Persecutor), or positive (from the Rescuer) is of little importance.
In the long run, the Victims realize that they must take responsibility for their actions if people are to stop avoiding them.
That means trying to cope with their pessimistic world-view, and attempting some positivity for a change.
Unfortunately, the Victim almost never feels in control of their own destiny but will never take steps to change that – preferring instead to live in constant selfloathing.
They will also act as enablers for the persecutors and rescuers.
The Rescuer
Superficially, this archetype is still looking for feelings of appreciation and love from others. As such, they will concentrate all their attention on others.
That means they never consider their own needs and problems, which is still a negative trait. Unlike the Persecutor, these characters become “assertive” by being extremely altruistic.
They can also unleash their deep-seated anger in the name of the Victim because they feel they shouldn’t be too hard on their own selves. That will possibly lessen their feelings of rejection.
Still, the Rescuer will be so occupied with other Victims that they will never find time for their own needs – just for the short-term goal of being seen as a selfless person.
In the long run, the Rescuer will just end up feeling neglected, and will end up hating the Victims for it. Since “selfless” people always care for others and never ask for anything in return, their needs are overlooked.
It comes as no surprise that this will reinforce their thoughts of insignificance. Just as the Victim, the Rescuer never acts for themselves.
Instead, they act as an enabler for Victims and Persecutors. Also, they will end up burning out by not paying any attention to their own feelings – and having to “be there” for everybody.
How the Drama Triangle Looks Like in Practice
Let’s look at an example of how a Drama Triangle would work out. Our
characters are named Terry, Alice, and Jane.
Terry didn’t take the dog out as he promised so many times. Alice ends up doing it herself, and has become sick of it. Jane is a friend who happens to visit every once in a while.
Alice: ‘You haven’t walked the dog like I asked you to do. How many times do I have to repeat it before you do it?’
Terry: ‘I’m sorry, honey! Don’t get so angry over nothing.’
Alice: ‘Nothing? You never take out the dog! Maybe I’d like to have time to myself sometimes, you know?’
Jane: ‘Now, now, Alice. You know Terry isn’t doing it intentionally. He’s just been busy at the office and the boss asked him to do some extra work at home. No need to shout.’
What Do We Gather from This Discussion?
Alice, the Persecutor, is annoyed that she has no time for herself. She feels it’s all the fault of the Victim, Terry.
He, on the other hand, doesn’t feel responsible for his actions and lets out an inappropriate response for this case. As a consequence, Alice goes even further into Persecutor mode.
Jane acts as the Rescuer in the whole ordeal. She excuses Terry for not walking the dog as he said he’d do. Terry will end up “cleared of responsibility” because the Rescuer has taken his side.
Alice will inevitably get angrier because she feels they’re putting the blame on her. As such, Jane acts as an enabler for Terry the Victim and Alice the Persecutor.
Try This Yourself!
You too can create a Drama Triangle and explore how your interactions with others work. Do the following:
Think of three recent arguments or conflicts you participated in;
Write them down similarly to the example above – no need to overcomplicate them;
Make sure to be honest objective in your analysis – if you put in your own interpretation, the analysis will be flawed;