Is it a good idea, and do I really want to do that?

And without a doubt, the answer resounding in her head, with each pound of a footstep, was yes, yes, yes. After leaving her parent’s home, she had lived in three different dorm rooms and then in the apartment above Luella. Getting ready to move to those four places had been a little exciting, but nothing like how she felt now. She thought about Vanita’s house, about having three bedrooms upstairs and one downstairs, a big kitchen, a roomy living room and dining room, a full basement where she could set up a workshop, and a nice yard where she and Jaylynn could grow plants and flowers. Sure, they’d have to rebuild that dinky garage, but that would be fun. She and Jaylynn could cook and eat and entertain and sleep together every day, every night, all the time. There would be room to grow, to laugh, to love, to wrestle, to grow old.

When she thought of it that way, the sadness she was feeling squeezed over into a corner of her heart. It was still there, but it was only a piece of all the feelings she had. She could still acknowledge that sometimes to gain something, she had to lose something, but what she was losing wasn’t as terrible as she had worried. I’ll still see Luella as much as I can. I’ll definitely be over there periodically helping with the yard and other things. And now Jaylynn can help, too. She’s good at painting, and hey, she can help me with the shingle job on Lu’s front porch. I’ll miss my old apartment - especially the whirlpool bath - but maybe we can install one at the new house.

The longer she thought about it, the more she became certain that there was no reason all of this would not work out just fine. In fact, she started to question why she had been worried. She reached the arch and turned right, heading at a slow jog down Como Avenue toward her landlady’s place. By the time she was a block away, she had slowed to a walk. All around her, the neighborhood was waking up. A newspaper boy rode along on a wobbly bike and threw the Pioneer Press toward houses, more often than not missing the porches. A woman dressed in a bulky jacket over a skirt, hose, and heels came out of the house across from Luella’s carrying a silver insulated coffee mug. The brown-haired woman gave a little wave, and Dez waved back, then she turned up the walk to her landlady’s place. Obviously, everyone was up. There were lights shining in every window, up and down. When Dez opened the back door, she could hear the trill of a whistle and smell something cinnamon-flavored. She kicked off her running shoes, removed her hat, and headed up the stairs.

* * *

The blonde woman woke slowly, light filtering into her consciousness ever so gradually, until she became aware of a shaft of bright light shining through the porthole of a window over Dez’s bed. The air was cold on her face and neck and she snuggled deeper in the blankets and quilts, then reached out to find the space next to her empty. She opened her eyes and surveyed the room. No Dez. She wasn’t in the bathroom, and she didn’t hear the tall woman in the kitchen either. Wonder where she is? Maybe downstairs with Luella and Vanita.

Jaylynn turned over on her side and looked at all the boxes stacked up in the middle of the room. It was hard to believe that this bare apartment had yielded so many packing cartons. They sat stacked four boxes high and three or four deep. Of course the books and videos and CD’s had taken up a lot of space, and who knew that Dez had packed away so many things under the eaves in the deep closets there. Some of those items were not easily boxed up - a backpack frame, a tent and poles, other camping gear, two toolboxes, a ladder, and various odds and ends. She was surprised to discover that Dez owned three times more things than she herself did. Where did she keep all that stuff? She’s just better at organizing than I am, that’s all.

With a groan, she sat up and slid out of bed. Barefoot, she hustled over to the thermostat and turned it way up, then went in to use the bathroom. When she emerged, hugging her flannel top, she scooted past the boxes, took a few running steps, and leapt back on the bed, grateful that it was still warm. She curled up under the blankets on Dez’s side of the bed, and once she got settled, looked toward the entertainment center to check the time, but the VCR player was packed and the stand was bare. She had no idea what time it was, but she could hear someone bustling around downstairs, and she smelled something sweet and breakfast-like, so she figured it couldn’t be too late. Besides, they had planned to start loading around ten a.m., and surely Dez would have awakened her if it was getting close to that time.

