Books on Happiness / The Definitive Book Of Body Language- 2 students

Cultural Differences

culture and the Dani people of West Irian who had been isolated from the rest of the world. He recorded the same results, the exception being that, like the Japanese, these cultures could not distinguish fear from surprise.

He filmed these stone-age people enacting these same expressions and then showed them to Americans who correctly identified them all, proving that the meanings of smiling and facial expressions are universal.

The fact that expressions are inborn in humans was also demonstrated by Dr Linda Camras from DePaul University in Chicago. She measured Japanese and American infants' facial responses using the Facial Action Coding System (Oster & Rosenstein, 1991). This system allowed researchers to record, separate and catalogue infant facial expressions and they found that both Japanese and American infants displayed exactly the same emotional expressions.

So far in this book we have concentrated on body language that is generally common to most parts of the world. The biggest cultural differences exist mainly in relation to territorial space, eye contact, touch frequency and insult gestures. The regions that have the greatest number of different local signals are Arab countries, parts of Asia and Japan. Understanding cultural differences is too big a subject to be covered in one chapter so we'll stick to the basic things that you are likely to see abroad.

If a Saudi man holds another man's hand in public it's a sign of mutual respect. But don't do it in Australia, Texas or Liverpool, England

The Definitive Book of Body Language

Greeting Differences

Handshaking differences can make for some embarrassing and humorous cultural encounters. British, Australian, New Zealander, German and American colleagues will usually shake hands on meeting, and again on departure. Most European cultures will shake hands with each other several times a day, and some French have been noted to shake hands for up to 30 minutes a day. Indian, Asian and Arabic cultures may continue to hold your hand when the handshake has ended. Germans and French give one or two firm pumps followed by a short hold, whereas Brits give three to five pumps compared with an American's five to seven pumps. This is hilarious to observe at international conferences where a range of different handshake pumping takes place between surprised delegates. To the Americans, the Germans, with their single pump, seem distant. To the Germans however, the Americans pump hands as if they are blowing up an airbed.

When it comes to greeting with a cheek kiss, the Scandinavians are happy with a single kiss, the French mostly prefer a double, while the Dutch, Belgians and Arabs go for a triple kiss. The Australians, New Zealanders and Americans are continually confused about greeting kisses and bump noses as they fumble their way through a single peck. The Brits either avoid kissing by standing back or will surprise you with a European double kiss. In his book A View from the Summit, Sir Edmund Hillary recounts that on reaching the peak of Everest, he faced Sherpa Tenzing Norgay and offered a proper, British, congratulatory handshake. But Norgay leaped forward and hugged and kissed him - the proper congratulations of Tibetans.

When One Culture Encounters Another

When Italians talk they keep their hands held high as a way of holding the floor in a conversation. What seems like affection-

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arm touching during an Italian conversation is nothing more than a way of stopping the listener from raising his hands and taking the floor. To interrupt an Italian you must grab his hands in mid air and hold them down. As a comparison the Germans and British look as if they are physically paralysed when they talk. They are daunted when trying to converse with Italians and French and rarely get an opportunity to speak. French use their forearms and hands when they talk, Italians use their entire arms and body, while the Brits

and Germans stand at attention.

When it comes to doing international business, smart attire, excellent references and a good proposal can all become instantly unstuck by the smallest, most innocent gesture sinking the whole deal. Our research in 42 countries shows North Americans to be the least culturally sensitive people with the British coming in a close second. Considering that 86% of North Americans don't have a passport, it follows that they would be the most ignorant of international body language customs. Even George W Bush had to apply for a passport after becoming President of the United States so he could travel overseas. The Brits, however, do travel extensively but prefer everyone else to use British body signals, speak English and serve fish and chips. Most foreign cultures do not expect you to learn their language but are extremely impressed by the traveller who has taken the time to learn and use local body language customs. This tells them that you respect their culture.

