2. How to change somebody’s mind

Believe me, it's not easy! And sometimes, it doesn't work at all.

Remember, I'm a writer, not a psychologist. So the methods shown here come mostly from writers and speakers who've successfully altered perceptions through presentations and persuasive reports.

1. Wear the other person's shoes - Ask questions to find out why someone holds a completely different view from yours.

2. Ask that person to amplify his/her position - Are your opponent's views based on actual data, or on disputed or second-hand information that might be challenged?

3. If that person's views are based on data, is the source of that data credible?

4. What common positions do you hold? Politicians can often win a hostile audience by first discussing values everyone shares. If we can agree on common goals, perhaps readers/listeners will follow us when we lead them down new pathways.

5. Can some position be compromised? In negotiations, I often give away a small point in order to show willingness to arrive at an agreement.

6. Point out your side's best points. Remember the fence-painting episode from "Tom Sawyer"? Tom makes his task seem so appealing his friends offer him all sorts of prizes if he'll let them participate.

7. Speaking of "good points" - Sometimes negotiation can become a "listing" contest. Can you reinforce your position by listing a number of positive things about your proposal? Example: "Ten reasons you should vote for Proposition A."

By Rix Quinn, the author of the book "Words That Stick".

3. Making the deal: Women as negotiators

Negotiating is no game. It is not for the weak or the fragile. It takes assertiveness and someone who feels comfortable in the mano-a-mano world of business. Can women negotiate the deal as well as their male counterparts? Absolutely! In some cases, they may even do a better job. Women have a definite edge at the negotiating table because of their instincts and natural power of persuasion.

Women usually look for a win/win in negotiations. In Getting to Yes, the classic book on negotiation by the Harvard Negotiation Project, it was reported that the win/win strategy work best in negotiations. In order to avoid future resentments, all parties should come away feeling good about the resolution of a problem.

Traditionally, it is thought that whoever is on the other side in negotiations is the adversary. However, women tend to want to develop a relationship with the other person and take into account the needs and difficulties of sides. Women both also tend to collaborate and help one another if problems arise.

What traditional businesses have missed for far to long is the understanding that personal relationships, not the contract, profit margin, or delivery date is what give one the competitive edge. Historically, women have been seen as poor negotiators because they are influenced by the other party's situation. But if the truth were told women will more often than not work with their adversaries to reach a solution that is good for everyone involved.

Negotiating is a critical skill for all women aspiring to succeed in the business world. For those women who feel they are not good negotiators, they simply need to remember their natural talent of persuasion. Keep in mind even good negotiators will sometimes make mistakes. The key to avoiding these mistakes are: (1) attack the problem and not your adversary; (2) try to come up with several options; (3) never treat negotiations as a contest; (4) never threaten and (5) never give in to something that is contrary to what you believe is ethical.

The playing field for women in this arena has never been level. But women who have empowered themselves with the skills, knowledge, and confidence to negotiate at top levels have chosen a path that ultimately challenge the entrenched structures which have always hampered them. Women from childhood have been conditioned to be excellent negotiators. So ladies, do not be afraid to step up to table and negotiate with the big boys. Master the art of negotiating, use it with confidence, and the only limits to what you can achieve will be those placed upon yourself.

By Ms. Lewis, a President and CEO of the Deline Institute for Professional Development and an Adjunct Professor at National-Louis University, where she teaches Human Resource Management; a member of the Professional Woman Network and Professional Woman Speakers Bureau; the National Association of Female Executives.