She took a deep breath and exhaled in a rush. Today is the day. She had thought that it would never come, and now that it was finally here, she decided she was a little bit nervous. She wasn’t sure what that was all about. Picking up her pillow, she stacked it on Dez’s and got comfortable with her back against it and the covers pulled up to her neck. She was glad that they had invited Sara, Bill, Crystal, and Shayna to come help them pack up the truck and then unpack at the new house. She hadn’t seen Sara, except in passing, for days and days, and she realized she missed her best friend. She hadn’t talked to Tim for three weeks either, though she had recently seen Kevin at his restaurant. It would be fun to have a few friends helping with the move. There was more to carry than either she or Dez had anticipated.

She rubbed her hands together and felt the metal on her finger press into her palm. Pulling her hand out from under the covers, she examined the band she wore on her left ring finger. She wasn’t used to wearing rings, but this one she had grown accustomed to quickly. Every time she looked at it, she felt a shiver of happiness. She liked to slide it off and look at the engraved inscription on the inside: You are my light – Love, Dez.

She smiled. I love this ring.

Her thoughts shifted to how life was going with her tall partner, and she considered how things had been the last couple of weeks. Settling in to work at the Police Academy had been much easier than she’d expected. Until mid-March when this class completed their training, she was assigned there full-time, and she came home each day physically and mentally fatigued from all the exercises and activity. She was thankful that the work assignment and the painting over at the new house had only overlapped by one day. It hadn’t been until the last two days that she had gotten over feeling stiff and sore. She ran and lifted weights and did calisthenics with the recruits, and she didn’t think it would be very inspiring if she complained or showed fatigue.

She was tired each night by ten, but Dez wasn’t always home by then. The dark-haired cop was working mostly Tour II days, but sometimes they had her on Tour III swing shift or late-starts that took her until after midnight or as late as two a.m. They both agreed they didn’t like having such divergent hours, but it was only a matter of time before Dez was transferring away from the Western Precinct. Jaylynn had worried about that, but Dez said she was fine with it, that she was ready for a change. In the meantime, they were getting by and trying to adjust to odd hours.

The blonde yawned and rolled over on her stomach, burying her head in the pillow. She wanted to go back to sleep, but she knew she should get up and get going. She started to shift onto her side when, without warning, she was clutched from behind and felt arms slip around her. A startled yelp came out of her mouth, but at the same time, the grip was familiar. The sound of the breath by her ear, the smell and the presence were all welcome. "How in the hell did you sneak up on me like that?" She managed to twist around so that she was looking up at the dark-haired woman who had piled on and was now smiling down at her. Dez’s face was pink from exertion, and though her clothes felt cold, she herself was emanating heat like a furnace.

"You’ve gotta be half-deaf. I strolled up here noisy as you please." She shifted to the middle of the bed and turned on her side, up on one elbow. With her free hand, she unzipped her jacket and wrestled her arm from the sleeve, but before she could get the other arm out, the blonde reached over, grabbed her and pulled her tight. Dez shifted so that she was lying half over the prone woman, and then Jaylynn kissed her.

"Brr. Your face is cold, Dez."

"Mmm, and yours is warm for a change."

"In contrast to yours, I’m a heating pad."

"Believe me when I tell you I’m plenty warm." She wriggled her other arm out of the jacket, leaving the skintight, insulated shirt.

"You’re also damp."

"Yeah, this shirt wicks away the sweat."

"Where’ve you been?"

"I took a little run around the lake. I needed some exercise."

"Why didn’t you wake me up to go?"

Dez laughed. "I think you’ve had enough exercise lately. Besides, me coming in late last night woke you up. I thought you might need the sleep. I got up and made all sorts of noise, and you didn’t budge."

Jaylynn didn’t know how that could be. She always thought she slept moderately lightly. Noises in the night woke her up, but if she felt safe and comfortable, even the TV didn’t cause her to stir. "What time is it?"

"8:30"

"That’s all?"

"Yup." She slid a hand under the covers and found a warm patch of skin at the blonde’s midsection. "This feels nice."

Jaylynn shivered. "What a switch. You’re usually the warm one. You must be freezing."

"Actually, I’m not. My skin feels chilled, but my muscles are stoked and burning. I feel fine."

"Yeah, right. Take those clothes off and get in here with me."

Dez raised an eyebrow. "That sounds suggestive." The blonde didn’t answer. Instead, she unzipped the insulated shirt and pulled it down and off the tall cop’s shoulders. Pushing the bigger woman off to the side, she tugged at the waistband of the sweat pants. They slipped down with no problems, but the running tights were another matter. They clung to the dark-haired woman’s damp skin.

