- •The Intersection of Law and Desire
- •I let her sit in silence for a few moments before repeating, “What do they have on you?”
- •I hesitated for a second, embarrassed at what came to mind. “Oh, hell. Jerking off,” I finally admitted.
- •I felt a touch of slickness between my legs. “I’m wet,” I acknowledged.
- •I brushed some of the water out of my hair, hoping it would spot her leather interior and muttered, “Whoever said, ‘Better late than never’?”
- •I would be seeing Cordelia tomorrow, I suddenly realized. And myself in the mirror later tonight. I gently removed Karen’s arms from around my neck.
- •I picked up her bike rack and my duffel bag with my oh so beloved running shoes, while Cordelia managed her bike and gear. After locking up, we headed down to put the bike on her car.
- •I turned sharply around to scan the road. “Nope. Not a Rolls in sight. The snootiest car visible is a Cadillac. And it’s not even this year’s model. I don’t think they’re watching you right now.”
- •I watched them as they pedaled away, Torbin riding abreast with Cordelia. She was nodding her head to something he was saying. Then a line of trees hid them from my view.
- •I stopped. Clearly we needed to have more than a one-sided conversation. Joanne looped back to me.
- •I shrugged noncommittally.
- •I nodded as I waited by the passenger door for her to open it.
- •I grinned at his use of tv cop show cliché, then said, “I’ll do what I can. I’ll call you as soon as I’ve got something to report.”
- •I didn’t recognize the desk sergeant. I introduced myself, then bantered a bit about the Saints’ chances for the playoffs this year.
- •I opened it and started reading, although I knew it would back him up. Bill did paperwork until I decided I had read all of the autopsy report that I cared to. I handed the file back to him.
- •I didn’t need to look around to know that Joey had arrived.
- •I let my disapproval hang in the silence for a long moment. “Eight months? And you’re just now wondering about it?”
- •I decided that sniping at each other wasn’t going to be helpful. “What do you do to calm her fears?”
- •I installed the night-light next to Cissy’s bed, then stayed up reading until a little after three, but no one stirred. Maybe the night-light would keep away Cissy’s fears.
- •I gave her a quick rundown while driving out of the airport maze. Then I asked the question I had been wanting to ask. “What do you know about child psychology?”
- •I shrugged, met her gaze for a moment, then looked away. “What do we do?” I demanded.
- •I stood gazing out the window to avoid looking at her while she packed up.
- •I nodded yes.
- •I thought for a moment. Barbara Selby couldn’t afford anything like it. Then I remembered the money Karen was paying me.
- •I decided to do some work on my one paying case and dialed Torbin’s number.
- •I didn’t reply, instead I crossed my arms and looked away from him.
- •I knelt beside Cissy. “I think I like the blue one the best. Which one do you like?”
- •I nodded, then said, “I’m glad you noticed.”
- •I nodded, then added, “I’m not asking for your money back.”
- •I started to ask her about Lindsey, but realized that I was picking at scabs, scratching and irritating them.
- •I sat next to her, taking her hand between both of mine. “Now tell me about your day.”
- •I shuddered beneath Cordelia’s embrace, warmth a fragile and fleeting thing.
- •I didn’t answer. I slowly leaned back into her embrace. Warm and alive and not in immediate pain seemed to be all that I could offer her.
- •I watched Cordelia as she spoke. She believed what she said, but if I gave in to her wishes, then the power became hers and I would have to trust that she would not use it.
- •I turned and led the way to the kitchen.
- •I quickly hurried down the stairs and out of the courtyard, feeling ragged and torn, unwilling to have her voice leave another mark on me.
- •I looked again at the matchbook. “Heart of Desire” was scripted in gold on a black background. Some of the gold lettering had begun to chip.
- •I said, “What are you working on? We might—”
- •I reluctantly gave him the number to Cordelia’s clinic.
- •I sat for a moment before finally replying, “I need to talk to a lawyer first.”
- •I put the black binder back on o’Connor’s desk, a faint unsettled queasiness rolling in my stomach.
- •I thought for a moment. Legally it would probably be Aunt Greta, but she was the last person I’d want involved. “I guess my cousin, Torbin Robedeaux.”
- •I watched Joey walk out of the bar. The fish had taken the bait. But look what usually happens to bait. I didn’t drive by Cordelia’s apartment on my way out of the Quarter.
