- •The Intersection of Law and Desire
- •I let her sit in silence for a few moments before repeating, “What do they have on you?”
- •I hesitated for a second, embarrassed at what came to mind. “Oh, hell. Jerking off,” I finally admitted.
- •I felt a touch of slickness between my legs. “I’m wet,” I acknowledged.
- •I brushed some of the water out of my hair, hoping it would spot her leather interior and muttered, “Whoever said, ‘Better late than never’?”
- •I would be seeing Cordelia tomorrow, I suddenly realized. And myself in the mirror later tonight. I gently removed Karen’s arms from around my neck.
- •I picked up her bike rack and my duffel bag with my oh so beloved running shoes, while Cordelia managed her bike and gear. After locking up, we headed down to put the bike on her car.
- •I turned sharply around to scan the road. “Nope. Not a Rolls in sight. The snootiest car visible is a Cadillac. And it’s not even this year’s model. I don’t think they’re watching you right now.”
- •I watched them as they pedaled away, Torbin riding abreast with Cordelia. She was nodding her head to something he was saying. Then a line of trees hid them from my view.
- •I stopped. Clearly we needed to have more than a one-sided conversation. Joanne looped back to me.
- •I shrugged noncommittally.
- •I nodded as I waited by the passenger door for her to open it.
- •I grinned at his use of tv cop show cliché, then said, “I’ll do what I can. I’ll call you as soon as I’ve got something to report.”
- •I didn’t recognize the desk sergeant. I introduced myself, then bantered a bit about the Saints’ chances for the playoffs this year.
- •I opened it and started reading, although I knew it would back him up. Bill did paperwork until I decided I had read all of the autopsy report that I cared to. I handed the file back to him.
- •I didn’t need to look around to know that Joey had arrived.
- •I let my disapproval hang in the silence for a long moment. “Eight months? And you’re just now wondering about it?”
- •I decided that sniping at each other wasn’t going to be helpful. “What do you do to calm her fears?”
- •I installed the night-light next to Cissy’s bed, then stayed up reading until a little after three, but no one stirred. Maybe the night-light would keep away Cissy’s fears.
- •I gave her a quick rundown while driving out of the airport maze. Then I asked the question I had been wanting to ask. “What do you know about child psychology?”
- •I shrugged, met her gaze for a moment, then looked away. “What do we do?” I demanded.
- •I stood gazing out the window to avoid looking at her while she packed up.
- •I nodded yes.
- •I thought for a moment. Barbara Selby couldn’t afford anything like it. Then I remembered the money Karen was paying me.
- •I decided to do some work on my one paying case and dialed Torbin’s number.
- •I didn’t reply, instead I crossed my arms and looked away from him.
- •I knelt beside Cissy. “I think I like the blue one the best. Which one do you like?”
- •I nodded, then said, “I’m glad you noticed.”
- •I nodded, then added, “I’m not asking for your money back.”
- •I started to ask her about Lindsey, but realized that I was picking at scabs, scratching and irritating them.
- •I sat next to her, taking her hand between both of mine. “Now tell me about your day.”
- •I shuddered beneath Cordelia’s embrace, warmth a fragile and fleeting thing.
- •I didn’t answer. I slowly leaned back into her embrace. Warm and alive and not in immediate pain seemed to be all that I could offer her.
- •I watched Cordelia as she spoke. She believed what she said, but if I gave in to her wishes, then the power became hers and I would have to trust that she would not use it.
- •I turned and led the way to the kitchen.
- •I quickly hurried down the stairs and out of the courtyard, feeling ragged and torn, unwilling to have her voice leave another mark on me.
- •I looked again at the matchbook. “Heart of Desire” was scripted in gold on a black background. Some of the gold lettering had begun to chip.
- •I said, “What are you working on? We might—”
- •I reluctantly gave him the number to Cordelia’s clinic.
- •I sat for a moment before finally replying, “I need to talk to a lawyer first.”
