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(Ceylan et al., 2016). Others maintain that the unconscious consists of material that is not brought to awareness, or else is forgotten, for strictly cognitive reasons (Barbosa, Vlassova, & Kouider, 2017; Greenwald, 1992; Kihlstrom, Barnhardt, & Tataryn, 1992).
As discussed throughout this book, psychologists today are busily studying a wide range of unconscious processes such as perception without awareness, implicit learning and memory, subliminal influences, and implicit social stereotypes. Throughout the course of several experiments, Pyszczynski and colleagues (2015) have found that when people are confronted with fleeting thoughts of death—a source of anxiety that Freud wrote about—they engage in a host of defensive processes, desperately trying to suppress thoughts about their own mortality. According to their provocative terror-management theory, this deeply rooted fear of death highly motivates people to consider themselves as valuable members of society, to believe their own cultural worldviews as good and correct, and to harbor contempt and prejudice for others who are different. Major and colleagues (2016) suggested that terror-management-theory be integrated into psychotherapy.
This leads us to a second enduring legacy of Freud’s theory: his analysis of defense mechanisms. Based on the resistance shown by so many of his patients, Freud argued that people distort reality to ward off anxiety. Research shows that he was absolutely right. Some of us may be more defensive than others, but everyone harbors illusions about the self. We perceive ourselves in inflated terms, we have an exaggerated sense of control over uncontrollable events, we compare ourselves to others who are less fortunate, and we think more optimistically than we should about our own future—and these illusions may help us cope with adversity (Taylor & Armor,
1996). These forms of coping are defense mechanisms much like those Freud had described (Baumeister, Dale, & Sommer, 1998; Cramer, 1998). Indeed, Phebe Cramer (2000, 2015) notes that Freud’s view of unconscious defense mechanisms is now supported throughout psychology in various studies of attention, thinking, feeling, memory, psychopathology, denial, and coping without awareness.
LEARNING CHECK
Mixed Sigmund
Try to repress any slips as you match each Freudian term in the left column to its closest description in the right column.
(Answers: 1. c; 2. k; 3. j; 4. g; 5. d; 6. b; 7. a; 8. i; 9. l; 10. h; 11. e; 12. f.)
THE COGNITIVE SOCIAL-LEARNING APPROACH LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Contrast psychoanalysis with the cognitive social-learning approach.
Describe the principles of learning that laid the foundation for an alternative
approach to personality.
Determine if you have an internal or external locus of control. Connect self-efficacy to wellness.
In contrast to psychoanalysis, cognitive social-learning theory is an approach that views personality as the product of a continuous interaction between persons and their environments. This theory has its roots in the behavioral principles of classical and operant conditioning, social-learning theory, and cognitive psychology. Let’s trace the evolution of this important approach.
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cognitive social-learning theory. An approach to personality that focuses on social learning (modeling), acquired cognitive factors (expectancies, values), and the person-situation interaction.
Principles of Learning and Behavior
As psychoanalysis was emerging in Europe, a second movement was being conceived in animal laboratories in the United States and Russia. At the time, animal researchers were discovering some very powerful principles of learning and were spreading the new word of behaviorism—a scientific approach to psychology that focuses on environmental determinants of observable behavior. To the hard-core behaviorist, personality was a nonscientific figment of the Freudian imagination. After all, behaviorists had refused to muddy the scientific study of behavior by speculating about inner states of “mind.” The first spokesperson for this countermovement was John Watson (1925), whose message was loud and clear:
Give me a dozen healthy infants, well-formed, and my own specified world to bring them up in, and I’ll guarantee to take any one at random and train him to become any type of specialist I might select—doctor, lawyer, artist, merchant-chief and, yes, even beggarman and thief, regardless of his talents, penchants, tendencies, abilities, vocations, and race of his ancestors. (p. 104)
At the same time that Freud was writing his classic book on dreams, animal researchers were discovering five simple but very powerful principles of learning: classical conditioning, operant conditioning, stimulus generalization, discrimination, and extinction (these are described more fully in the chapter on learning).
