I shook my head, and laughed glumly. "You make me feel like a villain in a melodrama - twirling my mustache while I try to steal some poor girl's virtue."

His eyes were wary as they flashed across my face, then he quickly ducked down to press his lips against my collarbone.

"Oh..." Emmett started to laugh hysterically and everyone else was laughing too. Edward was hissing as he closed his eyes, pinching his nose. "That's what this is about."

"You are so weird," Rosalie said shaking her head and laughing too, but she started reading all the same.

"That's it, isn't it?" The short laugh that escaped me was more shocked than amused. "You're trying to protect your virtue!"

"I don't think that's whose virtue he's trying to protect," Jasper said, laughing, but in some way defending of his almost-human-colored brother.

I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle the giggle that followed. The words were so…old-fashioned.

"No, silly girl," he muttered against my shoulder. "I'm trying to protect yours. And you're making it shockingly difficult."

"Of all the ridiculous -"

"Let me ask you something," he interrupted quickly. "We've had this discussion before, but humor me. How many people in this room have a soul? A shot at heaven, or whatever there is after this life?"

"Two," I answered immediately, my voice fierce.

Carlisle smiled at her confidence in that fact.

"All right. Maybe that's true. Now, there's a world full of dissension about this, but the vast majority seem to think that there are some rules that have to be followed."

"Vampire rules aren't enough for you? You want to worry about the human ones too?"

"It couldn't hurt." He shrugged. "Just in case."

I glared at him through narrowed eyes.

"Now, of course, it might be too late for me, even if you are right about my soul."

"That's not true," Esme automatically defended him.

"No, it isn't," I argued angrily.

"'Thou shalt not kill' is commonly accepted by most major belief systems. And I've killed a lot of people, Bella."

"Only the bad ones."

"Exactly," Esme agreed.

He shrugged. "Maybe that counts, maybe it doesn't. But you haven't killed anyone -"

"That you know about," I muttered.

He smiled, but otherwise ignored the interruption. "And I'm going to do my best to keep you out of temptation's way."

"Okay. But we weren't fighting over committing murder," I reminded him.

"The same principle applies - the only difference is that this is the one area in which I'm just as spotless as you are. Can't I leave one rule unbroken?"

"One?"

"You know that I've stolen, I've lied, I've coveted . . . my virtue is all I have left." He grinned crookedly.

"I lie all the time."

"That's not quite the same," Edward said. "Yours are white lies... ours are... a lot more serious."

"Yes, but you're such a bad liar that it doesn't really count. Nobody believes you."

"I really hope you're wrong about that - because otherwise Charlie is about to burst through the door with a loaded gun."

Emmett laughed loudly at that.

"I wouldn't be surprised. The way she acted when I planned her stay was horrible," Alice said.

"Charlie is happier when he pretends to swallow your stories. He'd rather lie to himself than look too closely." He grinned at me.

"But what did you ever covet?" I asked doubtfully. "You have everything."

"I coveted you." His smile darkened. "I had no right to want you - but I reached out and took you anyway. And now look what's become of you! Trying to seduce a vampire."

Everyone laughed at that one. It was just too funny.

"Maybe we should give her a few tips on how to do that in..." Alice started.

"You will do no such thing," Edward said, "I can't really..."

"You're right, we'll have our work cut out for us to get her to change this stubborn idiot's mind," Rosalie laughed.

"It's not going to happen," Edward said, indeed stubbornly.

"We'll see," both Rosalie and Alice said.

He shook his head in mock horror.

"You can covet what's already yours," I informed him. "Besides, I thought it was my virtue you were worried about."

"It is. If it's too late for me . . . Well, I'll be damned - no pun intended - if I'll let them keep you out, too."

"You can't make me go somewhere you won't be," I vowed. "That's my definition of hell. Anyway, I have an easy solution to all this: let's never die, all right?"

"You don't seem to be making any headway with her," Jasper laughed.

"Sounds simple enough. Why didn't I think of that?"

He smiled at me until I gave up with an angry humph. "So that's it. You won't sleep with me until we're married. "

"Technically, I can't ever sleep with you."