Chapter Twenty-One

"You could've taken a few more days off," Tory said quietly when she came upon KT leaning back in her office chair, eyes nearly closed.

"Nah." KT smiled wanly as she straightened up. "I can feel crappy at work as well as I can sitting in my condo. My brain is working all right. It's just going to take another week or so for my body to catch up."

"You could have done half-shifts."

"I'm okay." KT held up her left arm. The awkward, heavy splint was gone, and in its place was an elastic wrist wrap with thin, flexible bands attached to each injured finger, holding them in a safe, flexed position. "Look Pia finally let me go to a wristlet. I've been to therapy every day except for those few days I was... indisposed last week."

In truth, KT had insisted on returning to therapy even when Pia had wanted her to wait a few more days. Despite some muscle cramping and a persistent headache, she needed the return to routine. She needed to feel in control again, and most importantly, she needed to get her relationship with Pia back onto familiar ground. Even though Pia had stayed with her most of the day after they had awakened in one another's arms, she had been distant and cautious, and KT had found the distance maddening. They'd gone from a degree of intimacy, both physical and emotional, that KT hadn't experienced in years to careful formality in a matter of minutes, and she was left with an empty feeling that it seemed only Pia could fill. At least during therapy, Pia was relaxed and easy with her. They'd resumed their casual conversations as well as their frequent debates about the speed and direction of KT's therapy, verbally sparring over how much KT could do and how quickly. KT found that she enjoyed the power that Pia wielded with surprising gentleness. In fact, there was nothing about Pia that she didn't enjoy.

"Indisposed," Tory said dryly. She noted that KT's eyes were clear despite the fact that she looked exhausted still. "How are you handling the pain?"

KT blinked, and a muscle jumped on the edge of her jaw. "Not with narcotics, if that's what you're asking."

Tory kept her voice even. "What I'm asking is if you're doing all right without them."

"Sorry," KT said quietly. "It was rough for the first week or so. Besides feeling like I was going to puke any second, my hand felt like it was going to fall off. I've started to take Tegretol and that, along with the Naprosyn, is keeping things to a tolerable level,"

"Good. Are you staying well hydrated, because you look a little shaky. That's easy to fix, you know."

"Don't even think about coming near me with an intravenous needle. That lasted about seven hours the last time, and when I managed to dislodge it in the shower by accident, I thought Pia was going to kill me."

"Really?" Tory raised an inquisitive eyebrow and was astounded to see KT blush. "Well, well."

"It's not like that, Tory." KT sounded defensive even to herself and laughed softly. "I can't believe I'm explaining that I'm not sleeping with someone."

Tory checked her watch, saw that she had at least five minutes before the next patient, and settled into the chair across from KT. "It sounds to me as if you're defending her honor."

"Pia's honor doesn't need defending."

"You sound like that matters to you," Tory remarked neutrally. It was an odd experience discussing an intimate relationship with a woman with whom she had once been intimate herself. To her amazement, she felt no animosity, jealousy, or even criticism, probably because she had never heard KT sound the way she did now at once protective and perplexed. "She really has you confused, doesn't she?"

"She's got me pretty much in a tailspin, yeah," KT admitted ruefully. She regarded Tory cautiously. "You're not mad?"

"About what?"

"About me being...interested...in Pia."

Tory sighed. "Pia is an adult. So are you."

"That's not what I asked you."

"God, you are relentless."

"You've forgotten?"

Tory laughed quietly. "There were a lot of things about you I had forgotten. A lot of things that I liked." She regarded KT steadily. "A number of things that I loved."

Caught off guard, KT jerked. "Christ, Tory, I made a mess of things back then. I'm sorry."

"So am I. And it wasn't all your fault." Tory smiled, feeling a hard, cold place inside of her break apart and drift away. "And you know what? I'm tired of talking about it. It was a long time ago, and we're both different people now."

KT sat forward, resting her good arm on the desktop. "You mean that?"

"I do."

"Thank you."

Tory nodded, wondering if it wouldn't be possible for them to someday be friends. She wasn't ready to declare that immediately, but as each day passed, she grew more comfortable with the woman KT had become in the years during their separation. "So, about Pia."

"I don't want to talk about Pia," KT replied evenly. "She wouldn't like it."

"Well. That says a lot all by itself."

KT looked confused. "It does?"

"Even when she's not around, you're thinking about what's important to her."

