- •The Intersection of Law and Desire
- •I let her sit in silence for a few moments before repeating, “What do they have on you?”
- •I hesitated for a second, embarrassed at what came to mind. “Oh, hell. Jerking off,” I finally admitted.
- •I felt a touch of slickness between my legs. “I’m wet,” I acknowledged.
- •I brushed some of the water out of my hair, hoping it would spot her leather interior and muttered, “Whoever said, ‘Better late than never’?”
- •I would be seeing Cordelia tomorrow, I suddenly realized. And myself in the mirror later tonight. I gently removed Karen’s arms from around my neck.
- •I picked up her bike rack and my duffel bag with my oh so beloved running shoes, while Cordelia managed her bike and gear. After locking up, we headed down to put the bike on her car.
- •I turned sharply around to scan the road. “Nope. Not a Rolls in sight. The snootiest car visible is a Cadillac. And it’s not even this year’s model. I don’t think they’re watching you right now.”
- •I watched them as they pedaled away, Torbin riding abreast with Cordelia. She was nodding her head to something he was saying. Then a line of trees hid them from my view.
- •I stopped. Clearly we needed to have more than a one-sided conversation. Joanne looped back to me.
- •I shrugged noncommittally.
- •I nodded as I waited by the passenger door for her to open it.
- •I grinned at his use of tv cop show cliché, then said, “I’ll do what I can. I’ll call you as soon as I’ve got something to report.”
- •I didn’t recognize the desk sergeant. I introduced myself, then bantered a bit about the Saints’ chances for the playoffs this year.
- •I opened it and started reading, although I knew it would back him up. Bill did paperwork until I decided I had read all of the autopsy report that I cared to. I handed the file back to him.
- •I didn’t need to look around to know that Joey had arrived.
- •I let my disapproval hang in the silence for a long moment. “Eight months? And you’re just now wondering about it?”
- •I decided that sniping at each other wasn’t going to be helpful. “What do you do to calm her fears?”
- •I installed the night-light next to Cissy’s bed, then stayed up reading until a little after three, but no one stirred. Maybe the night-light would keep away Cissy’s fears.
- •I gave her a quick rundown while driving out of the airport maze. Then I asked the question I had been wanting to ask. “What do you know about child psychology?”
- •I shrugged, met her gaze for a moment, then looked away. “What do we do?” I demanded.
- •I stood gazing out the window to avoid looking at her while she packed up.
- •I nodded yes.
- •I thought for a moment. Barbara Selby couldn’t afford anything like it. Then I remembered the money Karen was paying me.
- •I decided to do some work on my one paying case and dialed Torbin’s number.
- •I didn’t reply, instead I crossed my arms and looked away from him.
- •I knelt beside Cissy. “I think I like the blue one the best. Which one do you like?”
- •I nodded, then said, “I’m glad you noticed.”
- •I nodded, then added, “I’m not asking for your money back.”
- •I started to ask her about Lindsey, but realized that I was picking at scabs, scratching and irritating them.
- •I sat next to her, taking her hand between both of mine. “Now tell me about your day.”
- •I shuddered beneath Cordelia’s embrace, warmth a fragile and fleeting thing.
- •I didn’t answer. I slowly leaned back into her embrace. Warm and alive and not in immediate pain seemed to be all that I could offer her.
- •I watched Cordelia as she spoke. She believed what she said, but if I gave in to her wishes, then the power became hers and I would have to trust that she would not use it.
- •I turned and led the way to the kitchen.
- •I quickly hurried down the stairs and out of the courtyard, feeling ragged and torn, unwilling to have her voice leave another mark on me.
- •I looked again at the matchbook. “Heart of Desire” was scripted in gold on a black background. Some of the gold lettering had begun to chip.
- •I said, “What are you working on? We might—”
- •I reluctantly gave him the number to Cordelia’s clinic.
- •I sat for a moment before finally replying, “I need to talk to a lawyer first.”
- •I put the black binder back on o’Connor’s desk, a faint unsettled queasiness rolling in my stomach.
- •I thought for a moment. Legally it would probably be Aunt Greta, but she was the last person I’d want involved. “I guess my cousin, Torbin Robedeaux.”
- •I watched Joey walk out of the bar. The fish had taken the bait. But look what usually happens to bait. I didn’t drive by Cordelia’s apartment on my way out of the Quarter.
- •I held my temper. Joey was playing with me, testing my limits. “I like men. I even love some men. I just get real bored with them when they take their clothes off.”
