In a flat voice, she answered, "Same dream as always. Same scary shit."

"Not a replay of Nielsen’s attack?"

"No." Jaylynn shifted so that her head was against her partner’s shoulder and she was lying pressed up against the right side of the tall woman’s body. She put her leg over Dez’s right thigh and held on tight. "I’ve been having these same dreams ever since I was a kid. It’s like these horrible, giant, alien monsters are chasing me and getting closer and closer, and trying to rip me to pieces and devour me."

"Sounds a little familiar. I was just having a similar dream - only my monsters are more human sized."

"This one was a double whammy because I climbed up and up in this building, trying to get away, and finally I was on the roof, running fast as I could. I looked over the side and the whole thing was going up in flames. I had to choose - jump into the smoke below or stay and burn to death, and all the while, I could hear the monsters’ footsteps and this deep growling. So I jumped, but then one of the aliens was waiting below with the same old blood and guts all over his teeth and jaws. As soon as I jumped, I just knew he’d be there. He’s always there, and I couldn’t figure out why I was so stupid that I had jumped again. I’m falling and falling, and it scares me shitless, but there isn’t anything I can do."

"You’ve had this dream since you were a kid?"

"Something similar."

"Did something happen in your childhood to provoke this?"

"I watched Sigourney Weaver in Alien in grade school. Apparently, that was all it took. My parents were pretty mad that I’d done that, because I’ve been having nightmares for years."

"Hmm." The dark-haired woman lay on her back, thinking of her own bad dreams as she stroked Jaylynn’s back through the sleep shirt the smaller woman wore. "I didn’t used to have trouble sleeping at all - not until Ryan died. I’d pay a lot of money to sleep the way I used to."

"You and me both. Guess I’ll have to go back to my old fantasy and utilize it." She lifted her head a little and tried to look into Dez’s eyes in the shadowy light. There was enough illumination for her to see the thoughtful look on the taller woman’s face. "Hey, how’s your eye feeling?"

"I think it’s better than the way your face looks. You’ve got the beginnings of two of the biggest shiners I’ve ever seen." She lifted a hand to touch the side of the blonde’s face and caress her cheek tenderly. "What fantasy?"

"What?"

"The fantasy you use."

"Oh, you mean for bad dreams?" Dez nodded, and Jaylynn let her head drop back down against the cotton sleepshirt that the dark-haired woman wore. "It’s sort of embarrassing to admit."

"Good," Dez mumbled. "It’s your turn to embarrass yourself anyway."

Jaylynn giggled. "It’s just that it’s sort of juvenile. When I was having these dreams as a kid, my Auntie Lynn came to visit. She’s a psychotherapist, you know, and she taught me some guided visualization stuff to think of before I fell asleep and to try to incorporate into my dreams if I could."

"What kind of visualization stuff?"

"That’s kind of the embarrassing part. I would visualize a hero, someone to protect me, and then if the monsters showed up, all I had to do is call for help and ask them to come."

"So you imagined what - Ghostbusters?"

"No. I imagined you."

"Huh?" She tipped her head to the side and tried to see Jaylynn’s face, but the blonde was pressed too closely against her chest for her to examine her expression.

The rookie went on, her voice slow and thoughtful. "I didn’t know if I ever wanted to admit this to you because it sounds so bizarre. But you’ve already got a good idea of all my strange quirks, so you may as well know one more. The hero I created had long black hair and looked and felt and sounded just like you do. I let her save me practically every night. I got so used to seeing my hero that I almost enjoyed the bad dreams. I loved it when this tall, strong woman showed up. She was really fierce and absolutely fearless."

Dez let out a snort of laughter. "Well, it wasn’t me, then. I might have a little fierceness in me, but no way am I absolutely fearless."

"Hey, Miss Prince Valiant, you are one of the bravest people I know."

"Yeah, right."

Jaylynn pulled away and sat up. "I’m not kidding, Dez. To have gone through all you have experienced - well, that’s taken some real courage. You face your fears. None of us are really fearless, except maybe in fantasy, but you don’t let that stop you."

Dez wasn’t so sure about that. She’d felt like a great big chicken lately, and one of the major strong emotions she had been dealing with felt like plain old fear. "I wouldn’t put it that way, Jay. I’m not fearless. Besides, you didn’t even know me when you did this visualization stuff."