The first, classical conditioning, was based on Ivan Pavlov’s finding that the dogs in his laboratory would start to salivate before they were fed, in anticipation of the meal they were about to eat. By repeatedly pairing a sound with the presentation of food, Pavlov found that eventually the dogs would salivate as soon as they heard the noise even if food was not present. Thus, the animals were trained to react to a neutral stimulus that was associated with food, which is an unconditioned stimulus that naturally elicits the reaction. The second major principle was operant conditioning, first shown by Edward Thorndike’s finding that organisms repeat behaviors that are rewarded. Working with cats and, later, with humans, Thorndike found that whatever solution succeeded for a subject on one puzzle was later tried on other puzzles as well. A few years later, B. F. Skinner tested the effects of reinforcement schedules on behavior by training rats to press bars and pigeons to peck at keys for food.
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Even though this dog has not tasted the treat, it cannot help but salivate in anticipation. Pavlov used this natural response to his advantage when developing his theory of classical conditioning.
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Both classical- and operant-conditioning researchers made parallel discoveries not yet relevant to the study of personality. The first was stimulus generalization, the principle that once a response is learned in one situation, it may also be evoked in other, similar situations—as when Pavlov’s dogs learned to salivate to tones that were similar but not identical to the conditioned stimulus. The second, opposite principle is discrimination: the learned tendency to distinguish between a conditioned stimulus and other stimuli—as when a child learns that having tantrums works on parents but not on teachers and friends. The third principle is extinction, the tendency for a conditioned response to diminish if not reinforced. Pavlov’s dogs eventually stopped salivating to the buzzer if it was no longer followed by meat, and Skinner’s animals stopped pressing bars when food pellets were no longer forthcoming.
These principles of learning and behavior were momentous discoveries in psychology, the new science of behavior. But what did drooling dogs, puzzled cats, and key-pecking pigeons have to do with personality? In a crude first attempt to answer this question, John Watson and Rosalie Rayner (1920) conducted a well­known but ethically questionable demonstration. As described in the chapter on learning, Watson and Rayner brought a 9-month-old boy named Albert into contact with a harmless white rat, then repeatedly made a loud sound every time the boy reached for the animal. Soon poor Albert was terrified not only of the rat but of rabbits, dogs, and a white furry coat. Watson published this groundbreaking study at the age of 42, and it launched his career (Benjamin, Whitaker, Ramsey, & Zeve,
2007).
What was the point? Poking fun at Freud and his followers, Watson declared that one day a psychoanalyst would meet a man named Albert with a fur-coat phobia, analyze his dreams, and conclude that his fear is related to a scolding he received from his white-haired mother. Such were the pitfalls of a nonscientific approach to
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p pp personality, said Watson. Looking back, Mark Rilling (2000) notes an interesting paradox: Despite Watson’s anti-Freudian bias, Watson popularized psychoanalysis and pioneered the scientific study of its concepts.
Picking up where Watson’s behavior experiments left off, B. F. Skinner emerged as behaviorism’s most forceful and dedicated proponent. He coined the term operant conditioning, studied different schedules of reinforcement, and wrote about how these principles could be used to socialize children, increase worker productivity, extinguish behavioral disorders, and build a better society. As far as Skinner was concerned, personality is nothing more than a collection of behavior patterns acquired, maintained, and—if necessary—modified by one’s unique history of reinforcement. As a child, were you reinforced for staying quiet and keeping to yourself? If so, according to Skinner, that explains why you are introverted. Nothing more. Nothing less.
John Watson
JHU Sheridan Libraries/Gado / Contributor/Archive Photos/Getty Images
Social-Learning Theory
Although behaviorists offered a change of pace from psychoanalysis, many psychologists found their pointed focus on behavior too narrow and rejected their unwillingness to explore thoughts, feelings, motivations, and the richness and texture of the human personality. At the very least, it seemed that behaviorism had to be extended in two ways. Enter social-learning theory, an approach that examines the social and cognitive factors involved in learning and the development of personality. Leading the way were Albert Bandura, Julian Rotter, and Walter Mischel.
The first important extension was to account for the fact that people often acquire new behavior patterns without personal experience with reward and punishment. According to Bandura (1977), people learn by observing and imitating others, a process called modeling. Children, for example, absorb what their parents say and how they act, pay close attention to TV characters and sports heroes, and emulate
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peers whom they admire. Research shows that modeling is a multistep process: We observe, we learn, and we store in memory (learning). Then, if we are capable and motivated, and if the time is right, we imitate (performance). Bandura thus reminded us that learning takes place in a social context and that people can learn to become aggressive, helpful, fearful, moral, and so on by observing others.
modeling. The social-learning process by which behavior is observed and imitated.
