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The Ladies’ Dress Department

George and Elvira meet as agreed at seven.

George: Hello, Elvira. How lovely to see you!

Elvira: Hello. I’m sorry I’m late but my bus was held up in a traffic jam —

George: I almost thought you weren’t coming.

Elvira: Well —I wouldn’t if you hadn’t apologized! (Pause)

George: What d’you feel like doing?

Elvira: Actually I thought of doing some shopping as it’s Thurs­day and the West End shops shut late

George: Some shopping?

Elvira: Yes. Don’t you think it’s a good opportunity?

George: Well, of course, if you want to —

Elvira: Perhaps you could help me buy a new dress.

George: All right. Although I’ve never chosen a dress before.

Elvira: Shall we go in here?

George: It’s a department store.

Elvira: Well, they should have dresses. Don’t they sell every­thing?

George: Almost — except elephants. (They go up to the Ladies’ Dress Department)

George: This place makes me feel self-conscious. All these women fluttering about. And all these clothes I could never use. It makes me feel superfluous [s(j)uː'pɜːfluəs].

Elvira: Well, then, you must be of use and give your advice.

Assistant: Can I help you?

Elvira: Yes, I’d like to see some dresses.

Assistant: What kind were you thinking of?

Elvira: Oh, that looks nice (goes and hangs the dress in front of her). (To George) D’you like that?

George: Yes. It’s all right.

Elvira: You don’t sound very enthusiastic. (Goes and holds up another one) And this?

George: Well, it’s much like the other one, only instead of being non-existent above, it’s non-existent below.

Elvira: Oh, really!

George: Well, it’s true. You could have two of those dresses in one. One evening you’d wear it up, and the next you’d bring it down. It’s like a kind of shield. What’s it made of?

Assistant: Paper, sir.

George: Paper? Isn’t that a bit inflammable?

Elvira: Well, so are most dresses.

Assistant: It’s very strong.

George: Doesn’t it dissolve if you get caught in the rain?

Assistant: Well, sir, most young ladies go out with coats over their dresses if it rains.

George: I suppose you can throw it away when you’ve finished with it. Like one of those handkerchiefs ['hæŋkəʧiːf].

Elvira: Oh, George, you really are most discouraging. You’re putting me off. Oh, look, that’s nice.

George: But, it’s just like a tube!

Elvira (holding it up): How d’you mean?

George: No sleeves and so straight. It makes you look as if you were about to be shot through the barrel of a gun, like a circus artist. Or like a sausage roll, with too much sausage.

Elvira: Oh, really, George, you make it impossible for me to choose anything. (To Assistant) Thank you very much. I think we’d better be going! (distressed)

George: No, but really — any of those dresses would do splendidly. There’d be so much you and so little dress that no one would be looking at what you were actually wearing, anyway.

[18]

Score level criteria

Excellent: relevant to assigned phonostylistic peculiarities.

Good: mostly relevant but some (rare) articulation, melody slips

Fair: inadequate rate, volume, weak articulation skills (lack of aspiration, reduction and tonic placement).

Poor: not enough to evaluate.

Score – mark

20-19 - 5

18-16 - 4

15-12 - 3

11-… - 2

Module 8