"Good grief, Dez. You’re soaked."

"I told you, these tights wick away the sweat. My skin’s not so damp - just the clothes." She shifted a long leg off the side of the bed, then swung her other leg over and stood to peel the tights off. Briefs, socks, and bra landed on the floor on top of the tights, and then the tall woman was sliding under the covers next to the flannel-clad furnace. She shivered.

On their sides, they lay nose to nose, giggling, as Jaylynn’s warm hands stroked the chilled skin next to her. The blonde, still in her pajamas, closed her eyes and breathed in, feeling rapidly warming hands caressing her shoulders, her back, her breasts.

"You feel very good right now, Jay - real toasty."

The blonde let out a sigh. "Thought you didn’t like flannel."

Dez let out a throaty chuckle. "I wasn’t talking about your pajamas." She worked her hands up under the cloth and kneaded the muscles in the smaller woman’s upper back, then pulled a hand out and unbuttoned the front of the sleepshirt and swept it back so that her lips could have free rein in the crook of her partner’s neck.

A door slammed downstairs, and Jaylynn opened her eyes. "Umm…"

Dez’s head came up and their eyes met. In a breathless voice, she said, "We’ve got plenty of time. I told our helpers to come at ten, and Luella doesn’t expect us down there until then."

"Mmm-kay." The rookie closed her eyes and forgot all about any noises downstairs, focusing instead on her partner’s smooth skin - skin that had somehow heated up to the burning point. So intent was she on kissing the tall cop that she hardly shifted when long arms slipped off her flannel bottoms, but then she realized she was grateful to feel skin on skin, warm legs wrapped around hers, hands pressing against the front of her, and the steadily increasing heat at her center. They made love slowly, deliberately, without speaking a word, each sensing what the other needed, and when their passion was spent, they lay wrapped tightly together, whispering words of love and pleasure.

When she caught her breath, a quiet laugh escaped from Jaylynn. "Now that was a real nice wake up. You ought to go running in the wee small hours of the morning more often."

"It wasn’t quite that early." The tall cop shifted onto her side, lying pressed up against her partner, then settled with her dark head on Jaylynn’s shoulder. She placed her hand, palm down, on the blonde’s chest and let out a sigh. "I love making love with you, Jay. You’re just so - so - I mean, we’re just in sync."

"Yeah, that’s a good way of putting it. We fit together. It’s comfortable, and at the same time, it’s terrifically exciting." Her hazel eyes looked down into the bright blue eyes gazing up at her. "I hope it’s always this way - that you don’t get tired of me."

A big grin broke out on Dez’s face. "I’m not gonna get tired of you, sport. It just isn’t gonna happen." They both jumped when a door slammed below them.

"Geez, what’s with Luella today? She trying to send us a message?"

"Could be." Dez pushed herself up to a sitting position and tossed the blankets off, then flexed the muscles of her broad shoulders and back. "Well, what do you think? Should we get up and get going?"

"I suppose. I have no idea what time it is. I totally lose track of everything when we make love." Her face turned a little pink at that admission.

Dez leaned down and gave her a soft kiss on the lips, then crawled over her and strode across the floor to the bathroom. She picked up her watch off the counter and called out, "Hey, we’ve still got fifty minutes."

Jaylynn got out of bed and followed her. "Brrr, it’s cold outside the blankets. Want to jump in the shower?"

"I’ve got a better idea." The tall cop reached down and turned the water on in the tub. "Let’s run a bath and sit in the Jacuzzi." Jaylynn frowned. With a hopeful look on her face, Dez said, "C’mon, Jay. It’s the last time we’ll ever get to use it."

Thirty minutes later, Jaylynn wasn’t exactly sure how she could be expected to carry boxes up and down stairs and haul furniture into their new house. Her legs were warm and relaxed, not so much from the second round of lovemaking, but from the hot, frothy water. She also wasn’t sure why she and Dez hadn’t used the Jacuzzi more often. It was wonderfully relaxing. "Oh, Dez, you’re going to have to carry me out of here."

