misspellings, no factual errors. lf you're sloppy and let mistakes slip Ьу, the person reading your letter will think you don't know better or don't care. Do you?

Ве crystal clear. You won't get what you're after if your reader doesn't get the message.

Use good Eпglish. lf you're still in school, take all the English and writing courses you can. The way you write and speak can really help - or hurt.

lf you're not in school (even if you are), get the little 71-page gem Ьу Strunk & White, Elemeпts of Style. It's in paperback. lt's fun to read and loaded with tips on good English and good writing.

ТЕМА 10

Doп't put оп airs.

Pretense invariaЬly impress only the pretender. exaggerate. Even once. Your reader will suspect

everything else you write.

Distiпguish opiпioпs from facts. Your opinions may Ье

the best in the world. But they're not gospel. You owe it to your reader to let him know which is which. He'll appreciate it and he'll admire you.

The dumbest people 1 know are those Know lt All.

Ве hoпest. lt'll get you further in the long rim. lf you're not, you won't rest easy until you're found out. (The latter, not speaking from experience.)

Edit ruthlessly. Somebody said that words are like inflated money - the more you use, the less each one is worth. Go through your entire letter as many times as it takes. Annihilate all unnecessary words, sentenceseven paragraphs.

Sum it up get out

The last paragraph should tell the reader exactly what you want him to do - or what you're going to do. Short and sweet. "Мау 1 have an appointment? Next Monday; the 16th, 1'11 call your secretary to see when it'll Ье most convenient for you."

Close with something simple like, "Sincerely." And for heaven's sake sign legiЬly. The Ьiggest ego trip 1 know is а completely illegiЬle signature.

Good luck.

1 hope you get what you're after.

Submitted Ьу Julia Pykhtina

ТЕКСТ 4

HOW ТО ВАТНЕ А САТ

N ote: J effery LaCroix is а veterinariaп with ап office iп Wilmiпgtoп. Не writes а columп for the Мorniпg Star called "From Paws to Tails."

Часть 111. Практика переводческого анализа, перевода и редактирования...

Нere is his response to а letter regarding bathing а cat:

Dear Dr. LaCroix: I've heard that cats never have to Ье

bathed and that they have some sort of special enzyme iп their s~liva that keeps them clean. This doesn't sound be-

lievaЬle to me because there are definite "kitty" odors on my couch and dirty cat paw prints on our white hearth. ls this true about the saliva? If we do decide to give "Nice Kitty" а bath, how do we do that? - NSP, Wilmington.

Dear NSP: Fortunately for you, several years ago а client gave me а written set of instructions about cat bathing which 1 am privileged to share with you:

Cat Batblng As А Martial Art

А. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the

advantage of strength.

Capitalize on that advantage Ьу selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick а very small bathroom.

If your bathroom is more than four feet square, 1 recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the

sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take а shower. (А simple shower curtain will not do. А berserk cat can s~~e?- а

three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than а pol1t1c1an

can shift positions.)

В. Kiюw that а cat has claws and will not hesitate ~о remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here 1s that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself.

1 recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, а pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, а hockey face-mask, and а long-sleeved flak jacket.

С. Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to hi~ s1.фper dish. <?ats will not usually notice your strange att1re. They have l1ttle or no interest in fashion as а rule.)

ТЕМА 10

D. Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. ln а single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo.

You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Е. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has

soapy fur, and the proЬlem is radically compounded.

Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two·or three seconds at а time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy.

He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don't expect too much.)

F. Next, the cat must Ье dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will Ье the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined.

ln fact, the drying is simple compared with what you have just been through.

That's because Ьу now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg.

You simply рор the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however~- the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is а simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.

ln а few days the cat will relax enough to Ье removed from your leg. Не will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend alot of time sitting'with his back to you.

Не might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of а plaster figurine.

You will Ье tempted to assum.e he is angry. This isn't usually the case.

153

Часть 111. Практика переводческого анализа, переВод'! и редактироВания...

As а rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and irijure you for life the next. time you decide to give him а bath.

But at least now he smells а lot better.

ТЕКСТ 5

WHEN ТО ВЕ OR NOT ТО ВЕ АТ НОМЕ

One of the major issues guaranteed to make most parents worry is the time at which their darling little fledglings should come home to the nest after an evening out. However

well-behaved you may Ье, your parents will imagine, at some time or other, tliat you are up to indescribaЬle depravity

when out of their sight.

Don't go thinking this is something new. 1 bet even Joseph and Mary used to wait up of an evening, wondering what time that young scallywag Jesus would get back after an

Whether it Ье а disco, а rave, an actюn-seekшg stroll down the high street, or а meeting of the local junior Мorr~s Dancers (heaven forЬid), you may still get that old Nazltype interrogation both before you make your exit and also when you get ho111e. The argument often goes som~thing like this. As girls usually get а harder time than boys 1 11 use one as my example.

Teenager: What time do 1 have to Ье in, Dad? (Girls always ask their fathers first since they're generally easier. Тhе reverse is true for boys.)