The English Stiff-Upper-Lip

his gesture relates to pursing the lips to control the face so that facial expressions are reduced and as little emotion as Possible is shown. This way the English can give the impression of being in complete emotional control. When Princes Philip, Charles, Harry and William walked behind the coffin of Diana in 1997, they each held the Stiff-Upper-Lip expres-

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In Japan, make sure your shoes are spotlessly clean and in goodcondition.EverytimeaJapanesebows,heinspectsthem.

The Japanese way of listening to someone involves a repertoire of smiley nods and polite noises, which have no direct equivalent in other languages. The idea is to encourage you to keep on talking but this is often misinterpreted by Westerners and Europeans as agreement. The Head Nod is an almost universal sign for 'yes', except for the Bulgarians who use the gesture to signify 'no', and the Japanese who use it for politeness. If you say something a Japanese doesn't agree with, he'll still say 'yes' - or Hai in Japanese - to keep you talking. A Japanese 'yes' usually means, 'yes, I heard you' and not 'yes, I agree'. For example, if you say to a Japanese person 'you don't agree, do you?' he will nod his head and say 'yes' even though he may not agree. In the Japanese context, it means 'Yes, you are correct - I don't agree.'

The Japanese are concerned with saving face and have developed a set of rules to prevent things going wrong so try to avoid saying no or asking questions when the answer might be no. The closest a Japanese will get to saying the word no is, 'It is very difficult,' or 'We will give this positive study' when they really mean, 'Let's forget the whole thing and go home.'

'You Dirty, Disgusting Pig!' - Nose Blowing

Europeans and Westerners blow their noses into a handkerchief or tissue while Asians and Japanese spit or snort. Each is appalled by what they see as the other's 'disgusting' behaviour. This dramatic cultural difference is the direct result of the spead of tuberculosis in past centuries. In Europe, tuberculosis

was the AIDS of the era - a disease from which there was little hope of survival so governments instructed people to blow their nose to avoid further spreading the disease. This is why Westerners react so strongly to spitting - a spitting person could

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spread tuberculosis around, so people were as alarmed by that prospect as they would be if you could spread AIDS by spitting.

Modern nose-blowing is the result of a post epidemic of tuberculosis.

If tuberculosis had been a problem in Eastern countries, the cultural reaction would be the same as with Westerners. As a result the Japanese are appalled when someone produces a handkerchief, blows their nose into it and puts it back in their pocket purse or up their sleeve! Japanese are unimpressed at the English custom of men wearing a handkerchief in their jacket top pocket. This is the equivalent of proudly dangling a roll of toilet paper from the pocket, ready for action. Asians believe, correctly, that it is a healthier option to spit but it is a habit that is repulsive to Westerners and Europeans. This is why business meetings between Westerners and Europeans can fail when they've all got a cold. So don't feel upset by an Asian who spits or snorts and never blow your nose in front of a Japanese person.

The Three Most Common Cross-Cultural

Gestures

Let's examine the cultural interpretations and implications of three common hand gestures, the Ring, the Thumb-Up and the

V-sign.

1.The Ring

This gesture was popularised in the USA during the early nineteenth century by the newspapers that were starting a craze or using initials to shorten common phrases. There are many different views about what the initials 'OK' originally stood for, some believing it stood for 'all correct' which was regularly misspelled as 'oil korrect', while others say that it means the opposite of 'knock-out' that is, KO.

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'OK' to a Westerner, 'money' to a Japanese, 'zero' to

the French and insulting to the Turks and Brazilians

Another popular theory is that it is an abbreviation of 'Old Kinderhook', from the birthplace of a nineteenth-century American president who used the initials as a campaign slogan. It's obvious that the ring itself represents the letter 'O' in the 'OK' signal. The 'OK' meaning is common to all English-speaking countries and its meaning is fast spreading everywhere due to American television and movies, but it has other origins and meanings in certain places. For example, in France and Belgium it also means 'zero' or 'nothing'. In a Paris restaurant one evening, the waiter showed us to our table and asked, 'Is the table OK?' We flashed him the OK signal and he responded, 'Well, if you don't like it here we'll find you another table...' He had interpreted the OK signal as meaning 'zero' or 'worthless' - in other words, he thought we had communicated that we didn't like the table.