"Dream on, baby," the dark-haired woman said with a wicked smile as she rose up from the steaming bubbles. Water sluiced off her unnaturally pink skin, and she stood above Jaylynn looking like a muscular goddess.

"Whew. You have any idea how beautiful you are?"

The tall woman turned even redder as she grabbed a towel and rubbed it over her upper body, then lifted one foot out of the water and dried off her leg. She stepped out of the tub and onto the maroon rug, then dried off the other leg. When she was satisfied that she was sufficiently swabbed off, she wrapped the towel around her middle, under her arms, and tucked the end off to secure it. She picked up her hairbrush from the counter and ran it through her hair, then, in a few deft motions, she worked her long tresses into a French braid. Once finished, she turned back toward the tub. "C’mon, you little hedonist." She reached down and took Jaylynn’s hand and hauled her up to her feet. "Here’s a towel."

The blonde trembled for a moment, but she took the folded dark blue towel, and once she got to work drying off, she warmed in the misty air. Dez reached out and wrapped an arm around her as she stepped out of the tub, and they embraced for a moment on the soft rug.

"I’m always going to remember this morning, Dez. It’s a nice way to say goodbye to this place."

The dark-haired woman looked away, out toward the living room. "It’s been a good home for me."

"Will you miss it awfully?"

Her voice sounded so wistful that Dez turned back and looked into the worried hazel eyes. A little smile crept to the corners of her mouth. "I’ll think of this place fondly - but you were right the other day."

Jaylynn frowned. "About what?"

"That you need more room to run. It’s way too easy for me to catch you in this apartment. You deserve a little more room in our new place."

The blonde put her arms up on the tall woman’s shoulders causing her own towel to fall to the floor. With one hand on either side of Dez’s head, the blonde said, "And we need a porch for you to sleep on when you’re mad."

The tall woman let out a guffaw. "Nice try, sweetie. You’re stuck with me, mad, sad or glad."

Jaylynn felt herself falling into those bright blue eyes above her, but then the front door below them slammed shut, and she shook herself from her reverie. "That’s our signal to get rolling, I guess. How much time before ten?"

Dez picked up her wristwatch from the counter beside the sink. "Eleven minutes. Get a move on."

By the time they got downstairs, it was a few minutes past ten. Jaylynn had taken the time to dry her hair, but Dez’s was still damp in the back. She didn’t care. She figured it would keep her cool. They weren’t going right outside anyway. Luella had made coffee cake the day before, and the tall cop knew she and Jaylynn would want to visit for a while and take a few minutes to eat before they started hauling things around.

Leaving the apartment door open, they moved out onto the landing, Dez in the lead and holding the blonde’s hand. She ducked around the eave and descended the stairs, rounded the newel post, and tapped on Luella’s door. As they waited to hear one of the ladies call out, she looked down at Jaylynn and found her smiling up at her. The shorter woman’s eyes communicated a very clear I love you, so the tall cop smiled and nodded. "Me, too." They stood grinning at one another like fools, when the door opened.

"It’s about time," Luella said, a big smile gracing her lovely face.

"’Morning, Luella," Jaylynn said.

"Good morning. I’m so glad to see you two are finally up and about."

She stepped back to let them in, and for a brief moment, Dez had an inkling that something was up. She passed down the hall, still holding Jaylynn’s hand, and heard the door shut quietly behind them. By the time the thought registered that neither Luella nor Vanita had ever slammed a door in their lives, she was through the doorway to the living room and stopping short. Jaylynn bumped into her, then pushed around as a roar of laughter rolled over them.

Dez stood with her mouth open, just about as stunned as she had been the last time people had surprised her. The first thing she thought to say was, "How in the hell did you all keep so quiet?"

More laughter from everyone. Crystal called out, "Everyone wanted to help you two sleepyheads move."

"Wouldn’t miss it for the world," Mac said.

The dark-haired woman gazed around the room, a giant lump forming in her throat. Crystal and Shayna, Bill and Sara she had expected. But not her mother and Mac, Patrick, Monique, Julie, and Ryan’s two little ones, Jeremy and Jill. Vanita sat in one of the three recliners with Tim on one arm and Kevin on the other. Mitch Oster and his new wife, Donna, sat in the other two recliners, with Cowboy towering over the two of them. Everyone was dressed in jeans and sweatshirts, and most of them had steaming mugs of coffee or chocolate.

