It was driving her crazy.

Every day she called the cell phone and the apartment, hoping that she might catch the tall woman. She cursed the fact that Dez had no answering machine. She had finally mailed a card. That had been four days ago, and still, no word.

The chilly morning air cooled her skin, and she shivered. Her hand ached, and the cast on her wrist felt itchy. She hated the damn thing, wanted to saw it off and throw it out the window. She counted down the number of days until the doctor would cut it off permanently and she could get back to normal.

Pulling the covers up, she curled into a fetal position, and for the first time, she began to consider what would happen if she had driven the dark-haired woman away for good. Lately she had not been able to stop thinking about it, instead berating herself over and over. Now that she was less angry herself, she let herself think about the scene at the hospital. The look that Dez had had on her face when she turned and left - she couldn't get it out of her head. Pain. That was what Jaylynn had seen. Stark, unmitigated pain. Now that she let herself realize the way they had affected the tall woman, she wished she could call back the harsh words, but it was too late. Dez had sped out of the room before she could gather her thoughts. Who am I trying to kid? I was too indignant to even realize it at the time.

She looked at her bedside clock. 10:20 a.m. Time to get up and move around. In less than two hours, at 12:15, she was due at the doctor's to have her wrist checked and a new cast applied. The thought of another cast made her want to throw something. Then before she went in to work at the main station, she had a final follow-up session with the seventh graders at Como High School to quiz them on holds and releases. It wasn't as much fun to teach self-defense without a partner. For one thing, she had to work extra hard to explain things since she didn't have an experienced person to illustrate it, and with her bad hand, there were many things she couldn't do herself. Each time she showed up at the school, the pack of twelve and thirteen-year-olds were disappointed that she was not accompanied by the taciturn cop with the abs of steel. She had told them over two weeks ago that Dez had taken a vacation. Since this was the last day teaching self-defense, she knew they would all be dissatisfied that they never got to say goodbye to the dark-haired woman.

She rolled out of bed and gathered clothes to wear for the day. She needed to go down to the kitchen and get a plastic bag to put around the cast so she could shower. God, what a pain! I am just sick of this.

Her clean uniforms were at work, so all she needed to do was find something suitable to wear to and from the station. It took her several minutes to find a clean t-shirt. She hadn't done any laundry since - well, since when? How long had it been? She couldn't remember when. Dez had taken to doing loads of wash down in the basement quite some time back, and Jaylynn had relinquished the task without a second thought.

Her eyes filled with tears, and wearing only her sleeping shorts and a flannel pajama shirt, she settled back against the edge of the bed. She was tired. She was sick and tired of waiting, of not knowing. She was tired of being alone, and she was tired of her heart hurting like this. She was also mad that she had had to buy her plane ticket to Seattle to go be with her family for the Christmas holiday. She had wanted the tall woman to accompany her, but she and Dez had never talked about that, and now it was too late. She'd had to book the flight 14 days in advance - or she would have ended up paying an exorbitant amount.

After a minute, she rose and blotted her tears on her sleeve, then gathered up her clothes and hauled them with her to the bathroom where she got ready to take a shower and try to wash away her sadness.

* * *

Dez and Dewey picked up a piece of 4x8 foot drywall and set it on an inch tall board that ran along the base of the wall in Cabin H. Water damage had ruined the wall outside the bathroom, and she had taken great enjoyment in using a sledgehammer and pry bar to pull down the old wall. Now they were hanging the new piece of sheetrock and getting ready to mud and sand the entire wall. She liked how Dewey had named the cabins alphabetically. No hokey names for him. The Dreamwater Special. Kingfisher's Haven. Sweet Hibiscus. Nothing like that would do. They were labeled A, B, C, D, and so on. Easy to remember, and all in their order of appearance in relation to his cabin.

She had been working with Dewey on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and the weekends, and the other three days per week she ventured down to St. Paul for her therapy appointments. She wasn't missing any of her possessions, and she usually didn't even bother to go by her apartment. So far, the only thing she missed was Jaylynn. Well, she missed Luella a little, too, but she was used to going a couple weeks at a time and not seeing her landlady. Jaylynn was another story. The day before she had finally broken down and sent a postcard from the tiny little post office in Lutsen. On it, she scrawled, "Thinking of you - truly. People always say that on postcards, but I really mean it. Love, Dez."

Dez thought about the blonde a lot and was sorry about how things had ended. She wanted to contact her, but she didn't yet feel ready. Besides, she was still afraid Jaylynn would turn away from her and send her off like that terrible day in the hospital. She broke out in a light sweat just thinking of it.