Actual Job Application Form

This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast- food establishment in Florida, and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $ 185, 000 a year. If that’s not possible, make an offer, and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it- notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?

DO You HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumd sexy blond super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

Notes

job application заявление о приеме на работу

submit подать, представить

fast-food establishment предприятие быстрого питания

hire принять/ нанять на работу

picky разборчивый, привередливый

haggle торговаться

target цель, объект

middle management руководство среднего звена

hostility враждебность

be worth стоить, заслуживать

achievement достижение

post-it notes самоклеющиеся листочки для заметок

It sucked (sl.) Меня достало (жарг.)

skills навыки

environment окружение, окружающая среда

appropriate подходящий, уместный

the Bahamas Багамские острова (в Атлантическом океане)

think that smd/smth is the best thing since sliced bread быть очень вы сокого мнения о ком-либо/ чем-либо; восхищаться

sign поставить подпись; знак зодиака (cf.:birth sign)

Aries Овен

TEXT B

Here is a short story. Read it and express your opinion on this topic.

Relaxing on the Job

Robert Smith has time when he can relax at his work. At about 10.30 a.m. during the tea break coffee or tea is drunk and sandwiches are eaten, papers and magazines are read. He relaxes, talks and jokes with other workers. Music is often played through the break. This keeps Robert happy. At 1 p.m. he puts down his tools and goes to the factory canteen for lunch. The meals are cheaper here than in the res­taurants outside. Robert thinks that more jobs should have a possibili­ty of a time to rest or relax during the work day or work week. In fact he believes that the chance to relax at work actually increases one's productivity, for it seems to act as a refresher, a time when one feels a new surge of energy. Robert does a decent day's work and then goes home to forget about it. He refuses to spend many of his working hours, striving to "get ahead", "be a big success", or whatever makes a person's life full of stress and strain. He wants to have more joy than pain.

Discuss the following questions.

1 Do you agree that people need a chance to relax now and then at work?

2 How often do people in your country get a chance to relax at their jobs?

3 How might employers react to the worker's need to relax on the job sometimes?

4 Do you think that more and more people in today's world are under stress? If so, how would you explain it?

5 What is your opinion of people who are constantly striving to be a success?

6 How do you react to the idea that one gets a new surge of en­ergy by relaxing now and then?

7 Are you conscious of a need to relax more?

TEXT C

ERNEST RUTHERFORD (1871–1937)

Ernest Rutherford, a great English physicist, was born in 1871 in New Zealand. His grandparents were among the first English settlers on the Island.

When he was five, he was sent to primary school. Later at the University he revealed great abilities in physics. Rutherford was deeply interested in physical experiments. His work on "The Magnetisation of Iron by High frequency Discharges" was a great suc­cess. In 1895 he came to Cambridge and began to work at the labora­tory led by professor Thomson. Rutherford was among those scien­tists who started to work with X-rays after their discovery. Together with professor Thomson he found that the X-rays have positive and negative ions in the gas. For three years Rutherford worked at a research chair of physics at Montreal University. He studied the structure of the atom and the processes of radioactivity. In 1899 he discovered that radioactive radiation consists of three particles, which he called Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays.

The scientists all over the world were impressed by Rutherford's discoveries, and he was invited to many Universities both in the USA and Europe to lecture. Later he worked at Manchester University where he continued to study the structure of the atom.

In 1902 he explained the process of radioactive decay, in which one chemical element can turn into another. For this work Rutherford received the Nobel Prise in 1908. He was made a life peer in 1931. In 1937 Rutherford died. His research work is of great importance and is continued by many scientists all over the world.

GRAMMAR TEST

Put the verbs in brackets into the correct passive or active tense.

MY UNCLE TOM

I

My uncle worked on the railway. It ⁽¹⁾ (not to be) at a big station, it⁽²⁾ (to be) a little place called Lowton Cross. Only about two trains a day ⁽³⁾ (to stop) there, and Tom ^(4> (to be) a station master, a chief porter all in one. In fact, Tom⁽⁵⁾ (to do) all the work that⁽⁶⁾ (to come) along. Lowton Cross ⁽⁷⁾ (to be) the pride of his heart, the waiting room⁽⁸⁾ (to clean) every day by the chief cleaner (Tom); the chairs ⁽⁹⁾ (to polish) by the chief polisher (Tom); and the tickets ^(l0) (to sell) and ^(ll) (to collect) by the ticket collector (Tom) – sometimes there ^<l2> (to be) as many tickets as four a day – and the money ^<l3) (to count) every evening by the chief clerk (Tom).

The station⁽¹⁴⁾ (to run) well. Tom^(l5) (to be) very strict about the rules. He ^<16) (to know) what a passenger ⁽¹⁷⁾ (to allow) to do and ⁽¹⁸⁾ (not to allow) to do. He⁽¹⁹⁾ (to be) there for 50 years and then he ⁽²⁰⁾ (to have) to retire. There ^(2,) (to be) no doubt that Tom ⁽²²⁾ (to do) his job well; in all the 50 years he never⁽²³⁾ (to miss) a day. So the Railway Company⁽²⁴⁾ (to want) to thank him for his job. A man from the head office⁽²⁵⁾ (to ask) to go to Lowton Cross to do it.

II

Tom ⁽²⁶⁾ (to thank) and ⁽²⁷⁾ (to give) a small check as a present. He ⁽²⁸⁾ (to please), of course, but he ⁽²⁹⁾ (to tell) the man, "I don't need the money. But can I have something that⁽³⁰⁾ (to remind) me of the happy days I⁽³¹⁾ (to spend) in Lowton Cross?" The man ⁽³²⁾ (to ask) him what he⁽³³⁾ (to want). "Well, sir, could the Company let me have a part of an old railway carriage. It^(34> (not to matter) how old or broken it ^<35) (to be). I ^<36) (to want) to put it in my garden and every day I can go and sit in it".

About a week later a carriage ⁽³⁷⁾ (to send) and^<38> (to take) into Tom's garden.

Tom^<39) (to work) at it and it⁽⁴⁰⁾ (to clean) and^<41) (to paint) and ^<42) (to polish). Soon we ⁽⁴³> (to go) to see Tom. It⁽⁴⁴⁾ (to be) a bad day for a visit. It ^<45) (to begin) to rain as we ⁽⁴⁶⁾ (to get) off the train, and by the time we ⁽⁴⁷⁾ (to get) to Tom's house it⁽⁴⁸⁾ (to rain) hard. We⁽⁴⁹⁾ (to knock) but there ⁽⁵⁰⁾ (to be) no answer. Tom ^(5I) (not to be) in the house. We ⁽⁵²⁾ (to think) he ^(53> (to be) in his carriage. Sure enough he ^<54) (to be) there, but he ⁽⁵⁵⁾ (not to sit) in the carriage, he ⁽⁵⁶⁾ (to be) outside, on the step of the carriage smoking his pipe. His head ⁽⁵⁷⁾ (to cover) with a sack. We ^<58) (to ask) him why he ^<59) (not to go) inside the carriage. "Can't you see", Tom ^(60> (to say), "the carriage they ^(6I) (to send) me ⁽⁶²⁾ (to be) a non-smoker".

Check your understanding of the text. Say whether these statements are true or false.

1. Tom worked at a big railway station.

1. Tom did all the work that came along.

2. Tom had to retire after 50 years of work.

3. The company did not thank him for his work.

4. Tom wanted to have something to be reminded of the happy days at Lowton Cross.

5. The company sent him a carriage.

6. Tom was sitting inside the carriage smoking his pipe.

8) Tom was smoking outside because they had sent him in a non-smoker.