- •The Intersection of Law and Desire
- •I let her sit in silence for a few moments before repeating, “What do they have on you?”
- •I hesitated for a second, embarrassed at what came to mind. “Oh, hell. Jerking off,” I finally admitted.
- •I felt a touch of slickness between my legs. “I’m wet,” I acknowledged.
- •I brushed some of the water out of my hair, hoping it would spot her leather interior and muttered, “Whoever said, ‘Better late than never’?”
- •I would be seeing Cordelia tomorrow, I suddenly realized. And myself in the mirror later tonight. I gently removed Karen’s arms from around my neck.
- •I picked up her bike rack and my duffel bag with my oh so beloved running shoes, while Cordelia managed her bike and gear. After locking up, we headed down to put the bike on her car.
- •I turned sharply around to scan the road. “Nope. Not a Rolls in sight. The snootiest car visible is a Cadillac. And it’s not even this year’s model. I don’t think they’re watching you right now.”
- •I watched them as they pedaled away, Torbin riding abreast with Cordelia. She was nodding her head to something he was saying. Then a line of trees hid them from my view.
- •I stopped. Clearly we needed to have more than a one-sided conversation. Joanne looped back to me.
- •I shrugged noncommittally.
- •I nodded as I waited by the passenger door for her to open it.
- •I grinned at his use of tv cop show cliché, then said, “I’ll do what I can. I’ll call you as soon as I’ve got something to report.”
- •I didn’t recognize the desk sergeant. I introduced myself, then bantered a bit about the Saints’ chances for the playoffs this year.
- •I opened it and started reading, although I knew it would back him up. Bill did paperwork until I decided I had read all of the autopsy report that I cared to. I handed the file back to him.
- •I didn’t need to look around to know that Joey had arrived.
- •I let my disapproval hang in the silence for a long moment. “Eight months? And you’re just now wondering about it?”
- •I decided that sniping at each other wasn’t going to be helpful. “What do you do to calm her fears?”
- •I installed the night-light next to Cissy’s bed, then stayed up reading until a little after three, but no one stirred. Maybe the night-light would keep away Cissy’s fears.
- •I gave her a quick rundown while driving out of the airport maze. Then I asked the question I had been wanting to ask. “What do you know about child psychology?”
- •I shrugged, met her gaze for a moment, then looked away. “What do we do?” I demanded.
- •I stood gazing out the window to avoid looking at her while she packed up.
- •I nodded yes.
- •I thought for a moment. Barbara Selby couldn’t afford anything like it. Then I remembered the money Karen was paying me.
- •I decided to do some work on my one paying case and dialed Torbin’s number.
- •I didn’t reply, instead I crossed my arms and looked away from him.
- •I knelt beside Cissy. “I think I like the blue one the best. Which one do you like?”
- •I nodded, then said, “I’m glad you noticed.”
- •I nodded, then added, “I’m not asking for your money back.”
- •I started to ask her about Lindsey, but realized that I was picking at scabs, scratching and irritating them.
- •I sat next to her, taking her hand between both of mine. “Now tell me about your day.”
- •I shuddered beneath Cordelia’s embrace, warmth a fragile and fleeting thing.
- •I didn’t answer. I slowly leaned back into her embrace. Warm and alive and not in immediate pain seemed to be all that I could offer her.
- •I watched Cordelia as she spoke. She believed what she said, but if I gave in to her wishes, then the power became hers and I would have to trust that she would not use it.
- •I turned and led the way to the kitchen.
- •I quickly hurried down the stairs and out of the courtyard, feeling ragged and torn, unwilling to have her voice leave another mark on me.
- •I looked again at the matchbook. “Heart of Desire” was scripted in gold on a black background. Some of the gold lettering had begun to chip.
- •I said, “What are you working on? We might—”
- •I reluctantly gave him the number to Cordelia’s clinic.
- •I sat for a moment before finally replying, “I need to talk to a lawyer first.”
- •I put the black binder back on o’Connor’s desk, a faint unsettled queasiness rolling in my stomach.
- •I thought for a moment. Legally it would probably be Aunt Greta, but she was the last person I’d want involved. “I guess my cousin, Torbin Robedeaux.”
- •I watched Joey walk out of the bar. The fish had taken the bait. But look what usually happens to bait. I didn’t drive by Cordelia’s apartment on my way out of the Quarter.
- •I held my temper. Joey was playing with me, testing my limits. “I like men. I even love some men. I just get real bored with them when they take their clothes off.”
- •I started to say it wasn’t her money but her mortal soul that I was worried about, but Joey wouldn’t understand and I was beyond explaining it.
- •I turned into the driveway of Lindsey’s office.
- •I finally broke the silence by asking, “Is she okay?”
- •I knew she was right. Law and justice aren’t the same thing. “Is she okay? How badly hurt is she?”
- •I spun on my heel, angry at her. Then I turned back and said as gently as I could, “If you need my help, you know my number. Call me anytime.”
- •I headed in the direction he had indicated. For a moment, the sound of our footsteps mingled, then his faded into the distance and mine alone echoed.
- •I nodded and he continued.
