Добавил:
ivanov666
Опубликованный материал нарушает ваши авторские права? Сообщите нам.
Вуз:
Предмет:
Файл:Композиция английской письменной речи. Учебное пособие.pdf
where it will be held. Skimpy paragraphs force readers to fill in the gaps for
themselves, a task that can both irritate and stump them. On the other hand, a
paragraph stuffed with useless padding dilutes the main idea. In all cases, the
reader, the information being presented, and the publication medium determine
the proper amount of detail. A newspaper might feature short paragraphs
including only key facts, whereas a scientific journal might have lengthy
paragraphs that offer detailed development of facts.
The details you supply can include facts, figures, thoughts, observations,
steps, lists, examples, and personal experiences. Individually, these bits of
information may mean little, but added together they clearly illustrate your
point. Keep in mind, however, that development isn't an end in itself but instead
advances the purpose of the entire essay.
Here are two versions of a paragraph, the first inadequately developed:
Underdeveloped Paragraph
Most of the delegates to the Constitutional Convention of 1787 feared too
much democracy. As a result, they drafted the Constitution as a document
outlining a limited democracy. Indeed, some of the provisions were simply
undemocratic. But despite reflecting the delegates' distrust of popular rule, the
Constitution did provide a framework in which democracy could evolve.
Adequately Developed Paragraph
Most of the delegates to the Constitutional Convention of 1787 feared too
much democracy. As a result, they drafted the Constitution as a document
outlining a limited democracy. Indeed, some of the provisions were simply
undemocratic: universal suffrage was denied; voting qualifications were left to
the states; and women, blacks, and persons without property were denied the
federal franchise. Until the passage of the Seventeenth Amendment in 1913,
senators were not popularly elected but were, chosen by state legislators. But
despite reflecting the delegates' distrust of popular rule, the Constitution did
provide a framework in which democracy could evolve.
The first paragraph lacks examples of undemocratic provisions, whereas
the second one provides the needed information.
Readability also helps set paragraph length. Within a paper, paragraphs
signal natural dividing places, allowing the reader to pause and absorb the
material presented up to that point. Too little paragraphing overwhelms the
reader with long blocks of material. Too much creates a choppy Dick-and- Jane
effect that may seem simplistic, even irritating. To counter these problems,
writers sometimes use several paragraphs for an idea that needs extended
development, or they combine several short paragraphs into one.
41
Exercise. Indicate where the ideas in this long block of material divide
logically; explain your choices.
During the summer following graduation from high school, I could
hardly wait to get to college and "be on my own." In my first weeks at State
University, however, I found that independence can be tough and painful. I had
expected raucous good times and a carefree collegiate life, the sort depicted in
old beach movies and suggested by the selective memories of sentimental
alumni. Instead, all I felt at first was the burden of increasing responsibilities
and the loneliness of “a man without a country.” I discovered that being
independent of parents who kept at me to do my homework and expected me to
accomplish certain household chores did not mean I was free to do as I
pleased. On the contrary, living on my own meant that I had to perform for
myself all the tasks that the family used to share. Studying became a full-time
occupation rather than a nightly duty to be accomplished in an hour or two, and
my college instructors made it clear that they would have little sympathy for
negligence or even for my inability to do an assignment. But what was more
troubling about my early college life than having to do laundry, prepare meals,
and complete stacks of homework was the terrifying sense of being entirely
alone. I was independent, no longer a part of the world that had seemed to
confine me, but I soon realized that confinement had also meant security.
I never liked the feeling that people were watching over me, but I knew that
my family and friends were also watching out for me-and that's a good feeling
to have. At the university no one seemed particularly to be watching, though
professors constantly evaluated the quality of my work. I felt estranged from
people in those first weeks of college life, desperately needing a confidant but
fearful that the new and tenuous friendships I had made would be damaged if I
were to confess my fears and problems. It was simply too early for me to feel a
part of the university. So there I was, independent in the fullest sense, and thus
“a man without a country.”
Organization
An effective paragraph unfolds in a clear pattern of organization so that
the reader can easily follow the flow of ideas. Usually when you write your first
draft, your attempt to organize your thoughts will also organize your paragraphs.
Writers do not ordinarily stop to decide on a strategy for each paragraph. But
when you revise or are stuck, it's useful to understand the available choices.