- •I put the black binder back on o’Connor’s desk, a faint unsettled queasiness rolling in my stomach.
- •I thought for a moment. Legally it would probably be Aunt Greta, but she was the last person I’d want involved. “I guess my cousin, Torbin Robedeaux.”
- •I watched Joey walk out of the bar. The fish had taken the bait. But look what usually happens to bait. I didn’t drive by Cordelia’s apartment on my way out of the Quarter.
- •I held my temper. Joey was playing with me, testing my limits. “I like men. I even love some men. I just get real bored with them when they take their clothes off.”
- •I started to say it wasn’t her money but her mortal soul that I was worried about, but Joey wouldn’t understand and I was beyond explaining it.
- •I turned into the driveway of Lindsey’s office.
- •I finally broke the silence by asking, “Is she okay?”
- •I knew she was right. Law and justice aren’t the same thing. “Is she okay? How badly hurt is she?”
- •I spun on my heel, angry at her. Then I turned back and said as gently as I could, “If you need my help, you know my number. Call me anytime.”
- •I headed in the direction he had indicated. For a moment, the sound of our footsteps mingled, then his faded into the distance and mine alone echoed.
- •I nodded and he continued.
- •I looked at the floor for several moments before I finally answered, “For a while. I lived there…I couldn’t get away from him.” Then I said, “I’d prefer to talk about something else.”
- •I spent most of the weekend at my apartment. No one called me, and I called no one.
- •I nodded slowly, but made no other reply.
- •I climbed into the backseat.
- •I got down to business. “So when does the ceiling fall on Zeke’s head?”
- •I handed the last box to Mr. Unfriendly, then hopped out of the truck. Zeke led the way back into the building. Mr. Silent followed me, closing the door on the cool night.
- •I gave both Betsy and Camille my phone number. Then, with Camille running interference, we headed back downstairs.
- •I didn’t know what to do except respond. I had not expected this. I had come up with dozens of scenarios, but none of them had included Lindsey kissing me.
- •I shrugged, then since she was fronting the money, answered, “No, not for you, it shouldn’t be.”
- •I crossed my arms over my chest, a barricade of sorts. “I need a shrink’s advice,” was my opening. “How do you say no when someone’s making a sexual advance that you’re not sure you want?”
- •I said nothing. I didn’t think Lindsey deserved the accident, but that was a road she had to walk.
- •I felt a surge of jealousy. I knew I wasn’t Cordelia’s first lover, but that wasn’t the same thing as hearing Lindsey describe this.
- •I checked the gun. It was loaded. I suddenly turned and pointed it at Algernon. He stopped and merely looked at me.
- •In the alley you will meet your escort to the boat. That way no one can follow you or recognize your car.
- •I switched it on and found the path into the dark woods.
- •I took one of the pay packets out and waved it in Vern’s face. Then I said, “I don’t pay sexist assholes. You want your money, you’d better deal with me.”
- •I didn’t. That was the horrible thing. “Load up the kids,” I said, to buy time. Maybe if I got enough men out of here I could chance pulling my gun.
- •I held the kiss a little longer, giving her time to get the key securely under her tongue. Then I broke it off. I wondered what Cordelia was thinking.
- •I padlocked the door. It would keep them in, but it would also keep the crew out.
- •I handed it to Ron, and said, “Thanks a lot. I’ve got to get these kids to bed now. It’s almost midnight and they’re very tired.”
- •I lifted the next girl. She was silent, asking no questions, expecting nothing. Cordelia was helping me now, we both put the next two girls in at the same time. Then in silence, the last two.
- •I aimed at him and fired.
- •I told my tale as best I could, still waiting for word on Cordelia and the kids.
- •I just shrugged, terrified to lift my barricades. I couldn’t admit how desperately I wanted to revive the time when I was sure she loved me.
