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Файл:Clarissa V. The history of a young lady
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CLARISSA • V
fl ections upon my vile ingratitude to so superior an excellence will ever be my curse.
Had she been a Miss Howe to me, and treated me as if
I were a Hickman, I had had a call for revenge; and policy
(when I had intended to be an husband) might have justifi ed
my attempts to humble her. But a meek and gentle temper was
her’s, though a true heroine, whenever honour or virtue called
for an exertion of spirit.
Nothing but my cursed devices stood in the way of my happiness. Remembrest thou not how repeatedly, from the fi rst,
I poured cold water upon her rising fl ame, by meanly and
ungratefully turning upon her the injunctions, which virgin
delicacy, and fi lial duty, induced her to lay me under before
I got her into my power?
34
Did she not tell me, and did I not know it, if she had not
told me, that she could not be guilty of affectation or tyran-
35
ny to the man whom she intended to marry?
I knew, as she
once upbraided me, that from the time I had got her from her
father’s house, I had a plain path before me.
36
True did she say,
34
See Vol. III. Letter XV. See also Letters XVII. XLV. XLVI. of
that volume, and many other places.
35
See Vol. V. Letter XXXIV. – It may be observed further, that
all Clarissa’s occasional lectures to Miss Howe, on that young lady’s
treatment of Mr. Hickman, prove that she was herself above affectation and tyranny. – See, more particularly, the advice she gives to
that friend of her heart, Letter XXXII. of Vol. VIII. – “O my dear,”
says she, in that Letter, “that it had been my lot (as I was not permitted to live single) to have met with a man by whom I could have
acted generously and unreservedly!” &c. &c.
36
See Vol. V. Letters XXVI. and XXXIV.
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SAMUEL RICHARDSON
and I triumphed in the discovery, that from that time I held
37
her soul in suspense an hundred times.
alone was enough to convince an infi del that she had a mind in
which love and tenderness would have presided, had I permitted the charming buds to put forth and blow.
She would have had no reserve, as once she told me, had
I given her cause of doubt.
39
And did she not own to thee, that
once she could have loved me; and, could she have made me
good, would have made me happy?
a love of the noblest kind! A love, as she hints in her posthumous letter,
41
that extended to the soul; and which she not
only avowed in her dying hours, but contrived to let me know
it after death, in that letter fi lled with warnings and exhortations, which had for their sole end my eternal welfare!
The cursed women, indeed, endeavoured to excite my vengeance, and my pride, by preaching to me of me. And my pride
was, at times, too much excited by their vile insinuations. But
had it even been as they said; well might she, who had been
used to be courted and admired by every desiring eye, and worshipped by every respectful heart – well might such a woman be allowed to draw back, when she found herself kept in
suspense, as to the great question of all, by a designing and
intriguing spirit; pretending awe and distance, as reasons for
reining-in a fervour, which, if real, cannot be reined-in-Divine
My ipecacuanha trial
38
40
O, Belford! here was love;
37
Ibid. Letter XXXIV.
38
See Vol. V. Letters II. III.
39
Ibid. Letter XXXVI.
40
See Vol. VIII. Letter LXIV.
41
See Letter XXXVI. of this volume.
332
CLARISSA • V
creature! Her very doubts, her reserves, (so justly doubting,)
would have been my assurance, and my glory! – And what
other trial needed her virtue! What other needed a purity
so angelic, (blessed with such a command in her passions in
the bloom of youth,) had I not been a villain – and a wanton,
a conceited, a proud fool, as well as a villain?
These refl ections sharpened, rather than their edge by
time abated, accompany me in whatever I do, and wherever
I go; and mingle with all my diversions and amusements. And
yet I go into gay and splendid company. I have made new acquaintance in the different courts I have visited. I am both esteemed and sought after, by persons of rank and merit. I visit
the colleges, the churches, the palaces. I frequent the theatre:
am present at every public exhibition; and see all that is worth
seeing, that I had not see before, in the cabinets of the curious:
am sometimes admitted to the toilette of an eminent toast, and
make one with distinction at the assemblies of others – yet
can think of nothing, nor of any body, with delight, but of my
CLARISSA. Nor have I seen one woman with advantage to
herself, but as she resembles, in stature, air, complexion, voice,
or in some feature, that charmer, that only charmer of my soul.
