Добавил:
Upload Опубликованный материал нарушает ваши авторские права? Сообщите нам.
Вуз: Предмет: Файл:

Vin DiCarlo - Pandoras Box (Complete PUA System)

.pdf
Скачиваний:
19287
Добавлен:
26.03.2016
Размер:
29.03 Mб
Скачать

171

172

7KH ELJJHVW GLIIHUHQFH , VHH EHWZHHQ JX\V ZKR DUH JRRG ZLWK ZRPHQ DQG JX\V ZKR VWUXJJOH LV WKDW WKH VXFFHVVIXO JX\V GRQ¶W JHW XSVHW ZKHQ WKH\

JHW ³UHMHFWHG ´ ,I WKH\ DSSURDFK D ZRPDQ DQG VKH LV QRW LQWHUHVWHG WKH\ GRQ¶W VHH LW DV D ELJ GHDO ± LW¶V KHU ORVV 6R EHIRUH \RX FDQ HYHQ EHJLQ WR WKLQN DERXW WHFKQLTXH LV WR ZUDS \RXU PLQG DURXQG WKH IDFW WKDW \RX :,// KDYH WR IDFH VRPH UHMHFWLRQ IURP ZRPHQ LI \RX DUH JRLQJ WR EH DSSURDFKLQJ WKHP

7KH NH\ LV WR NHHS JRLQJ DQG QRW VKXW GRZQ ([SHULHQFH WUXPSV DQ\ IDQF\ WHFKQLTXH $OVR LI \RX DUH VFDUHG RI JHWWLQJ UHMHFWHG \RX ZLOO UHSHO ZRPHQ ZLWK \RXU LQVHFXUH ERG\ ODQJXDJH DQG QHUYRXV HQHUJ\

:KHQ DSSO\LQJ WKH IROORZLQJ WHFKQLTXHV \RX PXVW XQGHUVWDQG WKDW LW FDQ EH D FKDOOHQJH ± DQG RIWHQ UHTXLUHV PRQWKV RI H[SHULHQFH EHIRUH \RX FDQ 0LQG5HDG KHU W\SH RQ WKH DSSURDFK 7KHUHIRUH LW¶V OLNHO\ \RX ZLOO XVH DQ RSHQLQJ OLQH RU WHFKQLTXH WKDW LV QRW SHUIHFWO\ VXLWHG WR KHU W\SH 7KDW¶V 2.

± DV DORQJ DV \RX KDYH WKH XQLYHUVDO IXQGDPHQWDOV RI DSSURDFKLQJ GRZQ \RX ZRQ¶W GR DQ\WKLQJ WRR XQDWWUDFWLYH

7KH VNLOO \RX PXVW GHYHORS LV IDVW FDOLEUDWLRQ WR HDFK W\SH 7R NHHS WKLQJV VLPSOH UHPHPEHU WKDW KHU 7LPH /LQH LV PRVW LPSRUWDQW RQ WKH LQLWLDO DSSURDFK DQG ZKDW NLQGV RI GDWHV \RX JR RQ +HU 6H[ /LQH LV PRVW LPSRUWDQW LQ WHUPV RI WKH DPRXQW RI VH[XDO WHQVLRQ \RX FUHDWH DQG KRZ IDVW \RX WU\ WR HVFDODWH WR PRUH LQWLPDF\ +HU 5HODWLRQVKLS /LQH LV PRVW LPSRUWDQW UHJDUGLQJ WKH FRQWHQW RI FRQYHUVDWLRQ DQG ZKDW W\SHV RI FRPSOLDQFH VKH JLYHV \RX

173

You always have a 50% chance to calibrate to her personality factor – she’s either an N or T, J or D, I or R. If you do something wrong, adapt. That’s the great thing about dealing with women – the instant you adapt and exhibit attractive cues, they respond instantly. Imagine a woman instantly growing larger breasts or becoming more pretty instantly – you would be attracted without thinking. The same thing works in reverse, only you aren’t changing in your appearance, but in your personality (stemming from your thoughts).

When it comes to approaching, you really only have to be concerned with her Time Line – whether she is a Tester or iNvestor. So we will explore the ideal ways to approach Testers and iNvestors, how to gauge which she is, and how to adapt if you make a mistake.

When teaching men how to approach, I use three categories of environments where you will see women. The names may sound technical but they are really easy to understand, and you’ll see why these categories are important to understand.

174

Static

This is a situation where you and the woman are in a place for an extended period of time. There’s no rush and very little movement. For example, let’s say you find a seat in a café after getting your coffee, and you notice a woman sitting at a nearby table working on her laptop. This is static, because you are both going to be there for awhile – there’s no rush.

Other examples: -Bookstore -Library

-Sitting in a park during your lunch break (and she is clearly on her break as well)

-You’re both sitting at a bus stop, or on a bus/train sitting next to each other

-Work or class (this is the ultimate static situation and any attempt at courtship should be drawn out over the course of several weeks/months, depending on the situation)

In static situations, it’s best to use a situational comment or question to start a conversation. Notice what she is doing or focusing on, and ask her a question about it. Or make a comment – if you see her reading a book, you can make a comment about the book.

If you say something very direct (e.g. telling her she’s beautiful and you want to meet her), it will come off as too intense and socially awkward. A genuine compliment about her choice of clothing is also a good choice, but make sure to use a light, relaxed tonality. This is not the time for a direct, intense approach.