"Oh," KT moaned quietly. "That sounds bad. Very bad."

Amused, Tory said nothing. She had very rarely seen KT O'Bannon when she wasn't completely on top of her game, any game. Oh, this is going to be fun to watch.

"Why are you smiling?" KT asked suspiciously.

"No reason," Tory said lightly as she stood. "No reason at all."

"A little advice wouldn't hurt," KT called after her.

"Afraid not," Tory called back. "Where's the pleasure if you don't suffer first?"

KT tilted back in her chair again and closed her eyes, thinking of Pia's skin beneath her fingers and Pia's sounds of pleasure when she'd touched her. She had no doubt of the exquisite pleasure making love with Pia would bring, nor did the throbbing in the pit of her stomach leave any doubt as to how much she was suffering right that minute. What she wasn't certain about was whether she dared, or even had the right, to seduce Pia away from her dream of forever. Because forever was something that KT no longer believed in.

"And then I thought I'd sell the business, move to Trinidad, and find a tireless young lover."

"That's nice," Pia said absently.

"Of course," Pia's mother mused as she nibbled on a corner of a sandwich, "I haven't talked to your father about the idea yet."

"Talk to Daddy about what?"

"About where you've been for the last ten minutes," Elana noted conversationally.

Pia blushed. "I'm sorry, Mom."

"Is everything all right?"

"Yes. Of course."

Elana sipped her tea and regarded Pia thoughtfully. "Are you seeing someone?"

"No!" Pia sighed. "Sort of. Not exactly. I'm not sure."

"Well, I can see why you're preoccupied, then. Is it Dr. O'Bannon?"

Pia stiffened. "Why do you ask? Are people talking?"

"No, but there aren't that many new faces in this town, other than tourists, and forgive me for saying so, but I've never known you to have a...fling."

"That's what it would probably be with KT. A fling."

"Why do you say that?" Elana asked with interest.

"I don't think she's the type to settle down." Pia tried to keep her tone light, but her eyes were sad.

"People change, Pia. Or maybe they just reach a point in their lives when they want something different." Elana stood and began to clear the dishes from the table. When Pia rose to help, she waved her down, "Don't worry so much about who she was, and concentrate on who she is with you. That's all that matters."

"Can I ask you something personal?"

Elana laughed. "We haven't been talking about personal things?"

"This is about you and Daddy."

"All right." Elana set the dishes in the sink and leaned against the counter, her large dark eyes compassionate and curious. "Go ahead."

"Did you ever regret not having other lovers?"

"I won't ask why you think I haven't had others," Elana said with a small smile. "I was eighteen when I met him and totally in love from the first moment. There's never been anything that I could have wanted in that regard that I haven't had with him."

"I always sort of got that feeling." Pia rose and walked to the door that led out to the deck. Her parents' home stood on one of the highest points of Pilgrim's Heights, and from there she could see the wetlands, the dunes beyond, and just a sliver of the bay. It was a beautiful view and one of which she never tired. "I never consciously decided to wait not at first. It just seemed right."

"And now you've changed your mind?" Elana joined Pia in the doorway and slid her arm around her daughter's waist.

"I'm not sure."

"But the very attractive Dr. O'Bannon has you reconsidering."

Pia rested her head against her mother's shoulder. "She makes it hard for me to think at all."

"Ah, well." Elana rubbed Pia's back much the way she had when Pia was small, in comfort and companionship. "What's she like? Other than sexy, that is."

Pia laughed. "Very intense. Aggressive. Focused. And..." She took a long shaky breath. "And she hurts inside, and I want to make that go away."

"How does she make you feel?"

"Beautiful. Competent. Interesting. Sexy. Aggravated and annoyed." Pia smiled self-consciously. "Wonderful."

"You haven't brought anyone home for a long time," Elana remarked. "And I can't remember the last time you sounded this excited about anyone. Bring her to dinner tomorrow night so I can get a look at her."

"Mom."

"Don't worry, I'll be subtle."

"All right. I'll ask her."

"There's nothing wrong with changing your mind about the things you want in life." Elana gave Pia a firm hug. "I just want you to be happy with whatever choice you make."

"I know." Pia kissed her mother's cheek. "I'm just not sure if what makes me happy now is going to make me happy down the road."

"That's something we sometimes need to take on faith."