The blonde swung her leg over the bigger woman and straddled her hips, then lowered her upper body. With her elbows on either side of the dark-haired woman’s head, she shifted until she was comfortable, her face close to her partner’s. "The moment I saw you, for the very first time, in Sara’s room, I was electrified. I knew it was you, my dream hero. I can’t explain it. I can’t prove it. But I believed it then, and I still believe it now."

Dez peered up at her through her one good eye. She lifted her hands, put them on Jaylynn’s ribcage and slid them down to her hips, then worked her hands up under the t-shirt, feeling the warm skin at the blonde’s waist. "If I’m such a great hero, how come you’re still having the bad dreams?"

Jaylynn shivered. "I don’t know." Her head dropped into the hollow at the right side of Dez’s neck, and she held on tight. "I guess I haven’t been doing a very good job visualizing in my dreams since you’re right here in my waking life."

* * *

They had fallen asleep again, and when Jaylynn woke up later in the morning, the sun was shining in through the small window over the bed. She heard a clunking noise from somewhere below her, and then the distant sound of water running, so she knew either Luella or Vanita - or both - were up and about. She extricated herself from Dez’s embrace and tiptoed over to use the bathroom, then washed her hands and face, and stood looking at herself in the mirror. A dark purple bruise the size of a dime adorned her right cheekbone, and above that, she saw two pale plum-colored circlets under her eyes. Both eyes were pink and bloodshot, and when she surveyed the state of her face, she had to admit that she looked awful. Puffy, swollen skin around her eyes and brows and an especially pale face contributed to making her look tired and wrung out. Oh well. I don’t feel so bad, though I do look terrible. It’s not as wretched as it appears, though.

She still had a bit of a headache, but it wasn’t the pulsatingly painful kind. With a little food and liquid, she figured she’d be ready to roll by noon. She stepped into the living room area and looked across the space to the bed on the far wall where the dark-haired woman lay sleeping on her back, her face turned away from the light coming in the little window. It wasn’t like Dez to sleep longer than her partner, but Jaylynn figured there was some heavy duty healing going on, and she wouldn’t begrudge her any rest.

She stood in front of the couch and rooted around in a pile of clean laundry until she came up with one of Dez’s sweatshirts and a pair of dark blue sweatpants, which bagged on her when she slipped them over her bare legs. She pulled the white drawstring tight and looped it into a snug bow, then found some thick socks. After tugging the sweatshirt on over her sleep shirt, she paused a moment to examine the dark-haired woman as she lay sleeping so peacefully. She didn’t show any signs of waking, so the blonde crept from the room, through the kitchen, and to the back door to head down the stairs.

Later in the day, they were supposed to stop by Colette Reilly’s house so that Dez’s eye could be re-checked. Jaylynn didn’t think the tall cop needed another exam, but she did think that a certain mother and daughter needed a good excuse to be in one another’s company. In the hospital, the night before, she had observed the desperation Dez’s mother had been trying to conceal when she first arrived. It wasn’t until Colette and Dr. Lefsky had ascertained that the eye injury was only mildly serious that the older woman had relaxed. Jaylynn didn’t think that if she were a doctor she would ever want to examine her own wounded child, but Colette Reilly had done an admirable job, remaining calm and focused. Only the closest observer would have detected the slight tremble of her hand or the almost imperceptible crack in her professional demeanor.

But watching Dez the night before was even more revealing. The big woman drank up her mother’s attention as though it were water at an oasis in the Sahara. At one point, Jaylynn could have sworn that her partner teared up and was going to cry - and not from pain either.

And then after they’d finished the exams, the x-rays, and the stitching, the tall woman had received nothing short of a hero’s welcome in the waiting room when they went to leave. Lt. Finn, Tsorro, and Mac had been speaking to one another over in the corner, and Patrick and Monique stood, arms around each other, looking out the window into the parking lot. When the sliding glass door from the E.R. bay opened, and mother and daughter emerged with Jaylynn in tow, Dez was hugged by everyone, even Tsorro. The blonde watched. Despite the fact that her head was pounding and her eyes watered, it was clear that the Reilly clan loved their black sheep daughter. How Dez could think any differently was a real mystery to the rookie.

She made it to the bottom of the cold stairwell and tapped on Luella’s back door. When she heard a voice call out, "Come in," she turned the knob and stepped in to the fragrant aroma of cocoa. "In here," she heard Luella say.

Standing in the kitchen doorway, Jaylynn smiled. The two women sat at the little kitchen table in the corner, drinking from steaming hot mugs. "Hey, Luella, Van, how are you both this morning?"