- •I held my temper. Joey was playing with me, testing my limits. “I like men. I even love some men. I just get real bored with them when they take their clothes off.”
- •I started to say it wasn’t her money but her mortal soul that I was worried about, but Joey wouldn’t understand and I was beyond explaining it.
- •I turned into the driveway of Lindsey’s office.
- •I finally broke the silence by asking, “Is she okay?”
- •I knew she was right. Law and justice aren’t the same thing. “Is she okay? How badly hurt is she?”
- •I spun on my heel, angry at her. Then I turned back and said as gently as I could, “If you need my help, you know my number. Call me anytime.”
- •I headed in the direction he had indicated. For a moment, the sound of our footsteps mingled, then his faded into the distance and mine alone echoed.
- •I nodded and he continued.
- •I looked at the floor for several moments before I finally answered, “For a while. I lived there…I couldn’t get away from him.” Then I said, “I’d prefer to talk about something else.”
- •I spent most of the weekend at my apartment. No one called me, and I called no one.
- •I nodded slowly, but made no other reply.
- •I climbed into the backseat.
- •I got down to business. “So when does the ceiling fall on Zeke’s head?”
- •I handed the last box to Mr. Unfriendly, then hopped out of the truck. Zeke led the way back into the building. Mr. Silent followed me, closing the door on the cool night.
- •I gave both Betsy and Camille my phone number. Then, with Camille running interference, we headed back downstairs.
- •I didn’t know what to do except respond. I had not expected this. I had come up with dozens of scenarios, but none of them had included Lindsey kissing me.
- •I shrugged, then since she was fronting the money, answered, “No, not for you, it shouldn’t be.”
- •I crossed my arms over my chest, a barricade of sorts. “I need a shrink’s advice,” was my opening. “How do you say no when someone’s making a sexual advance that you’re not sure you want?”
- •I said nothing. I didn’t think Lindsey deserved the accident, but that was a road she had to walk.
- •I felt a surge of jealousy. I knew I wasn’t Cordelia’s first lover, but that wasn’t the same thing as hearing Lindsey describe this.
- •I checked the gun. It was loaded. I suddenly turned and pointed it at Algernon. He stopped and merely looked at me.
- •In the alley you will meet your escort to the boat. That way no one can follow you or recognize your car.
- •I switched it on and found the path into the dark woods.
- •I took one of the pay packets out and waved it in Vern’s face. Then I said, “I don’t pay sexist assholes. You want your money, you’d better deal with me.”
- •I didn’t. That was the horrible thing. “Load up the kids,” I said, to buy time. Maybe if I got enough men out of here I could chance pulling my gun.
- •I held the kiss a little longer, giving her time to get the key securely under her tongue. Then I broke it off. I wondered what Cordelia was thinking.
- •I padlocked the door. It would keep them in, but it would also keep the crew out.
- •I handed it to Ron, and said, “Thanks a lot. I’ve got to get these kids to bed now. It’s almost midnight and they’re very tired.”
- •I lifted the next girl. She was silent, asking no questions, expecting nothing. Cordelia was helping me now, we both put the next two girls in at the same time. Then in silence, the last two.
- •I aimed at him and fired.
- •I told my tale as best I could, still waiting for word on Cordelia and the kids.
- •I just shrugged, terrified to lift my barricades. I couldn’t admit how desperately I wanted to revive the time when I was sure she loved me.
- •I looked at Cordelia. Usually we’re locked in our own world, our own needs and desires. Cordelia had just let me into a place where she was small and scared. “I’m so afraid of you,” I admitted.
- •I let the tension ease out of me and closed my eyes.
- •I got up to leave. His money could buy many things. A lesson in the cost of betrayal was one of them. Francois had made his choices.
- •I ignored that. “Why do you think Francois won’t betray you?”
- •I started to point out that was clichéd, too, but decided that Kessler wasn’t interested in knowing that. I didn’t talk.
- •I slammed my heel into his instep, causing him to howl in pain.
- •I didn’t know if Barbara was asking a rhetorical question or asking me about myself. I answered as if it were the latter, “The memory remains. Don’t silence her. Don’t ever blame her.”
- •I watched them as they went down the hall, not wanting to go with them. Instead, I walked back the way I came, giving Barbara and Cissy time to find their way home.
