Women who dislike football are stupid

A lot of women acknowledge that they quietly hate their men as they watch football on television. Football makes men forget about everything, and it is practically impossible to bring them back to real life. If a woman puts on her new lingerie and walks past her man slowly when he watches football, she may risk her life because she will simply block his view.

When a football match takes place, women lose their men for household work during the day and matrimonial duties at night. One can only imagine what women think and feel during the time of large-scale events in the world of football, like the ﾵEuroﾧ championship, for example.

The only thing that a woman can do is to try to understand and accept that fact that her boyfriend or husband becomes a part of the TV set for the time of football matches. It would also be best for a woman to leave her man alone and let him enjoy the game. On the other hand, she would obviously make her man happen if she joins him for watching.

A small percentage of women do acknowledge that they always join their men to watch football on TV. Some say that they like watching young, handsome and well-built men running around in their shorts. Some female fans say that they even know the rules of the game. All these women prefer to find their own pleasures in the world’s most popular game.

There are women who like to stir up big family scandals and fight when their husbands sit down to watch football. Such women are certain that football is the biggest evil in the world which has to be exterminated for good. They think that a company of men watching the game and drinking beer is a devilish ritual. They probably do not understand that every man always remain a little boy deep in his soul.

Statistics says that about 40,000 people died of extensive myocardial infarction during the recent 20 years of broadcasting football matches. It goes without saying that it would be better to let men scream, shout and swear at the top of their lungs. Let them yell how they want to slay a referee or a goalkeeper. A woman may use this opportunity to do something for her own pleasure – shopping, reading, etc. It would be stupid for women to see only the negative side of football.

There is no other sport that can unite so many men in their common passion. The majority of men are indifferent to biathlon, tennis or rhythmic gymnastics. It is because a game of football is a game copy of a war battle. It is like a struggle between two armies on the battlefield. The winner takes it all.

Questions and tasks:

1. What are the reasons for men and women to watch football?

2. Do you think women’s show their interest in football just to please their mates?

3. Why is this game so popular among men?

4. In what ways football can affect a man’s life?

5. Can interest to football turn into mania? How to prevent it?

ﾵ ﾧ Men do not marry women like these

There are women who are unlucky in their love life. They are usually women at age 30 and over. One can divide them into several groups for convenience.

A woman who understands everything

She really understands all his problems that his wife never understands. She even accepts the fact that he cannot divorce his wife. This understanding can last for years. She understands that she should not ask unnecessary questions or cause problems to a man. That is to be always ready, for example, to take a day off work if he suddenly finds some time off his wife, children and work. Usually, he has a low-paid job, that is why his ever-understanding woman has to give him good trousers for his birthday, a jacket for his child or face powder for his wife.

She fully understands that he cannot go on holidays with her. She understands that he has to visit his terminally ill mother-in-law with his gravely ill wife and a child with psychological problems. She also has a proper understanding of his coming and going with a suitcase.

Some time later she decides to break up with him for good. But he turns up with a bouquet of mimosas and whispers a magic spell: “You understand everything, don’t you?” This phrase mesmerizes her and she keeps on understanding everything for many years of their hopeless relations. When her age enables her to understand him no longer, she is left alone without any understanding in her home.

A woman who does not want to get married at all

As a matter of fact, she does. But she keeps on repeating that she does not. For some reason that she cannot explain herself, this type of woman is certain that marriage is a form of legalised prostitution. In addition, she thinks that dropping a pair of men’s socks in a washing machine is backbreaking work for a woman. Is it for feminists?

She does not perceive striking differences, but she suspects that something is amiss. She feels rather lonely, especially at nights when the wind is blowing outdoors and maybe a pair of not very dirty socks is not so execrable. Nevertheless, she fights off these treacherous thoughts and any sign of her weakness. “Why do I need a man? I earn a living myself. Moreover, I can’t stand somebody walking back and forth before my eyes.” These are her typical thoughts.

There are quite a few motivations and reasons. She will pour them out to a rare man that enters her life. Men are not just fearful, but also submissive. If you don’t want it, I don’t want it either. This night she is again alone. Maybe, she falls to thinking how stupid of her it was. But in the morning she forgets about all her nightmares and over and over again she tells her admirer: “I am concerned with nothing but sex and ﾵbusinessﾧ.” As you wish. “And I need complete freedom in our relations,” she adds self-consciously. Naturally, who would mind free relations? Again she suffers from insomnia; she needs someone, but nobody needs her.

But she is successful, she has a nice suit and she loves her job. Merely out of habit she doesn’t want to have any relations. However, men do not want to be in relations with her. They are frightened; they are accustomed to it. The best variant is a joint project, a casual encounter that ends with awesome sex.

A woman who does want to get married badly

This is an absolutely different type of woman. Such women are dying to become a wife, no matter whose wife. Her motives are incomprehensible. In fact, the number of reasons is so great, that it is still impossible to find out the major one: time goes by, all her friends are married, her mother tells her to get married, it is high time to give birth to a baby, she has no wedding pictures and so on. Any man within reach will be regarded as a potential husband. If a male colleague invited her for a cup of coffee, she imagines him already in a black suit. She sizes up a business partner, asks her new neighbour to buy some bread and invites him to drink tea and to have sex. In the morning she slips into a dressing gown, makes coffee and chats about something looking innocently into his horrified eyes. All is fair when you attempt to get married. Such a woman will make a perfect “non-understanding” wife. As a rule, her beloved will not meet her expectations, because he is a brute making little money. As a matter of fact, she should have married another man. She is likely to divorce him and launch a search of a new husband. The process is as mindless and merciless as her desire to get married.

A compassionate woman

This is a more dangerous type in comparison with women who understand everything. A guilt complex instilled since her early childhood will not let her have any relationship. She constantly takes pity on somebody – her mother, father, grandmother or grandfather. She buys diapers for her small nephews, treats her brother for alcoholism or performs her colleague’s work for nothing. A man can always get a plate of soup at her place and hear something like ”you poor thing”, “go and have a rest” or “I will do it myself”. But a man may soon be bored with that, as much as he can be bored with never-ending telephone talks with her friends who need moral support. She will always find someone to feel pity for. She does not need happiness in her love life. If she has no one to take pity on, she will pine away and may start keeping a dog. The poor pet is doomed.

Naturally, the above-mentioned types of women do not include all kinds of women who are unlucky in their personal life. We do not take into consideration mama’s darlings, unlucky wives and sluts. But any of these can change if they follow the help-yourself principle, because first of all, they are women and everything is in their hands.

Questions and tasks:

1. Who is more unhappy in their love life – men or women? Why?

2. Do you think marriages are made on heaven?

3. Why contemporary men and women are unlikely to marry?

4. What is the best age for making a family?

5. What kind of man/woman would you like to marry?

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