- •I looked at Cordelia. Usually we’re locked in our own world, our own needs and desires. Cordelia had just let me into a place where she was small and scared. “I’m so afraid of you,” I admitted.
- •I let the tension ease out of me and closed my eyes.
- •I got up to leave. His money could buy many things. A lesson in the cost of betrayal was one of them. Francois had made his choices.
- •I ignored that. “Why do you think Francois won’t betray you?”
- •I started to point out that was clichéd, too, but decided that Kessler wasn’t interested in knowing that. I didn’t talk.
- •I slammed my heel into his instep, causing him to howl in pain.
- •I didn’t know if Barbara was asking a rhetorical question or asking me about myself. I answered as if it were the latter, “The memory remains. Don’t silence her. Don’t ever blame her.”
- •I watched them as they went down the hall, not wanting to go with them. Instead, I walked back the way I came, giving Barbara and Cissy time to find their way home.
- •I didn’t look back as we drove away.
I handed the last box to Mr. Unfriendly, then hopped out of the truck. Zeke led the way back into the building. Mr. Silent followed me, closing the door on the cool night.
“Summers it’s too hot,” he muttered. “It’s too damn hot for him to unload a truck.” Then Mr. Silent was silent again.
We went into Zeke’s office. I took the chair that Joey had sat in before, leaving the henchmen to fend for themselves. Mr. Silent opted again for the floor, while Mr. Unfriendly stood in the doorway, obviously trying to work his way up the career ladder.
“You want to sign this?” I asked Zeke, taking an invoice out of my jacket.
“Let me look at it.” He took the invoice from me. Look is all he did, he couldn’t have read it before he signed it. “Safe sex instruction guides, what’ll you guys think of next,” he chuckled as he handed the invoice back to me. Then he said, “Joey usually signs on the bottom line.” He handed me a pen.
How nice of you to mention that to me, Joey, I thought as I took the pen.
“Since I’m acting in his stead, why don’t I just sign his name and initial it?” I suggested. It was somewhat irrational, but I didn’t want to put my name on any of this.
“Sure,” Zeke agreed with a shrug.
I wrote Joey’s name in, then scribbled my initials as illegibly as possible. I gave the carbon to Zeke and kept the top copy for myself. He opened up a file cabinet and shoved the invoice into a file folder. At least it appeared that Joey was right about Zeke being sloppy and putting everything into one file.
“I’d love to stay and chat, but I gotta get out of here,” he said as he stood up.
“Mind if I hang around and get a beer?”
“Naw, not at all. Monday’s half-price night.”
I smiled at his generosity. “Can I leave the truck where it is?”
“You want one of the boys to take it?”
“It’s no problem.” It’s my ride home.
“Just don’t leave it here too long.”
“A beer or two and I’m gone,” I promised Zeke.
“Okay, boys,” Zeke said as he led the way out of his office. “We call it a night.” To me he asked, “You goin’ out the back door?”
“Yeah, probably better not to be seen on the street.”
“Just be sure you throw the bolt when you leave.” Zeke turned and locked his office.
Damn. It didn’t look like the world’s greatest lock, but busting down Zeke’s door wasn’t the subtle approach I had in mind.
We walked a few feet down the hall. Zeke stopped in front of a dusty barracuda—mounted, not live. He put his office key into the barracuda’s mouth. Obviously, Zeke wasn’t expecting an inside job.
“I should probably count the boxes again,” I said as I stopped outside the storeroom.
“You want one of the girls to get you a beer?” Zeke, ever the gracious host, offered.
“That’d be great.” It might give me a chance to ask some questions without the bartender or whoever keeping track of how long they lingered with me.
“Which one do you like?” Zeke’s lips had a salacious twitch to them.
“To get a beer? It doesn’t matter.”
“You want one of them?” Zeke had to push it, to play his little game. “I’ve got some good girls here, they’ll do anything I tell them.”
“Out of my price range,” I said shortly, to end this conversation.
“On the house. Which one you want?”