- •I didn’t look back as we drove away.
I held the kiss a little longer, giving her time to get the key securely under her tongue. Then I broke it off. I wondered what Cordelia was thinking.
“Have a nice life, Karen,” I said as I backed away. “Wave good-bye to New Orleans.” I pointed in the direction of the city, giving her some indication of which way to head for civilization. I hoped Quince and his boys assumed that I was having a sadistic time of it.
“You want to light the fire now or should Tilman wait until we cast off?” Quince asked in a detached voice. He could be asking if I wanted a roast beef or ham po-boy.
“Let’s cast off first. On the off chance that anyone sees the fire, I don’t want to be around.”
Quince nodded, then said, “You heard her, let’s go.”
Tilman was the kitchen drunk. Not part of the crew, he tottered along behind us. Several other men led the way, Cordelia and the children between them. I followed, with Quince and Vern behind me.
I had miscalculated, I thought as I watched them walking before me. I didn’t think that Karen knew enough to be a threat. But these men were ruthlessly thorough. She could identify Joey. That was enough of a loose end that it had to be tied up. And because Joey had scared her, and I probably did, too, she had turned to the one person she knew she could depend on. Cordelia. No, not her, I suddenly wanted to scream, grinding my teeth to keep silent. I had been the one to suggest that Karen stay with Cordelia. Now Cordelia became another loose end.
We walked silently through another fifty yards of forest until we came to the levee. On the other side of it was a small dock, dwarfed by the broad expanse of the Mississippi River. Tethered to the wharf was a large yacht, probably eighty or ninety feet in length. It was a handsome ship, looking the part of a small cruise boat. As I came down the levee, I read her name, Earthly Delight.
“You need to get secured,” Quince said to me, with a nod at Cordelia and the kids. “Vern can show you where,” he added as he passed me on the gang plank.
“Hurry up, I got other things to do,” my good friend Vern snarled. He ducked into a entryway, not waiting for us to follow.
“This way,” I said as I tried to follow him.
“And if we don’t go?” Cordelia said coldly.
One of the men was on the dock below us. Other voices were close. I couldn’t tell Cordelia what was really going on. “Just do it,” I said, taking her arm.
She jerked away from me, then picked up the sick girl and carried her into the passage. I ushered the rest of the children in behind her.
We were in a narrow hallway that cut across the ship. It led to a center hall that ran the length of the boat. Vern was waiting impatiently for us at the end of it.
“In there,” he snapped, kicking open the door of a cabin.
Wordlessly, Cordelia and the children filed in.
“Here.” Vern shoved a padlock into my hand. “Keep ’em locked in. Your cabin’s here.” He jerked his head at the one across the hall. “And stay out of our way.”
He pushed past me, “accidently” running his hands across my breasts as he went by.
It wasn’t a smart thing to do, but I lost control. I kicked Vern in the back of the knee, then grabbed his hair, jerking her head back as he went to his knees. I put the barrel of my gun against his cheek, just under his eye.
“Don’t you ever fuck with me again. You behave yourself and maybe I’ll forget what an asshole you are and I won’t tell Joey you’re too much of a fuck-up to have on this boat.”
Vern started to struggle, but I shifted my gun so that it was pointing at his eye.
“Look, sorry. I had a few beers,” he mumbled.
“Just stay away from me and we’ll both be happy.” Then I shoved him down the hall, but kept my gun out.
Vern stumbled to his feet and with a backward glance at my gun, hurried out. I stayed where I was for a few minutes, making sure he was gone.
Cordelia was standing at the door of her cabin, watching me. “Was that necessary?” she asked harshly.
“Yes, it was,” I defended, although I wasn’t sure I’d done the right thing. Vern might leave me alone or he might be out to get me.
“Why didn’t you use your gun to save Karen?” she spat at me.
One of the other men came in the hall. “Hey, Quince wants to talk to you,” he called to me.
“Is there anything you need?” I asked Cordelia. The man was waiting to take me to Quince.
“Other than the obvious? Karen alive and the children off this boat?” She glared at me for a moment, then said, “If you have a medical kit anywhere, I could use it.” She went back into the cabin.
“I have to lock you in,” I said as I started to shut the door.
“Whatever,” she answered, but she didn’t look at me.