Use the 'OK' gesture to tell a French person their cooking is wonderful and they'll probably throw you out.

In Japan it can mean 'money'; if you're doing business in Japan and you make this sign for 'OK' a Japanese may think you're asking them for a bribe. In some Mediterranean countries it's an orifice signal, often used to infer that a man is homosexual. Show a Greek man the OK signal and he may thinkyou're inferring you or he is gay, while a Turk might thinkyou're calling him an 'arsehole'. It's rare in Arab countries where it is used as either a threat signal or as an obscenity.

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In the 1950s, before he became President, Richard Nixon visited Latin America on a goodwill tour to try to patch up strained relations with the locals. As he stepped out of his plane he showed the waiting crowds the American 'OK' signal and was stunned as they began booing and hissing at him Being unaware of local body language customs, Nixon's OK signal had been read as 'You're all a bunch of arseholes.'

If you travel internationally, the safest rule is to always ask the locals to show you their insult signals to avoid any possible embarrassing circumstances.

2.The Thumb-Up

In places that have strong British influence, such as Australia, the USA, South Africa, Singapore and New Zealand, the Thumb-Up gesture has three meanings: it's commonly used by hitch-hikers who are thumbing a lift; it is an OK signal; and when the thumb is jerked sharply upwards it becomes an insult, meaning 'up yours' or 'sit on this'. In some countries, such as Greece, the thumb is thrust forward and its main meaning is 'get stuffed'!

Never hitch-hike in Greece.

As we have already demonstrated, when Europeans count from one to five, they use the Thumb-Up to mean 'one', the index finger becomes 'two', whereas most English-speaking people count 'one' on the index finger and 'two' on the middle finger. In this case the Thumb-Up will represent the number 'five'.

This can mean 'Good', 'One', 'Up yours' or 'Sit on this' depending where you live

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Being the most powerful digit on the hand it is used as a sign of power and can be seen protruding from pockets, waistcoats and on lapels. The thumb is also used, in combination with other gestures, as a power and superiority signal or in situations where people try to get us 'under their thumb'. The thumb is referred

to in this expression because of its physical power.

3.TheV-Sign

This sign is common in Australia, New Zealand and Great Britain and carries an 'up yours' interpretation. Winston Churchill popularised the 'V for victory' sign during the Second World War, but his two-fingered version was done with the palm facing out, whereas the palm faces towards the speaker for the obscene insult version.

This can mean 'two' to an American, 'Victory' to a German and 'Up yours' in Britain

Its origin can be traced back centuries to the English archers who used these two fingers to fire their arrows. It was considered the ultimate degradation for a skilled archer to be captured and, rather than be executed, have his two shooting fingers removed. The two-fingered V sign quickly became used as a goading signal in battle by the British to show their enemies 'I've still got my shooting fingers.'

In parts of Europe, however, the palm-facing-in version still means 'victory' so an Englishman who uses it to tell a German 'up yours' could leave the German thinking he'd won a prize.

This signal now also means the number two in some parts of Europe, and if the insulted European was a bartender, his

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response could be to give an Englishman, American or Australian two mugs of beer.

To Touch or Not to Touch?

Whether or not someone will be offended by being touched during conversation depends on their culture. For example, the French and Italians love to continually touch as they talk, while the British prefer not to touch at any time unless it's on a sports field in front of a large audience. Intimate embracing by British, Australian and New Zealand sportsmen is copied from South American and Continental sportsmen who embrace and kiss each other after a goal is scored and continue this intimate behaviour in the dressing rooms. The moment the Aussies, Brits and Kiwis leave the field, it reverts to the 'hands off - or else' policy.

British men will only touch each other on a sports field when someone scores a point or a goal and then it's a full embrace, kiss and the odd grope. But try it on in the pub and see what happens.

Dr Ken Cooper also studied touch frequencies in a number of countries and recorded the following results for touches per hour - Puerto Rico 180, Paris 110, Florida 2, London 0.

From our research and personal experience, here's a ready reckoner of places where it's acceptable to touch or not:

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