175

Dynamic-in-static

This is typically a nighttime social situation – a bar, nightclub, or party is a dynamic-in-static situation. I personally like to be direct in these situations, to set a sexual precedence early on. However, this is not always the ideal way to go (maybe I’m just lazy and like to stick to my “bread and butter”).

What seems to work the best in this environment is a specific compliment about an effort the woman made to look attractive: “You look great in that dress,” “I like your hair,” “You have a unique style – I noticed you right away.” These all convey a sexual intention, but are also socially acceptable things to say, and are light and positive. A good rule of thumb in bars

and clubs is to use a light, direct approach by giving a sincere, specific compliment.

Dynamic

I’m sure you’ve been in this situation: you’re walking down the street and you see a beautiful woman walking towards you. You look at her, and your mind goes blank. You crane your neck behind you as she walks past. If only you had a way of stopping her. If only you knew what to say.

For Vin and I, this is our favorite situation to approach, because if you do it right, you create massive attraction in a short period of time. And it requires BALLS. Approaching women on the street is a very socially atypical thing to do – it’s rare to see it, if ever. It does happen (as women have told me), but almost never in a way that women actually enjoy.

A dynamic situation is when there is a very short time window to approach, because you and the woman are in motion, going in different directions. In this setting, you should go direct, with passion, intense focus, and an extremely warm attitude.

176

Here are some more examples:

-She’s leaving the store while you are still in line at the checkout. Do you jump out of line and go after her before she gets to her car? (hint: yes.)

-You pass by her in the mall

-You see her sitting on a park bench as you jog past

-She is in a restaurant having drinks/food with her girlfriends and you see her through the window as you walk past

Simply understanding the difference between these three categories, and which types of approaches work best means you are three-quarters of the way to fully optimizing your chances for success. The last piece is about calibrating to her personality type.

177

Calibrating to her type

The easiest way to gauge whether a woman is a Tester or iNvestor is to give her a direct compliment, with strong eye contact (lock eyes for a moment before speaking).

If she seems a bit uncomfortable, or smiles but looks away quickly as if she’s distracted, she is a Tester. Tone down the direct, conversational focus. Give her space, and adopt a more playful, spontaneous, physical mindset. Do something silly like making a funny face, or clinking glasses in a toast.

If she’s an iNvestor, she will respond with eye contact and seem genuinely flattered. She may put her hand out and ask your name.

On the flip side, let’s you approach in a fun, non-sexual way. We’ll call this being “indirect.” You use something in the environment to initiate a conversation. This is never “wrong,” and in fact is the safest way to ensure a positive response, because you aren’t showing any sexual intention.

However, if she is an iNvestor, she may smile politely, or respond with a laugh or one-word response, and pay no more attention to you. This is because she won’t understand that you are talking to her because you selected her out of the crowd. iNvestors need focused attention. If this is the response you get, simply follow up with a question aimed at her – you can keep it simple, e.g. “So how’s your day going?”

If she does neither, either you had poor paralanguage (bad posture, talking to fast or quiet, or came off creepy in some way), or she’s not interested in meeting a man right now.

178

Best ways to approach

Static

Tester: make a joke – an observation about something relating to the environment. Keep the focus off her for now.

iNvestor: ask her a question relating to what she’s doing or paying attention to. Convey that you noticed her out of the crowd.

Examples

Café – she appears to be studying (reading or working on a laptop)

oiNvestor: Ask her if she goes to the local university and what she is studying. (notice how this is a more direct approach because of how focused you are on her immediately.)

oTester: Make a lighthearted comment about what popped into your head when you saw her studying, “I’m so glad I’m done with school. I was the worst student ever.” (This is better suited for a Tester.)

Work – she works in another department and you have set your sights on her.

oIn this case, it is better to always go slow. T vs. N is not as big a concern here as simply being friendly, and GRADUALLY spending more time together outside the office. If you try to pick her up or go to fast, you will make things awkward.

oAlways say hi when you see her. After a couple times, ask her if she’s new to the company and how things are going for her so far. Introduce yourself and move on.

179

oAfter about 3-5 encounters, invite her to join you and your crew for lunch, or see if she wants to try a place that just opened up in town – the two of you can be pioneers for the office.

Eating lunch in the park

oiNvestor: “I think I’ve seen you out here before. Do you work nearby?”

oTester: “I love this weather. I gotta think of a way to convince my boss to let me work outside!”

180

Dynamic-in-static

Tester: do something silly or physical – like giving her a high five, or simply giving her a big smile and saying “hey there!”

iNvestor: give her a compliment about how something she chose to wear or do to look attractive – her hair, outfit, jewelry are all great places to start.

Examples

Upscale nightclub

oiNvestor: “Wow – you look great tonight. What’s your name?”

oTester: “My drink can beat up your drink.”

College bar watching the game

oTester: Give her a hi-five when the hometeam scores, or because you like her jersey/face paint

oiNvestor: Ask her if she graduated from the local university. If she’s still in school, look surprised. If she did, ask her what she ended up going into. If she is from somewhere else, ask what she is doing in town.

Friend’s house party

oTester: Introduce yourself and ask her how she knows the host.

oBoth: Say “cheers” and clink glasses. (This works with both types. The intensity of your focus should be calibrated to T - N)

Соседние файлы в предмете [НЕСОРТИРОВАННОЕ]