The second important extension of behaviorism was to examine how our thoughts can influence the effects of reinforcement on behavior. Skinner had insisted that behavior is determined by actual reinforcement contingencies, but Julian Rotter (1954) argued that what matters is how we perceive, interpret, and value the rewards in our lives. According to Rotter, human behavior in any given situation is determined by two broad factors: our subjective expectancy that a specific act will be reinforced, and the value to us of that reinforcement, as illustrated in Figure 8.6. If you expect that reading the rest of this text will help you learn psychology and earn a high grade for the course—and if these outcomes strike you as desirable—you’ll probably read on. If you don’t expect to learn from this text, or if you don’t really care, this may be the last paragraph you read. As far as personality is concerned, Rotter and colleagues (1972) found that individuals differ both in the amount of control they expect to have over outcomes in their lives and in the kinds of outcomes they value.
Figure 8.6 Driven by Reinforcement
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Expanding on Rotter’s model, Walter Mischel (1973) proposed a cognitive social­learning theory. According to Mischel, it is important to consider five “person variables” to understand how individuals interact with their environment:
Competencies. Our mental and physical abilities, social skills, and creative
talents, all of which influence what we strive for and what we can do.
Encoding strategies. How we process information about other people and situations (for example, whether we tend to evaluate others in terms of their intelligence, friendliness, power, or physical appearance).
Expectancies. Our beliefs about the causes of success and failure and other possible consequences of our actions (there are two types of expectancies: whether we can perform a particular behavior, and whether it will be reinforced).
Subjective values. The kinds of outcomes we find more or less rewarding (for example, whether we strive for love, security, respect, or dominance).
Self-regulatory systems. Our ability to set goals, monitor and evaluate our progress, delay our short-term needs for gratification, and plan for the future.
Self-regulation is an important, highly adaptive person variable. In many years of research, Mischel and others (1989) have found that preschoolers who show they can defer their gratification in the laboratory—say, by waiting for a larger but delayed reward—grow up to become more competent, attentive, and deliberate; less likely to abuse substances or commit a crime; and better able to cope with real frustrations later in life (Moffitt et al., 2011; Moffitt, Poulton, & Caspi, 2013). In fact, the number of seconds a preschool child is willing to wait for two marshmallows—rather than settling for the one that is available immediately—is predictive of the child’s SAT scores in high school and body mass index as a 30-something-year-old adult (Schlam, Wilson, Shoda, Mischel, & Ayduk, 2013). Metcalfe and Mischel (1999) and Mischel (2014) have suggested that to exercise such self-control, or willpower, we must learn to use various cognitive strategies that enable us to override the “go” impulses that can lure us away from our long-term goals. One way to do this is by working on some task rather than waiting passively for a future reward. Other research has supported the implementation of a strategy to delay gratification but demonstrates that additional variables—impulsivity, planning, emotion regulation, cognitive ability, home environment, and family background—also play a role
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(Neuenschwander & Blair, 2017; Watts, Duncan, & Quan, 2018). This is why the ability to delay gratification isn’t necessarily a stable trait (Watts et al., 2018).
Locus of Control
According to cognitive social-learning theory, human behavior is influenced not by actual reinforcements, as Skinner had maintained, but by our perceptions of control. Think about it. Does getting ahead require hard work and persistence, or is it simply a matter of being in the right place at the right time? Can individuals influence government policies or global conflicts, or are we at the mercy of powerful leaders? And what about the quality of your health, friendships, and financial well-being—are you in control?
People who believe they have control over their own destinies tend to be more persistent, play an active role in politics, and use better coping mechanisms than those who don’t believe they have control over their own destinies.
iStock.com/KrisCole
According to Rotter (1966), individuals differ in their locus of control, defined as a generalized expectancy for the control of reinforcement. People who have an internal locus of control believe they are in charge of their own destinies. Those who have an external locus of control feel they are at the mercy of luck, fate, and powerful others. To assess these contrasting orientations, Rotter constructed the I-E Scale. Immediately, psychologists grasped the implications of having an internal or external locus of control. Over the years, many hundreds of studies using the I-E Scale were published. Studying people of different ages, cultures, and ethnic backgrounds, researchers found that internals, compared to externals, are more inquisitive, active, hardworking, and persistent. They are also more likely to take preventive health measures, play an active role in social and political affairs, get high grades in school, and cope actively with stressful life events (Lefcourt, 1982; Rotter, 1990; Strickland,
1989) such as marginalization and the transition into college (Llamas, Consoli, Hendricks, & Nguyen, 2018), psychological distress following bariatric surgery (Peterhänsel, Linde, Wagner, Dietrich, & Kersting, 2017), or a cancer diagnosis (Lima, Moret-Tatay, & Irigaray, 2021), shifts in social status (Becker & Birkelbach,
2018), and raising a child who has an intellectual disability (Rajan, Srikrishna, & Romate, 2018).
locus of control. The expectancy that one’s reinforcements are generally controlled by internal or external factors.