Here are some options:
1. The strategies
2. Order of climax
The choice you make depends upon your material and purpose in writing.
42
Writing Strategies. These include all of the following patterns:
Narration
Description
Process analysis
Illustration
Classification
Comparison
Cause and effect
Definition
Argument
Order of Climax. Climactic order creates a crescendo pattern, starting
with the least emphatic detail and progressing to the most emphatic. The topic
sentence can begin or end the paragraph, or it can remain implied. This pattern
holds the reader's interest by building suspense. On occasion, writers reverse the
order, landing the heaviest punch first; but such paragraphs can trail off, leaving
the reader dissatisfied.
Here is a paragraph illustrating climactic order:
The speaking errors I hear affect me to different degrees. I'm so
conditioned to hearing “It don't make any difference” and “There's three ways
to solve the problem” that I've almost accepted such usage. However, errors
such as “Just between you and I, Arnold loves Edna” and “I'm going back to my
room to lay down” still offend my sensibility. When hearing them, I usually just
chuckle to myself and walk away. The “Twin I's” – irrelevant and irregardless –
are another matter. More than any other errors, they really grate on my ear.
Whenever I hear “that may be true, but it's irrelevant” or “Irregardless of how
much I study, I still get C's,” I have the urge to correct the speaker. It's really
surprising that more people don't clean up their language act.
Valerie Sonntag
Coherence
Coherent writing flows smoothly and easily from one sentence and
paragraph to another, clarifying the relationships among ideas and thus allowing
the reader to grasp connections. Because incoherent writing fails to do this, it
confuses, and sometimes even irritates, the reader. Here is a paragraph that lacks
coherence:
I woke up late. I had been so tired the night before that I had forgotten to
set the alarm. All I could think of was the report I had stayed up until 3 A.M.
typing, and how I could possibly get twenty copies ready for next morning's
9 o'clock sales meeting. I panicked and ran out the door. My bus was so
crowded I had to stand. Jumping off the bus, I raced back up the street. The
43
meeting was already underway. Mr. Jackson gestured for me to come into the
conference room. Inserting the first page of the report into the copier, I set the
dial for twenty copies and pressed the print button. The sign started flashing
CALL KEY OPERATOR. The machine was out of order. Mr. Jackson asked
whether the report was ready. I pointed to the flashing red words. Mr. Jackson
nodded grimly without saying anything. He left me alone with the broken
machine.
This paragraph has some degree of unity: most of its sentences relate to
the writer's disastrous experience with the sales report. Unfortunately, though,
its many gaps in logic create rather than answer questions, and in very bumpy
prose, at that. Note the gap between the third and fourth sentences. Did the
writer jump out of bed and rush right out the door? Of course not, but the reader
has no real clue to the actual sequence of events. Another gap occurs between
the next two sentences, leaving the reader to wonder why the writer had to race
up the street upon leaving the bus. And who is Mr. Jackson? The paragraph
never tells, but the reader will want to know.
Now read this rewritten version, additions italicized:
I woke up late because I had been so tired the night before that I had
forgotten to set the alarm. All I could think of was the report I had stayed up
until 3 A.M. typing, and how I could possibly get twenty copies ready for next
morning's 9 o'clock sales meeting. When I realized it was 8:30, 1 panicked.
Jumping out of bed, I threw on some clothes, grabbed the report, and ran out the
door. My bus was so crowded I had to stand and could not see out the window.
Two blocks beyond my stop, I realized I should have gotten off. "Stop!" I cried
and, jumping off the bus, raced back up the street. When I reached the office, it
was 9:15, and the meeting was already underway. Mr. Jackson, the sales
manager, saw me and gestured for me to come into the conference room. “One
moment,” I said as calmly as I could and hurried to the copier. Inserting the
first page of the report into it, I set the dial for twenty copies and pressed the
print button. Immediately, the sign started flashing CALL KEY OPERATOR.
The machine was out of order. The next thing I knew, Mr. Jackson was at my
side asking whether the report was ready. I pointed to the flashing red words,
and Mr. Jackson nodded grimly without saying anything. Turning on his heel,
he walked away and left me alone with the broken machine.
