I suddenly felt tired, letting myself lean against my car, enervated by the day. I didn’t feel up to parading around Danny’s house with Alex there, pretending I wasn’t sleeping with Joanne.

“Wake up, Mick, you haven’t had dinner yet,” Danny chided my nodding head. “By the way,” she continued, “where were you last night?”

“Here, most of it.”

“After that?” she queried.

“In bed asleep,” I replied, giving her a it’s-none-of-your-business glare.

“Whose? I called you this morning around seven,” she said.

“In the shower.”

“…and again around eight.”

Danny, after our affair, always enjoyed being tacky about my random sex life. It used to be a game we played, but I didn’t appreciate it now.

“She’ll meet us there,” Joanne said, as she crossed the parking lot.

“Good, the more the merrier,” Danny said. “That makes eight of us.”

“Sorry, seven,” I said. “I’m exhausted. I’m going to go home and collapse.”

“Sure, Micky. I’m used to you turning down a free meal and booze to go home by yourself,” Danny jibed.

“You do look tired,” Elly backed me up.

“Good night, girls,” I said and headed for my car. I was on the verge of yelling at Danny, telling her to leave me the fuck alone, but my anger wasn’t really toward her, rather the events of the past few days. I was vaguely aware of Danny, Elly, and Cordelia saying good night to me.

I got in my car. Joanne appeared at my window, leaning on the door.

“You okay?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Tired.”

“Is that really all?”

“Yeah. Really. Say hi to Alex for me,” I replied. But I wasn’t able to keep my voice as neutral as I would have liked.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“I’m okay. Just tired,” I covered.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I thought we could be casual. I never meant to hurt you.”

“We are casual. I’ve fucked a lot of women,” I said harshly, barricading myself. “Don’t think…that you matter more than any of the rest of them,” I added callously.

“All right,” Joanne replied shortly.

“Do say hi to Alex for me.”

Joanne straightened up. I took her hand, preventing her from leaving. I watched Danny’s car pull out into the street, followed by Cordelia’s. I turned back to Joanne. I pulled her to me and kissed her. At first she was stiff, unresponsive, then her mouth opened slightly, letting my tongue in. She put her arms around me and returned my kiss roughly.

“Shit,” she said, breaking off. “We can’t do this here.”

“I suppose not.” I started my car. “You know where I live. And you have a key.”

Joanne backed away from my car.

“Good night, Micky,” she said, deliberately not giving me an answer.

“So long,” I said and started to pull away. Out of my rearview mirror, I watched Joanne stalk over to her car. Then I drove away.

She came over after she left Danny and Elly’s place.

Chapter 11

Joanne woke me at an obscene hour in the morning. “I have to go back to my place and change,” she explained.

“Have fun,” I sleepily replied.

“Roll over,” she told me, her hand pressing on my shoulder, forcing me onto my back.

“It’s too early in the morning,” I demurred.

“You wanted me here,” she countered, running her hand across my breasts, then down between my legs.

“Joanne…” I said, but her hand was starting to wake me up. Sleep could wait. I grabbed her, intending to throw her on her back and get on top, but she wrestled me down. Joanne is stronger than she looks, I thought as I lay under her. She was on top of me, holding my wrists in her hands, pinning my arms against the bed.

“Spread your legs,” she ordered.

We were fighting, I realized. Or continuing our sparring from last night. I had won that round by driving away and making her come over here. Now she was paying me back. I kept my legs together, trying to decide how much resistance my pride demanded.

We stared at each other, a battle of wills ensuing. Her weight shifted, pressing between my legs. I stubbornly resisted, even though I wanted her. Slowly her pressure pried my thighs apart.

I jerked up, taking advantage of the lightened pressure on my hands. But I didn’t get free. We grappled for a minute, but I was unable to get her off balance. Her leg was between mine now, pressing into me.

“Spread your legs,” she demanded again.

“Put your finger up me, all the way,” I countered.

“You like that?” she retorted. But her finger was probing into the folds of my flesh, until she found my opening. I gasped as her finger shot into me.

Somehow anger had seeped into our having sex. No, I’d invited it by what I’d said last night.

“Two?” she asked, not waiting for an answer before putting the second finger up me. She pushed hard, deeply into me.

“No,” I grunted at the heavy pressure. I caught her wrist before she could thrust into me again. “No, don’t. I didn’t mean it,” I said.

She pulled her fingers out, but didn’t say anything.

“Last night…in the parking lot…I didn’t mean it,” I clarified.

Joanne took both my hands and held them. We lay like that for a moment, then she softly touched her lips to mine.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Micky Knight, you are the only person I know who has more defenses than I do,” Joanne replied.

“A record, I suppose.”

“Likely,” she agreed.

“I don’t know what made me say that.”

“I probably scared the shit out of you by suggesting we had gotten more than casual.”

“Yeah, you did,” I said.

“Don’t worry. That makes two of us.”

“What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” Joanne answered. And there was nothing else to say. We lay quietly, holding one another.

“I do have to go to work,” Joanne finally said. She sat up and swung her legs out of bed.

“When will I see you again,” I asked.

“Soon.”

“Tonight?”

“If you want,” she answered, after a fleeting hesitation.

“If it’s okay,” I backed off, remembering she had other obligations. Another lover. “Maybe some other time would be better.”

“Tonight,” she answered. “But it’ll be late, probably after ten.”

“That’s all right.” I wondered if she was working late or seeing Alex. I didn’t ask.

Joanne hurriedly dressed, kissing me good-bye. Then she left.