19. Family matters. Relationships inside a family.

The f is the most basic and ancient of all institutions, and it remains the fundamental social unit in every society. The f is very important as a unit in our society. Nothing else but a f can be an emotional center of people's life. Understanding between the members of the f and consideration for others are very important.

Over the last decades the conception of a family has changed in most countries. Some time ago it was considered to be a strong one, built for life. Nowadays the families are united and separated very easily. It has become in some kind fragile (хрупкий), but in the same time very flexible. Men and women are equal and can choose – choose a spouse, a career, the quantity of children, the way of life. The family-structure model is changing and families with a stay-at-home mother, working father, and children disappear. In spite of these changes the family doesn’t disappear as an institution.

There are several forms of family organization: nuclear families, one-parent families, childless couples, cohabitation (сожительство), teen-parent units (семьи супругов-подростков).

The traditional family of the 1950’s was patriarchal. It was headed by a married father and mother unit. More than likely the father worked and the mother stayed at home to raise the children. Her responsibilities covered all the areas of housekeeping: cleaning, cooking, entertaining, and looking after children. Women were financially dependent on their husbands.

F-s don’t look like they did in the 1950’s anymore. It is important to note how different the institution of f looks now and how families have changed. People marry at older ages, get more divorces, have fewer children,and frequently want more independence and freedom in relationships.

But the nuclear f is still the most common family to be brought up in. A nuclear f is by definition a man and a woman living together with their legal children in an entire f. The positive aspect of living in a nuclear family is that it provides emotional support for all its members, help and assistance for children.

Nowadays American families are as small as Russian families. But the relationships between children and parents in America and Russia are quite different. The way of upbringing children is more authoritarian in Russia and liberal in America. Children leave their families and become independent earlier in America, and Russian children expect support from their parents for a long time, sometimes all their life. Hardly any parents live with their children when the latter become adults in America, while in Russia grandparents help to bring up their grandchildren and often live in the same house with the young couple.

The problems connected with divorce are of vital importance nowadays and this process influences the lives of children and their parents. But children are the main victims in this situation as they are not protected psychologically; they don’t know what their life will become after the divorce. For kids a divorce means the loss of a parent and the loss of the life as they know it. Even though both parents remain physically present, a child’s sense of stability is upset because the family unit is broken apart. More than anything else, kids want to feel protected and loved. The way in which children handle (справляться) the divorce is strongly related to the manner in which parents handle the divorce. One of the most harmful elements in a divorce is constant parental fighting (ссоры родителей). Other problems include one or both parents talking badly about the other or fighting over the child’s support. Many children blame themselves for their parents’ bad relationships so it’s important to reassure the child that both parents will continue loving him and that he is not responsible for the divorce.

Anyhow, I think that it is better for a kid to live with 1 parent only but peacefully than in a full f with bad relationships and constant fighting. Everyone must remember that relationships take time, energy and care to make them healthy. Good communication, respect and trust are necessary to make a family happy. Tenderness (нежность), warm-heartedness and respect must always be present in the f to make it friendly. A lot of activities help members of the f to be on friendly terms: discussing all the f plans together, going on trips together, visiting museums, theaters, exhibitions, exchanging opinions, sharing the same joys and sorrows.

But according to recent data in the year of economical crisis the family situation in Russia improved greatly. First of all were contracted more marriages then it was done latest year and less marriages were dissolved. Also the improvement touched the birth rate. It increased greatly.