As this example shows, correcting an incoherent paragraph may call for
anything from a single word to a whole sentence or more.
Coherence derives from a sufficient supply of supporting details and your
firm sense of the way your ideas go together. If you brainstorm your topic
thoroughly and think carefully about the relationships between sentences,
incoherence isn't likely to haunt your paragraphs.
44
As you write, and especially when you revise, signal connections to the
reader by using transitions – devices that link sentences to one another. These
are the most common transitional devices:
1. Connecting words and phrases
2. Repeated key words
3. Pronouns and demonstrative adjectives
4. Parallelism
You can use them to furnish links both within and between paragraphs.
Connecting Words and Phrases. These connectors clarify relationships
between sentences. The following list groups them according to function:
Showing similarity: in like manner, likewise, moreover, similarly
Showing contrast: at the same time, but, even so, however, in contrast,
instead, nevertheless, still, on the contrary, on the other hand, otherwise, yet
Showing results or effects: accordingly, as a result, because,
consequently, hence, since, therefore, thus, for this reason
Adding ideas together: also, besides, first (second, third . . .), furthermore,
in addition, in the first place, likewise, moreover, similarly, too
Pointing out examples: for example, for instance, to illustrate
Showing emphasis and clarity: above all, after all, again, as a matter of
fact, besides, in fact, in other words, indeed, nonetheless, that is
Indicating time: at times, after, afterward, from then on, immediately,
later, meanwhile, next, now, once, previously, subsequently, then, until, while
Conceding a point: granted that, of course, to be sure, admittedly
Providing an alternative: instead, alternatively, otherwise
Affirming: of course, in fact, certainly, obviously, to be sure,
undoubtedly, indeed
Explaining: in other words, that is
Drawing conclusions: as a result, finally, in brief, in conclusion, in short,
to summarize, generally, overall, all in all
Don't overload your paper with connectors. In well-planned prose, your
message flows clearly with only an occasional assist from them.
Exercise. In the following excerpt, which clarifies the difference between
workers and workaholics, the connectors are underlined. Read the text and
answer the questions:
1. What ideas do each of the italicized words and phrases connect?
2. What relationship does each show?
My efforts to define workaholism and to distinguish workaholics from
other hard workers proved difficult. While, workaholics do work hard, not all
hard workers are workaholics. Moonlighters, for example, may work 16 hours a
day to make ends meet, but most of them will stop working when their financial
45
circumstances permit. Accountants, too, seem to work non-stop, but many slow
down after the April 15 tax deadline. Workaholics, on the other hand, always
devote more time and thought to their work than their situation demands. Even
in the absence of deadlines to meet, mortgages to pay, promotions to earn, or
bosses to please, workaholics still work hard. What sets them apart is their
attitude toward work, not the number of hours they work.
Marilyn Machlowkz, Workaholism:
What's Wrong with Being Married to Your Work?
Repeated Key Words. Repeating key words, especially those that help
convey a paragraph's central idea, can smooth the reader's path. The words may
appear in different forms, but their presence keeps the main issues before the
reader. In the following paragraph, the repetition of majority, minority, and will
aids coherence, as does the more limited repetition of government and interests.
Whatever fine-spun theories we may devise to resolve or obscure the
difficulty, there is no use blinking the fact that the will of the majority is not the
same thing as the will of all. Majority rule works well only so long as the
minority is willing to accept the will of the majority as the will of the nation and
let it go at that. Generally speaking, the minority will be willing to let it go at
that so long as it feels that its essential interests and rights are not
fundamentally different from those of the current majority, and so long as it can,
in any case, look forward with confidence to mustering enough votes within four
or six years to become itself the majority and so redress the balance. But if it
comes to pass that a large minority feels that it has no such chance, that it is a
fixed and permanent minority and that another group or class with rights and
interests fundamentally hostile to its own is in permanent control, then
government by majority vote ceases in any sense to be government by the will of
the people for the good of all, and becomes government by the will of some of
the people for their own interests at the expense of the others.
Carl Becker, Freedom and Responsibility
in the American Way of Life
Pronouns and Demonstrative Adjectives. Pronouns stand in for nouns
that appear earlier in the sentence or in previous sentences. Mixing pronouns
and their nouns throughout the paragraph prevents monotony and promotes
clarity. We have underlined the pronouns in the following excerpt from an
article about Dolores Huerta and Cesar Chavez, two organizers of The United
Farm Workers union.
