Books on Happiness / The Definitive Book Of Body Language- 2 students

Evaluation and Deceit Signals

Why Bob Always Lost at Chess

We have a colleague, Bob, who enjoys playing chess. We challenged him to a competition, which we secretly videotaped for later analysis of his body language. The video revealed that Boboften rubbed his ear or touched his nose during the game, but only when he was unsure of his next move. We discovered that when we signalled an intention to move a chess piece by touching it, Bob's body language would signal what he thought about the proposed move. When he felt he could beat a move, and had probably already thought of a counter move, he'd signal his confidence by Steepling; when he was uncertain or unhappy he'd use the Mouth Cover, Ear Pull or Neck Scratch. This happened with such predictability that when we secretly explained Bob's cues to the other members of our chess group, soon most could beat poor old Bob by anticipating his thoughts from his body language. Bob has not been offered a copy of this book.

The Double Meaning

During a videotaped role-play interview, our interviewee suddenly covered his mouth and rubbed his nose after he had been asked a question by the interviewer. He used the Mouth Cover for several seconds before answering, then returned to his open pose. Up to that point in the role-play, the interviewee had kept an open posture with his coat unbuttoned, palms visible, nodding his head and leaning forward when he answered questions, so we thought the gestures might have been isolated or out of context. On reviewing the videotape, we asked him about the hand-to-mouth gesture and he said that when he was asked the question, he thought he could have responded in two ways: one negative, one positive. As he thought about the negative answer and of how the interviewer might react to it, he covered his mouth. When he thought of the positive answer, however, his hand dropped away from his mouth and he

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resumed an open posture. His uncertainty about the interviewer's possible reaction to the negative reply had resulted in the sudden Mouth Cover.

This illustrates how easy it can be to misinterpret a hand-to- face gesture and to jump to wrong conclusions.

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Chapter 8

EYE SIGNALS

Some men have the ability to see through solid surfaces

Throughout history, we've been preoccupied with the eyes and their effect on human behaviour. Eye contact regulates conversation, gives cues of dominance, 'He looked down his nose at me' or forms the basis for suspecting a liar, 'Look me in the eye when you say that!' We spend much of our face-to-face time looking at the other person's face, so eye signals are a vital part of being able to read a person's attitude and thoughts. When people meet for the first time they make a series of quick Judgements about each other, based largely on what they see.

We use phrases such as 'She looked daggers at him', 'He had that gleam in his eye', 'She has big baby eyes', 'He has shifty eyes', She has inviting eyes', 'She gave him a look to kill', 'She gave an icy stare' or 'He gave me the evil eye'. We also say a person has Bette Davis eyes, Spanish eyes, bedroom eyes, hard, angry, blank, private, sad, happy, defiant, cold, jealous, unforgiving and piercing eyes. When we use these phrases we are unwittingly referring

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to the size of the person's pupils and to his gaze behaviour. The eyes can be the most revealing and accurate of all human communication signals because they are a focal point on the body and the pupils work independently of conscious control.

The Dilating Pupils

In given light conditions, your pupils will dilate or contract as your attitude and mood change from positive to negative and vice versa. When someone becomes excited, their pupils can dilate to up to four times their original size. Conversely, an angry, negative mood causes the pupils to contract to what are commonly known as 'beady little eyes' or 'snake eyes'. Lighter eyes can look more attractive because it's easier to see the dilation taking place.

Eckhard Hess, the former head of the Department of Psychology at the University of Chicago and pioneer of the studies of pupillometry, found that pupil size is affected by one's general state of arousal. In general, pupil size increases when people view something that stimulates them. Hess found that the pupils of both heterosexual men and women dilate when viewing pin-ups of the opposite sex and constrict when viewing same-sex pin-ups. Similar findings have also been obtained when people were asked to look at pleasant or unpleasant pictures including foods, political figures, a disabled child or war scenes, or when listening to music. Hess also found that increases in pupil size are positively correlated

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with mental activity associated with problem solving, reaching maximum dilation as a person arrives at the solution.

We applied this research to the business world and demonstrated how people rate models in photographs as more attractive if the photo has been altered to make the pupil area larger. This was an effective way to increase the sales of any product that used a close-up of the face, such as women's cosmetics, hair products and clothing. Using brochures in a direct mail campaign, we were able to help increase the direct catalogue sales of Revlon lipsticks by 45% by enlarging the pupil size of the models in the photographs.

Which picture do you find more attractive?

The eyes are a key signal in courtship and the purpose of eye make-up is to emphasise eye display. If a woman is attracted to a man, she will dilate her pupils at him and he is likely to decode this signal correctly without knowing it. This is why romantic encounters are most successful in dimly lit places because everyone's pupils dilate and create the impression that couples are interested in each other.

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When a man is excited by a woman, which part of his body can grow to almost three times its size?

When lovers gaze deep into each other's eyes, they are unknowingly looking for pupil-dilation signals and each becomes excited by the dilation of the other's pupils. Research has shown that when pornographic films are shown to men their pupils can dilate to almost three times their size. Most women's pupils gave the greatest dilation when looking at pictures of mothers and babies. Young babies and children have larger pupils than adults, and babies' pupils constantly dilate when adults are present in an attempt to look as appealing as possible and therefore receive constant attention. This is why the bestselling children's toys almost always have oversized pupils.

