- •I thought for a moment. “I don’t know. If I did, I don’t remember.”
- •I looked out at the Japanese maple. “Nice weather we’re having.”
- •I covered the receiver with my hand and repeated this to Abby.
- •Chapter Two
- •I leaned against the back door. Jane often had an interesting tale to tell, and, thanks to the volume of her voice, it was easy to eavesdrop on her phone calls. Only the odd word or two escaped me.
- •I looked at my mother, who looked pointedly at Karen’s hair.
- •I couldn’t blame Hunter or his drinking for the accident, though both had an effect on the aftermath. If he’d been sober, I’d still be called Frankie.
- •I let him carry on the rest of the way without comment. It felt like my eye had been whacked with a hammer.
- •I watched Marilyn change the IV bag and punch buttons on the various machines.
- •I closed my eyes and tried to think of something clever to say about Oedipus. Nothing came to mind. I checked the window again.
- •I shrugged. “He came stumbling in around midnight and started bugging me. When I told him to leave me alone, he grabbed me from behind, wrapped his arms around my chest, and started squeezing.”
- •I made a wry face. “Oh? And what about your boyfriend, Brad? I assume he’s the reason you’re getting dressed and putting on makeup.”
- •I watched the shaft of moonlight until I fell asleep, sometime after midnight. I dreamed about field corn, and Abby, and my name.
- •I remained where I was. Unless she got up to pinch me—and she’d been known to—I didn’t bother to correct myself.
- •I looked at my mother. “I wish they made seatbelts for mouths,” I said.
- •I should have gone straight over to Susan’s house.
- •I pulled up a chair and sat down next to Nana.
- •I blew the flame out. “Do you want me to let the dog go? I’d be more than happy to let him bite your hand off.”
- •I said, “Louise called, Abby. She said Belvedere’s doing fine. The Rimadyl is already working wonders.”
- •I closed my eyes and pressed my lips against her ear. “I don’t know what to do,” I said softly, not sure I wanted her to hear me.
- •I held her hand for a moment, savoring the sensation. Then I let it go.
- •I chewed the last of my Portobello. Susan ordered dessert, a crème brûlée.
- •I caught my mother’s eye. It was choke, not laugh.
- •I felt myself tensing up. I took a deep breath, willing my muscles to relax. “The guys you’ve dated. Did you do this with any of them?”
- •I laughed. “I’m not early. You’re late. Please note, however, that I didn’t blow the horn. I didn’t even get out and knock.”
- •I pulled the waistband of my underwear down and considered my reflection in the bathroom’s full-length mirror. My hysterectomy scar was still angry and red.
- •I buckled my belt and walked through the door Abby held open for me.
- •I laughed. “It sneaks up on you. Abby and I were watching vh1 the other night. They had some nostalgia show on, and what it was nostalgic for was the eighties.”
- •I hesitated. “I’m afraid she’ll fall into the wrong hands. I caught Jake holding her under the pond with a stick.”
- •I shook my head emphatically. “No way. She’ll have gravy,” I said to the woman with the hairnet, “and so will I.”
- •I nodded, taking a bite of dill pickle. “Yes. People had extra-marital affairs in 1923, just like they do now.”
- •I waited. Whatever I said, I didn’t want to sound shocked. The problem was that I was shocked.
- •I pushed away the plate of half-eaten roast beef and covered it with my napkin.
- •I opened my mouth to say, “What do you mean,” but I knew what she meant.
- •I laughed. “a kind of Stray Cats meets the Talking Heads sort of thing?”
- •I was beginning to feel the effects of a heavy dinner and a good deal of wine, and even though it meant the risk of falling asleep mid-sentence, I wanted to be more comfortable.
- •I refused to meet him at the Brentwood, suggesting instead that we meet for dinner at a Chinese restaurant called the Hang Chow. I told him that my mother and Nana would be coming with me.
- •I stood up. “Hi, Shirley. Please, have a seat.”
- •I nodded. “College. I want to be a professor.”
- •I propped my feet up on the glass-topped coffee table and picked a book from my mother’s library pile. It was Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown. I’d never heard of it.
- •I nodded happily. “I have my mother’s chariot for the evening. It’s at your disposal.”
- •I stepped into the weird hospital elevator with its facing doors and pressed the button for the fourth floor.
- •I made a whooshing sound.
- •I stood there, dumbstruck. Condensation from the glass in my hand dripped down my arm. Jean finished her drink and poured another.
- •I laughed. “You and me both. Tell me, before you left for Yugoslavia, were you seeing anyone?”
- •I nodded dumbly. Susan stepped back. Had I been blind? There had always been someone. I relied on her, I couldn’t live without her, I loved her.
- •I took the doll from her and put it back on the dresser. Across the hall, the bathroom door opened. My mother stood there, holding a curling iron.
- •I picked up a Life magazine and sat next to Abby on the bed. “Can I offer you some reading material? This is all about Jackie Kennedy.”
- •In the personnel office, Edna spoke to a gray-haired woman in gold-rimmed glasses who, according to her nameplate, was Marcella Rockway.