A book could be written on their [Huerta's and Chavez's] complex
relationship. Both are stubborn and opinionated. She is notorious in the union
for combativeness. (Stories are told of growers begging to face anyone at the
46
negotiating table except Huerta.) Chavez jokes of “unleashing Dolores”; but he
respects her “opinions and they generally agree on larger issues. Dolores says
they fight a lot because “he knows I’ll never quit, so he uses me to let off steam;
he knows I’ll fight back anyway.” Chavez, a traditionalist in his own home life,
is said to privately disapprove of Dolores's divorces, her living now with his
brother Richard, and her-chaotic way of raising her kids. But he knows that the
union is the center of her life, just as it is with his. “Dolores is absolutely
fearless, physically and emotionally,” he says.
Judith Coburn, Dolores Huerta: La Pasionaria of the Farm Workers
Except for it in the second sentence from the end, all the pronouns refer to
Huerta, Chavez, or both.
Four demonstrative adjectives – this, that, these, and those – also help
hook ideas together. Demonstratives are special adjectives that identify or point
out nouns rather than describe them. Here is an example from the Declaration of
Independence:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,
that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that
among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these
rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from
the consent of the governed. That whenever any Form of Government becomes
destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it,
and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and
organizing its power in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect
their Safety and Happiness.
Parallelism. Parallelism uses repetition of grammatical form to express a
series of equivalent ideas. Besides giving continuity, the repetition adds rhythm
and balance to the writing. Note how the following underlined constructions tie
together the unfolding definition of poverty:
Poverty is staying up all night on cold nights to watch the fire, knowing
one spark on the newspaper covering the walls means your sleeping children die
in flames. In summer poverty is watching gnats and flies devour your baby's
tears when he cries. The screens are torn and you pay so little rent you know
they will never be fixed. Poverty means insects in your food, in your nose, in
your eyes, and crawling over you when you sleep. Poverty is hoping it never
rains because diapers won't dry when it rains and soon you are using
newspapers. Poverty is seeing your children forever with runny noses. Paper
handkerchiefs cost money and all your rags you need for other things. Even
more costly are antihistamines. Poverty is cooking without food and cleaning
without soap.
Jo Goodwill Parker, What Is Poverty?
47
Revision Checklist For Paragraphs
1. Does the paragraph have one, and only one, central idea?
2. Does the central idea help to develop the thesis statement?
3. Does each statement within the paragraph help to develop the central
idea?
4. Does the paragraph need additional explanations, examples, or
supporting details?
5. Would cutting some material make the paragraph stronger?
6. Would reorganization make the ideas easier to follow?
7. Can the connections between successive sentences be improved?
8. Is each paragraph clearly and smoothly related to those that precede
and follow it?
Don't expect to escape making any changes; some readjustments will
undoubtedly be needed. Certain paragraphs may be stripped down or deleted,
others beefed up, still others reorganized or repositioned.
Exercise. Here are three sample student paragraphs. Evaluate each
according to the Revision Checklist for Paragraphs and suggest, any necessary
changes.
1. I can remember so many times when my father had said that he was
coming to pick me up for a day or two. I was excited as a young boy could be at
the thought of seeing my father. With all the excitement and anticipation raging
inside of me, I would wait on the front porch. Minutes would seem like hours as
I would wait impatiently.
2. Going to high school for the first time, I couldn't decide if I should try
out for the cheerleading team or wait a year. Since I had time and had been on
other squads, I decided “why not?” I had nothing to lose but a lot to gain.
Tryouts were not as hard as I thought, but I just knew I had to be on the squad.
The tryout consisted of learning the routine they made up, making up your own
routine, doing splits, and making a chant. Yet although these things were not
that hard, I still was not sure whether I would make the team or not. The time
came for the judges to make their decisions on who made the squad. Totaling
the votes, they handed the results to the coach. She gave her speech that all
coaches give. We were all good, but only a few could be picked for the team. As
she started to read the names, I got hot. When she called my name, I was more
than happy.
