Into this breathalyzer tube."

The man says, "Sorry officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do

that I'll have a really bad asthma attack."

"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood

sample."

"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to

death."

"Well, then we need an urine sample."

"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do

that I'll get really low blood sugar."

"All right then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."

Мультиязыковой проект Ильи Франка www.franklang.ru

35

"I can't do that, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm too drunk to do that!"

Why not?

36

A man went to the Police Station (человек пришел в полицейский участок) wishing

to speak with the burglar (желая побеседовать с грабителем) who had broken into

his house the night before (который влез в его дом накануне ночью).

"You'll get your chance in court (у вас будет эта возможность в суде)," said the

sergeant (сказал сержант).

"No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know (я хочу знать) how he got into the house

without waking my wife (как он попал в дом, не разбудив моей жены). I've been

trying to do that for years! (я пытался это сделать /многие/ годы)"

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who

had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court," said the sergeant.

"No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house

without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

I've been trying to do that for years!

Two robbers were robbing a hotel (два вора грабили отель). The first one said

(первый сказал), "I hear sirens. Jump! (я слышу сирены. Прыгай; siren

[`saı∂rın])"

The second one (второй) said, "But we're on the 13th floor! (но мы на 13-м этаже)"

The first one screamed back (прокричал в ответ), "This is no time to be superstitious

(нет времени быть суеверными)."

Мультиязыковой проект Ильи Франка www.franklang.ru

36

Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens.

Jump!"

The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!"

The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."

This is no time to be superstitious!

37

A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations (клиент госпиталя, где

делали пересадку мозга) asked about the prices (спрашивал о расценках).

The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs (ну, этот мозг доктора философии

/Ph.D. – Doctor of philosophy/ стоит) $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top

scientist (этот мозг принадлежал главному ученому НАСА: Национального

управления по аэронавтике и исследованию космического пространства) and

costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000 (здесь у

нас также есть мозг полицейского. Он стоит 50.000)."

The client asked, "What? How's that possible? (Что? Как это "возможно" = может

быть)"

The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused (вы видите, он абсолютно не

использован)."

A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about

the prices.

The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain

belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a

policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000."

The client asked, "What? How's that possible?"

The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."

What? How's that possible?

Мультиязыковой проект Ильи Франка www.franklang.ru

37

John was driving when a policeman pulled him over (Джон вел машину, когда

38

полицейский его остановил). He rolled down his window and said to the officer (он

опустил стекло и сказал офицеру), "Is there a problem, Officer? (какая-то

проблема, офицер)"

"No problem at all (абсолютно никаких проблем). I just observed your safe driving

(я просто наблюдал за вашим безопасным (осторожным) вождением) and am

pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award (и рад наградить вас Премией за

безопасное вождение в 5000 долларов). Congratulations (поздравляю). What do

you think you're going to do with the money? (что вы думаете делать с деньгами)"

John thought for a minute (подумал минутку) and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that

driver's license (ну, я думаю, я пойду получу /все же/ водительские права)."

John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his

window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"

"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to

award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you

think you're going to do with the money?"

John thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that

driver's license."