Your self-concept

Your experience with people early in life helped make you what you are. The kisses from your parents, the worlds of encouragement from other people influence your behaviour. These early relatonships are the basis for your adult hopes and fears, loves and hates. Such relationships also affect how you feel about yourself – whether you like or dislike the way you are.

What you think of yourself, or you self-concept, directly affects how you act. If you like yourself, you are usually happy and pleasant to be around. You are not afraid to try new things. In contrast it’s easy to recognize people who have poor self-concept. They may not try to do well in school, they might feel that other people don’t like them, somethimes they show a dislike for themselves by the way they treat others.

The first step in learning to accept and appreciate yourself is to recognize what you can change and what you cannot change. Other steps that will help you improve your self-concept include:

• being proud of your accomplishments

• focusing on your skills and talents

• learning from your mistakes

• developing a positive attitude

Although it takes time and patience to develop a positive self-concept, you will be pleased in the end. You will understand who you are, and why you are an important person. You will get along better with other people and realize that you have personal control over the choices and decisions that influence your life. You will also feel more comfortable with the physical and emotional changes in your life.

2. Answer the questions:

• What is the basis for our adult hopes and loves, fears and hates ?

• What does self-concept mean ?

• What can a person do to develop a positive self-consept?

• Why is it important for a person to recognize his or her problems and limitations ?

• What are the four things you can do to improve your self-concept ?

3. Give an example of a television or book character who portrays someone with a positive self-concept. Indentify the program or book and the character. Describe the person’s behaviour.

LEARN THE POEMS

THE BOYS WE NEED

I trust the boy who’s not afraid.

To do his share of work;

Who never is by toil dismayed,

And never tries to shirk.

The boy whose heart is brave to meet

All lions in the way;

Who’s not discouraged by defeat,

But tries another day.

The boy who always means to do

The very best he can;

Who always keeps the right in view,

And aims to be a man.

Such boys as these will grow to be

The man whose heart will guide

The future of our land; and we

Shall speak their names with pride

Edith Segal

persistent confidence purpose to put up with

persistence dignity sympathy to stand up to

confident effort to sympathize

dignity - human dignity. A man’s dignity depends on what he is.

effort - to make an effort; to unite efforts. I shall make every effort to help you. Their effort were successful.

intelligent - an intelligent person; intelligent eyes; an intelligent question or reply. At the competition the boy asked a very intelligent question, the boys from the other team could not answer it.

persistent - to be persistent in something; to do something with amazing persistence. He is persistent in everything he does. Her persistence in studying music is amazing. Persistence and courage are wonderful qualities.

straightforward – a straightforward person; a straightforward explanation; a straightforward answer; to be straightforward about something. It is not always easy to give a straightforward reply.

confident - to be confident of something; to feel confident of something; to be confident of victory; to be confident of success; confident manner; to have confidence in the future; to lose confidence in something. He feels confident of passing the examination. We are confident of success. Are you confident that everything will go well? He answered all the questions with confidence.

purpose - purpose in life; to achieve one’s purpose; to do something on purpose. What purpose do you want it for? I’m sure he has done it on purpose.

sympathy - to express sympathy; to feel sympathy for somebody; to sympathize with somebody. He has no sympathy for such people. I can sympathize with you but I cannot help you.

to put up with - to put up with hardships; to put up with somebody. I can’t put up with it any longer. Their purpose was so important that they were ready to put up with all the hardships.

to stand up to - to stand up to somebody; to stand up to something. The workers had enough courage to stand up to their master. Are you sure the boys have enough character to stand up to difficulties ?

a passion sake a sacrifice innocent

passionate to establish guilt decent

humanity to sacrifice guilty indecent

passion - to have a passion for reading (travelling); a passionate fighter for freedom and

passionate independence; passionate spectators; to be passionately devoted to …; to believe passionately in … Ann has a passion for music. Millions of people in the world believe passionately in a peaceful future for humanity.

humanity - the whole of humanity. We are looking forward to a future without wars for all of humanity on this beautiful planet.

sake - for the sake of; for my (his, your, our country’s) sake. We must be patient for the sake of peace. He worked hard for the sake of his family.

to establish - to establish a system or an organization; to establish one’s own business; to establish communications with other people; to establish one’s reputation; to establish friendly relations. There he set out to establish his own business. These performances established the singer’s international reputation.

sacrifice - the man sacrificed his life to save the drowning child. Parents often make sacrifices for the sake of their children.

guilt - to be guilty of something; to look guilty; a guilty look; a guilty person;

guilty a guilty conscience. He felt he was guilty of nothing. She couldn’t imagine what she was guilty of.

innocent - to be innocent of something; an innocent look; to look innocent. Don’t be so innocent as to believe everything he says. Don’t look so upset, it was just an innocent joke.

decent - decent people; decent clothes; decent language and behavior; to look decent; to speak decently about something; to treat somebody decently; to behave decently.

indecent - never tell stories that are not decent. They only want the chance to live their lives decently. We could not expect him to do an indecent thing.

DO SOME EXERSICES

Do you think persistence is a good quality ? Explain why.