3. For hours we had been waiting under the overhang of an abandoned
hut. None of us had thought to bring ponchos on our short hike through the
woods. Soon it would be dark. Earlier in the day it had been a perfectly clear
day. We all agreed that we didn't want to stand here all night in the dark, so we
decided to make a dash for it.
48
3.5. Paragraphs with special functions
Special-function paragraphs include introductions and conclusions. Oneparagraph introductions and conclusions appear in short, multiparagraph essays.
Introductions
A good introduction acquaints and coaxes. It announces the essay's topic
and may directly state the thesis. In addition, it sets the tone – somber, lighthearted, angry – of what will follow. An amusing anecdote would not be an
appropriate opening for a paper about political torture.
With essays, as with people, first impressions are important. If your
opening rouses interest, it will draw the reader into the essay and pave the way
for your ideas. If, instead, you'd like to try your hand at turning the reader away,
search for a beginning that is mechanical, plodding, and dull. Your success will
astonish you. Here are some bad openings:
In this paper I intend to ...
Wars have always afflicted humankind.
As you may know, inflation is a problem for many of us.
In the modern world of today . . .
How would you respond to these openings? Ask yourself that same
question about every opening you write.
Gear the length of the introduction to that of the essay. Although longer
papers sometimes begin with two or more introductory paragraphs, generally the
lead-in for a short essay is a single paragraph. Here are some possibilities for
starting an essay. The type you select depends on your purpose, subject,
audience, and personality.
A Directly Stated Thesis. This is a common type of opening, orienting the
reader to what will follow. After providing some general background, the writer
of our example narrows her scope to a thesis that previews the upcoming
sections of her essay.
An increasing number of mid-life women are reentering the workforce,
pursuing college degrees, and getting more involved in the public arena. Several
labels besides “mid-life” have been attached to this type of person: the mature
woman, the older woman, and, more recently, the reentry woman. By definition,
she is between thirty-five and fifty-five years old and has been away from the
business or academic scene anywhere from fifteen to thirty years. The academic
community, the media, marketing people, and employers are giving her close
scrutiny, and it is apparent that she is having a greater impact on our society
than she realizes.
Jo Ann Harris
49
A Definition. This kind of introduction works particularly well in a paper
that acquaints the reader with an unfamiliar topic.
You are completely alone in a large open space and are struck by a
terrifying, unreasoning fear. You sweat, your heart beats, you cannot breathe.
You fear you may die of a heart attack, although you do not have heart disease.
Suppose you decide you will never get yourself in this helpless situation again.
You go home and refuse to leave its secure confines. Your family has to support
you. You have agoraphobia – a disabling terror of open spaces.
Controlling Phobias Through Behavior Modification
A Quotation. A beginning quotation, particularly from an authority in the
field, can be an effective springboard for the ideas that follow. Make sure any
quote you use relates clearly to your topic.
Nation's unsettled area, he revealed, “has been so broken into by isolated bodies
of settlement that there can hardly be said to be a frontier line.” These words
sounded the close of one period of America's history. For three centuries before,
men had marched westward, seeking in the forests and plains that lay beyond the
settled areas a chance to begin anew. For three centuries they had driven back
the wilderness as their conquest of the continent went on. Now, in 1890, they were
told that a frontier line separating the settled and unsettled portions of the United
States no longer existed. The west was won, and the expansion that had been the
most distinctive feature of the country's past was at an end.
The director of the census made a dramatic announcement in 1890. The
Ray Allen Billington, The Frontier Disappears
An Anecdote or Personal Experience. A well-told personal anecdote or
experience can lure readers into the rest of the paper. Like other introductions,
this kind should bear on what comes afterward. Engle's anecdote, like the stories
she reviews, demonstrates that “women also have dark hearts.”
My mother used to have a little china cream and sugar set that was given
to her by a woman who later killed her children with an axe. It sat cheerfully in
the china cabinet, as inadequate a symbol as I have ever seen of the dark
mysteries within us. Yet at least it was there to remind us that tio matter how
much Jesus wanted us for a sunbeam, we would still have some day to cope with
a deeper reality than common sense could explain. It stood for strange cars not
to get into, running shoes to wear when you were out alone at night and the
backs of Chinese restaurants you were not supposed to go into.
Marian Engle, review of The Goddess and Other Women
by Joyce Carol Oates
50