- •I started to say it wasn’t her money but her mortal soul that I was worried about, but Joey wouldn’t understand and I was beyond explaining it.
- •I turned into the driveway of Lindsey’s office.
- •I finally broke the silence by asking, “Is she okay?”
- •I knew she was right. Law and justice aren’t the same thing. “Is she okay? How badly hurt is she?”
- •I spun on my heel, angry at her. Then I turned back and said as gently as I could, “If you need my help, you know my number. Call me anytime.”
- •I headed in the direction he had indicated. For a moment, the sound of our footsteps mingled, then his faded into the distance and mine alone echoed.
- •I nodded and he continued.
- •I looked at the floor for several moments before I finally answered, “For a while. I lived there…I couldn’t get away from him.” Then I said, “I’d prefer to talk about something else.”
- •I spent most of the weekend at my apartment. No one called me, and I called no one.
- •I nodded slowly, but made no other reply.
- •I climbed into the backseat.
- •I got down to business. “So when does the ceiling fall on Zeke’s head?”
- •I handed the last box to Mr. Unfriendly, then hopped out of the truck. Zeke led the way back into the building. Mr. Silent followed me, closing the door on the cool night.
- •I gave both Betsy and Camille my phone number. Then, with Camille running interference, we headed back downstairs.
- •I didn’t know what to do except respond. I had not expected this. I had come up with dozens of scenarios, but none of them had included Lindsey kissing me.
- •I shrugged, then since she was fronting the money, answered, “No, not for you, it shouldn’t be.”
- •I crossed my arms over my chest, a barricade of sorts. “I need a shrink’s advice,” was my opening. “How do you say no when someone’s making a sexual advance that you’re not sure you want?”
- •I said nothing. I didn’t think Lindsey deserved the accident, but that was a road she had to walk.
- •I felt a surge of jealousy. I knew I wasn’t Cordelia’s first lover, but that wasn’t the same thing as hearing Lindsey describe this.
- •I checked the gun. It was loaded. I suddenly turned and pointed it at Algernon. He stopped and merely looked at me.
- •In the alley you will meet your escort to the boat. That way no one can follow you or recognize your car.
- •I switched it on and found the path into the dark woods.
- •I took one of the pay packets out and waved it in Vern’s face. Then I said, “I don’t pay sexist assholes. You want your money, you’d better deal with me.”
- •I didn’t. That was the horrible thing. “Load up the kids,” I said, to buy time. Maybe if I got enough men out of here I could chance pulling my gun.
- •I held the kiss a little longer, giving her time to get the key securely under her tongue. Then I broke it off. I wondered what Cordelia was thinking.
- •I padlocked the door. It would keep them in, but it would also keep the crew out.
- •I handed it to Ron, and said, “Thanks a lot. I’ve got to get these kids to bed now. It’s almost midnight and they’re very tired.”
- •I lifted the next girl. She was silent, asking no questions, expecting nothing. Cordelia was helping me now, we both put the next two girls in at the same time. Then in silence, the last two.
- •I aimed at him and fired.
- •I told my tale as best I could, still waiting for word on Cordelia and the kids.
- •I just shrugged, terrified to lift my barricades. I couldn’t admit how desperately I wanted to revive the time when I was sure she loved me.
- •I looked at Cordelia. Usually we’re locked in our own world, our own needs and desires. Cordelia had just let me into a place where she was small and scared. “I’m so afraid of you,” I admitted.
- •I let the tension ease out of me and closed my eyes.
- •I got up to leave. His money could buy many things. A lesson in the cost of betrayal was one of them. Francois had made his choices.
- •I ignored that. “Why do you think Francois won’t betray you?”
- •I started to point out that was clichéd, too, but decided that Kessler wasn’t interested in knowing that. I didn’t talk.
- •I slammed my heel into his instep, causing him to howl in pain.
- •I didn’t know if Barbara was asking a rhetorical question or asking me about myself. I answered as if it were the latter, “The memory remains. Don’t silence her. Don’t ever blame her.”
- •I watched them as they went down the hall, not wanting to go with them. Instead, I walked back the way I came, giving Barbara and Cissy time to find their way home.
- •I didn’t look back as we drove away.
I didn’t. That was the horrible thing. “Load up the kids,” I said, to buy time. Maybe if I got enough men out of here I could chance pulling my gun.