What greater punishment, than to have these astonishing
perfections, which she was mistress of, strike my remembrance
with such force, when I have nothing left me but the remorse of
having deprived myself and the world of such a blessing? Now
and then, indeed, am I capable of a gleam of comfort, arising
(not ungenerously) from the moral certainty which I have of
her everlasting happiness, in spite of all the machinations and
333
SAMUEL RICHARDSON
devices which I set on foot to ensnare her virtue, and to bring
down so pure a mind to my own level.
For can I be, at worst, [avert that worst,
O thou SUPREME, who only canst avert it!]
So much a wretch, so very far abandon’d,
But that I must, even in the horrid’s gloom,
Reap intervenient joy, at least some respite,
From pain and anguish, in her bliss. –
* * *
If I fi nd myself thus miserable abroad, I will soon return to
England, and follow your example, I think – turn hermit, or
some plaguy thing or other, and see what a constant course of
penitence and mortifi cation will do for me. There is no living at this rate – d – n me if there be!
If any mishap should befal me, you’ll have the particulars of it from De la Tour. He indeed knows but little English;
but every modern tongue is your’s. He is a trusty and ingenious
fellow; and, if any thing happen, will have some other papers,
which I have already sealed up, for you to transmit to Lord M.
And since thou art so expert and so ready at executorships,
pr’ythee, Belford, accept of the offi ce for me, as well as for my
Clarissa – CLARISSA LOVELACE let me call her.
By all that’s good, I am bewitched to her memory. Her very
name, with mine joined to it, ravishes my soul, and is more
delightful to me than the sweetest music.
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CLARISSA • V
Had I carried her [I must still recriminate] to any other
place than that accursed woman’s – for the potion was her
invention and mixture; and all the persisted-in violence was at
her instigation, and at that of her wretched daughters, who
have now amply revenged upon me their own ruin, which
they lay at my door –
But this looks so like the confession of a thief at the gallows, that possibly thou wilt be apt to think I am intimidated in
prospect of the approaching interview. But far otherwise. On
the contrary, most cheerfully do I go to meet the Colonel; and
I would tear my heart out of my breast with my own hands,
were it capable of fear or concern on that account.
Thus much only I know, that if I should kill him, [which
I will not do, if I can help it,] I shall be far from being easy in
my mind; that shall I never more be. But as the meeting is evidently of his own seeking, against an option fairly given to
the contrary, and I cannot avoid it, I’ll think of that hereafter. It is but repenting and mortifying for all at once; for I am
sure of victory, as I am that I now live, let him be ever so skillful a swordsman; since, besides that I am no unfl eshed novice, this is a sport that, when provoked to it, I love as well as
my food. And, moreover, I shall be as calm and undisturbed as
the bishop at his prayers; while he, as is evident by his letter,
must be actuated by revenge and passion.
Doubt not, therefore, Jack, that I shall give a good account of this affair. Mean time, I remain,
Your’s most affectionately, &c. LOVELACE.
LETTER LXII
Mr. Lovelace, to John Belford, Esq.
Trent, Dec. 3 – 14.
To-morrow is to be the day, that will, in all probability, send
either one or two ghosts to attend the manes of my CLARISSA.
I arrived here yesterday; and inquiring for an English gentleman of the name of Morden, soon found out the Colonel’s
lodgings. He had been in town two days; and left his name at
every probable place.
He was gone to ride out; and I left my name, and where to
be found; and in the evening he made me a visit.
He was plaguy gloomy. That was not I. But yet he told me
that I had acted like a man of true spirit in my fi rst letter; and
with honour, in giving him so readily this meeting. He wished
I had in other respects; and then we might have seen each other upon better terms than now we did.
I said there was no recalling what was passed; and that
I wished some things had not been done, as well as he.
To recriminate now, he said, would be as exasperating as
unavailable. And as I had so cheerfully given him this opportunity, words should give place to business. – Your choice, Mr.
Lovelace, of time, of place, of weapon, shall be my choice.
336
CLARISSA • V
The two latter be your’s, Mr. Morden. The time tomorrow,
or next day, as you please.
Next day, then, Mr. Lovelace; and we’ll ride out tomorrow, to fi x the place.
