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REVISING AND EDITING TTS 149

containing direct speech, there would be little point in changing `I shall go out later' to `I will go out later', unless there was a particular contextual reason. However, if the TT of a contract contained the words `[The contractor] will complete the work by August 10th' instead of `shall complete' (for `dovrà completare i lavori entro il 10 agosto'), the reviser would have to intervene: the former TT implies that it is a foregone conclusion that the work will be completed by 10th August, whereas the latter puts the onus fairly and squarely on the contractor to finish the work by the deadline.

Some texts are passed on to an editor before publication, and here the translator or reviser will often play no further part: in reality, it is unlikely that they will be consulted about changes to the TT. An editor may wish to prune what are considered to be irrelevancies from the TT, or to reduce the length of the text due to typographical or impagination constraints.

In effect, the editor is responsible to the translator for any changes made to the TT, whether or not the translator is consulted about them. If the TT is subsequently judged defective in some way by readers, it is the translator who will automatically be held responsible by readers or reviewers, rather than the author, the editor or the printer. It must therefore never be forgotten that revision and editing are part of the `quality control' procedure that all translators should implement on completing their translating (or during and after translating, depending on how the translator works). Whether or not the TT will be revised and edited by a third party, it is essential that translators have their own system for careful self-assessment of the work, and that even when completing a rush job careful reading and checking is carried out to repair errors and omissions. (Excellent advice on checking can be found in Anderson and Avery 1995.)

PRACTICAL 15

15.1 Revising and editing

Assignment

(i)You have been asked to revise and edit the following TT. Discuss the main types of revision and editing challenges it poses.

(ii)Revise the TT.

(iii)Report on your revisions, saying what criteria you adopted for assessment of the TT, and explaining the main changes you made.

(iv)Exchange the revised text for another student's, and edit it.

(v)Explain your edits.

Contextual information

150 THINKING ITALIAN TRANSLATION

The ST and TT are taken from `Stagioni d'Italia' 2/90, published in Italian and English by Electa Napoli for the Ente Nazionale del TurismoÐENIT.

ST

CILENTO DA SCOPRIRE

L'Italia è davvero il paese delle meraviglie nel senso cheÐoltre ai tesori d'arte ed all'incanto dei paesaggiÐoffre continue scoperte di territori che per secoli furono ignorati dalle grandi correnti turistiche, e che costituiscono oggi preziose riserve. Ieri fu la volta della Sardegna, balzata alla ribalta internazionale con le 5 sue coste stupende, o delle Isole Eolie o delle Tremiti o della classica serenità della Puglia: oggi è la volta delle zone interne della Campania, e precisamente quel vasto territorio del Cilento, che va dalla costa di Palinuro e di Paestum ai monti dell'Appennino, fino al vallo di Diano ed alla straordinaria Certosa di Padula. Una zona rimasta secoli fuori delle grandi vie del turismo, 10 priva di agevoli arterie, isolata e povera: ma proprio per queste ragioni negative, rimasta intatta con il suo paesaggio, le città d'arte, le sue tradizioni di folklore, di gastronomia.

Lungo la costa della Campania, pareva che l'incanto finisse con la Costa Amalfitana, per avere poi una eccezionale fioritura nella piana di Paestum con i 15 celebri templi, e quindi offrire le cale e le spiagge di Agropoli, Santa Maria di Castellabate, Ascea e Camerota, per riaffiorare lungo la costa della Calabria. [¼]

Oggi il Cilento si affaccia con prepotenza al turismo, nel quadro di una politica regionale dell'Assessorato che intende esaltare le zone interne della 20 regione, sia per decongestionare la fascia costiera sia per obiettive condizioni di interesse paesistico e monumentale, che caratterizzano l'interno della Campania, pochissimo conosciuto e capace di provocare straordinarie emozioni nel turista. [¼]

Per troppo tempo la Campania ha costituito un insieme di attrattive colle gate 25 all' immagine delle isole, di Pompei, della costa da Sorrento ad Amalfi: qui si è affollato il maggior interesse, qui si è avuto il massimo, ed ormai non più espandibile, accrescimento delle attrezzature ricettive, a danno della stessa godibilità delle attrattive stesse, a detrimento della giusta conoscenza, ricca di nuove sorprese, del cuore della regione.

(Colucci 1990a: 82±3)

TT

THE CILENTO: AN AREA TO EXPLORE

Italy is indeed the land of wonders: in the sense thatÐbesides the art treasures and the beauty of its countrysideÐit continually offers the chance to discover areas which for centuries have been off the tourist-beaten track and which now

REVISING AND EDITING TTS 151

constitute valuable reserves. A short while ago it was Sardinia's turn, which 5 leapt into the international limelight with its superb coasts; then there were the Eolian Islands and the Tremiti Islands, and the classic peace and quiet of Apulia.

Now the interior of Campania is having its turn, or to be precise, the vast area of the Cilento which runs from the coast of Palinuro and Paestum to the 10 Appennines, right up to the valley of Diano and the extraordinary Carthusian Monastery of Padula. An area which for centuries remained cut off from busy tourist routes, devoid of good roads, isolated and poor: but it is for these negative reasons that the Cilento has remained intact, with its countryside, the art of its towns, its traditions of folklore and gastronomy.

15 Along the coast of Campania the magic spell looked as though it was going to finish with the Amalfi Coast. But it then blossomed in the plain of Paestum with its famous temples, and after that offered the coves and beaches of Agropoli, Santa Maria di Castellabate, Ascea and Camerota, and then flowered again along the Calabrian coast. [¼]

20 Now the Cilento is facing up to tourism assertively: the Regional Council's policy is to give the interior a boost, both to take the load off the coastal strip and because of the conditions of natural and historical interest which characterise Campania's interior, little known and capable of stirring great excitement in the tourist. [¼]

25 For too long Campania has been a set of attractions connected with the image of the islands, of Pompei, of the Sorrento and Amalfi coasts. This is where interest has been focused, where the greatest growth, up to saturation point, has been seen in the hotel industry, to the detriment of the very enjoyment of those attractions, and to the exclusion of the unexpected riches of the heart of the 30 region.

(Colucci 1990b: 113)

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