“This child has a high fever. She needs some sort of medical care,” Cordelia said. She held one of the girls in her arms.
“What are we supposed to do? Call a fuckin’ doctor?” Vern let out.
“She’s a doctor. She goes with us,” I ordered, pointing at Cordelia.
“You’ll watch her?” Quince demanded.
“She’s useful. For now. Yeah, I’ll watch her.”
“The other one stays, then,” Quince said, his words leaving no choice. I had won with Cordelia, but I wasn’t going to win with Karen. Quince wasn’t going to give me that kind of power, even if it meant burning a woman alive.
The children and Cordelia, you still have to fight for them, I told myself. “Whatever.” I shrugged. Cordelia turned away. She couldn’t stand to look at me anymore.
Quince just nodded. Vern picked up one of the sets of handcuffs.
“C’mon, girlie,” he called to Karen as he began stalking her.
“Get the kids out of here,” I ordered.
“Let ’em watch,” Quince countermanded me. “Let ’em see what happens if they don’t behave.”
If you pretend to care, they’ll use it against you. The girls would be out of the room by now if Quince hadn’t wanted to use them against me. I wouldn’t make that mistake again.
“No, you can’t!” Karen screamed as Vern lunged at her.
“C’mon, girlie, you can’t get away from me,” he baited, a savage grin on his face. He grabbed her arm, jerking her to him. “So I hear you like it with girls, huh?” he hissed at her.
Karen used her free hand to claw him, raking his face from his eyebrows down to his chin. Vern let go of her, howling in rage. Some of the other men began mocking him. Several of the children were crying in terror.
Vern lunged at Karen again, tackling her and throwing her heavily to the floor.
I edged away from the fight until I was next to the table. Karen screamed as Vern began pummeling her. While everyone was watching them, I grabbed the other set of handcuffs. And the key that went with it. I put the key in the small change pocket of my jeans; I couldn’t risk dropping it, but it had to be close at hand.
“You little queer girlie,” Vern shouted at Karen. “I’ll teach you.” He grabbed her face and tried to kiss her, but she spat at him and jerked away. He began hitting her again.
It was time to stop this. I came around behind Vern, grabbed his shoulders, and yanked him off Karen.
“You stupid asshole,” I yelled at him. “Can’t you cuff a girl without beating the shit out of her? Just handcuffs, it’s weird sex and the building caught on fire. Handcuffs and internal injuries, it’s murder. Use your fucking brain.” I locked the handcuff around one wrist, then grabbed her under the shoulder and lifted her off the floor. Karen didn’t protest. I couldn’t be nice to her. I hoped she didn’t do anything that would make me hurt her. I hauled her across the room to an exposed pipe, pulled one end of the handcuffs around it, then locked her other hand, leaving her fastened to the pipe.
“There, that’s how it’s done.”
Vern glared at me before sputtering out, “I bet you’re queer, too. I bet you want to do it with her.”
“I already have, Vern,” I said calmly. “Too bad you’ll never get the chance.”
“Fuckin’ dyke,” he muttered.
“With you as the alternative, what choice do we have?” I know it’s an old line, but Vern had probably never heard it before. “Now, why don’t we get out of here?” I needed to give Karen the key.
“After you,” Quince said. He wasn’t going to let me out of his sight.
“Not going to kiss your girlfriend good-bye?” Vern sneered, his ego in pain.
I started to retort, “Why, so you can get your cheap thrill of the year?” but instead I replied, “That would be fitting, wouldn’t it? Better me than you.”
I turned back to Karen, at the same time I put my hand in my pocket for a second, then reached up and wiped the sweat off my face. And hoped that moving, with my back to them, no one noticed me putting the key in my mouth. This wasn’t what I would have chosen as an ideal key passing ploy, but it was all that presented itself. Karen looked startled to see me next to her again, as if she was wondering how I was going to betray her this time.
“Bye, Karen,” I said, not wanting to talk much with a key in my mouth.
She shook her head in disbelief, her eyes wide and terrified. I took her head between my hands. She shrank away from me, forcing me to lean into her. Then I kissed her. Karen didn’t fight me, but she didn’t respond either, her lids a hard line beneath mine. I increased the pressure, prying her lips open with my tongue. I couldn’t risk transferring the key until I was sure it wouldn’t slip out and fall to the floor. Finally, Karen began to react. Using my tongue, I maneuvered the key out of my mouth and into hers. She gave a slight intake of breath, but that was all.