I'm My Own Grandpa.

It sounds funny, I know, But it really is so, Oh, I'm my own grandpa. I'm my own grandpa. I'm my own grandpa. It sounds funny, I know, But it really is so, Oh, I'm my own grandpa. Now many, many years ago, when I was twenty-three, I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, and soon they, too, were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life, My daughter was my mother, cause she was my father's wife. To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy, I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy. My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad, And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad. For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother Of the widow's grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my stepmother. Father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run, And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son. My wife is now my mother's mother, and it makes me blue, Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too. Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild, And everytime I think of it, it nearly drives me wild, For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa! I'm my own grandpa. I'm my own grandpa. It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so, Oh, I'm my own grandpa

It sounds funny, I know, But it really is so, Oh, I'm my own grandpa. I'm my own grandpa. I'm my own grandpa. It sounds funny, I know, But it really is so, Oh, I'm my own grandpa. Now many, many years ago, when I was twenty-three, I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, and soon they, too, were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life, My daughter was my mother, cause she was my father's wife. To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy, I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy. My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad, And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad. For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother of the widow's grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my stepmother. Father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run, And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son. My wife is now my mother's mother, and it makes me blue, Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too. Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild, And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild, For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa! I'm my own grandpa. I'm my own grandpa. It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so, Oh, I'm my own grandpa

Ex. 9 Read the following article and find in the text equivalents of the given expressions below it.

United states 'career brides'

The Manhattan District Attorney in the United States is investigating a scam in which women, that it calls "career brides", married dozens of men for money. The brides earned about one thousand dollars for each marriage and the grooms got Green Cards - or the right to life and work in the US indefinitely. This report from Jane Stanley: One of the "career brides" applied for twenty-seven marriage licences over nineteen years - her husbands came from as far afield as Peru, Ecuador, Pakistan and the Dominican Republic. She's been charged with perjury and fraud - as she claimed on her applications that she'd never been married before. It's not known how many of the licences resulted in matrimony, nor how many men got Green Cards for their money. This allowed them to stay indefinitely in the United States, to claim benefits like Social Security and to apply to become citizens. The Manhattan District Attorney says he believes as many as twelve women were involved in the scam, spreading the idea of selling themselves as brides by word of mouth. So far charges have been brought against six of them - for applying for nearly fifty licences between them. One woman clearly forgot that she had had several Nigerian husbands when she too claimed to be a spinster.

1. a woman who has never married

2. money given by a government to people who are poor, ill or unemployed

3. an illegal way of making money

4. if you take an oath in a court of law and then lie when giving evidence

5. you find out about something by someone telling you, rather than by reading about it or hearing about it on the radio or television

6. someone who earns money for a living by getting married again and again and again

7. the state of being married; this is a formal word

8. someone who has come a very long way

9. people who have full rights to live in a particular country

10. the crime of gaining money by lying