I Need You Now

My friend, I need you now

Please take me by the hand.

Stand by me in my hour of need,

Take time to understand.

Take my hand, dear friend,

And lead me from this place.

Chase away my doubts and fears,

Wipe the tears from off my face.

Friend, I cannot stand alone.

I need your hand to hold,

The warmth of your gentle touch

In my world that's grown so cold.

Please be a friend to me

And hold me day by day.

Because with your loving hand in mine,

I know we'll find the way.

My grandma’s bank robber

Kitty Currie is everyone’s favourite grandma. She in sixty-eight years old has snow-white hair and always wears a pink cardigan and carries a dig handbag. She likes knitting and looking after her five lovely grandsons. But she’s not looking after them at the moment. Kitty Currie has gone to prison! Two months ago. Kitty, who lives in the village of Bovdon in Devon, robbed a bank! She look her grandson’s toy gun, put a stocking over her face, and walked into Barelays Bank. She pointed the gun at the cashier and asked for some the gun at the eashier and asked for some money. The cashier gave her 20. Kitty smiled, said”Thank you very much”, and left. The cashier called the next street. The money, the gun, and the stocking were all in her bang.

Kitty says, “I got married when I was sixteen. All my live I’ve looked after my home and I’ve had a happy life but. I’ve never even had a job. Now I’m famous. I’ve been on TV and in the newspapers! But I’m not going to rob another bank!

The first miss world

Alice Hyde is ninety-seven years old and she always watches the Miss World competition on TV. She likes to remember the year 1911, when she became the very first Miss World. It was wonderful. My picture was in the best magazines and on postcards. I received hundreds of letters. A lot of men wanted to marry me! Best of all, Charlie Chaplin wrote from America and invited me to Hollywood. I really wanted to go there and be a film star, but my parents said no.

Instead, in 1912, Alice married Charlie Hyde, a boy from her home town in the north of England. They had five children, four sons and a daughter. When Charlie retired they moved to Spain and they lived there until Charlie died. Alice came back to England and bought an antique shop where she worked until last year. I’ve had a wonderful life. I’ve traveled. I’ve lived abroad. I’ve never been to Hollywood but I don’t regret that. I’ve known true love. My Charlie was the best husband in the world! I’m still healthy and active I’ve just done my exercises and I’m going to Spain for my summer holiday!

Translate into Russian

Everything was better when we were younger. It seems to me that they are building staircases steeper than they used to be. May be this is because it is so mush father today from the first to the second floor, but I’ve noticed it is getting harder to make two steps at a time any more.

Another thing I’ve noticed is the small print they are using lately. Newspapers are getting father than it used to be. It’s twice the distance from my house to the station now. Trains leave sooner, too. I’ve given up running for them because they faster these day when I try to catch them.

A lot of other things are different lately. Revolving doors revolve mush faster than they used to. I let a couple openings go past me before I jump in. It’s the same with golf, I’m giving it up because these modern golf balls they sell are so pick up.

Even the weather is changing. It’s colder in winter and the summers are hotter than they used to be. Snow is heavier when I try to shovel it, and I pit on rubbers whenever I go out, because rain today is wetter than the rain used to get. Draughts are more severe, too. It must be the way they build windows now.

People are changing, too. They seem to be more polite than in my time. They call me “Sir” and help me cross streets.

While I was shaving this morning, I stopped for a moment and looked at my own reflection in the mirror. They don’t seem to use the same kind of glass in mirrors any more.

(By Corey Ford “How to guess your age”)

Age and Youth

Crabbed Age and Youth

Cannot live together:

Youth is full of pleasance,

Age is full of care;

Youth like summer morn,

Age like winter weather;

Youth like summer brave,

Age like winter bare.

Youth is full of sport,

Age’s breath is short;

Youth is nimble, Age is lame;

Youth is hot and bold,

Age is weak and cold;

Youth is wild and Age is tame.

Youth, I do adore thee!

What would you say of a person:

1. Who always says what he thinks?

2. Who never boasts?

3. Who is always ready to share what he has got with others?

4. Who is found of praising himself?

5. Who always achieves his aim?

6. Who is hard to get along with?

7. Who is easily hurt?

8. Who grasps things easily?

9. Who makes friends easily?

10. Who is never shy with stranger?

11. Who works a lot?

12. Who can not behave?

13. Who never says what’s on his mind?

14. Who cannot be trusted?

15. Who you cannot rely?

16. Who easily obeys other people’s withes, orders?

17. Who refuses to obey or accept orders?

18. Who feels or shows kindness?

19. Who is peasant and friendly?

20. Who doesn’t show any personal opinion?

21. Who suspects that one cannot be trusted?

22. Who is interested only in his own thoughts?