Father: Not too late, darling. You'd better ask your mother. (А typical buck-passing trick.)

Teenager: Mum, is it all right if 1 stay out till twelve? That's the time all my friends have been told, and Dad didn't seem to mind. (Two white lies-

1)that everyone else has easy-going parents and

2)that the other parent has already said yes.)

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Mother: No. l'd like you back Ьу 11.00. lt's quite late

enough. (Late enough for what'? you ask yourself.)

Teenager: Oh Mum! that's pathetic. 1'11seem а right twit having to leave before everyone else. Pleeeasel Do 1 have to leave at eleven? (Clever, but slightly obvious ploy to gain extra "coming home" time.)

Mother: You're not leaving at eleven. That's when you'll Ье back here. (Neatly cut off at the pass.)

Teenager: But Mum, there'll Ье no time for anything if 1 leave so early. (Bad mistake. lt leaves you wide open.)

Мother: So what do you want to do that involves being there another hour?

conjuror, balloons outside the front door... (Sarcasm seldom works. Ве careful.)

Mother: There's no need for that, my girl. (Notice "my girl". Unfortunately, as the old saying goes possession is nine-tenths of the law.)

Teenager: Oh Muml Please let me stay till twelve.

Mother: No! And that's my final word on the subject.

Daughter: But why?

Мother: (and here comes the most predictaЬle cop-out reply of the lot): Because 1 say so.

PARENT'S VIEW

Who would ever have thought l'd have heard myself saying stuff like that - а real Ьlast from the past. 1 remember how wild I was when my Mum and Dad said the same thing. lt's different now though, there's so much more out there to worry about. The worst thing is that I still remember all the dreadful roads that I could have gone down. lt just happens that 1 had а great sense of self-preservation.

Часть 111. Практика переводческого анализа, перевода и редактирования...

Thank God, otherwise 1 could have got myself pregnant that time with that horrid Brian Perkins.

The trouЬle is, I'm not so sure that our daughter has got the same degree of common sense. Why doesn't she realize that, if we do seem to Ье always going on at her, it is for her own good. If we didn't set а time to Ье back, she'd stay out all night, and we all know what that would lead to. Boys are only after one thing and always have been. 1 can remember them at school on Monday mornings, boasting about how far they'd got with girls over the weekend. 1 mean, look at her father, he tried to get me into bed on the second night, when his parents went away to Bognor. On top of all that, we didn 't have AIDS to worry about in those days.

DAUGHTER'S VIEW

Talk about out of touch. What's all the panic about?

What's so special about eleven o'c1ock anyway? 1 feel like

Cinder-Ьloody-rella. The only diff~rence- is that she reckons

Гm going to drop my knicкers on .the stroke of eleven, or suddenly transmute into а <:lop~-crazed, drunken drop-out.

Honestly, if I really wд~ted to sle~p around, or drink myself senseless, 1 cotild do_ it ~i1ytime, and practically anywhere (and w{th -anyone!). ~ - ·-

They ma:k-e out. tЧ,еу- we;re sцch little angels when they were my a,ge. ТЪеt tney were even worse than us. We've all heard about "free love" in_ the "swiriging sixties", and they didn 'thave AIDS hangin-g- over their heads. Surely, if they came through. their teenage years ок, why shouldn 't 1? 1 just wish t_hey could trust me.

PARENTS ARE ALW AYS RIGHT

So there we have it. The most common source of disagreement between teenagers and their parents in the world. TranslataЬle into every language known to man. For you-

naked, unreasonaЬle, I'm-Ьigger-than-you authority. For

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your parentsthe only way they know how to protect their beloved little darlings from the evertightening grip of the horrid world outside.

HOW ТО HANDLE YOUR PARENTS

Ever been fishing? ProbaЬly not. There might, however, Ье something to learn Ьу watching а good angler landing а fish. The last thing you should do, when you've got the thing on your hook, is to try and yank it out quickly. The secret is to play it patiently and gently. Let it think it's in

lt's the same with parents. Take it very easy. Here're а few handy hints:

1. The first couple of times you want to stay out late, act the dцtiful daughter (or son). When the old dears say а time

to Ье home, accept it and come back bang on the dot.

2. When you come in from whatever you were doing, volunteer Ьits about what you've been up to that evening (delicately censored, of course). The more you tell them, the more secure they'll feel.

3. lntroduce at least one of the people you're going out to play with. Choose the most sensiЬle, normal-looking one (as

opposed to someone covered in tattoos with rings in just about everything it's possiЬle to put rings into).

4. lf you plan to look outrageous, or just plain sexy (whether you're а girl or а Ьоу), do it when you are out of the house. For some reason, the prettier you look when you're going out, the more your mum and dad seem to worry (especially if you're а Ьloke). 1 bet Julian Clary's mum and dad were just а little apprehensive when he went out.

If you do all these things for the first few times, they should soon realize that there's а fair chance that you won't he mainlining heroin next week, or making theЦl grandparents in nine months' time. Best of Luck!