Jeremy wormed his way through the living room and ran past the length of the back of the sofa before throwing his six-year-old self at her legs. She let go of Jaylynn’s hand and picked him up, feeling the solidness of his little boy body. He was getting bigger, but she could still hike him up on her hip and hold him comfortably. He patted two little hands on either side of her face. "We’re gonna help you move your stuff, Dez, and then guess what - we’re having a big party!"

"Oh, we are, huh?" Her voice came out sounding fine, but she was choked up. She felt another small hand find hers, and Jill looked up, her sweet face shy and serious.

"We’re not too little to help, are we, Dez?"

"No, Jill. Not at all. You’re going to be a big help." For just a moment, surrounded by all this love and affection and the wealth of expectations around her, she could almost feel Ryan in the room. A brief dagger of sadness cut through the bittersweet pleasure she was feeling... but then it crossed her mind that Ryan would be very happy for her today, and she put that thought aside.

"Breakfast first," Luella called out from the dining room where she had been hovering.

Dez strode forward, Jeremy on her hip and Jill walking hand in hand. She glanced over her right shoulder to see Jaylynn’s face shining, then met her mother’s smiling eyes across the room. She turned back to the dining room table to see the spread of not just coffee cake, but three warming skillets filled with scrambled eggs, sausage, and pancakes. The table was loaded down with toast, preserves, and fruit.

"Eat before it gets any colder," Luella said. Jeremy squirmed to be let down, and Jill let go of the tall cop’s hand. There was an orderly rush forward, and both Dez and Jaylynn stepped to the side, next to the built-in buffet. Jeremy and Jill went first in line, followed by Patrick and Monique. All around her, the adults were talking and laughing. Colette made her way to her daughter and gave Jaylynn a hug, then Dez. Julie grabbed the front of the big woman’s sweatshirt and kissed her on the cheek. Everyone was talking and laughing, and the noise level was considerable.

Dez looked over at her partner. When there was a lull in the hugging, she tilted her head down and said, "I still don’t know how they stayed so quiet that we didn’t know they were here."

In a whisper, Jaylynn said, "I just hope they thought we were asleep." She gave Dez a knowing smile, and the two of them started laughing, then tried to stifle it.

Vanita shuffled across the hardwood floor and came to stand in front of them. "You two better get some food in you before the rest of these gluttons hog it all up."

Dez reached out and put her hand on Vanita’s shoulder, then pulled her close, hugging her gently. "Thanks, Van. You’re the best." She released her and if she hadn’t known better, she would have sworn there were tears in the older woman’s eyes.

Vanita drew herself up tall. "Hate to tell you, but you can’t give me much credit. That wacky sister of mine is responsible for this little shindig."

Luella, who was helping Jeremy with his plate as he carefully balanced an overly full glass of juice, looked over and smiled. She guided the boy to the table in the kitchen where his sister was already camped out, then she came back to the dining room and put one arm around Dez’s waist and one around Jaylynn’s. "Well, girls, have at it, why don’t you? I’ve got plenty more in the oven if we run out."

"Thanks, Luella. This is just great." She planted a kiss on the cocoa brown cheek below her and squeezed her tight. Quietly, in the silver-haired woman’s ear, she said, "I love you, Luella."

In response, her landlady gave her a squeeze around the middle. The dark-haired woman stepped forward and snagged a heavy-duty paper plate. She grabbed up a silver fork and speared a Little Smokey sausage, then looked back over her shoulder as she popped the whole thing in her mouth. She was grinning as she chewed, then she shouted out, "You all better eat up. You’re gonna need the energy. We’ve got a lot more stuff than any of you realize." And suddenly Cowboy was in her face, making fun of her and pointing across the room at Crystal.

Dez knew it wouldn’t last forever, but right at that moment, she felt a thrum of elation - almost like an electrical current - run through her body, and she knew she was nearly as happy as she could ever remember being. There were people missing, so the circle wasn’t quite complete, but still, it was quite the circle. She looked to her right and met Jaylynn’s eyes. It occurred to her that a whole new life was beginning, and at long last, she was anxious to get on with it.