Сomputer: man or woman?

A French teacher was explaining to her college class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. House is feminine "la maison." Pencil is masculine "le crayon."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups - male and female - and (to ask) them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender (la computer) because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review; and

4. As soon as you have made a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (le computer) because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you have committed to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

C. Ask questions indicated in the brackets. All the sentences are passive.

1. What shops is such equipment sold in? 2. When must these files be returned? 3. How was this picture gallery destroyed? 4. In how many days can this work be done? 5. What will the money be spent on? 6. Whom are such questions often asked by? 7. When will the post be delivered? 8. What has been planted in her garden? 9. Who was the telephone invented by? 10. Where is rice grown? 11. What is being built on Elm Street? 12. Who must this report be signed by? 13. By what time will these data have been collected?

D. Use the words in the brackets to form a word that fits in each space. The first one is done for you.

a) I have to bring a matter to your attention (attend). Unfortunately we have received a lot of complaints (complain) from customers about late delivery (deliver) of parcels. I have come to the conclusion (conclude) that the new system we introduced last month is a complete failure (fail). This seems to be due to a combination (combine) of factors, but one of the most important ones is that some employees (employ) are not very responsible. The union representatives (represent) say it’s not the workers but the managers (manage) who are at fault. What is clear is that we have to improve communication (communicate) within the company. Nowadays there’s a lot of competition (compete) in the messenger service industry and we can’t afford to be less than the best.

b) Although my two sisters and I have different (differ) mothers, we are definitely alike (like). This is not just a matter of appearance (appear), though we are all small with curly hair and a tendency (tend) to overeat (eat) and put on weight. The resemblance goes much further than that. Throughout our childhood (child) we were brought up to be very adaptable (adapt) and our ability to accept change is another characteristic (character) we share. Another would be shyness (shy). We all hate parties where you have to walk into a roomful (room) of strange faces. Being unconscious (conscious) like this means we are all interested in wearing fashionable (fashion) clothes. We often share our clothes. Unfortunately (fortunate) it causes arguments. We really should come to some agreement (agree) about who can borrow what from whom – and when.

E. Focus on phrasal verbs. Fill in the gaps with the correct form of the phrasal verbs below:

switch on / plug in / turn up / break down / blow up

Here are some handy tips for avoiding work if you use a computer.

1. Unplug the computer, then press the power button to switch it on . Phone the I.T. department to complain that the computer doesn’t work. It will take them at least 15 minutes to arrive and discover that the computer has not been plugged in . In this time you’ll be able to have a cigarette or a cup of coffee.

2. Leave a note for the cleaners saying that your computer is very dirty and needs to be washed with soap and water. However, be careful when you switch it on the next day because it will probably blow up .

3. Make sure you keep paper clips and elastic bands on a shelf above the printer. It will then be very easy for them to ‘accidentally’ fall into the printer, causing it to break down when you try to print something.

4. Make sure that you are the last person to leave on Friday. Go to the room where the network server is kept and turn up the heating to maximum. By Monday the server will have over-heated, and, with luck, it will take the IT department the rest of the day (or even the rest of the week) to replace it.

5. If you try all 4 of the above tips in the same week, you will probably be sacked. This will mean you can avoid work permanently.