Agreed, Sir.
Well: now, Mr. Lovelace, do you choose the weapon.
I said I believed we might be upon an equal footing with
the single rapier; but, if he thought otherwise, I had no objection to a pistol.
I will only say, replied he, that the chances may be more
equal by the sword, because we can neither of us be to seek in
that; and you would stand, says he, a worse chance, as I apprehend, with a pistol; and yet I have brought two, that you may
take your choice of either; for, added he, I have never missed
a mark at pistol-distance, since I knew how to hold a pistol.
I told him, that he spoke like himself; that I was expert
enough that way, to embrace it, if he chose it; though not
so sure of my mark as he pretended to be. Yet the devil’s in
it, Colonel, if I, who have slit a bullet in two upon a knife’s
edge, hit not my man. So I have no objection to a pistol, if
it be your choice. No man, I’ll venture to say, has a steadier
hand or eye than I have.
They may both be of use to you, Sir, at the sword, as well
as at the pistol: the sword, therefore, be the thing, if you please.
With all my heart.
We parted with a solemn sort of ceremonious civility: and
this day I called upon him; and we rode out together to fi x
upon the place: and both being of one mind, and hating to
put off for the morrow what could be done today, would have
337
SAMUEL RICHARDSON
decided it then: but De la Tour, and the Colonel’s valet, who
attended us, being unavoidably let into the secret, joined to
beg we would have with us a surgeon from Brixen, whom La
Tour had fallen in with there, and who had told him he was to
ride next morning to bleed a person in a fever, at a lone cottage, which, by the surgeon’s description, was not far from
the place where we then were, if it were not that very cottage
within sight of us.
They overtook so to manage it, that the surgeon should
know nothing of the matter till his assistance was called in.
And La Tour, being, as I assured the Colonel, a ready contriving fellow, [whom I ordered to obey him as myself, were
the chance to be in his favour,] we both agreed to defer the decision till tomorrow, and to leave the whole about the surgeon to the management of our two valets; enjoining them
absolute secrecy: and so rode back again by different ways.
We fi xed upon a little lone valley for the spot – ten tomorrow morning the time – and single rapier the word. Yet
I repeatedly told him, that I valued myself so much upon my
skill in that weapon, that I would wish him to choose any other.
He said it was a gentleman’s weapon; and he who understood it not, wanted a qualifi cation that he ought to suffer for
not having: but that, as to him, one weapon was as good as
another, throughout all the instruments of offence.
So, Jack, you see I take no advantage of him: but my devil
must deceive me, if he take not his life or his death at my hands
before eleven tomorrow morning.
His valet and mine are to be present; but both strictly enjoined to be impartial and inactive: and, in return for my civil-
338
CLARISSA • V
ity of the like nature, he commanded his to be assisting me, if
he fell.
We are to ride thither, and to dismount when at the place;
and his footman and mine are to wait at an appointed distance,
with a chaise to carry off to the borders of the Venetian territories the survivor, if one drop; or to assist either or both, as
occasion may demand.
And thus, Belford, is the matter settled.
A shower of rain has left me nothing else to do; and therefore I write this letter; though I might as well have deferred it
till tomorrow twelve o’clock, when I doubt not to be able to
write again, to assure you much I am
Yours, &c. LOVELACE.
LETTER LXIII
Translation of a Letter from F.j. De La Tour.
To John Belford, Esq. Near Soho-Square,
London. Trent, Dec. 18, N.s.
SIR,
I have melancholy news to inform you of, by order of
the Chevalier Lovelace. He showed me his letter to you before
he sealed it; signifying, that he was to meet the Chevalier Morden on the 15th. Wherefore, as the occasion of the meeting is
so well known to you, I shall say nothing of it here.
I had taken care to have ready, within a little distance,
a surgeon and his assistant, to whom, under an oath of secrecy,
I had revealed the matter, (though I did not own it to the two
gentlemen;) so that they were prepared with bandages, and all
things proper. For well was I acquainted with the bravery and
skill of my chevalier; and had heard the character of the other;
and knew the animosity of both. A post-chaise was ready, with
each of their footmen, at a little distance.
The two chevaliers came exactly at their time: they were
attended by Monsieur Margate, (the Colonel’s gentleman,)
340
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