Vocabulary notes

adolescence

empathy

abuse

trust

honesty

to establish

appreciate

to strengthen

Insufficient

accept

- юность

- эмпатия

- оскорбление

- доверие, вера

- честность

- устанавливать

- ценить

- усиливать

- недостаточный

- принимать, допускать

Group memberships and friendships are especially important during adolescence. As students become less dependent on family groups, they rely on peers to share their feelings and to try out new roles. The development of friendship requires certain skills, including:

• trust

• honesty

• empathy

• the ability to keep secrets

• loyalty

• understanding

• communication

Everyone has many different relationships. Some relationships are with family members, some are with friends and some are love relationships. Each relationship is different, and all relationships change over time as the people within them grow and develop. Most relationships contain a combination of healthy and unhealthy characteristics.

Characteristics of Healthy Relationships.

Each partner feels whole without the other even though the two people enjoy being together. Each partner communicates effectively and honestly. In a healthy relationship, both partners accept the other as he or she is. There are no unrealistic expectations or attempts to control the other person. In healthy relationships, both partners recognize and appreciate change. Both partners have established healthy, comfortable limits based on their own standards. There is a balance between togetherness and the separate lives of each partner.

Characteristics of Unhealthy Relationships.

One person may expect the partner to fulfill all needs (dependency). One or both partners may be jealous and demand complete devotion. Control is another unhealthy characteristic. One or both partners may need to dominate the other person and the relationship. Selfishness may be a part of an unhealthy relationship. Selfishness is taking care of one's own comfort, pleasure or interest excessively or without regard for others.

The last characteristic that may exist in unhealthy relationships is abuse. The abuse may involve emotional and/or physical mistreatment.

When unhealthy characteristics exist within a relationship, partners may choose to work toward making the relationship healthier. However, both partners must be willing to make efforts to overcome the negative characteristics of the relationship. Counseling services within schools and communities help families and couples strengthen their relationships.

Signs of Relationship Problems.

When relationships are in trouble, some common signs indicate problems, including:

• poor communication

• unresolved conflicts

• insufficient time spent together

• emotional or physical abuse

Poor communication: if partners have poor communication, they may fail to communicate with one another or fail to use effective talking and listening skills.

Unresolved conflicts: poor communication may lead to unresolved conflicts.

Insufficient time spent together: the amount or quality of time spent together may be insufficient to support feelings of closeness and connection between the partners.

Emotional or physical abuse: emotional or physical abuse is always a sign of problems within a relationship.

Signs of Abuse.

A person within an abusive relationship would answer yes to several of the following questions.

• Are you afraid of making your partner angry?

• Are you afraid to disagree with your partner?

• Do you need permission to do things or go places without your partner?

• Are you afraid your partner will hurt you? (emotionally or physically)

• Are you afraid to end your relationship with your partner?

Begin by telling the person why you are ending the relationship. Be sure to use I-messages to focus on what you think and how you feel. Don't blame or accuse the other person. For example: "When I remember all the problems we have, I want to end our relationship, because I don't want to fight any more" is better than, "You don't get along with anyone and you never will." Be clear and firm about your decision and communicate how you feel.

Both parties should be prepared for uncomfortable feelings. Any change causes stress and old patterns take time to change. You can get help with these feelings by getting support from your family and friends. Let them know how you are feeling and that you need their understanding.

EXRECISE 1.

Make up sentences with the words from Glossary.

EXRECISE 2.

Fill in the gaps with prepositions

1. As students become less dependant ___ family groups, they rely __ peers to share their feelings and to try __ new roles.

2. __a healthy relationship both partners accept the other as he or she is.

3. Emotional or physical abuse is always a sign __ problems __ a relationship.

4. Are you afraid __ making your partner angry?

5. Are you afraid __ disagree __ your partner?

6. Do you need permission to do things or go places __ your partner?

7 Be sure to use I-messages to focus __ what you think and how you feel.

8. You don’t get __ __ anyone and you never will.

9. Both parties should be prepared __ uncomfortable feelings.

EXRECISE 3.

Give adjectives to characterize relationships between partners

EXRECISE 4.

Make up sentences with the following pairs of words

Personal – interpersonal

Sufficient – insufficient

Resolved – unresolved

Comfortable – uncomfortable

Healthy – unhealthy

Honest – dishonest

EXRECISE 5.

Retell the text according to the plan:

1. Skills for the development of friendship.

2. Characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships

3. Relationship Problems.

4. Abusive Relationship.

EXRECISE 6.

Put down 10 questions of different kinds to the text and ask your groupmates to answer them.

EXRECISE 7.

Speak about your own experience of making friendly relationships. Did you have any problems?

EXRECISE 8.

Write an essay on the problems raised in the text.

Text 2 Communication Styles