Do you agree that it is important to develop confidence in oneself? Explain your opinion.

a) Read and describe how F. Roosevelt was facing difficulties in his life.

Franklin Roosevelt was a lucky young boy. He had wealthy parents and grew up having everything. He was taught that wealthy people should help those who were not as lucky.

When Franklin was grown up, he decided to run for public office. He was elected to the New York State Senate. A few years later, President Wilson asked Franklin to come to Washington and help him. Franklin’s life was very successful. Then, something happened that changed it all.

Franklin went on a vacation with his wife Eleanor. They went sailing and swimming. He caught a cold and felt sick. Franklin discovered he could not move his legs. He had polio and would never walk again. Everyone thought Franklin’s career was over. They said he would never be able to stand up and make a speech again. They were wrong.

Franklin Roosevelt did stand. He worked hard to make his arms strong enough to support his whole body. He returned to work. Soon, he was elected Governor of New York. Then, only elevent years after he became ill, Roosevelt was elected President of the United States.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt was the 52^nd President of the United States. He was the President for twelve years.

b) Speak about situations:

• in which the only choice is to put up with hardships;

• in which people must have enough courage to stand up to difficulties.

DISCUSS SOME QUESTIONS

Speak about people who are respected by everybody. Explain why they are respected and what they are judged by. Say if you would like to develop the same qualities in your self.

When we speak about one’s civic duty we mean:

• to work conscientiously

• to respect people

• to act according to one’s conscience

• to study well

• to take care of one’s parents

• to be sensitive to the needs of others

• not to be indifferent to the sufferings of others

• to be firm in one’s beliefs

• to be a reliable person

• to be honest

• to take care of nature

• to defend one’s country

• to fight against all sorts of violence

• to live in peace

How do you understand your civic duty? Do you have a feeling of resposibility and civic duty ?

Learn the words and their meanings:

Goals - something to work toward; clear ideas, plans, or purposes of what you would like to achieve

realities - actual conditions that affect your life

resources - what you use to reach your goals

standard - a mental picture of how something should be; a measure of what is acceptable to you

challenges - demands made on you by yourself or by others

conscience - a set of internal guidelines that help you tell the difference between right and wrong

decision - the act of making a choice or coming to a solution

managing - working out the best way to meet several goals

needs - things that are essential

wants - things you desire to make life more enjoyable

READ THE TEXT

WHERE ARE YOU GOING ?

James wants to be a history teacher. Stephanie dreams of being a newspaper reporter. Andy won’t be satisfied until he owns a car repair shop.

James, Stephanie and Andy have goals. They have something to work toward. Goals are clear ideas, plans, or purposes of what you would like to achieve.

The definite plans you have in life are your goals. They give you a picture of where you are going. They also help you show what you must do to get there. They also guide you in your use of time. As you achieve personal goals, your life becomes more interesting.

The greatest waste of our natural resources is the number of people who never achieve their potential. Get out of that slow lane. Shift into that fast lane. If you think you can’t, you won’t. If you think you can, there’s a good chance you will. Even making an effort will make you feel like a new person. Reputations are made by searching for things that can’t be done and doing them. Aim low: boring. Aim high: soaring.

Goals don’t come out of nowhere. Most of them come from dreams or hopes. For instance, you and your friends may dream of becoming wealthy or famous. Perhaps you have dreams of managing a business, travelling around the world, or writing a book. You may also have dreams that include owning a home, having a family of your own, and helping those less fortunate.

Goals can be short-term or long –term. Wanting to pass next week’s language test is a short-term goal. It can be achieved in the near future. Planning to major in business at the university is a long-term goal. It can be achieved further in the future.

It’s important to set both short-and long-term goals. Short-term goals, such as reading a book, cleaning your room, writing a letter, or learning more about computers, are easier to reach than long-term goals. By setting short-term goals, you feel good when you reach them and gain a sense of accomplishment.

Long-term goals can be made easier to achieve if they are divided into a series of short-term goals. For instance, if your goal is to attend summer camp, you can read about and compare different programmes. Then you could earn 30-40 hryvnias per week babysitting and save enough money to go to the camp of your choice.

You see, not everyone who sets goals reaches all of them. Perhaps you know people who have had the goals of becoming student body president, a city league baseball player, or leading person in the class play. If they were unable to reach their goals, there may be many reasons why. Ambilitious goals like these, as well as others you set, are more likely to be met if you have certain skills. The ability to make good decisions is one of these. Just making the right decisions, however, is not enough. You must also follow certain steps along the way. Let’s look at these.

1. Set you own goal. Although parents, friends, and relatives influence your goals, be sure that the goals you set reflect what is important to you. To achieve any goal you must be committed to it. You need to “own” a goal for it to be meaningful.

2. Develop a plan. For instance, just wanting to participate in the 10-kilometer run isn’t enough. Even though it is a fine goal, it won’t get you anywhere without a plan of action. Make each step of your goal count. Begin by setting up a healthful diet and exercise program. For the first week run a short distance every day. Then slowly increase your distance each week. With each new distance that you achieve, reward yourself. In that way you won’t get tired and bored, or fail to achieve your goal.

