I nodded, my face still hidden.

He took a deep breath before he answered. "You could do so much better, Bella. I know that you believe I have a soul, but I'm not entirely convinced on that point, and to risk yours . . ."

"Not entirely convinced?" Carlisle smiled and Edward looked flabbergasted. "Which means you're really starting to think that it's possible."

"I..." Edward stammered, unable to say anything and Carlisle continued to beam at him.

He shook his head slowly. "For me to allow this - to let you become what I am just so that I'll never have to lose you - is the most selfish act I can imagine. I want it more than anything, for myself . But for you, I want so much more. Giving in - it feels criminal. It's the most selfish thing I'll ever do, even if I live forever.

Alice frowned at that. She'd never understood where he was coming from more than in that moment, but, in the end, she never did believe in this whole soul issue and knew that everything would be better when Bella changes.

"If there were any way for me to become human for you - no matter what the price was, I would pay it."

I sat very still, absorbing this.

Edward thought he was being selfish.

I felt the smile slowly spread across my face.

"So . . . it's not that you're afraid you won't . . . like me as much when I'm different - when I'm not soft and warm and I don't smell the same? You really do want to keep me, no matter how I turn out?"

"Is she kidding?" Edward scoffed. "I would like her no matter what she is."

"And I doubt you would really miss most of those things," Emmett said, "especially the smell."

"Honestly, Edward, your throat must be permanently on fire being so close to her all the time," Jasper said. "It would be such a relief to finally not have to deal with that and really get to enjoy being near her."

"That's true," Edward agreed, "but I'm sure that there are a lot of things that I'm going to miss about her being human. I'll no longer get to hear her talk in her sleep... and I'll miss looking into her brown eyes..."

"Then you'll just have to find new things to like about her when she's a vampire," Alice smiled at him.

He exhaled sharply. "You were worried I wouldn't like you?" he demanded. Then, before I could answer, he was laughing. "Bella, for a fairly intuitive person, you can be so obtuse!"

"Yes, to obvious things," Emmett laughed. "It's hard for her to see those."

"It's more herself," Edward smiled and frowned at the same time. "She never sees herself or her hold on me."

I knew he would think it silly, but I was relieved. If he really wanted me, I could get through the rest . . . Selfish suddenly seemed like a beautiful word.

"Told you," Alice smiled smugly. "She wants you and that's all that matters to her."

"I don't think you realize how much easier it will be for me, Bella," he said, the echo of his humor still there in his voice, "when I don't have to concentrate all the time on not killing you. Certainly, there are things I'll miss. This for one . . ."

He stared into my eyes as he stroked my cheek, and I felt the blood rush up to color my skin.

"Ah yes, her blush," Edward said. "I will enjoy seeing that."

He laughed gently.

"And the sound of your heart," he continued, more serious but still smiling a little. "It's the most significant sound in my world. I'm so attuned to it now, I swear I could pick it out from miles away. But neither of these things. This." he said, taking my face in his hands. "You. That's what I'm keeping. You'll always be my Bella, you'll just be a little more durable."

Emmett laughed particularly hard at that.