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58 THINKING ITALIAN TRANSLATION

opening lines of Keats's `To Autumn', quoted on p. 51, are examples of typical variations on the basic iambic pentameter. These lines still count as iambic pentameters, because they do have five feet, they are predominantly iambic, and the rest of the poem has these qualities.

One other sort of English metre is worth mentioning, strong-stress metre. This is different from syllable-and-stress metre, in that only the stresses count in describing the line, the number of weak syllables being variable. Much modern verse uses this metre, often in combination with syllable-and-stress metre. The important thing to remember, then, is that the translator of a verse text has to ask what the function of the verse is. Is it decorative? Does it have thematic and/or expressive effect? What is the effect of its regularity or irregularity? Would there be significant translation loss in writing a prose TT? (And, of course, similar questions have to be asked on the phonic/graphic level.) Only when these questions have been answered can a reasoned decision be taken either to translate into prose or to couch the TT in an appropriate verse-form. The introduction to versification given above will help in deciding what, if any, this `appropriate' TL verse-form is to be.

PRACTICAL 5

5.1 Phonic/graphic and prosodic issues

Assignment

Taking the following text and the translations,

(i)Determine the salient features of the ST on the phonic/graphic and prosodic levels, and say what, if any, their function is in the text.

(ii)Discuss each of the TTs in turn, concentrating on significant translation loss that you think has been incurred on the phonic/graphic and prosodic levels, and explaining any successful instances of compensation that you find.

(iii)Drawing conclusions from (i) and (ii), discuss briefly what you think your main strategic decisions would be if you had to translate this ST into English.

Contextual information

The text is one of a series of playful short poems about animals written in the late 1970s by Toti Scialoja. These poems are marked by vivid, quirky and sometimes disturbing imagery, which almost seems at times to have been generated by the words themselves rather than by thematic intention.

ST

PHONIC/GRAPHIC AND PROSODIC ISSUES 59

La lepre ha il più crudele dei musi quando morde i leggeri lillà sulla radura brulla,

strappa i fiori d'aprile, li ricaccia nel nulla, col labbro che strafà profumato di verde.

(Scialoja 1984:95)

TT(a)

The hare has the most cruel of mouths when it bites the light lilacs on the bare clearing, rips out the flowers of April and drives them back into the void, with an exaggerating lip perfumed with green.

TT(b)

The hare has the meanest of mouths when he bites the lightsome lilacs on the barren branch,

and, lip scented with his leafy lunch,

returns devoured spring flowers to blackest night.

5.2 Phonic/graphic and prosodic issues

Assignment

(i)The following advertisement having proved successful in Italy, you are to translate it for a British campaign. Concentrating mainly on phonic/graphic features and their implications, discuss the strategic decisions that you have to take before starting detailed translation of this ST, and outline and justify the strategy you adopt.

(ii)Translate the text into English.

(iii)Discuss the main decisions of detail you took, paying special attention to phonic/graphic issues.

Contextual information

The text is printed opposite a picture of a smartly dressed man looking into a mirror at six reflections of himself.

ST

COME dicono le ricerche di mercato, i profitti generati da un unico cliente affezionato sono pari al costo necessario per acquisirne sei nuovi. Poiché la ragione principale per cui si perdono clienti è un servizio inadeguato, vorremmo farti una semplice ma vantaggiosa proposta. Un modo 5 rapido per migliorare la qualità della relazione e OTTENERE ottimi risultati è installare un Call Center basato su soluzioni IBM. Il tempo impiegato DAI tuoi operatori per gestire gli

60 THINKING ITALIAN TRANSLATION

ordini diminuirà, dal momento che tutti i dati relativi ai TUOI CLIENTI appariranno automaticamente sullo schermo non appena telefoneranno. Potrai così sapere qual è 10 l'ordine fatto, la situazione dei pagamenti e valutare, sulla base delle loro abitudini di acquisto, se è il caso di offrire loro qualcos'altro. E se ci chiedi il progetto per un sito Internet, i tuoi prodotti saranno disponibili non soltanto cinque o SEI giorni alla settimana, ma tutte le VOLTE che sarà necessario. Pensaci: non hai bisogno di spendere molto per dare ai tuoi 15 clienti un servizio migliore. E quindi per avere da loro TANTO di più.

(IBM Italia 1996:87)

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