- •I looked at the floor for several moments before I finally answered, “For a while. I lived there…I couldn’t get away from him.” Then I said, “I’d prefer to talk about something else.”
- •I spent most of the weekend at my apartment. No one called me, and I called no one.
- •I nodded slowly, but made no other reply.
- •I climbed into the backseat.
- •I got down to business. “So when does the ceiling fall on Zeke’s head?”
- •I handed the last box to Mr. Unfriendly, then hopped out of the truck. Zeke led the way back into the building. Mr. Silent followed me, closing the door on the cool night.
- •I gave both Betsy and Camille my phone number. Then, with Camille running interference, we headed back downstairs.
- •I didn’t know what to do except respond. I had not expected this. I had come up with dozens of scenarios, but none of them had included Lindsey kissing me.
- •I shrugged, then since she was fronting the money, answered, “No, not for you, it shouldn’t be.”
- •I crossed my arms over my chest, a barricade of sorts. “I need a shrink’s advice,” was my opening. “How do you say no when someone’s making a sexual advance that you’re not sure you want?”
- •I said nothing. I didn’t think Lindsey deserved the accident, but that was a road she had to walk.
- •I felt a surge of jealousy. I knew I wasn’t Cordelia’s first lover, but that wasn’t the same thing as hearing Lindsey describe this.
- •I checked the gun. It was loaded. I suddenly turned and pointed it at Algernon. He stopped and merely looked at me.
- •In the alley you will meet your escort to the boat. That way no one can follow you or recognize your car.
- •I switched it on and found the path into the dark woods.
- •I took one of the pay packets out and waved it in Vern’s face. Then I said, “I don’t pay sexist assholes. You want your money, you’d better deal with me.”
- •I didn’t. That was the horrible thing. “Load up the kids,” I said, to buy time. Maybe if I got enough men out of here I could chance pulling my gun.
- •I held the kiss a little longer, giving her time to get the key securely under her tongue. Then I broke it off. I wondered what Cordelia was thinking.
- •I padlocked the door. It would keep them in, but it would also keep the crew out.
- •I handed it to Ron, and said, “Thanks a lot. I’ve got to get these kids to bed now. It’s almost midnight and they’re very tired.”
- •I lifted the next girl. She was silent, asking no questions, expecting nothing. Cordelia was helping me now, we both put the next two girls in at the same time. Then in silence, the last two.
- •I aimed at him and fired.
- •I told my tale as best I could, still waiting for word on Cordelia and the kids.
- •I just shrugged, terrified to lift my barricades. I couldn’t admit how desperately I wanted to revive the time when I was sure she loved me.
- •I looked at Cordelia. Usually we’re locked in our own world, our own needs and desires. Cordelia had just let me into a place where she was small and scared. “I’m so afraid of you,” I admitted.
- •I let the tension ease out of me and closed my eyes.
- •I got up to leave. His money could buy many things. A lesson in the cost of betrayal was one of them. Francois had made his choices.
- •I ignored that. “Why do you think Francois won’t betray you?”
- •I started to point out that was clichéd, too, but decided that Kessler wasn’t interested in knowing that. I didn’t talk.
- •I slammed my heel into his instep, causing him to howl in pain.
- •I didn’t know if Barbara was asking a rhetorical question or asking me about myself. I answered as if it were the latter, “The memory remains. Don’t silence her. Don’t ever blame her.”
- •I watched them as they went down the hall, not wanting to go with them. Instead, I walked back the way I came, giving Barbara and Cissy time to find their way home.
- •I didn’t look back as we drove away.
I held my temper. Joey was playing with me, testing my limits. “I like men. I even love some men. I just get real bored with them when they take their clothes off.”
“That so?” Zeke asked, looking me over. “You oughtta come up to my place sometime.”
“Why? You got a good-looking daughter?” I replied.
Zeke didn’t like my answer, but Joey guffawed and even Mr. Silent snickered. Zeke was probably in his fifties, short, his balding head shiny with sweat.
“No wonder you’re doing this kind of shit,” Zeke retorted. His implication was clear. Whatever was in those boxes was about sex and it wasn’t missionary position.
“It’s late. We’d better get going,” Joey said. But he didn’t hurry; he was still enjoying Zeke’s discomfort.
“No harm meant,” Zeke said to Joey, keeping his “eyes on the prize,” so to speak. Joey wasn’t the top dog, that was clear, but he was the connection to the top dog.
Joey nodded, then said, “You want another beer, Mick?”
I shook my head. I hadn’t touched the one I had.
“You want something else?” Zeke asked me. I was the assistant to the top dog’s connection.
“No, I’m fine,” I answered politely.
“Well, you come by any time you want. Any friend of Joey’s is a friend of mine.”
I merely smiled at his generous offer.
“I’ll call you in a few days,” Joey told Zeke as he stood up.
I slid off the file cabinet. Zeke, proper gentleman that he was, also stood up. I stepped over Mr. Silent, who didn’t budge an inch. As I passed by Mr. Unfriendly, I handed him my untouched beer. “Here, you look like you need this more than I do.” He almost smiled at me. I had made a new friend.