Mr. Unfriendly and Mr. Silent had both paused in their exit to watch this little drama. I looked at Zeke, his pudgy face glistening and decided it was time to stop being polite. Too often men attack women because they think we won’t fight back. Zeke had no control over me and I could afford to expend some rage at him.
“You do it with them?” I inquired.
“Yeah, yeah. It’s a perk of the job.” His twitching lips widened into a lascivious grin.
“You really mean you use whores for sex? That mechanical, fake orgasm stuff turns you on?” I stared at him. “I’ve got several girlfriends. They love it when—I guess you can’t do that with your bad back. I guess that’s a good reason to see a hooker, if you can’t do the real stuff.”
Zeke turned a color that an interior decorator friend of mine called aubergine. He spun on his heel, muttered, “Fuckin’ dyke,” and headed for the door. He turned back for a moment and sputtered, “You tell Joey to call me. I got something to say to him.” He turned back, again muttered, “Fuckin’ dyke,” and slammed out the door.
Mr. Unfriendly, mindful of his career climb, followed his boss. Mr. Silent chuckled, then let out an “Asshole,” clearly intended for Zeke and ambled out of the building.
I went in the storeroom, just in case Zeke decided to return for another round. I really did count the boxes. This time there were fifty boxes of “safe sex instructions.” A growing business. I put on a pair of gloves and picked a sacrificial box to open. I forced myself to do a quick glance through the magazine. Cissy’s picture wasn’t there. I didn’t recognize any of the other girls. It gave me a small, false sense of relief. Not knowing just meant I didn’t know the exact damage that had been done. The same anxious, begging eyes stared at me from those photos.
I tore part of the box flap off. Then I got a magazine and tore part of it to correspond with the torn box. Okay, Zeke, you and Joey just think this is a game to earn money. Let’s play for some real stakes, not “just” the lives of little girls.
No one was in the hallway. I quickly stuck my hand into the barracuda’s mouth (what a metaphor) and grabbed the key to Zeke’s office. After opening his door, I went back in the storage room and got the damaged box. I carried the whole thing into Zeke’s office. By moving and shifting a few junk piles, I found a place for the box, then covered it back up with the junk. Zeke would never notice it, but the police would be sure to find it.
I opened his file cabinet. I rifled through all his files, before taking the one Joey had instructed me to get. I stapled the torn porno magazine and box piece to the invoice he had signed tonight. That was all I put back into the file folder. Nothing else looked interesting and the cigarette stench in this office was giving me a headache.
I slipped back out of the door. Camille was standing in the hallway.
“Where’s Zeke?” she asked warily.
“He’s gone,” I said calmly. It wouldn’t do to act as if I didn’t have a right to be here.
“For good or just the day?”
“Just the day, I’m afraid.”
“He know you’re in his office?”
“No,” I admitted. I wouldn’t make Zeke’s mistake of underestimating Camille. If I lied, all she’d need to do is mention it to Zeke tomorrow and I’d be caught out.
“You a dick?” she asked.
I couldn’t help myself from looking down at my crotch before answering, “No.”
“I know you don’t have one. What’s your game?”
“I’m private,” I admitted.
“What’s in those boxes?” she asked, with a nod of her head at the storeroom.
“You don’t want to know.”
“There’s a lot of things I ‘don’t want to know’ around here.”
“Like what?”
“Like why should I tell you?”
“If I were you I’d be sick over the weekend.”
She slowly nodded, then asked, “If you’re private, how do you know?”
“I have my sources.”
She nodded again, then said, “Come on back this way. Standing in the hall’s not a good place to be talking.”
I quickly locked Zeke’s door and put the key back in its hiding place, then followed Camille to the end of the hallway and up rickety backstairs.
“Here we are, hooker heaven,” she said, ushering me into a small room. There were a few pieces of second- and third-hand furniture, an old couch, a wooden packing crate for a coffee table. A radio in one corner was tuned to a jazz station. And, incongruously, hung up on one wall were several pictures drawn by children.