3. Carry out your plan. One way to do this is to keep the goal in your mind as much as possible. Try to visualize, or picture it. Also, write it down on paper. Maybe your goal states, “I want to be able to bench press 300 pounds,” or “I want to become a veterinarian,” or “I want to earn 750 hryvnias so I can buy a new stereo.” Whatever your goal, read it a aloud every morning and every night. Then devote the time and energy needed to make it come true. It’s up to you to make goals happen.

* * *

Understanding what is important to you means knowing what you need and want. All human beings have certain needs. Needs are things that are essential. They are physical, emotional, mental and social. Your needs affect every decision that you make.

You have three basis physical needs: food, clothing and home. Your basic emotional needs include affection, security and safety, independence, belonging or acceptance, and achievement. Your desire to learn and experience the world around you is a mental need. Socially, you need to relate to other people, including family, friends, and acquaintances. Do you think all people feel the need for social contact in the same way?

When your needs aren’t met to some extent, you may not feel very confident. Therefore, making sure your needs are met is important to both health and happiness. This is true of your wants, too. Wants are things you desire to make life more enjoyable, and they may be related to many of your needs. For instance, wanting to dress like most of her friends is part Andrew’s need for belonging or acceptance. Andrew feels good about being able to buy a new stereo for himself. He feels good about it because it will help meet his need for achievement. Meeting both you physical and mental needs is necessary to have self-confidence.

And now let’s think of decision making as a series of steps. By following each of these step, you’ll learn to make decisions that will help you to achieve your goals.

1. Identify the problem. You need to be able to state the problem – to put it into words. It might be, “I am failing science.”

2. Examine your choices. There are usually several possible ways of dealing with your problem. For instance, “I could get a tutor,” “I could study more,” or “I could continue failing mathematics.” Look closely at the good and bad points of each available choice.

3. Make a choice. Consider your goals when you make your choice. For example, “I am going to study more so that I can pass my next chemistry test.” For many problems, it helps to make a step-by-step plan. Be as specific as possible. Your plan might include setting aside study time for science as well as a certain place to study.

4. Act on your decision. Carry it out to the best of your ability. If you plan to study chemistry or mathematics from 7:00 to 7:30 p.m. Sunday through Thursday nights at the kitchen table, then do so.

5. Evaluate your decision. Did you achieve your goal of passing the science test? Did you follow your plan? Was “studying more” the best choice for solving your problem? Answering questions such as these will help you make good decisions in the future.

* * *

The decision-making process can help you with a specific problem. However, there will be times when you have several decisions to make and a lot of things to do. Often this happens when you’re busy. How can you possibly get it all done? How do you decide which things come first? Managing, or working out the best way to meet several goals, is a skill that can help you.

Proper management, combined with good decision making, can make goalsetting work for you. For instance, you have already decided how to work on passing the chemistry test, but you would like to do better in your other classes, too. In addition, you have other goals besides raising your level.

The management process can help you decide what is most important and relieve the frustration you feel when there is just too much to do. Here is how it works.

1. Planning. Making a plan requires two major steps. First, list both what you need and what you want to accomplish. Make sure your list is in order of importance. You might list, “I want to raise my marks”, “I want to be on the football team,” and “I should practice my guitar each day if I’m going to stay in the school band.” Second, you need to decide on a time schedule for each item on your list. Planning involves thinking ahead in order to avoid conflicts. For example, tryouts for the football team are a month away. You may decide that running 45 minutes a day, four days a week, will help you get into condition. That will still allow you time each day for studying and playing the guitar.

2. Acting. Putting the plan into action is an easy step for some people, but a hard one for others. Remember that a plan without action won’t get you anywhere.

3. Controlling. This step helps you keep your plan working. It means checking the progress of the plan and making any needed changes along the way. For instance, “Because I didn’t pass my English test, I will add half an hour per day to my study schedule. I’ll have to cut my running down to half an hour three days a week until my English level improves.”

4. Evaluating. Checking on the effectiveness of the planning, acting, and controlling steps requires honesty. Determine what kind of job has been done and better ways to do it the next time. For instance, if you raised your marks, made the football team, and stayed in the school band, then your decisions were good and you managed them well. However, if you reached only the goal of raising your marks, you are still a success. You met your most important goal. If you aren’t pleased with the results of what you tried to accomplish, evaluate your goals and decisions. Make a new management plan and move forward.

Being a manager means facing number of challenges, or demands made on you by yourself or by others. Some are easy to deal with and some are not. For example, Mary’s boyfriend is a always pressuring her to skip studying so they can spend more time together. However, Mary has a definite goal of becoming a school counselor. She needs to do well in school so that she can go on to university.

Listen to you internal guidlines. They will help you to tell the difference between right and wrong. It is called conscience. It plays a great role when you deal with challenges that come your way. Most guidelines come from your family, religious beliefs and from the society you live in. Don’t act against your conscience! Then you are going to feel yourself really good and self-confident.