Although people differ in their locus of control, there are two important qualifications. The first is that it is entirely possible to have an internal orientation in some life situations but an external orientation in others. The I-E Scale asks about control expectancies for a wide range of domains—including health, academics, career pursuits, friendships, and remote political and social events. The second is that individuals also differ in the extent to which they want control. Some of us care more deeply than others about making our own decisions or having an influence over others. People with a strong desire for control—regardless of whether they are internal or external in their expectancies—are more likely to become stressed and upset in situations that make them feel helpless (Burger, 1991). However, when given even the illusion of control, those with a strong desire for it can have improved treatment outcomes (Geers et al., 2013).
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Is an expectation for control adaptive? At first glance, it seems that an internal orientation is the key to health, success, and emotional well-being—and a great deal of research supports this point (e.g., Mallers, Claver, & Lares, 2013; Marshall, 1991). In a classic study of nursing home patients, for example, 93 percent of those who by random assignment were given more control over minor daily affairs were happier, more active, and more alert when tested 18 months later (Rodin, 1986). But wait. Is an internal orientation always adaptive, or are there times when it’s better to perceive life’s reinforcements as beyond our command?
This is a tough question because there are two exceptions to the rule that it’s better to be internal than external. First, an internal orientation can cause problems when we don’t carefully distinguish between truly controllable and uncontrollable events. For example, people with an inflated sense of control are at risk of losing money gambling on games of pure chance (Langer, 1975). This inflated sense of control is an outcome that sports betting advertisements have seemed to rely on (Lopez-Gonzalez, Estévez, & Griffiths, 2017). And victims of sexual assault and other crimes suffer more distress when they blame themselves for having been careless or done something to provoke their attack (Donde & Ragsdale, 2017; Perilloux, Duntley, & Buss, 2014; Peter-Hagene & Ullman, 2016). Second, an internal orientation can cause problems if it leads us to develop an overcontrolling, stress-inducing style of behavior—whether that means always having the last word in an argument, driving from the back seat of a car, or planning every detail of a leisurely vacation. Sometimes it is better to practice acceptance and be in the moment, even when life’s stressors and your lack of control seem overwhelming. Relinquishing control and practicing mindfulness has been a helpful stress reducer for oil company executives (Mulla, Govindaraj, Polisetti, George, & More, 2017), persons with chronic illness (Rush & Sharma, 2016; Simpson, Byrne, Wood, Mair, & Mercer, 2017) and posttraumatic stress disorder (Woidneck, Morrison, & Twohig, 2013), and prison inmates (Samuelson, Carmody, Kabat-Zinn, & Bratt, 2007). On this point, Japanese psychologist Hiroshi Azuma (1984) offers these Japanese proverbs: “Willow trees do not get broken by piled-up snow” and “The true tolerance is to tolerate the intolerable.”
TRY THIS!
The Raisin Task: A Simple Exercise in Mindfulness
Can something as simple as focusing on a single bite of food be an exercise in mindfulness? We are pleased to tell you that it can (Hopthrow, Hooper, Mahmood, Meier, & Weger, 2017). The Raisin Task is centered on attending to your senses— sight, touch, taste, smell, and sound—for a total of at least 5 minutes. You have 5 minutes before your next commitment, right? To observe what it’s like to be present in the moment, TRY THIS: Set a timer to 5 minutes. Take a raisin (or any other small piece of food) and examine its texture. Look at how the skin folds. What color is it? Give the raisin a little pinch. How does it feel between your fingers? Smell the raisin. Does it smell sweet, tart, or slightly fermented? Now, put the raisin in your mouth and roll it around with your tongue. Allow the raisin to sit in your mouth for 1 minute before you place it between your teeth and bite into it. Chew slowly.
Next, prepare to swallow the raisin by focusing on what the muscles in your mouth and neck are doing. Put your hand gently on your neck, underneath your chin, and as you swallow, take notice of how your neck and areas underneath your jaw react. Finally, focus on the journey the raisin takes down your esophagus.
