Medical humor

*****

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

*****

A young man approached his family physician and said, "Doc, I'm afraid you'll have to remove my wife's tonsils one of these days." "My good man," replied the doctor, "I removed them six years ago. Did you ever hear of a woman having two sets of tonsils?" "No," the husband retorted, "but you've heard of a man having two wives, haven't you?"

The eyes

Phonetic exercise: eyes [aiz], outermost layer [‘autəməust ‘leiə], cornea [‘k:niə], sclera [skliərə], iris [‘aiəris], opaque [əu’peik], choroid ([‘k:roid], ciliary [‘siliəri], retina [‘retinə], cataract [‘kætærəkt], glaucoma [gl:’kəumə], blindness [‘blaindnis], myopia [mai’əupiə]

Make a report on the eyes according to the plan below:

Definition: organs that detect light.

Functions: first(ly), to detect light, and, second(ly), to send electrical impulses along the optic nerve to the visual and other areas of the brain.

Structure: three coats: the outer layer, the middle layer, and the innermost layer.

The outermost layer: the cornea and sclera;

The cornea: the transparent front part of the eye that covers the iris, pupil, and anterior chamber.

The sclera: the opaque, white, fibrous, protective outer layer of the eye.

The middle layer: the choroid, the ciliary body, and the iris.

The choroid: the vascular layer containing connective tissue of the eye lying between the retina and the sclera.

The ciliary body: the tissue inside the eye composed of the ciliary muscle and ciliary processes.

The iris is a membrane in the eye responsible for controlling the diameter and size of the pupil and the amount of light reaching the retina.

The innermost layer: the retina

The retina: a complex, layered structure with several layers of neurons.

The lens: a transparent structure in the eye that, along with the cornea, helps to refract light to be focused on the retina.

Eye color: the color of the iris. Eye colors: green, blue, or brown.

The most common diseases of the eyes: cataract, glaucoma, blindness, total blindness, partial blindness, myopia, hyperopia, retinopathy, diabetic retionopathy, etc.

MYOPIA

Phonetic exercise: eyes [aiz], outermost layer [‘autəməust ‘leiə], cornea [‘k:niə], sclera [skliərə], iris [‘aiəris], opaque [u’peik], choroid [‘k:roid], ciliary [‘siliəri], retina [‘retinə], crystalline [‘kristəlain], lens [lenz], cataract [‘kætærəkt], glaucoma [gl:’kəumə], blindness [‘blaindnis], myopia [mai’əupiə], refractive [ri’fræktiv], defect [di’fekt], image [‘imid3], prevalence [‘prevələns], occurrence [ə’kΛrəns; ə’k:rəns], axial [‘æksiəl], curvature [‘kə:vət∫ə], degenerative [di’d3enərətiv], nocturnal [nk’tə:nəl], deprivation [,depri’vei∫n], pseudomyopia [,sju:dəmai’əupiə], medium [‘mi:diəm], congenital [kən’d3enətl], onset [‘nset], genetic [d3ə’netik, d3i’netik], environmental [in,vaiərən’mentl], atropine [‘ætrəpin, ‘ætrəpi:n]

Make a report on myopia according to the plan below:

Definition: a refractive defect of the eye in which light produces image focus in front of the retina when accommodation is relaxed.

Epidemiology: The global prevalence of refractive errors has been estimated from 800 million to 2.3 billion. The incidence of myopia within sampled population often varies with age, country, sex, race, ethnicity, occupation, environment, and other factors.

Classification:

Axial myopia is attributed to an increase in the eye's axial length.

Refractive myopia is attributed to the condition of the refractive elements of the eye.

Curvature myopia is attributed to excessive, or increased, curvature of one or more of the refractive surfaces of the eye, especially the cornea.

Degree of myopia:

Low myopia usually describes myopia of −3.00 diopters or less (i.e. closer to 0.00).

Medium myopia usually describes myopia between −3.00 and −6.00 diopters.

High myopia usually describes myopia of −6.00 or more.

Age at onset:

Congenital myopia, also known as infantile myopia, is present at birth and persists through infancy.

Youth onset myopia occurs prior to age 20.

School myopia appears during childhood, particularly the school-age years.

Early adult onset myopia occurs between ages 20 and 40.

Late adult onset myopia occurs after age 40.

Symptoms, signs, clinical manifestations, clinical features:

Myopia presents with blurry distance vision but good near vision.

Causes: a combination of genetic and environmental factors.

Diagnosis: an eye examination by an ophthalmologist. Frequently an autorefractor or retinoscope is used to give an initial objective assessment of the refractive status of each eye, then a phoropter is used to subjectively refine the patient's eyeglass prescription. A phoropter is an instrument commonly used by eye care professionals during an eye examination, containing different lenses used for refraction of the eye during sight testing to measure an individual's refractive error and determine his or her eyeglass prescription.

Prevention: There is no universally accepted method of preventing myopia. Commonly attempted preventative methods: wearing reading glasses, convex lenses, eye drops and participating in more outdoor activities.

Management: eyeglasses, contact lenses, and refractive surgery; eye exercises and relaxation techniques such as the Bates method.

Myopia control: atropine of varying strength in stabilizing, and in some case, reducing myopia.