Camille caught me staring at them. “I got two kids. Welfare didn’t put nothing but beans and rice on the table and I could never get shoes to fit them. That wasn’t a life.”
“This is?” I couldn’t help but ask.
Camille gave me a get-rid-of-your-middle-class assumptions look and said, “To get by, yeah. I know I’ve got only a few more years ’til my looks are going to need a real dark room. Or I end up on Tulane Avenue. So I’m careful with my money, I don’t party when I leave here. I go home, get my kids ready for school. I got my GED last year, and now I’m taking a college course, business. And in a year or two, Betsy and me are going to start a dressmaking business. Welfare wouldn’t put me on that road, wouldn’t even give me a map. They just give you so much, so you never have enough.”
“Why this dump?”
“It’s not so bad. Zeke’s too stupid to really rip us off. Plus the johns got to come in the bar first. They decide to play rough or not pay, they got to go back out the bar. They only get far enough to regret it. So what are you doing here, Miss Private Eye?”
“Seeking answers. Who makes what’s in those boxes.”
Camille nodded, then asked, “It got to do with kids?”
“Why do you ask?” I kept my voice as neutral as I could.
“What’s an eight-year-old, blue-eyed, blond-haired white girl doing at a place like this? Now, I got two kids, so I show their pictures and Audrey shows her kids, and Hugo shows his, so I know all the kids that might have any business here. That kid didn’t belong.”
“How long ago was that?”
“’Bout a week.”
Another woman slipped in through the door. She looked at me, then at Camille.
“This is Betsy,” Camille introduced us. “You got a name?”
“Micky,” I replied. “Hello, Betsy.”
Betsy nodded at me.
“Me, Betsy, Audrey, and Gloria fixed up this little room. No one comes here but us,” Camille informed me.
“Hurricanes,” I said.
“Hell, yes,” Camille responded. “Might as well use a hurricane for a hooker name.”
Audrey, Betsy, Camille, and Gloria were all names of hurricanes. New Orleans, a city built on a swamp, is prime fodder for a storm. Betsy, in the early sixties, had done serious damage. Camille, several years later, had veered east, slamming into the Mississippi Gulf Coast. It was the most powerful hurricane to ever hit the continental United States, with winds of over two hundred miles an hour.
She added, “Some have caught on, but none as quick as you.”
“Zeke still hasn’t figured it out,” Betsy put in.
“Tell Micky about last Wednesday night,” Camille instructed Betsy.
That the request came from Camille was enough for Betsy. She began, “There were three little girls here. They were tarted up in frilly dresses and patent leather shoes. You know, not kid clothes, but adult clothes for kids. They had makeup on, red lips, and eye shadow. Zeke yelled at me to get out of the hall. Later he first told me I didn’t see them, then that they were a bunch of lost school kids and not to worry about it.”
“Right,” snorted Camille. “In a whorehouse at three in the morning.”
“Anything else?” I asked.
“One of the other girls claims some dude offered her big bucks to do a shoot with young girls. But she’s on too many things to trust what she says. Is that why you’re here? Those kids?” Camille asked.
“That’s why I’m here.”
She and Betsy looked at each other, then Camille said, “What we do is one thing, but messing with kids is sick. If we can, we’ll help you.”
“Can you call me if any more children show up here?”
“Can’t promise, but can try,” Camille agreed.
“We can’t exactly say, ‘Yo, bro, take it out, I got to make a phone call,’” Betsy said. “If Gloria’s here, she’s got a portable phone. If not, we have to use the one in the hall.”
“You gotta bust us on Saturday night?” Camille asked. “We might get more if you waited.”
“It’s not me. Or the cops. Whoever’s running this thing has gotten tired of Zeke. They’re setting him up and dropping him hard.”
Camille shook her head, “Like a snake shedding its skin.”