Write down a quick note that summarizes how you feel after the Raisin Task. Did you calm down a little bit? Were you more aware of how the raisin tasted than usual? Would you try this exercise again? Why or why not?
Self-Efficacy
As noted, locus of control refers to the expectation that our behaviors can produce satisfying outcomes. But people also differ in the extent to which they think they can perform these reinforced behaviors in the first place. These concepts seem related, but in fact they refer to different beliefs, both of which are necessary for us to feel that we control the outcomes in our lives (Skinner, 1996). According to Bandura (1997,
2011), the latter expectations are based on feelings of competence, or self-efficacy. Although some people are generally more confident than others, Bandura believes that self-efficacy is a state of mind that varies from one task and situation to another. In other words, you may have a high self-efficacy about meeting new people but not
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about raising your grades. Or you may have a high self-efficacy about speaking in public but not about writing a paper.
self-efficacy. The belief that one is capable of performing the behaviors required to produce a desired outcome.
Bandura (1997, 2011) believes the following: Since life is filled with impediments, adversities, setbacks, and frustrations, a personal sense of self-efficacy is essential for success. How do we gain a belief in our own efficacy? Bandura cites four sources: our own experiences successfully overcoming obstacles and failures; our observations of similar others who overcome obstacles to succeed; words of encouragement from family, friends, and others in our lives who urge us forward; and feelings of relaxation and calm rather than tension during performance.
Numerous studies of self-efficacy indicate that the more of it you have at a particular task, the more likely you are to take on an activity, try hard, persist in the face of failure, and succeed. The implications for health are particularly interesting (Sheeran et al., 2016)—self-efficacy matters. Research shows that college students’ locus of control over their health isn’t enough. They also need self-efficacy and social support to achieve healthy behaviors (Marr & Wilcox, 2015). Roddenberry and Renk (2010) also measured college students’ self-efficacy and analyzed how it related to stress and illness. They found a negative relationship between self-efficacy and physical symptoms—the lower the self-efficacy, the higher the level of physical symptoms. Roddenberry and Renk (2010) also found that general stress was positively related to reports of illness—the higher the student’s stress level, the more often the student reported days of being sick. Even law students who were optimistic about their abilities to be successful in earning their juris doctorate degrees had better immunity than those who were less optimistic about their success (Segerstrom & Sephton, 2010). People with a high self-efficacy on health-related matters are more likely to succeed—if they want, and temptations are not too great—to stop smoking (Pinsker et al., 2018; Simon et al., 2015), abstain from alcohol (Noyes et al., 2018; Shaw & DiClemente, 2016), or overcome other forms of substance abuse (Bandura, 1999; Litt & Kadden, 2015; Maddux, 1991). However, the value of high self-efficacy is not universal. The reason is because different cultures may emphasize others more than self (Klassen, 2004).
Perspectives on Cognitive Social-Learning Theory
Cognitive social-learning theorists believe that personality is rooted in the basic principles of learning. In contrast to psychoanalysis, this approach rests on the assumption that human behavior is derived more from external factors than from instincts and that personality is shaped by reinforcement, observation, and the development of learned abilities, expectancies, values, and information-processing strategies.
Although all learning-based theories of personality share this assumption, the more recent approach has come a long way from that taken by the hard-core behaviorists. In his facetious call for a dozen healthy infants, Watson claimed that he could mold people like clay through the use of reward and punishment. Years later, Skinner similarly argued that human behavior is shaped by external forces, by reinforcement contingencies beyond our awareness and control. Yet cognitive social­learning theorists maintain that personality emerges from an ongoing mutual interaction among persons, their actions, and their environments, a concept that Bandura calls reciprocal determinism, as illustrated in Figure 8.7. The point is that environmental forces may help shape personalities, but we can also choose and alter the situations we encounter and we can interpret these situations in light of our own points of view. In fact, Bandura (2001) sees human beings as not just reactive to outside forces, but as generative, creative, proactive, and reflective agents of change. “The capacity to exercise control over the nature and quality of one’s life,” he states, “is the essence of humanness” (p. 1).
reciprocal determinism. The view that personality emerges from a mutual interaction of individuals, their actions, and their environments.