Joey said good-bye to Zeke, then joined me in the hallway.
“Did you count the boxes?” he asked.
“No,” I lied.
Joey headed for the storeroom. I followed and watched while he counted boxes.
“Thirty-nine,” he said. “That’s not right. Goddamn, they shorted me one.”
“Why don’t we both count?” I suggested.
Joey started on one side and I started on the other. Several piles of boxes that had been stacked haphazardly, making it hard to count. I clambered between the boxes to get close enough to see what I was doing. One pile had a dangerous lean to it. I could see why Mr. Unfriendly and Mr. Silent hadn’t done too well on the competitive career track of unloading trucks and had been forced into a life of crime.
“Those guys are assholes,” Joey commented as he noticed the off-kilter stack.
The leaning tower of boxes began to fall over. I was able to catch the stack and keep it from going all the way down. Joey joined me, moving the boxes to a safer location while I held the weight. The bottom box had split open.
“So, what’s in there?” I asked, able to see nothing clearly through the damaged box.
“You really want to know?”
“Like I said, ‘Knowledge is power.’”
Joey shrugged and picked up the box. “Some of this stuff is fucked anyway,” he said as he opened it up. “Karen’s money paid for this,” he added.
No emotions, play his game, I cautioned myself. It wasn’t neatly bound, like the one in O’Connor’s office. A cheap paper cover, now torn, was the only barrier hiding these pictures. I shrugged as Joey handed it to me, feigning a nonchalance and disinterest I didn’t feel.
“This is where the money is,” Joey obviously felt some need for explanation. “Cheap-shit pictures. Guys pay big bucks for them.”
“Cheap labor, too,” I commented. Keep him talking, find out as much as you can.
“Yeah,” Joey gave a nervous laugh, “Yeah, you’re right.”
“Where do you get this stuff?”
“You get a camera, you take a picture.”
“You?”
“Not me. Some other people.”
“Here?”
“Around here. I try to keep away from that part of it.”
“Why?”
“Hard to spend the money when you’re in jail. I don’t take pictures or do any of that shit, so why hang around and risk it?”
“Makes sense to me.” I shrugged. “Can I have this?”
Joey looked at me, trying to figure out why I wanted pictures of men having sex with children.
“Revenge,” I explained. “This could be real embarrassing if it were found in somebody’s desk.”
“Hey, good idea. I never thought of that.” Then after a moment more, he added, “But can you hold off for a few weeks? I can’t have this turning up some place weird when it’s supposed to be sitting here in a box.”
“Sure, no problem. Revenge is best when it’s least expected.” I had to resist skimming through the pictures to look for Cissy. If I found her, Joey might not survive it. “So, let’s count these boxes.”
We counted, or Joey counted and I pretended to count.
“Forty,” he said when he finished. “Is that what you got?”
“Forty, it is.”
“With one box damaged. Let’s get out of here.”
I couldn’t agree more. I tightly rolled up the porn magazine, holding it in my fist like a weapon. I wondered what a good shrink, seeing my body language, would think. I followed Joey out, waiting as he padlocked the door. At the far end of the hallway, one of the prostitutes was leading a man upstairs. Neither of them looked at us. No one else was in the hall. We left, using the back alley door.
“You know, you forgot one thing,” Joey said, turning to me. We were alone in the dark alley.
“Yeah? What’s that?” I tensed, ready for a fight, wondering if he had a gun.
“You forgot to ask just how much you get paid.”
“So how much do I get paid?” I asked, keeping the relief out of my voice. “And when? I need some bucks.”
“You should always ask that, you know.”
“Next time I will. But let’s be real, I need the money too much to squabble over what you’ll pay me. You were fair on the Colombé deal; you’ll be fair here. And if you want to screw me, you’ll screw me no matter what you say up front.”
“Ain’t that the truth. Anyway, you get half-a-K for tonight’s work,” Joey answered. “I’ll get it to you in a few days.”
We got into Joey’s car, and he pulled out of the alley onto the street. He didn’t take Desire, cutting over to Louisa instead. For a while Joey elaborated on all the reasons I should buy the same kind of car he had. I listened politely for a bit, giving him a chance to justify his choice until I judged it wouldn’t be impolite to change the subject on him.
“How’d you get Karen involved?” I asked.
“She had money, I had a place to spend it.”
“Just like that, huh? What made her spend the money on you?”
“Charm, good looks.” Joey reflected for a moment. “Probably being at the Sans Pareil. She didn’t know I was a poor boy from Lake Charles. You get in a place like that and say ‘surefire money maker,’ and their eyes just glisten. Rich people always want more money. I was in the right place, and I made money for Karen. She didn’t ask too many questions.”
“Why’d you have to get the compromising picture?”
“Hey, every business deal has to have insurance. That was mine. It came in handy. It got Karen to roll over a few more times after she wanted to pull out. Besides that, if I hadn’t leaned on Karen a bit, she wouldn’t have called you and we never would’ve met.”
“An odd spin of fortune’s wheel.”
“Yeah, something like that.” Joey didn’t seem to quite know what to make of my metaphor. “Don’t worry about Karen. She’s got enough money to go around.”