Research also shows that pupil dilation has a reciprocal effect on the person who sees the dilated pupils. Men looking at pictures of women with dilated pupils showed greater pupil dilation than when they looked at pictures of women with constricted pupils.

Take the Pupil Test

The ability to decode pupil dilation is hardwired into the brain and happens completely automatically. To test this, cover diagram B with your hand and ask someone to stare at the 'pupils' in illustration A. Then switch them to staring at illustration B and you'll see how their pupils dilate to match the illustration, because their brain thinks it's looking at eyes that find it attractive. Women's pupils dilate faster than men's to create rapport with what their brain sees as another person's eyes.

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Hess conducted a pupil response experiment by showing five pictures to respondents: a naked male, a naked female, a baby, a mother and baby, and a landscape. Predictably, men's pupils dilated most at the naked female, gay men dilated most at the naked male but women's pupils dilated most at the picture of the mother and baby with the naked male picture coming in second.

Tests conducted with expert card players show that fewer games were won by the experts when their opponents wore dark glasses. For example, if an opponent was dealt four aces in a game of poker, his rapid pupil dilation could be unconsciously detected by the expert, who would 'sense' he should not bet on the next hand. Dark glasses worn by the opponents eliminated pupil signals and, as a result, the experts won fewer hands than usual.

Pupil decoding was used by the ancient Chinese gem traders who watched for the pupil dilation of their buyers when negotiating prices. Centuries ago, prostitutes put drops of belladonna, a tincture containing atropine,

into their eyes to dilate their Pupils and to make themselves appear more desirable.

David Bowie has differentcoloured eyes - one blue and one hazel - and one is permanently dilated; this condition is called Heterochromia and it affects 1% of the population. Bowie's eye variations are the result of a punch-up over a girlfriend at the age of 12

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An old cliche says, 'Look a person in the eye when you talk to them' when you are communicating or negotiating, but it's better to practise 'looking them in the pupil' as the pupils will tell you their real feelings.

Women Are Better at It, as Usual

Dr Simon Baron-Cohen at Cambridge University conducted some tests where subjects were shown photographs in which only a narrow strip of the face across both eyes was visible. The subjects were asked to choose between mental states expressed in the photographs such as 'friendly', 'relaxed', 'hostile' and 'worried' and attitudes such as 'desire for you' and 'desire for someone else'.

Statistically, pure guesswork would result in half the answers being correct but men's average score was 19 out of 25 while women scored 22 out of 25. This test shows that both sexes have a greater ability to decode eye signals than body signals and that women are better at it than men. Scientists don't yet know how this eye information is sent or decoded, they simply know that we can do it. Autistic people - who are nearly all males - scored the lowest. Autistic brains lack the ability to read people's body language and this is one reason why autistic people have difficulty in forming social relationships, even though many have very high IQs.

Giving Them the Eye

Humans are the only primates that have whites of the eye, known as the sclera — apes' eyes are completely dark. The white of the eye evolved as a communication aid to allow humans to see where other people were looking, because direction is linked to emotional states. Women's brains have more hardwiring than men's to read emotions, and one consequence of this is that women have more white of the eye than men. Apes lack eye-whites, which means that their prey don't know

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where the ape is looking or whether they have been spotted, giving the ape a greater chance of hunting success.

Humans are the only primates with pronounced whites of the eye.

The Eyebrow Flash

This gesture is a long-distance 'hello' greeting signal which has been used everywhere since ancient times. The Eyebrow Flash is universal and is also used by monkeys and apes as a social greeting signal, confirming that it's an inborn gesture. The eyebrows rise rapidly for a split second and then drop again and its purpose is to draw attention to the face so that clear signals can be exchanged. The only culture that doesn't use it is the Japanese, where it's considered improper or impolite and has definite sexual connotations.

The Eyebrow Flash

This is an unconscious signal that acknowledges the other Person's presence and is probably linked to the fear reaction of being surprised, or saying, 'I'm surprised and afraid of you', which translates to 'I acknowledge you and am not threatening'. We don't Eyebrow Flash strangers we pass in the street or People we don't like, and people who don't give the Eyebrow Flash on initial greeting are perceived as potentially aggressive. Trythis simple test and you'll discover first hand the power of the Eyebrow Flash — sit in the lobby of a hotel and Eyebrow Flash everyone who goes past. You'll see that not only do others return the Flash and smile, many will come over and

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begin to talk to you. The golden rule is always Eyebrow Flash people you like or those who you want to like you.

Eye Widening

Lowering the eyebrows is how humans show dominance or aggression towards others, whereas raising the eyebrows shows submission. Keating & Keating found that several species of apes and monkeys use exactly the same gestures for the same purpose. They also found that people who intentionally raise their eyebrows are perceived as submissive by both humans and apes, and that those who lower them are perceived as aggressive.

In Why Men Lie & Women Cry (Orion) we showed how women widen their eyes by raising their eyebrows and eyelids to create the 'baby face' appearance of a small infant. This has a powerful effect on men by releasing hormones into the brain, which stimulate the desire to protect and defend females. Women pluck and redraw their eyebrows higher up the forehead to appear more submissive because, on a subconscious level at least, they know it appeals to men. If men trim their eyebrows they do it from the top of the eyebrow down to make their eyes appear narrower and more authoritative.

High-placed eyebrows gave Marilyn Monroe a submissive appearance while low-set eyebrows gave James Cagney his aggressive look and JFK's turned-in eyebrows made him appear both authoritative and concerned

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