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Description
Figure 8.7 Reciprocal Determinism
To measure personality, cognitive social-learning theorists use fairly direct forms of assessment. One method is behavioral observation, in which subjects are studied either in real-life settings or in the laboratory. Another involves asking subjects to report on their own expectancies, values, and past behaviors using standardized interviews or questionnaires like the I-E Scale. Whatever the specific technique may be, information about an individual is measured in ways that are direct and to the point. No inkblots, no fuzzy pictures. To those in hot pursuit of the unconscious, the cognitive social-learning approach is doomed to shed light on only the tip of the iceberg. To others, this approach permits the study of personality in a more straightforward manner.
THE HUMANISTIC APPROACH LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Investigate whether or not an interaction exists between self-actualization and unconditional positive regard.
List the tenets of a humanistic approach to personality. Connect Carl Rogers’s clinical observations to his theories about the self. Understand how self-discrepancies affect our emotional well-being. Describe how it feels to be self-actualized.
Faced with a choice between psychoanalysis and behaviorism, many personality psychologists in the 1940s and 1950s had the uneasy feeling that something was missing, something vital about human nature. Freud had drawn attention to the darker forces of the unconscious, and Skinner was interested only in the effects of reinforcement on observable behavior. But what about the conscious mind, free will, subjective experiences, and the capacity for self-reflection? If we want to know about someone, can’t we just ask? Are people really that mechanical? And isn’t there a brighter side to human nature? In short, where’s the person as we know it in personality? To fill the void, a “third force” was born—the humanistic theory of personality. Inspired by Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow, a group of psychologists founded the Association for Humanistic Psychology and adopted four basic principles: (a) The experiencing person is of primary interest; (b) human choice, creativity, and self-actualization are the preferred topics of investigation; (c) meaningfulness must precede objectivity in the selection of research problems; and (d) ultimate value is placed on the dignity of the person.
humanistic theory. An approach to personality that focuses on the self, subjective experience, and the capacity for fulfillment.
Carl Rogers
Carl Rogers was the first self-proclaimed humanistic theorist. He received his degree in 1931, the same year that B. F. Skinner got his. Like Freud, Rogers spent his early years as a therapist treating emotionally troubled “clients.” Yet unlike Freud, who was impressed by his patients’ efforts to resist their own cures, Rogers was struck by how often his clients reflected on who they were (“I’d like to be more independent, but that just isn’t me,” “I just haven’t been myself lately”) and by their
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natural will to get better and reach their full potential. True, Rogers saw signs of temporary resistance and other ego defense mechanisms. But he was much more impressed by the self-concept—and by the underlying will to improve. If therapists provide warmth, a gentle, guiding hand, and a climate of uncritical acceptance, he said, clients will ultimately solve their own problems and find the road to health, happiness, and fulfillment. As far as Rogers was concerned, there is in each of us an inner wisdom.
Rogers’s Theory
The seeds of a new and different approach to personality were planted in fertile ground. From a humanist’s standpoint, Rogers went on to develop client-centered therapy (1942) and a theory of personality, as described in his book On Becoming a Person (1961). According to Rogers, all living organisms are innately endowed with an actualizing tendency, a forward drive not only to survive but also to grow and reach their full genetic capacity. For thinking and feeling humans, there is also a natural need for self-actualization—a drive to behave in ways that are consistent with one’s conscious identity, inherent capabilities, or self-concept. So far, so good. But problems arise because we are social animals, born helpless and dependent on others for approval, support, and love. And therein lies the potential for conflict in the development of personality.
self-actualization. In humanistic personality theories, the need to realize and fulfill one’s unique potential.
Rogers believed that although humans are dependent on others for support, approval, and love, we are driven to grow.
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Because humans are driven by the need for self-actualization and the need for positive regard, one of two general outcomes is possible. If you’re fortunate enough to get unconditional positive regard from parents and significant others—that is, if the important people in your life are loving and respectful despite your failures and setbacks, no ifs, ands, or buts—then life is rosy. Your need for positive regard is met, giving you the green light to pursue the all-important need for self-actualization. However, if you are subject to conditional positive regard—that is, if your parents, spouse, and close friends withdraw their love when your actions and life choices don’t meet with their approval—then you get hung up trying to strike a balance between your true self and the kind of person others want you to become. The result: frustration, anxiety, and feelings of incongruence or “discrepancy” within the self. This theory is illustrated in Figure 8.8.
unconditional positive regard. A situation in which the acceptance and love one receives from significant others is unqualified.
conditional positive regard. A situation in which the acceptance and love one receives from significant others is contingent on one’s behavior.
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