- •I nodded. Abby bristled, and I saw Edna put a hand on her arm.
- •I stared at her in amazement. Nana could be stubborn, but I’d never known her to stand up to my grandfather so firmly that he backed down.
- •I opened my mouth to say I didn’t care what it cost. Abby put her hand on my leg again. She shook her head slightly.
- •I said, “How can you just sit there like you’re attending a second grade piano recital? You’re polite, but you’re bored. You’re waiting for it all to be over.”
- •I sat up. I didn’t want to look at her, and I didn’t want to cry, so I closed my eyes.
- •I took her by the hands and helped her to her feet. “Thanks for the warning, but I’ve made my decision. It’s you, me, and Rosalyn. I just hope she doesn’t hog the covers.”
- •I glanced at the illuminated dial of my watch. “I don’t care about the speeding ticket. Put your foot down.”
- •I hung up the phone. “I’ll just bet,” I said, putting my credit card back into my wallet. Abby came out of the bathroom, a white towel wrapped around her body.
- •Vivian laughed. “What’s your favorite color, Poppy?”
I refused to meet him at the Brentwood, suggesting instead that we meet for dinner at a Chinese restaurant called the Hang Chow. I told him that my mother and Nana would be coming with me.
“Sure,” he said. “Bring everyone. Bring your grandfather, too. It’ll be Old Home Day.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “That would be better than Old Home Week.”
When dinnertime rolled around, Hunter was nowhere to be found. I was relieved. He’d been particularly erratic of late, getting drunk during the week and missing work. He was only three months from retirement, and I knew Nana dreaded the freedom he would soon have. I was counting the hours myself. I just wanted to get through graduation, get a summer job, and move out of the house before all the constraints of his work life disappeared. I’d received a financial aid package from N. C. State that would be more than adequate to cover my expenses in the fall, but I was still waiting to hear from UNC. Until I did, I couldn’t make my final arrangements, and though my mother had backed off from talking about her apartment plans, I knew she was waiting, too.
Lucky Eddie was late. We’d been in the Hang Chow for twenty minutes and drunk a pot of tea before he sauntered in, Jack behind him, and, bringing up the rear, a woman in her mid-forties with long black hair. She was dressed like the seventies Cher, complete with flared hip-hugger jeans and a fringed pocketbook.
“Frankie,” Eddie said, looking around the table as if trying to spot me in a large crowd. “Ah, there you are. Stand up. I want you to meet Shirley Chantrell. She’s a friend of mine from Parents without Partners.”
“Parents without Partners,” my mother said slowly. “What in the world . . .”
I stood up. “Hi, Shirley. Please, have a seat.”
She gave me a limp handshake and a vague smile. Eddie pulled out a chair for her and she sat down. My mother and grandmother introduced themselves. I avoided my mother’s eye and caught Jack’s instead. He shrugged. There was a story there, but I was going to have to wait to hear it.
“Dinner’s on me,” Eddie said. “Whatever you want. Where’s your grandfather?”
“He’s, um, busy.”
“Working late,” he observed equably. “He’s getting kind of long in the bone to be working those hours, isn’t he?”
“Tooth,” I corrected automatically.
“Yeah.” Eddie examined the menu. “So, what’s good here?”
“Everything except the Mongolian Beef,” I replied. “Too many green onions.”
“I like green onions,” Eddie boomed. “I’ll have that.”
We ordered family style. My mother ate in complete silence. Nana kept up a cheerful patter about absolutely nothing, and Jack nodded and answered my questions about Jane and his plans to join the Marine Corps. Shirley spoke very little, just enough to say that she had two teenaged girls who were spending the week with their father in California, and that she was glad to be able to make the trip to Raleigh with Eddie.
My father, meanwhile, shoveled rice into his mouth like a thirdworld orphan. Food flying, he kept up a running commentary about the drive, how much work was being done on the West Virginia Turnpike, how quickly they’d managed to get from Detroit to Raleigh, and how much the roads had changed, particularly around Research Triangle Park.
“I wouldn’t have known the place,” he said. “Who’d have thought? This used to be a haystack town.”
“Hayseed?” I suggested.
He squinted in a fashion reminiscent of the old Eddie. Then he smiled.
“She might be smarter than her old man,” he said to Shirley. “But we’ll see if she does as well in college as I did.”
Eddie had taken two drafting classes at Henry Ford Community College in the mid-nineteen seventies. He’d gotten an A in both, but over the years this experience had transformed in the telling. First, it became an associate’s degree and then a bachelor’s. Sometimes, he claimed to be an engineer at Ford’s. On other occasions he said he was a computer programmer. According to my mother, when we lived in Michigan he operated a stamping machine that pressed sheet metal into car doors.
“Have you decided where you’re going?” he asked. “You were thinking about N. C. State and Duke.”
“Carolina,” I said. “University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.”
“Going to be an engineer like your old man?”
“No, I’m going to be an English major.”
He grimaced. “What’re you going to do with that? Teach?”