Faith, Pia thought. Trust and faith. She remembered the way she had felt with KT in her arms and with KT's hands on her body. More than she'd ever wanted anything, she wanted to believe that those things were possible with the only woman who had ever touched her so deeply, or stirred her so completely.

"Come on, you should dance with me," Allie said.

"Again? We just danced," Bri complained. It wasn't that she minded dancing. She loved dancing with Carre. Except then, it was more about feeling Carre in her arms the way Carre's body fit just right into the angle of her belly and thighs, the way Carre's breasts molded to hers, and the way Carre's leg fit so naturally between her own. She always got hot when they danced, and more than once, she'd sweet-talked Carre into discreetly easing her discomfort in a dark corner of the bar or the backseat of the car because she couldn't wait until they got home. Carre always seemed to know when she really needed her, and she never said no. Jeez, I miss her so much.

"We can't look like we're just sitting here spying on people," Allie pointed out reasonably while settling her hand on the inside of Bri's thigh a few inches above her knee. She caressed the firm muscles beneath the soft leather, stopping a few decorous inches below Bri's crotch. Leaning close, she whispered in Bri's ear, "And we're supposed to look like we're, you know, a couple. So it's good if we dance, since you don't want to make out."

Allie laughed when Bri gave her a cutting look. "Come on. I've been good. This is our third time out together, and I haven't put the moves on you once."

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea," Bri mumbled. Neither her father nor Reese had explicitly said that she and Allie couldn't check out the area bars for signs of drug dealing or some word about the candy-bowl parties, but she had a pretty good idea that her father would be pissed. She thought maybe Reese would be proud of their initiative, and that helped ease her guilt a little bit. What wasn't helping her guilt was the fact that dancing with Allie tended to make her homy. She consoled herself with the thought that that was natural, but it still made her feel a little unfaithful. It also made her a lot uncomfortable, and taking care of things herself was getting old pretty fast. "Maybe we should try another place."

"This place is perfect. It's a nice mix of gays and hets with plenty of money. You know these guys are looking for easy marks who are going to drop a bundle without thinking twice about it." She took Bri's hand and tugged her up from the bar stool. "Come on. I like this song."

It was one of those songs that you could dance to either fast or slow, and when they made it to the edge of the crowded dance floor, Allie wrapped her arms around Bri's neck and snuggled into her.

"Mmm, you really are a good dancer," Allie purred.

"Cut it out," Bri hissed.

"What?"

"You know what. The thing you're doing with your hips in my crotch."

Allie laughed. "Jesus. Carre better come home soon, or you're going to burst into flames. I'm just dancing"

"That's not dancing, that's practically fucking."

"You wish." Allie laughed again but eased away until there were a few inches between them. "I must be crazy to cut you a break when you're in such a weakened condition."

Bri grinned, "Yeah, yeah."

Allie was about to make another smart remark when someone pressed close to them in the crowd.

"Hey, you girls looking for a little something to spice up the ride?"

Instinctively, Bri stiffened, but Allie just turned slightly in her arms and regarded the preppy-looking guy with studied disinterest. He was dancing with a woman whose face she couldn't see. With casual coolness, she replied, "If you're volunteering, we're so not interested."

He laughed, his gaze traveling to Bri's face and darting quickly away. "Do I look crazy? I can see you two don't need any help in that department." He leaned over, his voice low. "I was thinking more along the lines of chemical enhancements."

"We're not in the market," Bri said sharply, moving them away from the interloper. To Allie she said, loud enough for him to hear, "Come on, baby he could be a narc."

"Hey! No, no!" He followed them persistently. "I'm not trying to sell you anything. I just thought you might like some party favors. You know, an exchange of gifts, so to speak."

"Sorry," Allie said regretfully. "We didn't come prepared." She hooked her fingers over Bri's belt and smiled at her seductively, then licked her neck. "But we like to play, don't we, baby."

Bri slid an arm around Allie's shoulders protectively and narrowed her eyes at the man who watched them. "We don't share some things, got it?"

"I'm telling you, that's not what this is about." He slid a business card from his pocket and tucked it into the back pocket of Allie's tight jeans. He very carefully kept his fingers from touching her body. "There's a phone number on there. Call it Wednesday night at nine o'clock and ask for Jimmy."

"And then what?" Allie asked, bumping her hip rhythmically between Bri's legs in a distinctly proprietary move. She directed her question at the stranger but kept her mouth on Bri's throat. She looked as if she was about to swallow her whole. .

"Then we'll party."